Growing up we always had a package of Oreos and chips at home. We were allowed a max of 2 Oreos but were never denied. We had chips at lunch. My brothers and I all grew up being able to have lots of self control around junk food and we're all still thin in our 40s. Don't deny or romanticize the stuff and it becomes NBD.

I think there is a connection between liking healthy food and parents cooking at home.
I know that I like what I am used to, which was grandma's cooking. I recall DS, who is great at self-regulating, telling me one week when I ordered food due to being busy, that he is not going to eat this fast food and take out and started criticizing me for not cooking!
The gall of the teen!

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed by these tweens/teens who apparently can self-regulate. Mine would blow through the snacks, meant for a week-10 days, in a day or two.*

We do have mostly healthy stuff, but I also buy snacky, not healthy stuff meant for a once/day treat. A bag of chips with lunch, for example. I could just say, ok, well, if you eat it then it's gone, but I've got two kids, and one would eat mostly everything junky very quickly and the other would complain.

*Honestly, their dad does the same thing, and it irritates me to no end. I have to tell him explicitly - these are for the kids' lunches, DON'T EAT THEM! Because of course, he doesn't replace or tell me when the snack bag is low, so I'm running around trying to find a replacement because I have one bag of chips and both kids want them --> bickering.

OP, I tell my kids they can have fruit whenever they want, they can make a sandwich whenever they want so long as they are done eating by 4 pm (hate cooking when people just ate two sandwiches). But other than that, snacks require permission.

So, I'm a parent whose kids do a decent job of self regulating, I think, but that doesn't mean that they eat the food the way I think it should be eaten. If I had snack bags of chips, and I hadn't declared them off limits for a specific purpose, then they'd eat them on the first day or two, and then make do with other things. They wouldn't be replaced, until I was at the store anyway. That's kind of how they learned.

If I bought something in a limited quantity that was specifically for lunches, then i'd label that as for lunches, but my kids were packing their own lunches pretty early. If my kids were fighting over a bag of chips, I'd probably eat them myself, and then let them know they needed a new plan before I bought more. I can absolutely see my kids labeling each bag of chips with a sharpie, or something for a while, and then one kid eating them on day one and watching his brother's chips last. And then he'd learn to self regulate, whether by eating his over time, or by being OK with them being out.

Having said that, my kids pack their own lunches. I give them guidance and provide options, but they make the decisions and assemble. So, if something ran out, they'd need to problem solve.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed by these tweens/teens who apparently can self-regulate. Mine would blow through the snacks, meant for a week-10 days, in a day or two.*

We do have mostly healthy stuff, but I also buy snacky, not healthy stuff meant for a once/day treat. A bag of chips with lunch, for example. I could just say, ok, well, if you eat it then it's gone, but I've got two kids, and one would eat mostly everything junky very quickly and the other would complain.

*Honestly, their dad does the same thing, and it irritates me to no end. I have to tell him explicitly - these are for the kids' lunches, DON'T EAT THEM! Because of course, he doesn't replace or tell me when the snack bag is low, so I'm running around trying to find a replacement because I have one bag of chips and both kids want them --> bickering.

OP, I tell my kids they can have fruit whenever they want, they can make a sandwich whenever they want so long as they are done eating by 4 pm (hate cooking when people just ate two sandwiches). But other than that, snacks require permission.

I’m one of the parents who lets their kids eat whatever they want, and as somebody whose stepmom had major food hangups (she was obese) and limited us to a bowl of cereal a day and put literal locks on lunch snack foods, I grew up really resenting restrictions. My kids blow through lunch snack stuff too but I just let it go because I don’t want the impacts of food restrictions in the house. When it comes to one of my kids eating the other kid’s snacks, I do have to put my foot down there.

I’m not saying you’ll give your kids hangups, I’m just saying that when I say we don’t have food restrictions, it’s not like my kids are immune to the temptations of easily accessible junk food.

Step mom here.

Do you know how difficult it is for a kid who has grown up without any food restrictions to self regulate? SS17 is a disaster, because his mother has ZERO self control and never modeled it. If a bag/box of "treats" - pretzels, chips, fruit snacks, crackers, cookies what have you (read: sugar/fat/carbs) is available he will mow them down. Mindlessly. Fruit? Forget about it. Anything that requires effort? Forget about it.

