For most men it’s merely physical/just sex and they will tell mistress anything to keep it going—lie, lie and more lies. Many tolerate her “talk” but do t really like her and could never see themselves marrying her. Particularly, with the ones started on online websites vs office affairs where they are intellectually on the same footing and begin an attraction for one another. Co-workers/colleagues have spent many hours, months, etc together vs Ashley Madison where it’s one meet up and then straight to sex. They get the milk for free.

Statistically for women, even those telling AP they just are doing it for sex, they get very emotionally attached as the affair progresses and become highly jealous of the wife. It’s more often a means for an unhappy wife to try and exit marriage with new partner in hand. Unfortunately for her, most men don’t want to give up their marriages. They just want their cake and wait to too.

Many studies done on this topic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Christ- get an older widow, not a married man. Troll the widow groups.

Wtf is wrong with people going after those already married?!!!!

They don’t have to go after them, married men are all over the dating sites and apps.

I'm single and on Bumble (not generally considered a hookup site) and there are SO MANY married guys. I can't understand their chutzpah, because they've got their real faces up there for the world to see, and enough identifying information to find them if someone wanted to.

My favorites are the dudes who list themselves as Christian and Conservative. If I win the lottery, I'm going to turn to outing those folks to their communities as a full-time job.

LOL. It’s sort of disgusting to hear that they’re so blatant about it.

My friend is on bumble and she let me look through her account the married men use the term "ethical non monogamy" which I think is supposed to mean they are open about being married. Not sure if their wives are aware though.

I would get the guys name and, let the wife know he's into ethical non monogamy. See if she's on the same page. lol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Christ- get an older widow, not a married man. Troll the widow groups.

Wtf is wrong with people going after those already married?!!!!

They don’t have to go after them, married men are all over the dating sites and apps.

I'm single and on Bumble (not generally considered a hookup site) and there are SO MANY married guys. I can't understand their chutzpah, because they've got their real faces up there for the world to see, and enough identifying information to find them if someone wanted to.

My favorites are the dudes who list themselves as Christian and Conservative. If I win the lottery, I'm going to turn to outing those folks to their communities as a full-time job.

LOL. It’s sort of disgusting to hear that they’re so blatant about it.

My friend is on bumble and she let me look through her account the married men use the term "ethical non monogamy" which I think is supposed to mean they are open about being married. Not sure if their wives are aware though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ bitch. Think about his wife and kids. I’d cut you.

Not all women are the same. I understand why a married man would be a good option for some women.
I would not divorce over an affair. I told my DH that years ago. There is more to marriage than sex. Some people do not care. I would not. I also can see why being a mistress can keep a man in a marriage he would otherwise leave and in that case, the wife and kids should be thanking her for avoiding a divorce.

Not everyone views marriage as some black and white romantic fairytale. Also, blame the person going outside the family (which may be what they need to stay)...that is the person people should blame. Not the OW.

I agree with part of what you said. I'm more practical where my kids and finances comes first. A man isn't my everything at least not romantically. If my DH cheats it's not worth divorcing over some silly W. That being said she is equally a co-cheater and messed with my family. I would have no problem showing up at her work, or telling her family all about her. Once she came into my playground she invited me into hers.

Someone who is cheating is rarely *just* cheating, and it is not just about sex. They may be spending significant money on their affair, 'working late' and spending less time with your kids, having unprotected sex (risking your health and another baby), saying awful things about you, sleeping with a coworker and risking their job, and spinning a narrative in their own heads which justify the affair and also justify all other kinds of resentment and acting-out toward you. At a minimum, they are lying to you.

Exactly. One of my friends suddenly noticed her over 50 spouse acting critical of her. They had a good marriage (or so she thought) and other changes that prompted her to check on him. She put a gps on his car. Found out before and after work he was parking at random places for a hour or 2. Often it was a shopping center. I told her to locate his car and park far enough away he wouldn't see her. The AP dropped him off, and she followed the AP to her house and obtained the address, her name and everything about her.
She also erased the Textme app from his phone, and called the AP telling her if she contacted her spouse again there would be serious consequences. Never said anything to her spouse, and to date he hasn't cheated but her feelings toward him are completely over. Mind boggling because he lost a lot over a dud of a interloper. Actually I seen a few similar things with other friends and acquaintances over the years. Sad when the kids find out and want nothing to do with the cheating parent. It's definitely cheating on the entire family, not just the spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ bitch. Think about his wife and kids. I’d cut you.

Not all women are the same. I understand why a married man would be a good option for some women.
I would not divorce over an affair. I told my DH that years ago. There is more to marriage than sex. Some people do not care. I would not. I also can see why being a mistress can keep a man in a marriage he would otherwise leave and in that case, the wife and kids should be thanking her for avoiding a divorce.

