This is a personal choice. It's also impossible to predict what your breastfeeding journey will be. And even as you go through it your thoughts a feelings will change. After 3.5 years breastfeeding these are my thoughts: It's okay to supplement and it's okay not to pump. You do you. It's so hard in the beginning, but it's also unbelievably wonderful once you find your groove and I'm glad I had that experience. Best wishes on your journey!

It seemed worth it when I was doing it, but kind of overblown and dumb afterward.

Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity, what did breastfeeding do to your boobs? I'm leaning toward formula because I'm worried about having saggy, deflated boobs.

I breastfed both of my kids for a year each (they are now 5 and 3). There hasn't been a noticeable difference in my size/shape - I was a C cup before and am still a C cup. If they are a little bit less perky now, I would attribute that to general aging, not breastfeeding. Gravity will get us all in the end!

Didn't read any of the prior posts but I breastfed both my kids for over a year and it was worth it to me.

Pros:
- Once you get the hang of it, way easier than bottles. You just put them on you and sit there (or lie there). No bottles to wash. Don't need to buy formula.
- Easy way to put them asleep or put them back to sleep if they wake up too early. Easy way to comfort them.
- Weight loss and better skin (for me at least). I could eat a ton and not worry about gaining weight.
- Emotional connection. I loved loved loved the feeling of bonding with them.

Cons:
- Rough in the beginning when it hurts. I got blisters and almost quit with first child.
- Makes it hard to get away from them. Can't really travel without them unless you want to pump every few hours.
- Mine didn't like bottles which made the above even harder.
- Getting engorged and needing to pump or breastfeed at inconvenient times

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot sleep train a newborn. In fact, you wake a newborn every few hours to eat, so they gain weight. Beyond that, there is not much scheduling to do and I have seen some parents be extremely cruel because their kid inevitably needs them at an unscheduled time. Please adjust your expectations. Please be there for your kid.

There is plenty for your partner to do, even if you are feeding - bring you the baby, change the baby, get the baby back to sleep. Many people find breastfeeding easier than making up a bottle. I enjoyed it and loved the closeness I felt with my baby. If it doesn't work for you, that's fine. Some people can't or don't want to, and as long as baby is fed and loved it doesn't matter.

But -- having a baby is hard. It will disrupt your sleep. It will change your roles in your marriage, at least temporarily. I am more worried about your expectations than about whether you breastfeed.

OP here. I disagree about sleep training a newborn. I know they wake up every 2-3 hours in the beginning, but they should be sleeping through the night by 6 months old. You can still do things to teach good sleep habits. It’s not cruel to sleep train or put your child on a schedule.

I don’t really see the point of my husband waking up if I’m getting up. Not trying to be rude but why have two sleep deprived parents? He also works and needs his sleep.

WOW there is a part of me that hopes you get yours because that fall from your high horse is gonna hurt.

Read some real scientific literature on baby sleep not stuff parsed from "sleep consultants" or your local pediatrician who might I add is not a specialist in sleep. Also STTN is scientific literature for babies under 1 year of age is defined as 5-7 hours straight.

OP wasn’t wrong. Many babies are able to sleep through the night by 6 months. You can sleep train as early as 4 months.

OP never said anything about getting information from sleep consultants or a pediatrician.

Her first slept through the night - 11 hours, by 3 months. Her newborn is sleeping 4 hour stretches. I think she is doing fine.

Some parents place and importance on sleep and schedules and down don’t.

I don’t think OP cares about your opinion since it’s been 2 years and her kids are good sleepers.

Anonymous wrote:Nothing beats the feeling of lips on nips.


The occasional extra hard bite is worth it

Ew. Gross.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot sleep train a newborn. In fact, you wake a newborn every few hours to eat, so they gain weight. Beyond that, there is not much scheduling to do and I have seen some parents be extremely cruel because their kid inevitably needs them at an unscheduled time. Please adjust your expectations. Please be there for your kid.

There is plenty for your partner to do, even if you are feeding - bring you the baby, change the baby, get the baby back to sleep. Many people find breastfeeding easier than making up a bottle. I enjoyed it and loved the closeness I felt with my baby. If it doesn't work for you, that's fine. Some people can't or don't want to, and as long as baby is fed and loved it doesn't matter.

But -- having a baby is hard. It will disrupt your sleep. It will change your roles in your marriage, at least temporarily. I am more worried about your expectations than about whether you breastfeed.

OP here. I disagree about sleep training a newborn. I know they wake up every 2-3 hours in the beginning, but they should be sleeping through the night by 6 months old. You can still do things to teach good sleep habits. It’s not cruel to sleep train or put your child on a schedule.

I don’t really see the point of my husband waking up if I’m getting up. Not trying to be rude but why have two sleep deprived parents? He also works and needs his sleep.

WOW there is a part of me that hopes you get yours because that fall from your high horse is gonna hurt.

Read some real scientific literature on baby sleep not stuff parsed from "sleep consultants" or your local pediatrician who might I add is not a specialist in sleep. Also STTN is scientific literature for babies under 1 year of age is defined as 5-7 hours straight.

Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity, what did breastfeeding do to your boobs? I'm leaning toward formula because I'm worried about having saggy, deflated boobs.

Most of the breast changes come from pregnancy, not nursing. Mine are about the same but like another poster I started out small. I was a B cup when I got pregnant and now I’m like a B/C? I can still comfortably and attractively go braless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20 year Nanny here- Breast fed babies are always easier to care for and sleep better. It’s hard for me to comfort a baby who is used to the boob when they need to soothe themselves. It’s also hard when they aren’t on a regular feeding schedule and you don’t know how much they’ve eaten. But, I will say from experience, it’s better for your bond as a working mom outside of the home to breast feed. That’s something you and only you share with your baby.

