Anonymous wrote:I’ve heard this phrase used time and again to describe what men look for in a relationship. It’s used by so many people of different ages, genders, cultural backgrounds, etc. This makes me question the truth of this statement.

Men, how accurate is this statement?

tV time!

Quiet!

Few responsibilities!

Mainly focus on office work!

Being told how great they are!

Why men great, til they gotta be great????!!?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad that many women here are shrugging their shoulders and saying "yeah if you want to keep your man happy gotta put out even if you don't feel like it, I'm teaching my daughters the same thing." Good grief.

Ladies you can do better.

It's reality though. If you need the trash removed it needs to be taken to the curb. If you want to pass a test you have to study. If you want the benefits of a marriage you often have to do things you don't want to. It may be in-law related, or duty sex.

Having sex is not the same as taking out the trash. Taking out the trash improves how you feel, duty sex makes you feel like shit. I'm truly sorry for anybody who thinks that duty sex is a requirement for a good marriage. It's not.

Most women don’t feel like shit for having sex with their husbands. Even if they arent all that into it. Even if it’s just the satisfaction of a job well done .

If they're at all into it, it's not duty sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad that many women here are shrugging their shoulders and saying "yeah if you want to keep your man happy gotta put out even if you don't feel like it, I'm teaching my daughters the same thing." Good grief.

Ladies you can do better.

It's reality though. If you need the trash removed it needs to be taken to the curb. If you want to pass a test you have to study. If you want the benefits of a marriage you often have to do things you don't want to. It may be in-law related, or duty sex.

Having sex is not the same as taking out the trash. Taking out the trash improves how you feel, duty sex makes you feel like shit. I'm truly sorry for anybody who thinks that duty sex is a requirement for a good marriage. It's not.

Most women don’t feel like shit for having sex with their husbands. Even if they arent all that into it. Even if it’s just the satisfaction of a job well done .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So for those who say men only want ONE thing:

What if their partner stopped listening to them, stopped wanting to be with them, stopped spending time with the kids, stopped doing any household work, and maybe quit their job and started screaming and nagging all the time. But the partner still offered LOTS of duty sex.

Would the man be happy because he was still getting the one thing he wanted?

He’d be happier than he would otherwise.

Obviously but that doesn't answer the question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad that many women here are shrugging their shoulders and saying "yeah if you want to keep your man happy gotta put out even if you don't feel like it, I'm teaching my daughters the same thing." Good grief.

Ladies you can do better.

It's reality though. If you need the trash removed it needs to be taken to the curb. If you want to pass a test you have to study. If you want the benefits of a marriage you often have to do things you don't want to. It may be in-law related, or duty sex.

Having sex is not the same as taking out the trash. Taking out the trash improves how you feel, duty sex makes you feel like shit. I'm truly sorry for anybody who thinks that duty sex is a requirement for a good marriage. It's not.

Want to avoid duty sex? Here is a simple solution that is 100% on YOU women: marry a man who exactly matches YOUR sex drive... then (and here is the important part) DO NOT LOSE INTEREST.

So don't go marrying a normal man, one who wants regular sex, then complain about "duty sex" when it is YOU who lost interest.

How about just marrying a man who...doesn't demand duty sex? My husband doesn't. My sex drive fluctuates, sometimes it's really low, sometimes it's embarrassingly high, but my husband would never to have sex with me if he knew I didn't want to.

It would probably also work to marry a man who continues to treat you the same way he treated you before marriage and who does his fair share of household chores. Those men exist too.

You've conveniently skipped over your role and choices here. If you are sexually matched, and both are happy with the sexual frequency (and any fluctuations) before marriage, then the ONLY way you would later perceive sex to be "duty" is if YOU LOSE INTEREST. Simply don't do that, and you can avoid any problems with duty sex.

As to a husband who mistreats you, or doesn't do his fair share: what does this have to do with sex? If your husband mistreats you, or is a bad partner divorce, the jerk!! Again, no issues with duty sex, unless the woman chooses to stay married to a jerk. Again, this is her bad choice, not an issue with duty sex.

Anonymous wrote:So for those who say men only want ONE thing:

What if their partner stopped listening to them, stopped wanting to be with them, stopped spending time with the kids, stopped doing any household work, and maybe quit their job and started screaming and nagging all the time. But the partner still offered LOTS of duty sex.

