Anonymous
09/10/2019 16:38
Subject: Re:What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
- that my mother was not capable of loving me, and I was not loved. It was loving my own DD that made me realise this. I also learned to appreciate how damaged my parents were.
-that it's largely a crapshoot what kind of kid you get. You parent the child you have.
-that it's largely a crapshoot what kind of kid you get. You parent the child you have.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 16:35
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:I'm further down the chain (HS kids) and it's cliche to say kids grow up so fast, but they really do once they hit a certain age. Time goes on warp speed once the kid hits sixth grade. Buckle up. Before you know it, they are in 10th grade signing up for driver's ed and college looms on the horizon. 6th-10th grade goes by in the blink of an eye!
My oldest just started 6th grade and I was just thinking this. It makes me sad, but also excited because she’s an awesome kid and I’m excited to see what kind of a teen and adult she turns into.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 16:32
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I didn't release how important it is to step back and let my children have control over something. I was the helicopter video running during everything mom. Then I watched my children sort of withdrawal from the fun. Once I put down the phone and let them be at the playground, at ice skating, etc they seemed alot happier. I am accepting that I may have a few moments undocumented but both of us living in real time is what makes the memories special in the first place.
Yeah I don't understand this obsessive need to take 50000000 pics of every kid every day plus videos. How many pics and videos do you have of yourself eating pancakes or putting on your raincoat or picking up your backpack? Do we really need to document EVERY moment lest we forget it?? Guaranteed you don't have even 1/10 of the pics of yourself that your kid has of himself, yet somehow you survived.
It's kind of the opposite for me. My kids were (i guess) very independent. So I was literally just sitting there so I was bored so I took pictures and video. What else was there to do? I did not feel like I could read a book and totally not watch them.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 16:32
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’ve become more acutely aware of how selfish and neglectful one of my parents was.
Similar, but becoming a parent has made me realized that yes, my father was abusive and that my mother did nothing about it.
Having my first child made me come to terms with how f*cked up my parents were.
Me too, in some ways. I think I now appreciate BOTH how hard it was for my parents AND how much they were kind of f*cked up. My mother lives near us and my kids see her all the time and it in some ways it is kind of validating to see that they are bothered by the exact same behaviors that bothered me as a child. Made me realize: no, I wasn't just an ungrateful brat, she really IS very difficult.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 16:30
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:That sleep deprivation is torture.
Same. One BIG reason we aren’t having any more.
Also, like a pp said, kids are born with their own personalities and you maybe able to influence them to some extent, but that’s it.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 16:29
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:I didn't release how important it is to step back and let my children have control over something. I was the helicopter video running during everything mom. Then I watched my children sort of withdrawal from the fun. Once I put down the phone and let them be at the playground, at ice skating, etc they seemed alot happier. I am accepting that I may have a few moments undocumented but both of us living in real time is what makes the memories special in the first place.
Yeah I don't understand this obsessive need to take 50000000 pics of every kid every day plus videos. How many pics and videos do you have of yourself eating pancakes or putting on your raincoat or picking up your backpack? Do we really need to document EVERY moment lest we forget it?? Guaranteed you don't have even 1/10 of the pics of yourself that your kid has of himself, yet somehow you survived.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 16:22
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:I’ve become more acutely aware of how selfish and neglectful one of my parents was.
Similar, but becoming a parent has made me realized that yes, my father was abusive and that my mother did nothing about it.
Having my first child made me come to terms with how f*cked up my parents were.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 16:17
Subject: Re:What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:I was one of those people who got embarrassed about everything and did not want to call attention to myself. Now you can find me crouched in a public toilet stall reciting Little Blue Truck so my 2 year old can relax enough to poop.
Hahahaha same! Now I DGAF.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 16:15
Subject: Re:What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
I totally get why my mom occasionally yelled at us when we didn't listen the first time.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 15:48
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is just for fun!
Before I was a parent I thought parents sat in the back with their babies because they couldn't stand to leave their precious poopkins alone in back, and I thought they were overly indulgent nuts. Now I get that its for your own sake to keep the baby from screaming the whole way and I'm totally riding in back to save my sanity
Before I had 2 I didn't really see why screentime was necessary - now I'm all over the ipad for my 2yo to give me 15minutes to get baby down and give him a little 1:1 love
I never rode in the back.
Same. I still equate it with overly indulgent.