You are just wrong.

I didn’t say this was fact, this is only my personal experience during 20+ years caring for newborns. I’m a Night nanny and newborn care specialist. Formula fed babies are only easier because you know how much they are eating, but if the baby is co-sleeping or not on any schedule etc it doesn’t matter if they are breastfed or formula fed. With breastfed babies sometimes they will fall asleep on the boob after an ounce and then wake up hungry 20 mins later.

Co-sleeping? Risky business. Get too exhausted and one can fall asleep on bed or chair while feeding whether it's day or night, bottle or breast. Doesn't matter what's in the bottle. I'm not a nanny but had several children including a set of multiples. 1 woman I know had 2 sets of twins and a single. If a newborn or a few days old sleeps 3 hours after formula and 1-1.5 after breast then logically do some formula. Time the formulas feeds so the recovering mom gets sleep 1 am to 5 am and then same in pm.

OP updated the post after two years. No need to respond because it’s even two years.

Most of what I would say has already been said - breastfeeding was very positive for me but you do you.
But an added bonus is that when I was breastfeeding both my babies it was the only time in my life I lost weight without trying and when I look at pictures of me during that time I look great! The hormone release and calorie burn to make breastmilk was a combo that really helped me rebound and get my body back and feel good.

Anonymous wrote:Out of curiosity, what did breastfeeding do to your boobs? I'm leaning toward formula because I'm worried about having saggy, deflated boobs.

I have breastfed one kid and mine hardly changed. They’re maybe a tiny bit less perky but it’s not very noticeable. I had small-ish boobs to begin with, which could make a difference, but I don’t know for sure.

Out of curiosity, what did breastfeeding do to your boobs? I'm leaning toward formula because I'm worried about having saggy, deflated boobs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m a schedule oriented person. It seems snowy breastfeed babies don’t through the night until much later than formula fed babies. The family and friends that breastfed has babies who could only fall asleep being nursed, never slept more than 2-3 hours at a time well past 1 year, never learned to self-soothe, etc. They were very clingy, high needs babies. Most were super cranky because they were never getting adequate sleep. The formula fed babies were great sleepers, on schedules, and always happy. I don’t want to breastfeed because I’m afraid that will lead my child to becoming clingy and never sleep. I’m not willing to co-sleep as my husband and I don’t think it’s safe at all.

LOL, OK. I have two children. Both were breastfed. My oldest slept through the night at 5 months, the second at 6 months. They both were clockwork-mappers, both at home and at daycare. They could sleep anywhere, including in hotels, at daycare, and at grandma’s house.

But it sounds like you are an expert on parenting and babies, so enjoy knowing it all.

OP here. I’m not saying I know it all. I’m only speaking from my experience of family and friends kids.

OP, you’re right. Women need to feel superior and that breastfeeding was worth it - but it’s not. I’m HYP (so I do things better than most people) and I didn’t breastfeed either of my kids. It’s genetics, ladies, and sticking a kid on your boob means nothing other than you have too much time on your hands.

Yeah...that's not what it means. But you're a HYP so you should know that.

No, it really does. Even if you’re doing it to save money, it means your time is worth less than mine.

...do you just never feed your children? Because it's not worth your time?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m a schedule oriented person. It seems snowy breastfeed babies don’t through the night until much later than formula fed babies. The family and friends that breastfed has babies who could only fall asleep being nursed, never slept more than 2-3 hours at a time well past 1 year, never learned to self-soothe, etc. They were very clingy, high needs babies. Most were super cranky because they were never getting adequate sleep. The formula fed babies were great sleepers, on schedules, and always happy. I don’t want to breastfeed because I’m afraid that will lead my child to becoming clingy and never sleep. I’m not willing to co-sleep as my husband and I don’t think it’s safe at all.

LOL, OK. I have two children. Both were breastfed. My oldest slept through the night at 5 months, the second at 6 months. They both were clockwork-mappers, both at home and at daycare. They could sleep anywhere, including in hotels, at daycare, and at grandma’s house.

But it sounds like you are an expert on parenting and babies, so enjoy knowing it all.

OP here. I’m not saying I know it all. I’m only speaking from my experience of family and friends kids.

OP, you’re right. Women need to feel superior and that breastfeeding was worth it - but it’s not. I’m HYP (so I do things better than most people) and I didn’t breastfeed either of my kids. It’s genetics, ladies, and sticking a kid on your boob means nothing other than you have too much time on your hands.

Even if woman did breastfeed to feel superior, as you posit, how is that somehow less valid than flaunting your HYP status and assuming it means you do “things” better than most people. Aren’t you saying this to….feel superior?

ALSO - I went to Yale and I suck at dancing, all winter sports, acquiring new languages, remembering people’s birthdays, and many other things. And despite your graduation from a fancy college, you are bad at plenty of things too. Some of the areas in which you aren’t strong are self-reflection, humility, and nuanced communication.

Breastfeeding is worth it if you enjoy it, if you are at higher risk of breast cancer, if you find it helps you manage weight (and that’s a goal), if your baby struggles to tolerate formula, if you prefer sticking a baby on your boob to cleaning bottles, etc etc. It’s not worth it if you and your baby don’t get a net benefit physically or emotionally from the experience. We are all doing fine.