DH and I have tried - to absolutely no avail - to manage this, but the bed was made a long time ago and the kid understandably is resistant to changing. We get NO support from his mother to try to manage change. And now that he is working and has his own money, it's a thousand times worse. He eats nothing but junk. It's horrible to witness, frankly.

OP, I appreciate you trying to steer your kids towards balanced choices.

Ha! Likely he is overeating to due to emotional strife cause by YOU, stepmonster.

I am female, so maybe it's different, but at age 10 I started having some cooking responsibilities.

You are the parent who provides what is available. If they eat all the cookies on Monday, then there are none for the rest of the week. Too bad. you can also provide carrots and ranch dressing (do not make it for them, they can get it themselves) or crackers and cheese or whatever.

I have MANY siblings so from that I can tell you with three it might be tougher than with one. It might be worth it to post a weekly meals menu and an "available snacks" list. When the snacks are all crossed off, you get new ones. You may have to make rules about the older kids ensuring that the younger ones get some of the "good" snacks. Alternately make 3 snack bins with "special" snacks for each child. Also, we didn't get store bought cookies. We did get ingredients to make them. So if we wanted sweets, we had to make them. Hang on to that idea for when yours are a bit older. My ability to bake and cook definitely helped me out in college and have served life-long. Plus, lots of fun times testing recipes and baking with siblings.

Anonymous wrote:Are there people who eat dessert after dinner every night? This is fascinating.

We do. I grew up doing that. My husband did not. But yet, we all do now. We and our kids are very active, athletic, and eat healthy meals. So our dessert is our treat for the day. None of us eat sweets during the day. It's not restricted, we just don' tend to do that. We gravitate instead toward things like nuts, grapefruits, and sometimes "cheesy tortillas."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm impressed by these tweens/teens who apparently can self-regulate. Mine would blow through the snacks, meant for a week-10 days, in a day or two.*

We do have mostly healthy stuff, but I also buy snacky, not healthy stuff meant for a once/day treat. A bag of chips with lunch, for example. I could just say, ok, well, if you eat it then it's gone, but I've got two kids, and one would eat mostly everything junky very quickly and the other would complain.

*Honestly, their dad does the same thing, and it irritates me to no end. I have to tell him explicitly - these are for the kids' lunches, DON'T EAT THEM! Because of course, he doesn't replace or tell me when the snack bag is low, so I'm running around trying to find a replacement because I have one bag of chips and both kids want them --> bickering.

OP, I tell my kids they can have fruit whenever they want, they can make a sandwich whenever they want so long as they are done eating by 4 pm (hate cooking when people just ate two sandwiches). But other than that, snacks require permission.

I’m one of the parents who lets their kids eat whatever they want, and as somebody whose stepmom had major food hangups (she was obese) and limited us to a bowl of cereal a day and put literal locks on lunch snack foods, I grew up really resenting restrictions. My kids blow through lunch snack stuff too but I just let it go because I don’t want the impacts of food restrictions in the house. When it comes to one of my kids eating the other kid’s snacks, I do have to put my foot down there.

I’m not saying you’ll give your kids hangups, I’m just saying that when I say we don’t have food restrictions, it’s not like my kids are immune to the temptations of easily accessible junk food.

Step mom here.

Do you know how difficult it is for a kid who has grown up without any food restrictions to self regulate? SS17 is a disaster, because his mother has ZERO self control and never modeled it. If a bag/box of "treats" - pretzels, chips, fruit snacks, crackers, cookies what have you (read: sugar/fat/carbs) is available he will mow them down. Mindlessly. Fruit? Forget about it. Anything that requires effort? Forget about it.

DH and I have tried - to absolutely no avail - to manage this, but the bed was made a long time ago and the kid understandably is resistant to changing. We get NO support from his mother to try to manage change. And now that he is working and has his own money, it's a thousand times worse. He eats nothing but junk. It's horrible to witness, frankly.

OP, I appreciate you trying to steer your kids towards balanced choices.

Anonymous wrote:Are there people who eat dessert after dinner every night? This is fascinating.

We do! Nothing big. But a little piece of chocolate, or one or two Tate’s cookies. A slice of banana bread or something similar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have over-weight boys like I do, then you watch what, when, and how much they eat. Its not about being OCD. Its about trying to get kids to make smart food choices and not be endless eating machines. Kids need to ask/let us know if they are getting a snack and what it is. It needs to be snack size, not another meal.

Or possibly you have over-weight boys because you watch what, and when and how much they eat, and they learn that food is scarce?

