Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

But do you want to chat with people in the high $ party you are going that you spent 4 years of your youth at Harvard or you went to Podunk University?

What kinds of parties do you go to where people ask that??

I haven’t been asked about college in years. I’m in my 40s.

seriously. if i'm at a party and someone asks me where i went to college, i'll know something has gone very, very wrong. so boring.

Actually, it has been my experience that most people who went to Ivy league schools find a way to bring it up in every conversation. My friends and I joke about it all the time.

You are going to boring parties.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

But do you want to chat with people in the high $ party you are going that you spent 4 years of your youth at Harvard or you went to Podunk University?

What kinds of parties do you go to where people ask that??

I haven’t been asked about college in years. I’m in my 40s.

seriously. if i'm at a party and someone asks me where i went to college, i'll know something has gone very, very wrong. so boring.

Actually, it has been my experience that most people who went to Ivy league schools find a way to bring it up in every conversation. My friends and I joke about it all the time.

Anonymous wrote:i also agree that attending an "elite" school is in no way required for success. Our choice in sending out child to a top 10ish full pay SLAC had more to do with the idea that these 4 years are a bridge between living at home and being an independent adult. This school has a particular philosophy that meshes with values we've tried to instill as parents. This was also our child's first choice among the options (probably because of the prestige more than the philosophy). It is a supportive, small environment. We could afford it because we've had 529 plans for many years, and live in a modest house and my spouse doesn't spend any $$ (made easier because the pandemic curtailed MY spending.). So far no regrets, although when the request for help paying for grad school comes along, I think we'll point out that we've already paid enough!

Anonymous wrote:Elite colleges are overrated! We live in Montgomery County. We are surrounded by neighbors who went to Ivy Leagues, HYP, Duke , etc. None of them are any different from those who didn’t go to fancy colleges. Their lifestyle is not any better than other neighbors who went to state schools or no name schools. They work at the same places, go to the same restaurants, shop at the same stores. There is no difference. Plus there isn’t anything remotely impressive about the neighbors who went to fancy schools. Stop this nonsense about elitism and grow up!

Anonymous wrote:It is true. There are some schools that are elite enough that you can use that brand to your advantage when you leave (Harvard) but the reality is, all those rigorous application processes do is allow the schools to discriminate in favor of the genteel, inbred elites, while letting a few plebeians in who know their place: to increase test scores, to feel inferior to the rich kids, and, to one day be the brainpower behind (but never the leadership of) major institutions in this country.

. I know, I know, you will say, but look at Mr. Free Lunch Program, he is a CEO. But the dirty secret of these universities is he would have been just as successful at a state u as an elite one, because that kind of drive is unstoppable. He used them and they used him to keep the myth alive that elite Universities are worth it for the kind of people who need to take out college loans.

Remeber that for the supperrich, of course, it matters not a bit where they send their kids. Will Blue Ivy be any less powerful if she attends Stanford vs Hamilton?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP we totally feel you. I made a post earlier on this forum about my kid at a T10 school not doing very well in his classes or getting involved in extracurriculars and research because he stopped hitting the gas pedal once he got to college. He just received his last rejection from the dozens of summer internships he applied to and it looks like he'll have to work a retail or camp counselor job this summer. Super disappointing.

Moral of the story: If you're full pay at an Ivy but making huge financial sacrifices to pay for it like us (DH and I moved halfway across the country to a much lower COL area where we rent a crappy two-bedroom apartment while renting our house back in our old state for extra money), it's probably not worth it. And make sure your kid is organized and motivated enough to take advantage of all their school has to offer. Ours got a lot lazier after coming to his elite college and it's been a pretty big embarrassment ever since.

How sad for your child, who undoubtedly worked extremely hard to get into an Ivy, that you now consider him a "lazy, embarassment."

Your financial sacrifices have ZERO value in the face of those attitudes.

He would be better off at a community college, blessed with loving, supportive parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP we totally feel you. I made a post earlier on this forum about my kid at a T10 school not doing very well in his classes or getting involved in extracurriculars and research because he stopped hitting the gas pedal once he got to college. He just received his last rejection from the dozens of summer internships he applied to and it looks like he'll have to work a retail or camp counselor job this summer. Super disappointing.

