Ford
Brooks
You live a life of contradiction: You congratulate yourself regularly on your children's names, though on social media they are known only as "Mr. F" and "Sir B" because you want to respect their privacy while also posting a dozen photos of them most weeks. You think you are out of your husband's league and he's lucky to have such a hot wife, and still can't understand why he slept with his coworker. You pride yourself on being a good friend, but have a gossip habit you can't quite break.