Anonymous
Post 07/01/2021 08:36     Subject: Be honest. Which of your kids is your favorite?
Anonymous wrote:I love my 6 year but the baby is so much easier right now.

I can't believe I used to think life would be easier when my child could dress herself or whatever. Lord it is not! Now every day there's an argument about what she's wearing or why she isn't getting dressed because she's busy reading a book or playing with her dolls.


Thank you for this. I thought it was just our six year old. He's still a joy though, and the two year old is no less opinionated and stubborn.

I do love them equally though.
Anonymous
Post 07/01/2021 07:29     Subject: Be honest. Which of your kids is your favorite?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no favorite. I love both of my daughters equally.


::coughbullcrrapcough::


Yeah, this. I love both my kids so much it hurts but right now, struggling a bit with the fact that one of them is just SO much easier.




Same, but I still love them equally.


One of the sibling rivalry books says this is a recipe for competition as they get older because everyone knows you can’t love anything different exactly the same. Different things or people or places get loved differently. The writer (siblings without rivalry maybe? Or that guy who wrote the family rules book
?) said to instead say “I love you both differently because you are different people.” It’s honest and stops the comparisons between kids.


If you are finding yourself having to answer this question something is already off in the dynamic that your child has picked up on, plying semantics won't change that. Your child stops asking because you have confirmed what they believ to be true.
Anonymous
Post 07/01/2021 07:19     Subject: Be honest. Which of your kids is your favorite?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Middle child. Oldest child has ASD and brings no joy to our lives. I love the youngest but she has a difficult temperament.


Do you also love your oldest?


No. Used to, but now only feel duty. There is no reciprocity and my child is violent.


This is horrible. I bet your child can feel that. It's your job as a parent to love your children unconditionally.


Until you have had a child like this keep your judgement to yourself. It is a horrible enough thing without your judgement piling on.

Signed, a mom who has spent time in the pediatric psychiatric emergency hold, on legal obligation due to my ASD child’s inability to function. At 7. I don’t have a favorite in my family but I am lucky that my ASD child is getting it together right now so I can bring the warm feelings. The pps post is a terrible situation for him/her and aggression is well established to damage parental bonds. I’m sending my thoughts to this parent.



+1. Signed, another mom with a violent, volatile, challenging beyond words SN child.



Why don't you give your child to someone who will love them. There are people out there who will do that.
Anonymous
Post 07/01/2021 07:17     Subject: Be honest. Which of your kids is your favorite?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no favorite. I love both of my daughters equally.


::coughbullcrrapcough::


Yeah, this. I love both my kids so much it hurts but right now, struggling a bit with the fact that one of them is just SO much easier.




Same, but I still love them equally.


One of the sibling rivalry books says this is a recipe for competition as they get older because everyone knows you can’t love anything different exactly the same. Different things or people or places get loved differently. The writer (siblings without rivalry maybe? Or that guy who wrote the family rules book
?) said to instead say “I love you both differently because you are different people.” It’s honest and stops the comparisons between kids.


Oh this is great. My kids haven’t said anything yet (they are 9 and 12) but I will remember it for the future .



Is it though? Because I can still see that being interpreted as you love X more, as pp and the writer pointed out kids aren't dumb.
Anonymous
Post 07/01/2021 07:07     Subject: Re:Be honest. Which of your kids is your favorite?
I was the least favorite child and still feel the pains from that today.

Two kids and love them both equally….I think. DD is still a baby so I can’t really judge until she gets a little older. But I know I am going to have to work hard to make sure my kids feel equally loved.

Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 16:07     Subject: Be honest. Which of your kids is your favorite?
I love my 6 year but the baby is so much easier right now.

I can't believe I used to think life would be easier when my child could dress herself or whatever. Lord it is not! Now every day there's an argument about what she's wearing or why she isn't getting dressed because she's busy reading a book or playing with her dolls.
Anonymous
Post 06/30/2021 12:55     Subject: Be honest. Which of your kids is your favorite?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have no favorite. I love both of my daughters equally.


::coughbullcrrapcough::


Yeah, this. I love both my kids so much it hurts but right now, struggling a bit with the fact that one of them is just SO much easier.




Same, but I still love them equally.


One of the sibling rivalry books says this is a recipe for competition as they get older because everyone knows you can’t love anything different exactly the same. Different things or people or places get loved differently. The writer (siblings without rivalry maybe? Or that guy who wrote the family rules book
?) said to instead say “I love you both differently because you are different people.” It’s honest and stops the comparisons between kids.


Oh this is great. My kids haven’t said anything yet (they are 9 and 12) but I will remember it for the future .