Anonymous wrote:Many of those issues are easily resolved. Crate training, not allowed in certain rooms, auto ship dog food. Get a mature dog, already potty trained. Dog door and fenced in area. Dog walker if desired.

But imho you have absolutely the right to veto this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was me in 2011. Guess who got a dog in the end? Well, me. I did not want it, made it clear I wanted nothing to do with the dog, and then 2 months after the pup was growing up I ended p with the dog. Not DH, not the kids. They played with him for 2 months. Then, they didn't walk him, didn't groom him, DH created terrible habits with the dog, and I ended up training and retraining and taking care of the dog. DH ends up going overseas for 5 years and kids in HS and I was working, doing all the kids' activities, and walking the dog at 8 pm.
Vet, baths, sick, walks, all on me.
And DH? Guess what he would say when he came home for R&R? How come the house is filthy with fur! Bcs of you effing dog and me working full time, studying too, taking care of kids, traveling to stupid kid tournaments and competitions, and being overworked to death.
So, year, get the dog. You will end up loving him and hating your DH and kids on occasion.

Yes that is what I’m worried about too! DH already gets frustrated with me for how messy the house gets (I do try a lot but his tolerance for mess is very low and he loves cleaning so has a hard time understand why I’m not doing it more than I am), so it seems like that’s going to be even worse with a dog. And he is very grateful for everything I do as a SAHM and probably values a lot of what I do even more than I do myself, but he doesn’t know half the things I do! Like, he was surprised when he found out I had spent ten hours searching for a specialist for my kid, and had created a binder of ADHD research in preparation of the accommodations meeting with the school, and I was just thinking “this is just a teeny fraction of the kid if things I do for the kids and you didn’t even know about it?” I absolutely don’t expect a reward or anything but he probably assumes I have way more free time than I have.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did bit expect the votes to be so in favor of not getting a dog and I am so glad that the answer is pretty cut and dry.

I think we will go for a cat. I think I can reasonably say “no I’m not doing a lot of extra work.” Knowing DH, I think he will clean the hair and get the kids to do most of the rest of the work. Plus I actually like cats. I still don’t love the idea of the extra responsibility but I feel okay with it.

If you’re not okay with that, put your foot down. And don’t believe ANY promises. I guarantee your kids will get sick if helping within a week.

Anonymous wrote:Just a couple things: many breeds never go to a groomer. We’ve never sent a dog of ours to a groomer. And the vet is only once or twice a year. The major thing is walks. If you have the time and energy then it’s a great way to build in more exercise. And dogs really need it, not just to pee but for exercise and stimulation. Feeding a dog only takes a minute so that’s hardly a chore. And the extra cleaning usually just means vacuuming.

If you get a dog that is affectionate and bonded to you, then you get love in return. It’s not all work. Our kids love our dog more than they love each other most days.

Anonymous wrote:I want to want a dog for the sake of family unity, but I am not there yet. I don’t like the barking, the poop, the shedding, the licking, the scratching up floors and furniture. I don’t want to take a dog into get groomed regularly, pay for vet expenses, figure out what to do with the dog when we go out of town, and walk the dog every day. I also don’t like them sniffing my crotch, and I will admit that about ten years ago I was bitten by a dog and it definitely impacted my feelings about dogs. DH says that it won’t be a lot of work for me because the idea is to make kids walk the dog and clean up after it, but I cannot imagine that the kids will always be doing those things, and they can’t take the kid to the vet and get groomed and buy dog food. I’m a stay at home mom and so there will be lots of times when I’m the only one who can take care of the dog. I am terrible at being consistent with cleaning, and even dogs that don’t shed much are still going to create more mess, necessitating more cleaning.

But everybody else in the family wants a dog. And I have heard that people who didn’t want dogs but were overruled actually wound up loving them. Plus, when I was a kid (and had lots of time and no responsibilities) I loved dogs. So can I get to the point where I want a dog? You guys love having dogs, right? Will I learn to love a dog if we get one?

Anonymous wrote:Also, my husband is incredibly responsible and loves being around dogs, so I think that theoretically I could say “no I refuse to do anything with this dog” and my husband would do it all: walking, cleaning, grooming, etc.

But if the kids and DH had a really busy day, I can’t imagine DH not being resentful about spending his limited spare time caring for the dog when it would be much easier for me to do it. So I think that I would either have to accept way more work than I want or I create a lot of tension in my marriage. Unless I magically wind up loving having a dog.

Anonymous wrote:You will be the one who does most of the work. No matter how many promises everyone makes. And if you’re a SAHM everyone will say that you have the most free time and you should be doing the dog work. Has your family pet sit another dog at your home? Can you arrange for your kids to walk some neighbor dogs every day for a month, to show they can be responsible? I think if you wind up giving in, then you should be the one who gets the final say on which dog to get. Research the breeds and see who generally has the personality traits you prefer. And make sure everyone is prepared to do the work of training a puppy, because a badly-trained dog will be very tedious.

Anonymous wrote:That was me in 2011. Guess who got a dog in the end? Well, me. I did not want it, made it clear I wanted nothing to do with the dog, and then 2 months after the pup was growing up I ended p with the dog. Not DH, not the kids. They played with him for 2 months. Then, they didn't walk him, didn't groom him, DH created terrible habits with the dog, and I ended up training and retraining and taking care of the dog. DH ends up going overseas for 5 years and kids in HS and I was working, doing all the kids' activities, and walking the dog at 8 pm.
Vet, baths, sick, walks, all on me.
And DH? Guess what he would say when he came home for R&R? How come the house is filthy with fur! Bcs of you effing dog and me working full time, studying too, taking care of kids, traveling to stupid kid tournaments and competitions, and being overworked to death.
So, year, get the dog. You will end up loving him and hating your DH and kids on occasion.