Thinking of you OP, what did you decide to do?

Thinking of you Op. Hope you are doing o.k.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, our custody arrangement during separation is I have my son M-F and my ex has his most weekends, so I am the primary parent. I have had a few jobs, but got married out of school and was a housewife before kids and a caregiver to both my parents for over a decade before they both died from cancer.

^This right here is why Op was not working earlier.

Still pretty odd. So right from college graduation to "housewife" with no kids for multiple years, then still home, caring for parents? Unfortunately, I have many friends who dealt with parents with cancer in their 20's, but they all worked. Some even took leaves of absence for caregiving, but no one just...stopped straight out of undergrad and did nothing but wifely home and parent healthcare for 18+ years.

You can not be a full time caregiver to a sick parent AND work. Most 20 somethings can not take long leaves of absences from work to care for a sick parent. Obviously Op stopped working altogether and was able to become a full time caregiver to her parents while remaining on her dh's health insurance. And she did this for a decade. A few years ago they had a child and Op continued to SAH with her child. Now she is divorcing and she doesn't have much in the way of a recent work history. It is what it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, our custody arrangement during separation is I have my son M-F and my ex has his most weekends, so I am the primary parent. I have had a few jobs, but got married out of school and was a housewife before kids and a caregiver to both my parents for over a decade before they both died from cancer.

^This right here is why Op was not working earlier.

Still pretty odd. So right from college graduation to "housewife" with no kids for multiple years, then still home, caring for parents? Unfortunately, I have many friends who dealt with parents with cancer in their 20's, but they all worked. Some even took leaves of absence for caregiving, but no one just...stopped straight out of undergrad and did nothing but wifely home and parent healthcare for 18+ years.

Agreed. It’s also odd that she got married out of school but they waited 18ish years to have their only child. Why would you get married so young and then wait to have a child when you’re 40? Clearly it’s not due to infertility. There’s so much that doesn’t add up here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, our custody arrangement during separation is I have my son M-F and my ex has his most weekends, so I am the primary parent. I have had a few jobs, but got married out of school and was a housewife before kids and a caregiver to both my parents for over a decade before they both died from cancer.

^This right here is why Op was not working earlier.

Still pretty odd. So right from college graduation to "housewife" with no kids for multiple years, then still home, caring for parents? Unfortunately, I have many friends who dealt with parents with cancer in their 20's, but they all worked. Some even took leaves of absence for caregiving, but no one just...stopped straight out of undergrad and did nothing but wifely home and parent healthcare for 18+ years.

I know a woman who did this. Got married about a year after college, worked for another year or two, and then quit her job to be a housewife. She and her husband both loved it. Then a few years later they started having kids. Not saying it would work for me, but there are certainly people out there who prefer to have one partner at home full-time even when kids aren't around. The woman I know who is in this situation would also be in a lot of trouble if she had to suddenly find work at 40 years old with no work history.