Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can definitely see how personal invitations to a select few, or certainly one-on-one, can lead to abuses of power, harassment, etc. But I think the "favoritism" charge and fear of unfair grading sort of has things backward. As someone who socialized quite a bit with professors in undergrad (rarely one-on-one) and yes, at YLS, most often the students who developed closer relationships with professors were the ones who ALREADY had excelled. I.e. they had already gotten a great grade(s), written a brilliant paper, were an honors student... that is how they got the research assistant or TA position in the first place. The instances of dim kids somehow finagling preferential treatment from professors were basically... nil.

I disagree with this. I was by far the best student in classes but an immigrant and just not interested in socializing with the faculty. There was a lot of small talk which I hate anyway but especially when I can’t a handle on it.

Anonymous wrote:I can definitely see how personal invitations to a select few, or certainly one-on-one, can lead to abuses of power, harassment, etc. But I think the "favoritism" charge and fear of unfair grading sort of has things backward. As someone who socialized quite a bit with professors in undergrad (rarely one-on-one) and yes, at YLS, most often the students who developed closer relationships with professors were the ones who ALREADY had excelled. I.e. they had already gotten a great grade(s), written a brilliant paper, were an honors student... that is how they got the research assistant or TA position in the first place. The instances of dim kids somehow finagling preferential treatment from professors were basically... nil.

Anonymous wrote:I can definitely see how personal invitations to a select few, or certainly one-on-one, can lead to abuses of power, harassment, etc. But I think the "favoritism" charge and fear of unfair grading sort of has things backward. As someone who socialized quite a bit with professors in undergrad (rarely one-on-one) and yes, at YLS, most often the students who developed closer relationships with professors were the ones who ALREADY had excelled. I.e. they had already gotten a great grade(s), written a brilliant paper, were an honors student... that is how they got the research assistant or TA position in the first place. The instances of dim kids somehow finagling preferential treatment from professors were basically... nil.

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Anonymous wrote:Bad bad bad idea to do it now!

Happens now quite frequently at privates. Schools no doubt have suggested rules. No one on one. Mix of girls and boys. Consider URM. Spouse needs to be there. No drinks unless all over 21.

Ha ha. I majored in Russian and we used to get hammered at department events, including dinners at professor's houses. And they used to come to our parties in the language dorm. One had a stocked bar in his office and seniors would do shots on Fridays. Other departments definitely had their own after-class traditions, some of which were more refined (but still included alcohol....the English and classics professors weren't going to NOT drink wine. Although, as I recall, the poli sci/econ profs were more into beer.)

Whats the point of going to a SLAC if you don't get the perks of a small school? Getting to know your professors, and interacting with them like an adult, is one of the reasons you go to a tiny school in the middle of nowhere.

And it’s shockingly inappropriate.
This entire thread is unreal to me.

It’s unreal to you that professors sometimes socialize with students? I feel like you’re the kind of person who wants to impose rigid rules on everyone because you’re deathly scared of losing any advantage. that really says more about your anxiety to squeeze out any possible advantave than them.

Colleges and universities are places where people learn and construct knowlege. Thinking and talking about their areas of study with other is literally how you do academics at a higher level.

Yes, it’s appalling inappropriate for professors to socialize with current students. Specifically when it’s exclusive - not the entire class being invited, but only the chosen few
The fact that the inappropriateness of this actually needs to be explained, and so many are defending this is bewildering.

You have a view I think that the purpose of college is to take classes and get grades so you want this wall --- like you would not want the judge who was best friends with opposing counsel. I get it. But college isn't that. It is growing and learning and these relationships are key to that process. It never has been this Civil Service Exam type system that you think it is. Can you go to college and never do this. Of course. I think your fairness point is overblown though. My room mate was a Russian major and sometimes people would come in from say Russia, Poland, or the Ukraine. I am pretty sure everyone who spoke Russian, Polish, Ukrainian, or even French was invited because that is what was spoken. I was never invited. It is often the top students. If you can be a top student you would get invited too. I was invited to things where I had a connection with the professor and my interest in what that professor did was well know. I actually can't see how that would help me. Indeed many of the times I was invited I had already finished my courses with that professor. Professors are not giving out As to people who come to dinner.

Guys we are talking about professors, employees of the school, showing favoritism to a few of their pets, while others are excluded. It’s just not professionally ethical. Who cares if it was common in the past? In case you haven’t noticed, views about what constitutes fair and appropriate behavior has been drastically changing. It seems to me that those who were lucky enough to to become the teacher’s pet can’t clearly view how inappropriate this is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is in part bizarre, in part awesome. So great to read about the many meaningful relationships some of you have/had with your advisors. But bizarre how many people don't understand how academia works. Where do you think professors come from? They are commonly the ones who started working/socializing with professors as undergrads. Training a young person to become an academic is a decade or longer process, often starting in undergrad. Academia is about interaction, discussion, close collaboration. Sometimes in the lab, but often the best research advances are born over beers or dinners among a small group of people discussing an idea.

Curious, do those of you clutching your pearls understand what professors actually do? Teaching undergraduates in classroom settings is about 10% of the job for those of us at research universities. Mentoring future academics is a substantially larger fraction of our job.

When the "me too" movement finally hits academia hard you will get why this is so inappropriate. People abuse power all.the.time in academia-often white males, but now plenty of women too. The more you loosen boundaries and add alcohol, the worse it can get.

Anonymous wrote:In the Sciences - very common. Many social events, mostly in professors’ homes. Everyone is invited- spouses, children, etc. Now we do it in parks b/c COVID but Professors are officially hosting, working the grill, sending the invitations, etc.

Very common around holidays as well, to host all students who are not able to make it back home for the holiday feast, or to treat foreign students to our traditions. We typically have a houseful on thanksgiving.

Yes, at an ivy.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is in part bizarre, in part awesome. So great to read about the many meaningful relationships some of you have/had with your advisors. But bizarre how many people don't understand how academia works. Where do you think professors come from? They are commonly the ones who started working/socializing with professors as undergrads. Training a young person to become an academic is a decade or longer process, often starting in undergrad. Academia is about interaction, discussion, close collaboration. Sometimes in the lab, but often the best research advances are born over beers or dinners among a small group of people discussing an idea.

Curious, do those of you clutching your pearls understand what professors actually do? Teaching undergraduates in classroom settings is about 10% of the job for those of us at research universities. Mentoring future academics is a substantially larger fraction of our job.

Anonymous wrote:Students are over 18 and well beyond the age of consent. There is nothing wrong with it - particularly in grad school.