Not everyone views marriage as some black and white romantic fairytale. Also, blame the person going outside the family (which may be what they need to stay)...that is the person people should blame. Not the OW.

Blame them both. A couple of narcissistic teenagers Stroking each other’s egos.

It’s hard to believe, but many of us have a very healthy sex life with our husbands and they have mental health issues they use whores as their alcohol or quick fix. That’s not saving a marriage, honey. That’s not addressing underlying issues.

Keep thinking they have a magic p@ssy, you don’t. You are a whore getting sloppy seconds who he will discard when he tires of you.

DP

You may have a healthy sex life with you husband but you have some serious anger issues, sanctimonious and judgmental.

Omg. Judgemental of whores that step on a partner they pledged fidelity to in marriage vows? Hardly sanctimonious stance.

You are screwed up in the bean. Daddy never gave you love or attention. So you use unavailable men to screw.

Hard to change my original stance given the bold text above and I could add that you are assumptive in your conclusions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of mistresses don’t care if he leaves his wife or not.

Agreed. They may have their own spouse they don't want to leave.

Or maybe they are divorced and never want to marry again. In that case, they are not jealous of the wife. They pity her.

They should go after SINGLE guys. If they aren’t married, why are they targeting married guys?? Wtf??

When I started cheating, I was sure that I would only hook up with married women. On dating sites, and not just AshleyMadison, I pursued the married women I eventually hooked up with. Meanwhile, about half the women I hooked up were single and they were more likely to pursue me. The ones I got with were pretty much on a break from serious dating and just looking for some NSF sex until the real thing came along again. I felt so used. LOL. But seriously, I really was.

I’m confused. You only wanted to hook up with married unavailable worn for sex and then were upset that you met available women for sex that used you like you we’re going to use the married women?!?!!!

Wtf!?!! Also, dude, seriously, her spouse may be packing heat. You want him coming after you?

Look up the Jennair and Mark Geradot case. The OW wouldn't leave them alone even after she confronted her, went to her employer etc. Her DH enjoyed having two women fight over him, even pretending to go to marital counseling but Jennair was a little smarter. Put gps on his car and phone. Finally shot the mistress dead in her own home. On social media most were sympathic toward Jennair, and lots of hate toward her DH and dead co-cheater. This was last year I believe.

Uh, Jennair was also insane and killed herself at the scene.

Nope she wasn't insane. Chronically depressed over 2 people playing horrible games. Her job had ended and they agreed she would move them while he started his new job. While she was in another state his no good boss started hitting on him. When Jennair joined him she was in a new city, unemployed with a husband who was cheating. No support system at all.
Its too bad she didn't see a way out, or didn't realize her DH wasn't worth it. A traumatic series of events can get any normal person to behave irrationally.

The maliciousness of the mistress is hard to comprehend. Or the ignorance in not seeing the danger involved.

DP

You either don't know what all Jennair did or you are ignoring it to keep to your point. No doubt the woman was wronged but given her reaction she went WAY past the point of anything considered as a normal response and speed past irrational as well.

I agree with you. I'm pointing out that there are traumatic life events that can make a rational person behave irrationally. Abused women who kill their husbands, or kids that kill an abusive parent. All three played a part in the unfortunate events that followed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ bitch. Think about his wife and kids. I’d cut you.

Not all women are the same. I understand why a married man would be a good option for some women.
I would not divorce over an affair. I told my DH that years ago. There is more to marriage than sex. Some people do not care. I would not. I also can see why being a mistress can keep a man in a marriage he would otherwise leave and in that case, the wife and kids should be thanking her for avoiding a divorce.

Not everyone views marriage as some black and white romantic fairytale. Also, blame the person going outside the family (which may be what they need to stay)...that is the person people should blame. Not the OW.

I agree with part of what you said. I'm more practical where my kids and finances comes first. A man isn't my everything at least not romantically. If my DH cheats it's not worth divorcing over some silly W. That being said she is equally a co-cheater and messed with my family. I would have no problem showing up at her work, or telling her family all about her. Once she came into my playground she invited me into hers.

That makes no sense. Blame the spouse.

Yes it does. I would blame both, and I wouldn't ever care about my DH again. At that point my kids and lifestyle is all I would care about...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of mistresses don’t care if he leaves his wife or not.

Agreed. They may have their own spouse they don't want to leave.

Or maybe they are divorced and never want to marry again. In that case, they are not jealous of the wife. They pity her.

They should go after SINGLE guys. If they aren’t married, why are they targeting married guys?? Wtf??

When I started cheating, I was sure that I would only hook up with married women. On dating sites, and not just AshleyMadison, I pursued the married women I eventually hooked up with. Meanwhile, about half the women I hooked up were single and they were more likely to pursue me. The ones I got with were pretty much on a break from serious dating and just looking for some NSF sex until the real thing came along again. I felt so used. LOL. But seriously, I really was.