Moral of the story: If you're full pay at an Ivy but making huge financial sacrifices to pay for it like us (DH and I moved halfway across the country to a much lower COL area where we rent a crappy two-bedroom apartment while renting our house back in our old state for extra money), it's probably not worth it. And make sure your kid is organized and motivated enough to take advantage of all their school has to offer. Ours got a lot lazier after coming to his elite college and it's been a pretty big embarrassment ever since.

How sad for your child, who undoubtedly worked extremely hard to get into an Ivy, that you now consider him a "lazy, embarassment."

Your financial sacrifices have ZERO value in the face of those attitudes.

He would be better off at a community college, blessed with loving, supportive parents.

Anonymous wrote:OP we totally feel you. I made a post earlier on this forum about my kid at a T10 school not doing very well in his classes or getting involved in extracurriculars and research because he stopped hitting the gas pedal once he got to college. He just received his last rejection from the dozens of summer internships he applied to and it looks like he'll have to work a retail or camp counselor job this summer. Super disappointing.

Moral of the story: If you're full pay at an Ivy but making huge financial sacrifices to pay for it like us (DH and I moved halfway across the country to a much lower COL area where we rent a crappy two-bedroom apartment while renting our house back in our old state for extra money), it's probably not worth it. And make sure your kid is organized and motivated enough to take advantage of all their school has to offer. Ours got a lot lazier after coming to his elite college and it's been a pretty big embarrassment ever since.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

Money isn’t everything.

I don’t think anyone is saying that money = success. It’s more about prestige of institutions. Ie do you work for a FAANG or Goldman Sachs, etc.

So whats the difference then? Some people think money defines success and you think success means working FOR a fancy company? Shallow people are shallow. Did you ever work for Goldman Sachs or any such company? Do you know what the burn out rate of the young grads who work there is? Why would you want that for your kid? Why would you put your kids in a rate race knowingly?? There is no end to this cycle? Fancy college->fancy company-> promotions->partner etc etc.. it does'nt end.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP we totally feel you. I made a post earlier on this forum about my kid at a T10 school not doing very well in his classes or getting involved in extracurriculars and research because he stopped hitting the gas pedal once he got to college. He just received his last rejection from the dozens of summer internships he applied to and it looks like he'll have to work a retail or camp counselor job this summer. Super disappointing.

Moral of the story: If you're full pay at an Ivy but making huge financial sacrifices to pay for it like us (DH and I moved halfway across the country to a much lower COL area where we rent a crappy two-bedroom apartment while renting our house back in our old state for extra money), it's probably not worth it. And make sure your kid is organized and motivated enough to take advantage of all their school has to offer. Ours got a lot lazier after coming to his elite college and it's been a pretty big embarrassment ever since.

Is your son actually ok? I was suffering from a lot of depression and anxiety in college and my parents told me and everyone in our family that I was "lazy" and "intimidated."

Anonymous wrote:OP we totally feel you. I made a post earlier on this forum about my kid at a T10 school not doing very well in his classes or getting involved in extracurriculars and research because he stopped hitting the gas pedal once he got to college. He just received his last rejection from the dozens of summer internships he applied to and it looks like he'll have to work a retail or camp counselor job this summer. Super disappointing.

Moral of the story: If you're full pay at an Ivy but making huge financial sacrifices to pay for it like us (DH and I moved halfway across the country to a much lower COL area where we rent a crappy two-bedroom apartment while renting our house back in our old state for extra money), it's probably not worth it. And make sure your kid is organized and motivated enough to take advantage of all their school has to offer. Ours got a lot lazier after coming to his elite college and it's been a pretty big embarrassment ever since.

Anonymous wrote:OP we totally feel you. I made a post earlier on this forum about my kid at a T10 school not doing very well in his classes or getting involved in extracurriculars and research because he stopped hitting the gas pedal once he got to college. He just received his last rejection from the dozens of summer internships he applied to and it looks like he'll have to work a retail or camp counselor job this summer. Super disappointing.

Moral of the story: If you're full pay at an Ivy but making huge financial sacrifices to pay for it like us (DH and I moved halfway across the country to a much lower COL area where we rent a crappy two-bedroom apartment while renting our house back in our old state for extra money), it's probably not worth it. And make sure your kid is organized and motivated enough to take advantage of all their school has to offer. Ours got a lot lazier after coming to his elite college and it's been a pretty big embarrassment ever since.