Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was divorced from age 35 to 45, raising a daughter by myself. I dated frequently. Here are some of my observation.

Many women felt sorry for me having to raise my daughter. Funny, I always felt blessed that I had the opportunity.

Many women envisioned themselves as a replacement mother. Thank you, but no thank you. My daughter has a mother.

It was obvious that many wanted to be married, but did not want to be a wife, companion, friend, and soul mate.

Many women wanted be the victim-- clearly no insight that their attitudes had a lot to do with the breakup of their marriage or explained why they were single.

Many women wanted a meal ticket.

Many women had so much baggage that they needed a UHaul trailer.

All that being said, I dated many lovey women 28-50. The ones I enjoyed the most were content and happy with themselves, accomplished, self reliant, adventuresome, and just seemed to enjoy the moment. Finally found for one the moments turned into years + we have 2 boys of our marriage

Very sweet.

I guess, but a do over family BEGINNING at age 45 is my version of hell.

OMG. YES! Our neighbor had 3 kids in college, 1 in HS and was 50. He knocked up his 40-something AP with twins and is starting all OVER again. I actually chuckled with his ex-wife. That is punishment right there. Holy f*ck I love being a mother, but at my age if someone said back to newborn, preschool, etc, etc., when I'm getting ready to live footloose and fancy free at empty stage...shoot me right then and there.

2 am bottles at 50 sounds like the definition of misery. Dad will be 60 when the kids want bike around then neighborhood and a senior citizen when he's teaching them how to drive

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was divorced from age 35 to 45, raising a daughter by myself. I dated frequently. Here are some of my observation.

Many women felt sorry for me having to raise my daughter. Funny, I always felt blessed that I had the opportunity.

Many women envisioned themselves as a replacement mother. Thank you, but no thank you. My daughter has a mother.

It was obvious that many wanted to be married, but did not want to be a wife, companion, friend, and soul mate.

Many women wanted be the victim-- clearly no insight that their attitudes had a lot to do with the breakup of their marriage or explained why they were single.

Many women wanted a meal ticket.

Many women had so much baggage that they needed a UHaul trailer.

All that being said, I dated many lovey women 28-50. The ones I enjoyed the most were content and happy with themselves, accomplished, self reliant, adventuresome, and just seemed to enjoy the moment. Finally found for one the moments turned into years + we have 2 boys of our marriage

Very sweet.

I guess, but a do over family BEGINNING at age 45 is my version of hell.

OMG. YES! Our neighbor had 3 kids in college, 1 in HS and was 50. He knocked up his 40-something AP with twins and is starting all OVER again. I actually chuckled with his ex-wife. That is punishment right there. Holy f*ck I love being a mother, but at my age if someone said back to newborn, preschool, etc, etc., when I'm getting ready to live footloose and fancy free at empty stage...shoot me right then and there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was divorced from age 35 to 45, raising a daughter by myself. I dated frequently. Here are some of my observation.

Many women felt sorry for me having to raise my daughter. Funny, I always felt blessed that I had the opportunity.

Many women envisioned themselves as a replacement mother. Thank you, but no thank you. My daughter has a mother.

It was obvious that many wanted to be married, but did not want to be a wife, companion, friend, and soul mate.

Many women wanted be the victim-- clearly no insight that their attitudes had a lot to do with the breakup of their marriage or explained why they were single.

Many women wanted a meal ticket.

Many women had so much baggage that they needed a UHaul trailer.

All that being said, I dated many lovey women 28-50. The ones I enjoyed the most were content and happy with themselves, accomplished, self reliant, adventuresome, and just seemed to enjoy the moment. Finally found for one the moments turned into years + we have 2 boys of our marriage

Very sweet.

I guess, but a do over family BEGINNING at age 45 is my version of hell.

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to sound really hippy-dippy but you're going to get whatever you put out there. If you go into it being a grouch and thinking there are no eligible men who meet some checklist, you're going to find (what you perceive to be) scraps of the dating pool. If you build a happy, fulfilling life alone and are grateful for what you have, it's easier to meet someone organically who fits into what you've already built and enhances the good that's already there. Date yourself for a while.

Agreed

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no need for you to give up. And the right person can help you overcome every struggle. And if you don't have such person besides you then live would be much more difficult for you. If you want to change that then I would recommend you to learn more about cairns singles. It's one of my favorite dating platforms. Just the review about it if you are interested.

You shouldn’t rely on anyone else to overcome personal struggles. That’s something you need to learn to do yourself. You can never truly be healthy/happy if you depend on someone else for that.

That’s what women/men that chase new relationship energy do. They think life will be better with a different person, a new house, a new location. Never works. Their same misery eventually shows up. Until they fix their inside, they will never find true peace, love and happiness.

Now you tell me

I don't want to sound really hippy-dippy but you're going to get whatever you put out there. If you go into it being a grouch and thinking there are no eligible men who meet some checklist, you're going to find (what you perceive to be) scraps of the dating pool. If you build a happy, fulfilling life alone and are grateful for what you have, it's easier to meet someone organically who fits into what you've already built and enhances the good that's already there. Date yourself for a while.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one reason I won't get divorced until I am fully prepared to live the rest of my life alon

Jesus. Sad.