I’m confused. You only wanted to hook up with married unavailable worn for sex and then were upset that you met available women for sex that used you like you we’re going to use the married women?!?!!!

Wtf!?!! Also, dude, seriously, her spouse may be packing heat. You want him coming after you?

Look up the Jennair and Mark Geradot case. The OW wouldn't leave them alone even after she confronted her, went to her employer etc. Her DH enjoyed having two women fight over him, even pretending to go to marital counseling but Jennair was a little smarter. Put gps on his car and phone. Finally shot the mistress dead in her own home. On social media most were sympathic toward Jennair, and lots of hate toward her DH and dead co-cheater. This was last year I believe.

Uh, Jennair was also insane and killed herself at the scene.

Nope she wasn't insane. Chronically depressed over 2 people playing horrible games. Her job had ended and they agreed she would move them while he started his new job. While she was in another state his no good boss started hitting on him. When Jennair joined him she was in a new city, unemployed with a husband who was cheating. No support system at all.
Its too bad she didn't see a way out, or didn't realize her DH wasn't worth it. A traumatic series of events can get any normal person to behave irrationally.

The maliciousness of the mistress is hard to comprehend. Or the ignorance in not seeing the danger involved.

DP

You either don't know what all Jennair did or you are ignoring it to keep to your point. No doubt the woman was wronged but given her reaction she went WAY past the point of anything considered as a normal response and speed past irrational as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ bitch. Think about his wife and kids. I’d cut you.

Not all women are the same. I understand why a married man would be a good option for some women.
I would not divorce over an affair. I told my DH that years ago. There is more to marriage than sex. Some people do not care. I would not. I also can see why being a mistress can keep a man in a marriage he would otherwise leave and in that case, the wife and kids should be thanking her for avoiding a divorce.

Not everyone views marriage as some black and white romantic fairytale. Also, blame the person going outside the family (which may be what they need to stay)...that is the person people should blame. Not the OW.

I agree with part of what you said. I'm more practical where my kids and finances comes first. A man isn't my everything at least not romantically. If my DH cheats it's not worth divorcing over some silly W. That being said she is equally a co-cheater and messed with my family. I would have no problem showing up at her work, or telling her family all about her. Once she came into my playground she invited me into hers.

Someone who is cheating is rarely *just* cheating, and it is not just about sex. They may be spending significant money on their affair, 'working late' and spending less time with your kids, having unprotected sex (risking your health and another baby), saying awful things about you, sleeping with a coworker and risking their job, and spinning a narrative in their own heads which justify the affair and also justify all other kinds of resentment and acting-out toward you. At a minimum, they are lying to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ bitch. Think about his wife and kids. I’d cut you.

Not all women are the same. I understand why a married man would be a good option for some women.
I would not divorce over an affair. I told my DH that years ago. There is more to marriage than sex. Some people do not care. I would not. I also can see why being a mistress can keep a man in a marriage he would otherwise leave and in that case, the wife and kids should be thanking her for avoiding a divorce.

Not everyone views marriage as some black and white romantic fairytale. Also, blame the person going outside the family (which may be what they need to stay)...that is the person people should blame. Not the OW.

I agree with part of what you said. I'm more practical where my kids and finances comes first. A man isn't my everything at least not romantically. If my DH cheats it's not worth divorcing over some silly W. That being said she is equally a co-cheater and messed with my family. I would have no problem showing up at her work, or telling her family all about her. Once she came into my playground she invited me into hers.

That makes no sense. Blame the spouse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of mistresses don’t care if he leaves his wife or not.

Agreed. They may have their own spouse they don't want to leave.

Or maybe they are divorced and never want to marry again. In that case, they are not jealous of the wife. They pity her.

They should go after SINGLE guys. If they aren’t married, why are they targeting married guys?? Wtf??

When I started cheating, I was sure that I would only hook up with married women. On dating sites, and not just AshleyMadison, I pursued the married women I eventually hooked up with. Meanwhile, about half the women I hooked up were single and they were more likely to pursue me. The ones I got with were pretty much on a break from serious dating and just looking for some NSF sex until the real thing came along again. I felt so used. LOL. But seriously, I really was.

I’m confused. You only wanted to hook up with married unavailable worn for sex and then were upset that you met available women for sex that used you like you we’re going to use the married women?!?!!!

Wtf!?!! Also, dude, seriously, her spouse may be packing heat. You want him coming after you?

Look up the Jennair and Mark Geradot case. The OW wouldn't leave them alone even after she confronted her, went to her employer etc. Her DH enjoyed having two women fight over him, even pretending to go to marital counseling but Jennair was a little smarter. Put gps on his car and phone. Finally shot the mistress dead in her own home. On social media most were sympathic toward Jennair, and lots of hate toward her DH and dead co-cheater. This was last year I believe.

Uh, Jennair was also insane and killed herself at the scene.

