If I knew we were eating out so much and the extras he got were adding up, then I would pick up cheaper appetizer options, salad stuff and desserts when grocery shopping. The two of them can prep the salad etc. while you are ordering the entrees.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps he’s never had to limit himself to just an entree at other people’s homes. We often get takeout when someone stays for dinner on a weeknight and it is perfectly fine with us if they order an appetizer and dessert.

Same. We had a kid order $75 worth of sushi once, and we just laughed. OP is ordering from Chick Fil A and bitching about one extra sandwich. Disgusting of her.

I mean. Calm down. I’m not complaining TO HIM or her or anyone else. I’ll never understand people who are like “YOU’RE SO RUDE”. Rude to whom? So stupid. Anyway I had no idea everyone ordered so much damn Chick-fil-A. I can’t get through one meal let alone order another sandwich. But ok fine it’s not too expensive. What prompted this post was the appetizer and dessert-I mean geez I can’t even afford to order these items for myself. If we get dessert at restaurants we share it for the table. Do you guys really order dessert when someone else is buying? And appetizers too?
E

Yes, we do get appetizers and desserts with takeout, but the point here is you are saying you can’t afford it. Tell the daughter and the BF you are on a tight budget and give them parameters for the next time you order take out. Sorry Joe, but tonight we are only ordering 1 entree for each person. We are not getting appetizers or dessert. Don’t stew and get angry - tell them!

Anonymous wrote:This thread is showing me that some apps have no manners and are actually teaching their kids to have no manners and are proud of it!

The valuable lesson I teach my children that OP apparently never learned is: when there is a problem, address it clearly, kindly and directly. Don't let resentment turn you into a petty gossip.

I'd rather be around someone who cluelessly orders an extra Cruncharito than someone like OP, who ignores the easy and direct route to harmony, and instead turns bitchy and calls others to criticize a rather harmless kid.

Definitely stay away from Cheesecake Factory then. My gosh, he could order cheesecake for dessert!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s not being rude. He’s ordering what is a meal for him. I have two college aged boys and trust me, he is not ordering too much. Also, how is he supposed to know that cost is an issue if you or your daughter don’t tell the boy? Tell him things are tight right now - ask if he could chip in or tell him that you are only ordering entrees tonight. He can’t read your mind!

As a parent, you teach them these things. You tell your college kids if they are with another family, they order ONE meal, not two. They are only allowed to order two meals with your family. I tell mine all the time that its ok we do this or that in our home but in someone else's home you need to ask or it may be different. I would buy your kid two meals but I wouldn't be quick to offer again or invite them again.

I don’t think a 20 year old boy ordering two CFA sandwiches is rude or over the top. The extra sandwich is $4.99. He’s not ordering 2 lobster dinners!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps he’s never had to limit himself to just an entree at other people’s homes. We often get takeout when someone stays for dinner on a weeknight and it is perfectly fine with us if they order an appetizer and dessert.

Same. We had a kid order $75 worth of sushi once, and we just laughed. OP is ordering from Chick Fil A and bitching about one extra sandwich. Disgusting of her.

I mean. Calm down. I’m not complaining TO HIM or her or anyone else. I’ll never understand people who are like “YOU’RE SO RUDE”. Rude to whom? So stupid. Anyway I had no idea everyone ordered so much damn Chick-fil-A. I can’t get through one meal let alone order another sandwich. But ok fine it’s not too expensive. What prompted this post was the appetizer and dessert-I mean geez I can’t even afford to order these items for myself. If we get dessert at restaurants we share it for the table. Do you guys really order dessert when someone else is buying? And appetizers too?
E

l

NP. Here's how you are rude: easy solutions are available to you (stop ordering food so much; when you do order, set some parameters---you've been literally given scripts.) so you have your solution...

But you don't want a solution. You want to gossip. Gossip is rude.

Gasp! Gossip is rude! Don't you KNOW? Weren't you RAISED RIGHT? Gossip is rude, and the fact that you don't get that...IS THAT NORMAL?

See, all the same criticisms you can lob at your guest for being rude and clueless about food, we can lob at you about gossip.

Grow up. And stop ordering so much Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. Gross!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

If you're already getting the party pack asking for a specific burrito in it is reasonable, and I think a normal Taco Bell order is a few items so asking for two burritos is very normal. The most expensive burrito at Taco Bell isn't even $4. This is incredibly normal.

If you think your boyfriend's behavior is normal, you are incredibly trashy and rude. You will never grasp what manners are and what proper social norms are.

You not to have read what I wrote (or, indeed, have read what you wrote since you called him my boyfriend). I said that ordering that much Taco Bell is normal. They're small burritos and two or three is a full meal.

As to the manners question: I'll raise my child not to order the most expensive item or significantly more food than her hosts without a clear signal that she should. That said, the most important manners are those of the host, not the guest. The duty of hospitality to guests is one of the oldest "manners" that exists and OP isn't living up to it.