Seriously.

Look, I agree with OP that there aren't a ton of marriageable men out there. I never thought that there were, even in my supposed "prime". I've dated a lot over the past twenty-five years. I've met some awful men, a lot of okay men, and some truly great men. (I guarantee that of all of these men, some thought I was great, some thought I was awful, and many thought I was okay). I never married. (I'm forty-six now). All that said, everyone has to be fully prepared to live life on their own, whether they're alone or not. The absolute biggest turnoff, even when I was in my twenties and early thirties, was meeting a man who I knew on date one would propose to whoever he dated for a year or so, because he just really really wanted to get married. I feel immensely sorry for people who cannot be alone. I'm not opposed to marriage. I think love is wonderful. But people simply cannot expect to have healthy relationships if they CANNOT be alone. I'll admit that I'd prefer to be in a healthy, happy relationship than single, but I much prefer being single to being in a bad relationship, and so many people seem to be in bad relationships because they cannot bear the thought of life by themselves.

Anonymous wrote:I was divorced from age 35 to 45, raising a daughter by myself. I dated frequently. Here are some of my observation.

Many women felt sorry for me having to raise my daughter. Funny, I always felt blessed that I had the opportunity.

Many women envisioned themselves as a replacement mother. Thank you, but no thank you. My daughter has a mother.

It was obvious that many wanted to be married, but did not want to be a wife, companion, friend, and soul mate.

Many women wanted be the victim-- clearly no insight that their attitudes had a lot to do with the breakup of their marriage or explained why they were single.

Many women wanted a meal ticket.

Many women had so much baggage that they needed a UHaul trailer.

All that being said, I dated many lovey women 28-50. The ones I enjoyed the most were content and happy with themselves, accomplished, self reliant, adventuresome, and just seemed to enjoy the moment. Finally found for one the moments turned into years + we have 2 boys of our marriage

Very sweet.

I was divorced from age 35 to 45, raising a daughter by myself. I dated frequently. Here are some of my observation.

Many women felt sorry for me having to raise my daughter. Funny, I always felt blessed that I had the opportunity.

Many women envisioned themselves as a replacement mother. Thank you, but no thank you. My daughter has a mother.

It was obvious that many wanted to be married, but did not want to be a wife, companion, friend, and soul mate.

Many women wanted be the victim-- clearly no insight that their attitudes had a lot to do with the breakup of their marriage or explained why they were single.

Many women wanted a meal ticket.

Many women had so much baggage that they needed a UHaul trailer.

All that being said, I dated many lovey women 28-50. The ones I enjoyed the most were content and happy with themselves, accomplished, self reliant, adventuresome, and just seemed to enjoy the moment. Finally found for one the moments turned into years + we have 2 boys of our marriage

Hey OP, what neighborhood? You seem like a good match

Anonymous wrote:I am really sad about the tiny chances of partnering up with a cultured, emphatic man in my age group who is not tangled in some energy-draining co-parenting situation. In my opinion/experience, all good men between 40 and 55 are taken. Those who have never married have issues. Those who get divorced have issues (certainly including me).

There really is a reason why most marriages take place between the ages of 25 and 30, when both genders are at the peak of their physical beauty.

FWIW, I am successful, in shape and take care of myself. I have an 11 year-old.

I am just very disheartened at the thought that the ship sailed for me 20 years ago. I find the whole idea of online dating repulsive - it is like a meat market out there.

OK, listen. Get yourself a detachable showerhead, some good toys, and a dog for the companionship. Have more conversations/hangouts/whatever with your platonic friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no need for you to give up. And the right person can help you overcome every struggle. And if you don't have such person besides you then live would be much more difficult for you. If you want to change that then I would recommend you to learn more about cairns singles. It's one of my favorite dating platforms. Just the review about it if you are interested.

You shouldn’t rely on anyone else to overcome personal struggles. That’s something you need to learn to do yourself. You can never truly be healthy/happy if you depend on someone else for that.

That’s what women/men that chase new relationship energy do. They think life will be better with a different person, a new house, a new location. Never works. Their same misery eventually shows up. Until they fix their inside, they will never find true peace, love and happiness.

Anonymous wrote:There is no need for you to give up. And the right person can help you overcome every struggle. And if you don't have such person besides you then live would be much more difficult for you. If you want to change that then I would recommend you to learn more about cairns singles. It's one of my favorite dating platforms. Just the review about it if you are interested.

You shouldn’t rely on anyone else to overcome personal struggles. That’s something you need to learn to do yourself. You can never truly be healthy/happy if you depend on someone else for that.

Anonymous wrote:This is one reason I won't get divorced until I am fully prepared to live the rest of my life alon

Jesus. Sad.

There is no need for you to give up. And the right person can help you overcome every struggle. And if you don't have such person besides you then live would be much more difficult for you. If you want to change that then I would recommend you to learn more about cairns singles. It's one of my favorite dating platforms. Just the review about it if you are interested.