Oh FFS - then you didn't have a screamer. I'm sure you now other things to survive the day that other people judge
Another extremely valid reason to sit in the back is to keep your kid from falling asleep until you get home, so you can go for a long crib nap rather than a 10 minute car nap.
Nope, never did that either. I’ve never prevented a child from sleeping. That is just weird to me.
Eh, good for you. We were coming home from my husband’s work event the other day, and it was close to the baby’s naptime. Just a 10 minute drive but I knew she might conk out in the car, which would disrupt her sleep schedule for the rest of the day. So I sat next to her for the car ride and made silly faces/played peekaboo for the car trip. She had a great nap when we got home and got much better rest than she would have in the car. In my mind, amusing her so she’d stay up 10 more minutes was best for her overall well-being. It wasn’t “keeping a child from sleeping,” it was taking steps to give her a chance at a better sleep experience.
Oh I totally had that kid too -- if she fell asleep for 5 minutes, there would be no nap or no regular bedtime, depending on what was coming up. Imagine having dinner with the grandparents and then driving home and the 5 minute car nap means she falls asleep at 9 pm instead of 7? Joy. This just goes to show that all kids are different. My second never had this problem.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 15:41
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is just for fun!
Before I was a parent I thought parents sat in the back with their babies because they couldn't stand to leave their precious poopkins alone in back, and I thought they were overly indulgent nuts. Now I get that its for your own sake to keep the baby from screaming the whole way and I'm totally riding in back to save my sanity
Before I had 2 I didn't really see why screentime was necessary - now I'm all over the ipad for my 2yo to give me 15minutes to get baby down and give him a little 1:1 love
I never rode in the back.
Same. I still equate it with overly indulgent.
Oh FFS - then you didn't have a screamer. I'm sure you now other things to survive the day that other people judge
Another extremely valid reason to sit in the back is to keep your kid from falling asleep until you get home, so you can go for a long crib nap rather than a 10 minute car nap.
Nope, never did that either. I’ve never prevented a child from sleeping. That is just weird to me.
Eh, good for you. We were coming home from my husband’s work event the other day, and it was close to the baby’s naptime. Just a 10 minute drive but I knew she might conk out in the car, which would disrupt her sleep schedule for the rest of the day. So I sat next to her for the car ride and made silly faces/played peekaboo for the car trip. She had a great nap when we got home and got much better rest than she would have in the car. In my mind, amusing her so she’d stay up 10 more minutes was best for her overall well-being. It wasn’t “keeping a child from sleeping,” it was taking steps to give her a chance at a better sleep experience.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 14:59
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s not as easy as “well, tell them not to do that”. And also you don’t know what someone is going through...
Mine has an eating issue (psychological related) and I’m constantly told “just don’t give her food” - Starving a child is called child abuse...we are working with a psychologist, dr and dietitian...its a lot more complex than “don’t let her eat the cupcake at the party”
And like pp said - no two kids are the same.
So I take it your child is overweight? What is the psychological reason?
Not letting your child have a cupcake is not starving your child at all. Replace junk with heathy foods - it starts from Day 1.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 14:57
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is just for fun!
Before I was a parent I thought parents sat in the back with their babies because they couldn't stand to leave their precious poopkins alone in back, and I thought they were overly indulgent nuts. Now I get that its for your own sake to keep the baby from screaming the whole way and I'm totally riding in back to save my sanity
Before I had 2 I didn't really see why screentime was necessary - now I'm all over the ipad for my 2yo to give me 15minutes to get baby down and give him a little 1:1 love
I never rode in the back.
Same. I still equate it with overly indulgent.
Oh FFS - then you didn't have a screamer. I'm sure you now other things to survive the day that other people judge
Another extremely valid reason to sit in the back is to keep your kid from falling asleep until you get home, so you can go for a long crib nap rather than a 10 minute car nap.
Nope, never did that either. I’ve never prevented a child from sleeping. That is just weird to me.
Anonymous
09/10/2019 14:54
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
Anonymous wrote:It’s not as easy as “well, tell them not to do that”. And also you don’t know what someone is going through...
Mine has an eating issue (psychological related) and I’m constantly told “just don’t give her food” - Starving a child is called child abuse...we are working with a psychologist, dr and dietitian...its a lot more complex than “don’t let her eat the cupcake at the party”
And like pp said - no two kids are the same.
So I take it your child is overweight? What is the psychological reason?
Anonymous
09/10/2019 14:33
Subject: What didn't you understand until you were a parent and now you do
How it feels to love someone more than life itself.