Nope she wasn't insane. Chronically depressed over 2 people playing horrible games. Her job had ended and they agreed she would move them while he started his new job. While she was in another state his no good boss started hitting on him. When Jennair joined him she was in a new city, unemployed with a husband who was cheating. No support system at all.
Its too bad she didn't see a way out, or didn't realize her DH wasn't worth it. A traumatic series of events can get any normal person to behave irrationally.

The maliciousness of the mistress is hard to comprehend. Or the ignorance in not seeing the danger involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ bitch. Think about his wife and kids. I’d cut you.

Not all women are the same. I understand why a married man would be a good option for some women.
I would not divorce over an affair. I told my DH that years ago. There is more to marriage than sex. Some people do not care. I would not. I also can see why being a mistress can keep a man in a marriage he would otherwise leave and in that case, the wife and kids should be thanking her for avoiding a divorce.

Not everyone views marriage as some black and white romantic fairytale. Also, blame the person going outside the family (which may be what they need to stay)...that is the person people should blame. Not the OW.

I agree with part of what you said. I'm more practical where my kids and finances comes first. A man isn't my everything at least not romantically. If my DH cheats it's not worth divorcing over some silly W. That being said she is equally a co-cheater and messed with my family. I would have no problem showing up at her work, or telling her family all about her. Once she came into my playground she invited me into hers.

Amen to that. Nobody f@cks with me or my kids. Sure f@ck my husband/wife, but be prepared to pay consequences, e.g., such as your spouse being told, etc. And as the other op pointed out many things that can be used against you in custody were caused by the infidelity. Yes, infidelity, isn’t used— but the things you did to harm/ignore your kids —/choosing AP over them, putting their safety at risk, breaking quarantine will all (and should rightly) be used against you by judge ruling on custody.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of mistresses don’t care if he leaves his wife or not.

Agreed. They may have their own spouse they don't want to leave.

Or maybe they are divorced and never want to marry again. In that case, they are not jealous of the wife. They pity her.

They should go after SINGLE guys. If they aren’t married, why are they targeting married guys?? Wtf??

When I started cheating, I was sure that I would only hook up with married women. On dating sites, and not just AshleyMadison, I pursued the married women I eventually hooked up with. Meanwhile, about half the women I hooked up were single and they were more likely to pursue me. The ones I got with were pretty much on a break from serious dating and just looking for some NSF sex until the real thing came along again. I felt so used. LOL. But seriously, I really was.

I’m confused. You only wanted to hook up with married unavailable worn for sex and then were upset that you met available women for sex that used you like you we’re going to use the married women?!?!!!

Wtf!?!! Also, dude, seriously, her spouse may be packing heat. You want him coming after you?

Look up the Jennair and Mark Geradot case. The OW wouldn't leave them alone even after she confronted her, went to her employer etc. Her DH enjoyed having two women fight over him, even pretending to go to marital counseling but Jennair was a little smarter. Put gps on his car and phone. Finally shot the mistress dead in her own home. On social media most were sympathic toward Jennair, and lots of hate toward her DH and dead co-cheater. This was last year I believe.

Uh, Jennair was also insane and killed herself at the scene.

NP. How on earth would the OW know if the wife was insane or not? Still a risk.

And, discovering years long affair in itself often leads to insanity.

You can’t bank on how anyone will take discovery, not your partner or your AP’s partner no matter what you think of them or how they will react.

Many will be intent on taking you down. It’s a very normal reaction to that depth of betrayal, lies and putting their health and kids safety at risk. Momma or Poppa Bear is poked and comes out of hibernation for that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ bitch. Think about his wife and kids. I’d cut you.

Not all women are the same. I understand why a married man would be a good option for some women.
I would not divorce over an affair. I told my DH that years ago. There is more to marriage than sex. Some people do not care. I would not. I also can see why being a mistress can keep a man in a marriage he would otherwise leave and in that case, the wife and kids should be thanking her for avoiding a divorce.

Not everyone views marriage as some black and white romantic fairytale. Also, blame the person going outside the family (which may be what they need to stay)...that is the person people should blame. Not the OW.

Blame them both. A couple of narcissistic teenagers Stroking each other’s egos.

It’s hard to believe, but many of us have a very healthy sex life with our husbands and they have mental health issues they use whores as their alcohol or quick fix. That’s not saving a marriage, honey. That’s not addressing underlying issues.

Keep thinking they have a magic p@ssy, you don’t. You are a whore getting sloppy seconds who he will discard when he tires of you.

DP

You may have a healthy sex life with you husband but you have some serious anger issues, sanctimonious and judgmental.

Omg. Judgemental of whores that step on a partner they pledged fidelity to in marriage vows? Hardly sanctimonious stance.

You are screwed up in the bean. Daddy never gave you love or attention. So you use unavailable men to screw.