Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:well, I'm a SAHM and my DH works full time. He does quite a bit around the house (he's the cook, meal planner, shopper) and takes care of most stuff outside the house too.

I'm happy to stay on top of the kids' school work, manage the social stuff (even with the pandemic i organize video get-togethers and socially distanced visits with friends). it all works out as we have a nice balance.

and I love to get my DH's shaft 3-4 times a week.

Your DH does a ton more than you do. Of course you think it's a "nice balance" - you are doing very little compared to your husband.

And yet, she is being worshipped by her DH? Lucky girl! She must have a wonderful personality and be phenomenal in bed that her husband willingly does all of this for her. As long as both of them are happy, why should anyone care?

I wonder is it is because of beauty or something else? Do men value and love their beautiful wives so much that they think it is their honor to be providers?. Do men expect wives who they are not deeply in love with or who are not very beautiful to pay 50% and also do the heavy lifting in running the household and childcare? Sure sounds like it. I think women should marry men who are crazily in love with them.

-Single DP

I’m sorry I haven’t read the responses but there are numerous studies that show that working mothers work much more than working fathers so yes you guys are getting the shaft.

Anonymous wrote:well, I'm a SAHM and my DH works full time. He does quite a bit around the house (he's the cook, meal planner, shopper) and takes care of most stuff outside the house too.

I'm happy to stay on top of the kids' school work, manage the social stuff (even with the pandemic i organize video get-togethers and socially distanced visits with friends). it all works out as we have a nice balance.

and I love to get my DH's shaft 3-4 times a week.

Your DH does a ton more than you do. Of course you think it's a "nice balance" - you are doing very little compared to your husband.

Anonymous wrote:DH makes 3-4 times what I make and works more hours than I do and I do about 75% of the household stuff. That feels fair to me.

You need to make the same as your DH, then you can talk fairness. I would never be married if I didn't contribute equally financially - would give my husband too much hand.

Anonymous wrote:A fantastic looking woman with a great paycheck is much higher value than a fantastic looking woman with no paycheck. All other things being equal.

I love the assumptions working women are dogs. Some of them are even banging your husbands at work.

What? WOHMS are banging my husband at his work? My slightly nerdy, chubby, baldy, great earner hubby? Him? Oh, ok then.

Oh, it must be so hard for these femme fatale WOHMS now that they are home with their slightly nerdy, chubby, baldy but poor earner hubby, no? And with their kids doing DL and needing supervision must be very hard too, amirite? Are they the ones clamouring for the schools to reopen because their homes are filthy, their kids want lunch and they cannot parent their child? Or are they clamouring because they are missing providing my DH with whatever sexual services they were providing him? Or is it because my husband's career is going well and their own career is now down in the toilet? Yes, must be hard to be the WOHM who is being treated so poorly at home and work. tsk, tsk, tsk.

I hope the pandemic ends soon so you can go back to servicing my DH at work. I commend him for not spending money and for being frugal. Will they have a job waiting for them though? Because most seem to be failing spectacularly due to handling work, home and kids. "Burnt Out" is the phrase they use.

Anonymous wrote:Yes true but I think it's more complicated than simply saying "men need to step up more." That is true and I try to get my husband to do more. For example, today he is supposed to do a math lesson with our 5th grader during his lunch. Could I do it? Sure, but I want DH to participate in their schooling too.

The complication is - men typically earn more than women. In our case, my husband earns over 10x what I do. So our economic incentive is for us to do whatever we can to protect his job vs mine.

But I make 55% of the household income, DH makes 45% and it's still the same problem. He should want to protect my income but nah.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^Women's relationship satisfaction depends on equal household duties, while men's depends on partner's communication

Interesting. Was married 10 years with 3 kids, both phds, made what I thought was an equal contribution with kids etc - she never complained. I contributed 100% house down payment and bought cars etc. She had an affair with co- worker and we’re divorced. So I don’t think I agree with this statement or the OP !

why did your ex-wife say she had an affair?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Accurate. There are actual studies on this.

The solution is for men to step up.

RBG’s and Kamala’s husbands stepped up.

Kamala and Doug didn't have children together so it's not the same.

Anonymous wrote:My husband does everything now. For a good portion of our marriage I did most of it. I work full time from home. Then he had an affair and after it was discovered he took on everything without asking: laundry, grocery shopping, meals, carpools, etc. I might write her a thank you note. I relax like a man now and have a raging libido. It feels good to live like a male. In my next life, I’m coming back as a husband.

Good for you!!

No fantastic looking woman is unmarried.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Mostly true.