Would the man be happy because he was still getting the one thing he wanted?

He’d be happier than he would otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad that many women here are shrugging their shoulders and saying "yeah if you want to keep your man happy gotta put out even if you don't feel like it, I'm teaching my daughters the same thing." Good grief.

Ladies you can do better.

It's reality though. If you need the trash removed it needs to be taken to the curb. If you want to pass a test you have to study. If you want the benefits of a marriage you often have to do things you don't want to. It may be in-law related, or duty sex.

Having sex is not the same as taking out the trash. Taking out the trash improves how you feel, duty sex makes you feel like shit. I'm truly sorry for anybody who thinks that duty sex is a requirement for a good marriage. It's not.

Want to avoid duty sex? Here is a simple solution that is 100% on YOU women: marry a man who exactly matches YOUR sex drive... then (and here is the important part) DO NOT LOSE INTEREST.

So don't go marrying a normal man, one who wants regular sex, then complain about "duty sex" when it is YOU who lost interest.

How about just marrying a man who...doesn't demand duty sex? My husband doesn't. My sex drive fluctuates, sometimes it's really low, sometimes it's embarrassingly high, but my husband would never to have sex with me if he knew I didn't want to.

It would probably also work to marry a man who continues to treat you the same way he treated you before marriage and who does his fair share of household chores. Those men exist too.

So for those who say men only want ONE thing:

What if their partner stopped listening to them, stopped wanting to be with them, stopped spending time with the kids, stopped doing any household work, and maybe quit their job and started screaming and nagging all the time. But the partner still offered LOTS of duty sex.

Would the man be happy because he was still getting the one thing he wanted?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad that many women here are shrugging their shoulders and saying "yeah if you want to keep your man happy gotta put out even if you don't feel like it, I'm teaching my daughters the same thing." Good grief.

Ladies you can do better.

It's reality though. If you need the trash removed it needs to be taken to the curb. If you want to pass a test you have to study. If you want the benefits of a marriage you often have to do things you don't want to. It may be in-law related, or duty sex.

Having sex is not the same as taking out the trash. Taking out the trash improves how you feel, duty sex makes you feel like shit. I'm truly sorry for anybody who thinks that duty sex is a requirement for a good marriage. It's not.

There are times my wife wants me to go to brunch with her family. I really don't like doing it at all. I do it because it matters to her. Do I enjoy it? No, not really. But it's part of our deal. I do for you what is important to you, you do for me what is important to me. How is sex any different?

Well I'll say this: I hav never heard a woman say "I only want one thing, and that's for a husband to go out to brunch with my family."

And I've never heard a man say "I only want one thing, and that's to let my wife let me play video games."

Sex is a different thing. It's emotional, for both partners, far more than brunch with people you don't like.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad that many women here are shrugging their shoulders and saying "yeah if you want to keep your man happy gotta put out even if you don't feel like it, I'm teaching my daughters the same thing." Good grief.

Ladies you can do better.

It's reality though. If you need the trash removed it needs to be taken to the curb. If you want to pass a test you have to study. If you want the benefits of a marriage you often have to do things you don't want to. It may be in-law related, or duty sex.

Having sex is not the same as taking out the trash. Taking out the trash improves how you feel, duty sex makes you feel like shit. I'm truly sorry for anybody who thinks that duty sex is a requirement for a good marriage. It's not.

There are times my wife wants me to go to brunch with her family. I really don't like doing it at all. I do it because it matters to her. Do I enjoy it? No, not really. But it's part of our deal. I do for you what is important to you, you do for me what is important to me. How is sex any different?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad that many women here are shrugging their shoulders and saying "yeah if you want to keep your man happy gotta put out even if you don't feel like it, I'm teaching my daughters the same thing." Good grief.

Ladies you can do better.

He has to listen to your incessant emoting and chatter about people and things he doesn't care about. He does this just to keep you happy. So both sides have to make compromises.

Yeah no. He cares about things that are important enough to me to talk about them.

Good lord apparently the world abounds in shitty marriages.

For the most part, yes, it does. Most people are selfish, and you have competing selfish desires, so of course, you will have conflict.