PP here, that was snarky.

I'm not sure I believe this, but I'm also not sure I believe the opposite. I grew up in a family where my mom micromanaged every food choice, and all of her kids are significantly overweight. I make a different choice for my kids, and found the bulking up before puberty kind of anxiety provoking, but my kids really do seem to be learning to self manage.

I will say that right now, my 13 year old really does make himself 3 "snack" that are basically meals. It's what his body needs at this point.

Anonymous wrote:If you have over-weight boys like I do, then you watch what, when, and how much they eat. Its not about being OCD. Its about trying to get kids to make smart food choices and not be endless eating machines. Kids need to ask/let us know if they are getting a snack and what it is. It needs to be snack size, not another meal.

Or possibly you have over-weight boys because you watch what, and when and how much they eat, and they learn that food is scarce?

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve always wondered who has chips and cookies around the house all the time. I thought only tv families did that. Like does anyone have an actual cookie jar?

I don’t have a jar but we always have chips ahoy soft baked cookies and several cans of Pringle’s and milanos at any given time 24/7. Why not? We otherwise are healthy and exercise regularly.

I didn't know there were actual people who ate these things with enough frequency to have an actual jar for them. I also don't understand how McDonalds stays in business. Like WHO eats that except in an emergency?

People, normal people eat THAT! Meaning cookies and McDonald's. Insane, eating disordered people like YOU, who are so stupid that they can't comprehend something so simple, don't get that. Not only are you eating disordered, but you are also oblivious to what real life is, for people that are not in your privileged sphere. No doubt your kale bubble makes you feel superior? You clearly need that, as you are so stupid, they don't have IQ tests that go that low.

kale is disgusting and besides there is a lot of real estate between kale and McDs. I mean you can get a whole chicken for like $1 a pound. We dont eat like Tom brady over here but like that stuff is literal garbage.

Please go away. You are upsetting me with your entitled ignorance and idiocy. To many poor kids, McDonald's is a treat. Don't call food that people eat literally garbage. It only makes you sound like garbage.
You should learn one thing, never judge what people eat. You are blessed that you have food, others do not.

We live in a 1M house and my kids think McDs is a treat. We eat there about once per month. Personally, I enjoy a cheeseburger, fries and sweet tea every now and then. Moderation, people! Stop hating on McDonalds.

Anonymous wrote:If you have over-weight boys like I do, then you watch what, when, and how much they eat. Its not about being OCD. Its about trying to get kids to make smart food choices and not be endless eating machines. Kids need to ask/let us know if they are getting a snack and what it is. It needs to be snack size, not another meal.

If you have overweight boys, you take a good look at yourself and what you have been doing wrong.

If you have over-weight boys like I do, then you watch what, when, and how much they eat. Its not about being OCD. Its about trying to get kids to make smart food choices and not be endless eating machines. Kids need to ask/let us know if they are getting a snack and what it is. It needs to be snack size, not another meal.

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve always wondered who has chips and cookies around the house all the time. I thought only tv families did that. Like does anyone have an actual cookie jar?

I don’t have a jar but we always have chips ahoy soft baked cookies and several cans of Pringle’s and milanos at any given time 24/7. Why not? We otherwise are healthy and exercise regularly.

I didn't know there were actual people who ate these things with enough frequency to have an actual jar for them. I also don't understand how McDonalds stays in business. Like WHO eats that except in an emergency?

People, normal people eat THAT! Meaning cookies and McDonald's. Insane, eating disordered people like YOU, who are so stupid that they can't comprehend something so simple, don't get that. Not only are you eating disordered, but you are also oblivious to what real life is, for people that are not in your privileged sphere. No doubt your kale bubble makes you feel superior? You clearly need that, as you are so stupid, they don't have IQ tests that go that low.

kale is disgusting and besides there is a lot of real estate between kale and McDs. I mean you can get a whole chicken for like $1 a pound. We dont eat like Tom brady over here but like that stuff is literal garbage.

No, it’s not literal garbage. Stop being deliberately obtuse and confused. It’s food that’s readily available, fast to obtain and relatively inexpensive. And consistently tastes good.

It’s a “food product”. Food, but created almost wholly in the lab.

Huh? Their burgers are 100% real beef.
I know you have an agenda to push, to make your food choices look superior, but c’mon. Don’t make sh!t up. It just makes you look like an idiot.

No rules except they can't eat too much sugar