I grew up without a ton of money, but we had class and would never think of leaving a guest hungry. If you can't offer a guest a full meal through takeout, cook. We never have a guest without at least dinner and dessert, which means we cook more than we order, but it also means we're not being rude.

All of the men in my life do this when we order takeout - DH, my father, our babysitter - I’ve never thought anything of it. They are just hungry and want what they want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

If you're already getting the party pack asking for a specific burrito in it is reasonable, and I think a normal Taco Bell order is a few items so asking for two burritos is very normal. The most expensive burrito at Taco Bell isn't even $4. This is incredibly normal.

I had to look these up. A Party Pack has 12 items in it, tacos and/or burritos, from 170 to 210 calories each. Is OP expecting to feed the entire family and the boyfriend with a single Party Pack? Even if the boyfriend eats a quarter of the party pack, should a 20-year old be full on 600 calories? That seems unreasonable to me.

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

Now you’re changing your story because you didn’t like the responses you were getting here. And even in this one, your daughter started it and she’s the one who started with all the extras - and you said yes - so he just saw that the order was open and asked for something else that I’m sure he ate. I only ever ate at Taco Bell once and got sick, but I don’t remember the menu items being huge or expensive. Young guys just eat. My son is only 14 and is a skinny bottomless pit. If we’re ordering in and he asks for too much, I also would just say “no, if you’re hungry later have some cereal”. I usually order extra of takeout for another meal, but I have learned to say “don’t eat the extra fried rice in the fridge because that’s for another meal”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very rude!

See, I think it's horribly rude to treat guests like this. No manners at all, it's not like he's ordering Beluga and Far Niente. In my culture, we don't ration the food for guests. No wonder wasps are so uptight and miserable. The young gentleman should also take the family out to eat, or bring flowers, wine, a nice gift for the host.

Which culture is this that takes individual restaurant orders for every single member of the family? The glutton culture?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do have an instant pot and use it frequently! I already try and manage the issue by avoiding doing take out when he is over. My issue isn’t how to manage it. My issue is- it seems rude and he’s clueless about it!

So what exactly do you want people on this site to do? You're not looking for suggestions and you're not looking to figure out of it's rude, because you're already convinced it is. If you're looking for a resounding chorus of people telling you how rude he is, you're not going to get it, because, to a lot of us, complaining about a kid ordering two chicken sandwiches seems a lot more rude.

She is asking a question, which you are, in a typical dcum fashion, not answering but are instead engaging in an attack on her cooking and her diet. The kid is rude, the end. OP is probably ordering bcs he si there, to be a nice host to HIM, knowing how much he eats. She even said so, one night per week she doesn't feel like cooking and cleaning.

Anonymous wrote:We do cook. DH cooks a lot from scratch but we don’t cook 7x per week. And sometimes if we are having leftovers or “fend for yourself” nights he is at our house and I don’t feel cooking so we order bc there’s not really enough leftovers to serve an extra person.

There is nothing wrong with ordering in. Disregard the nasty, no sugar, keto only, not even fried anything shrews here. They are the ones without manners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

What is he ordering, the Meat Lover’s pizza? My question to you is: are they finishing most of the food or are they over-ordering? If the latter, I would set a boundary. If the former, I would let them order what they need to feel full but order from a less expensive restaurant.

Wow, you all order out a lot and your DD's boyfriend spends a lot of time at your house during a pandemic. But, I think it is reasonable to know whether he actually finishes the food. A couple of my kids eat so much food that it is unbelievable.

Like PP and others have said, you have to set boundaries. We rarely order out - I think during this entire pandemic, it's been three times. But, when we do, I always tell everyone in advance what we are getting - like how many entrees, appetizers, pizzas, etc. and then everyone has to reach agreement so that we can all share. I think it would be kind of hard to start to share at this point since that's not what your family does. But you can certainly limit the amount of the order if they are not eating everything. And, if they are eating everything, then you can still limit, but make sure you have other food around for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m conceding on the Chick-fil-A.

Here’s another example. DH texts and says he’s ordering pizza and what would we like. I say I’ll share DS’s cheese pizza. DD and her bf each order their own. Ok fine (I’m thinking why can’t they share but ok). The bf chooses the most expensive pizza. DD says can we also get xx appetizer and cinnamon pull apartment. I’m thinking ok that’s fine we will share that. And then the bf chimes in and requests ANOTHER appetizer on top of what DD has requested.

Ok and here’s a Taco Bell order: “1 beefy fritos burrito and 1 shredded chicken burrito please, Also, can we do the party pack with the 5 layer burritos in the mix instead of the bean burritos”

I mean, is this really normal?

If you're already getting the party pack asking for a specific burrito in it is reasonable, and I think a normal Taco Bell order is a few items so asking for two burritos is very normal. The most expensive burrito at Taco Bell isn't even $4. This is incredibly normal.

If you think your boyfriend's behavior is normal, you are incredibly trashy and rude. You will never grasp what manners are and what proper social norms are.