My marriage is fairly even. I do more childcare and household planning, but he does all of the financial planning, cooking and grocery shopping. I have a big job and do make significantly more than him. Even with all of his support, 2020 has me eyeing mommy track jobs. I probably wont pull the trigger, but it's been hard.

I do more childcare, all the household planning, financial planning, bill paying, laundry, 75% of the cooking and 90% of the grocery shopping. No wonder I hate my husband.

OP you are so right. My kids are now 21 and 19 but I'll never get over the bitterness and resentment. My husband actually told me that well balanced meals and a clean house and presentable clothes for the children were not necessities.

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Anonymous wrote:A fantastic looking woman with a great paycheck is much higher value than a fantastic looking woman with no paycheck. All other things being equal.

I love the assumptions working women are dogs. Some of them are even banging your husbands at work.

No, the one with no paycheck is higher value-she doesn’t even have to work to keep her man. Btw banging other women’s husbands at work is definitely dog-like behavior.

And when her husband dumps her she’s extremely low value with kids and no job.

Lol how many SAHM’s do you know of who have been so unceremoniously dumped? It’s just a silly DCUM working mom’s fantasy.

None. Until I turned 50. Bam! As kids head towards college, way more men leaving, having affairs, etc.

Sounds like a trashy crowd. I know of none, including folks over 50.

You must not know very many people. I can think of at least 5 examples I know personally right off the top of my head, none of which were apparently “trashy”. I’m talking churchgoing prudes (but the husband was a narcissistic a-hole), two separate cases of high school sweethearts with big law husbands, a “respected” pastor who left his wife for another woman, a millennial couple who looked absolutely perfect from the outside, but the husband just up and moved out one day... seriously, you don’t know anybody?!

NP but: you can find trashy people anywhere. I’ve met plenty of trashy churchgoers, and a filandering pastor is a classic trash person. Big Law people are often trashy, especially partners, and yeah, there are lots of trashy Millenials.

I know people in my extended acquaintances who have done stuff like this but no actual friends because I don’t socialize with trashy people.

Uh, ok, good for you and your angelic social circle. But the notion that SAHMs being dumped is a “DCUM working mom’s fantasy” is completely absurd.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A fantastic looking woman with a great paycheck is much higher value than a fantastic looking woman with no paycheck. All other things being equal.

I love the assumptions working women are dogs. Some of them are even banging your husbands at work.

No, the one with no paycheck is higher value-she doesn’t even have to work to keep her man. Btw banging other women’s husbands at work is definitely dog-like behavior.

And when her husband dumps her she’s extremely low value with kids and no job.

Lol how many SAHM’s do you know of who have been so unceremoniously dumped? It’s just a silly DCUM working mom’s fantasy.

None. Until I turned 50. Bam! As kids head towards college, way more men leaving, having affairs, etc.

Sounds like a trashy crowd. I know of none, including folks over 50.

You must not know very many people. I can think of at least 5 examples I know personally right off the top of my head, none of which were apparently “trashy”. I’m talking churchgoing prudes (but the husband was a narcissistic a-hole), two separate cases of high school sweethearts with big law husbands, a “respected” pastor who left his wife for another woman, a millennial couple who looked absolutely perfect from the outside, but the husband just up and moved out one day... seriously, you don’t know anybody?!

NP but: you can find trashy people anywhere. I’ve met plenty of trashy churchgoers, and a filandering pastor is a classic trash person. Big Law people are often trashy, especially partners, and yeah, there are lots of trashy Millenials.

I know people in my extended acquaintances who have done stuff like this but no actual friends because I don’t socialize with trashy people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A fantastic looking woman with a great paycheck is much higher value than a fantastic looking woman with no paycheck. All other things being equal.

I love the assumptions working women are dogs. Some of them are even banging your husbands at work.

No, the one with no paycheck is higher value-she doesn’t even have to work to keep her man. Btw banging other women’s husbands at work is definitely dog-like behavior.

And when her husband dumps her she’s extremely low value with kids and no job.

Lol how many SAHM’s do you know of who have been so unceremoniously dumped? It’s just a silly DCUM working mom’s fantasy.

None. Until I turned 50. Bam! As kids head towards college, way more men leaving, having affairs, etc.

Sounds like a trashy crowd. I know of none, including folks over 50.

You must not know very many people. I can think of at least 5 examples I know personally right off the top of my head, none of which were apparently “trashy”. I’m talking churchgoing prudes (but the husband was a narcissistic a-hole), two separate cases of high school sweethearts with big law husbands, a “respected” pastor who left his wife for another woman, a millennial couple who looked absolutely perfect from the outside, but the husband just up and moved out one day... seriously, you don’t know anybody?!