We are in a less white area and the kids tend to imitate each other in style- just like in more racially homogeneous areas. At school after lunch, the girls often put braids in each other's hair. What I'm not going to do is intervene and say to my white daughter, "honey, only let your black friends do euro-centric braid styles on you because you don't want to be a cultural imperialist. Here, pick out something from Hanna Anderssen." Call me unenlightened, I don't care, but I am not going to make my daughter show her friends how woke she is by not participating in normal kid stuff.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I did not expect this to have so many responses! To update, I spoke with the other mom and we agreed that the girls will order matching outfits and even shoes online so they can have their twin idea. I will braid my daughter's hair into pigtails and I will offer to add ribbons in the same color as her friend's beads. Then we will do a twin day and they can choose their activities they want to do, like a project or ice cream. I already have talked to my daughter about her hair being a different kind and that the braids will not work the same.

(I'm OP)

OP I have a black child and if she had a friend that wanted to do this I think it would be fine.

OP, you handled this perfectly. The girls will be happy, the other family is happy - everyone else can pound sand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I did not expect this to have so many responses! To update, I spoke with the other mom and we agreed that the girls will order matching outfits and even shoes online so they can have their twin idea. I will braid my daughter's hair into pigtails and I will offer to add ribbons in the same color as her friend's beads. Then we will do a twin day and they can choose their activities they want to do, like a project or ice cream. I already have talked to my daughter about her hair being a different kind and that the braids will not work the same.

(I'm OP)

OP I have a black child and if she had a friend that wanted to do this I think it would be fine.

X1000. I am black and think your daughter of any age should be able to wear her hair in any style. OMG -- This whole thread is just crazy to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I did not expect this to have so many responses! To update, I spoke with the other mom and we agreed that the girls will order matching outfits and even shoes online so they can have their twin idea. I will braid my daughter's hair into pigtails and I will offer to add ribbons in the same color as her friend's beads. Then we will do a twin day and they can choose their activities they want to do, like a project or ice cream. I already have talked to my daughter about her hair being a different kind and that the braids will not work the same.

(I'm OP)

Still not comfortable with this. Strays too close to the line.

What line??? Please explain your thought or stop trolling.

Anonymous wrote:Teach your child to say we don’t do cultural appropriation.

Teach your child to say "Cultural appropriation is a social construct invented by white academics in the 1980s in order to meet publishing quotas."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I did not expect this to have so many responses! To update, I spoke with the other mom and we agreed that the girls will order matching outfits and even shoes online so they can have their twin idea. I will braid my daughter's hair into pigtails and I will offer to add ribbons in the same color as her friend's beads. Then we will do a twin day and they can choose their activities they want to do, like a project or ice cream. I already have talked to my daughter about her hair being a different kind and that the braids will not work the same.

(I'm OP)

Still not comfortable with this. Strays too close to the line.

You can't be serious.

Anonymous wrote:Wow I did not expect this to have so many responses! To update, I spoke with the other mom and we agreed that the girls will order matching outfits and even shoes online so they can have their twin idea. I will braid my daughter's hair into pigtails and I will offer to add ribbons in the same color as her friend's beads. Then we will do a twin day and they can choose their activities they want to do, like a project or ice cream. I already have talked to my daughter about her hair being a different kind and that the braids will not work the same.

(I'm OP)

OP I have a black child and if she had a friend that wanted to do this I think it would be fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I did not expect this to have so many responses! To update, I spoke with the other mom and we agreed that the girls will order matching outfits and even shoes online so they can have their twin idea. I will braid my daughter's hair into pigtails and I will offer to add ribbons in the same color as her friend's beads. Then we will do a twin day and they can choose their activities they want to do, like a project or ice cream. I already have talked to my daughter about her hair being a different kind and that the braids will not work the same.

(I'm OP)

Still not comfortable with this. Strays too close to the line.

Pigtails with ribbons aren't okay? White people have been doing that forever.

Anonymous wrote:Teach your child to say we don’t do cultural appropriation.

"The Maidens of the ancience Greek period (kore) wore fine braids" . Google it. Look at the art. Fine braids.

Teach your child to say we don’t do cultural appropriation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP. This sucks. It’s so hard to explain to your daughter that she cannot wear this style - it seems unfair and won’t make sense to her. Just remember that black parents have to have conversations about unfairness for subject matters much more dire than hairstyles.

This!!!

Haha. Black peoples are OBSESSED with their hair.

WTF is wrong with people. They are two innocent little girls. Let them do the matching braids. Geez people. Why does everything have to turn into a racist discussion.

Anonymous wrote:Wow I did not expect this to have so many responses! To update, I spoke with the other mom and we agreed that the girls will order matching outfits and even shoes online so they can have their twin idea. I will braid my daughter's hair into pigtails and I will offer to add ribbons in the same color as her friend's beads. Then we will do a twin day and they can choose their activities they want to do, like a project or ice cream. I already have talked to my daughter about her hair being a different kind and that the braids will not work the same.

(I'm OP)

Still not comfortable with this. Strays too close to the line.

Wow I did not expect this to have so many responses! To update, I spoke with the other mom and we agreed that the girls will order matching outfits and even shoes online so they can have their twin idea. I will braid my daughter's hair into pigtails and I will offer to add ribbons in the same color as her friend's beads. Then we will do a twin day and they can choose their activities they want to do, like a project or ice cream. I already have talked to my daughter about her hair being a different kind and that the braids will not work the same.

(I'm OP)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a complete idiot though I feel like one now. I know better than to let my kid have braids to match her friend. Could I do french braids instead and put beads in her hair that way? I'm so lost on this. I am an immigrant, sorry for not understanding. I am trying.

Every troll claims to be an immigrant.

I am not OP, but I am also an immigrant trying to understand. Would it be ok to say to a black kid not to do something because it is a “white thing”. I understand the debate for older kids or adults. But don’t we want to foster real empathy and friendship between kids of different backgrounds?

Black parents have to tell their kids that all the time. Main one, "don't talk back to the police." And yeah, the conversations have to start early for their safety. The 6-year-old baby made to lie down next to her family on the hot ground in the August Colorado sun with guns drawn on them doesn't get to do "white things," so I don't know why everyone is freaking out at the suggestion that she wear a different type of braid other than beaded cornrows.

This is not the same as the police talk so stop acting like it for God's sake. These are two little girls who want braids. Get outta here with this crap.