You can have two self-interested people who have conflicts in a relationship and have a way better marriage everybody here who is saying that men only want one thing.

I think the point isn’t that men only want one thing. The point is that is the most important thing. For example, work and kids can be priorities but only after sex part is fulfilled.

Two things: that's not answering the question in the OP, and that is patently false. A man can work and take care of kids without sex. Single men who aren't sexually active do it all the damn time. If a married man is failing at work and at fatherhood and uses no sex as an excuse, it's just that: an excuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex seemed like such a small part of the marriage until my wife lost interest. Now it's the black cloud over the marriage. For those who see it as a trivial or only semi important factor, wait till your marriage goes cold then come chime in here.

Some wives lose interest in sex. Unsurprisingly, their husbands lose interest in monogamy. It all evens out though.

The older I get, the clearer it becomes to me that wives lose interest in sex WITH THEIR HUSBANDS.

There is actually a book abut this. Women, not men, get bored with monogamy more quickly than men. So here's to the woman who are patient with their husbands even though their husbands are boring sexual partners.

I love the instant flip-flop here from "women get bored" to "men are boring". Such agile mental gymnastics! Transformed it from a suggestion that women might be to blame - which is of course unthinkable on DCUM - into "really it's all men's fault" - in accordance with the basic principle of DCUM (namely, that any relationship, marital, or sexual problem is always 100% the man's fault).

Heidi Klum cheated on Seal. Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson. Were those guys boring? You can be a rock star or a movie star, and still the woman gets bored.

No one's arguing. Biologically it makes sense since women have mated and reared a child(ren) with one man and want to move on and see how their genes mingle with someone else. I don't know why we've bent over backwards to keep up this fake narrative of men spreading their seed only. Oh wait, I DO know, to justify men's infidelity and label women as selfish whores if they want a new flavor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad that many women here are shrugging their shoulders and saying "yeah if you want to keep your man happy gotta put out even if you don't feel like it, I'm teaching my daughters the same thing." Good grief.

Ladies you can do better.

He has to listen to your incessant emoting and chatter about people and things he doesn't care about. He does this just to keep you happy. So both sides have to make compromises.

Yeah no. He cares about things that are important enough to me to talk about them.

Good lord apparently the world abounds in shitty marriages.

For the most part, yes, it does. Most people are selfish, and you have competing selfish desires, so of course, you will have conflict.

You can have two self-interested people who have conflicts in a relationship and have a way better marriage everybody here who is saying that men only want one thing.

I think the point isn’t that men only want one thing. The point is that is the most important thing. For example, work and kids can be priorities but only after sex part is fulfilled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so sad that many women here are shrugging their shoulders and saying "yeah if you want to keep your man happy gotta put out even if you don't feel like it, I'm teaching my daughters the same thing." Good grief.

Ladies you can do better.

It's reality though. If you need the trash removed it needs to be taken to the curb. If you want to pass a test you have to study. If you want the benefits of a marriage you often have to do things you don't want to. It may be in-law related, or duty sex.

Having sex is not the same as taking out the trash. Taking out the trash improves how you feel, duty sex makes you feel like shit. I'm truly sorry for anybody who thinks that duty sex is a requirement for a good marriage. It's not.

Want to avoid duty sex? Here is a simple solution that is 100% on YOU women: marry a man who exactly matches YOUR sex drive... then (and here is the important part) DO NOT LOSE INTEREST.

So don't go marrying a normal man, one who wants regular sex, then complain about "duty sex" when it is YOU who lost interest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex seemed like such a small part of the marriage until my wife lost interest. Now it's the black cloud over the marriage. For those who see it as a trivial or only semi important factor, wait till your marriage goes cold then come chime in here.

Some wives lose interest in sex. Unsurprisingly, their husbands lose interest in monogamy. It all evens out though.

The older I get, the clearer it becomes to me that wives lose interest in sex WITH THEIR HUSBANDS.

Yes, we know, that was never the question. So what? It's the same solution for him: go elsewhere.

In fact, the point you just raised it what makes it so fun and easy for him: imagine a world full of married wives who have lost interest in sex WITH THEIR HUSBANDS.
This is actually fantastic news!! It means typical married dude has an entire world full of sexually interested married women..... he will have LOTS OF SEX (just not with his own wife).