Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

I think you might be surprised. We hire almost nothing done. I'm mid 50's and I'm still scrubbing floors, trimming shrubs, hauling yard debris around...

+1 In my late 40s; DH in his 50s.

Yardwork is generally a 1 day a week chore; scrubbing floors? We only did that when we had toddler food fights — why not just get a mop?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Spoken like someone who either doesn't have older kids or is a troll.

I get it.. when my kids were younger, I thought that I would have more free time as they got older. I was wrong. The needs are just different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

I think you might be surprised. We hire almost nothing done. I'm mid 50's and I'm still scrubbing floors, trimming shrubs, hauling yard debris around...

+1 In my late 40s; DH in his 50s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

I think you might be surprised. We hire almost nothing done. I'm mid 50's and I'm still scrubbing floors, trimming shrubs, hauling yard debris around...

So if you are doing all the yard work, and apparently have a very messy husband that requires scrubbing floors, I see why working with suck. Definitely quit and just find a way to relax.

I have 3 dogs and two teenagers. The kids help out around the house especially during the summer but once school is in session they need to spend their time on schoolwork and their various activities. They aren't super messy but when you have two extra people eating, sleeping, showering, shaving, hanging out in the house it does create extra work. Of course it does.

Completely understand. I know teenage boys don’t do household chores; I had it easy and my teenage daughters had their own responsibilities for house care b/c I wanted them ready to live on their own and take care of a house and husband. They did well in school and did lots of sports but I still felt it was part of their ‘career’ prep.

3 dogs? That just seems like you want to make your life hard? Were they dumped on you by an old relative?

My teenage boys do help out around the house. They know how to do laundry, how to cook, clean, do yard work, etc. But during the school year there is a lot going on for them and there is a limit to the amount of household chores that we expect from them. I'd rather they spend their time studying for that AP class or participating in a fund raiser or getting their volunteer hours squared away.

As far as our dogs go, we got them each about 4 years apart. We totally adore them and they are beloved members of our family - they do shed and track dirt in. I don't mind cleaning up after them but if I didn't vacuum every day and mop floors as needed our house would get gross in a hurry...

Yeah my daughters didn’t take AP or volunteer so are condemned to UVA rather than Duke, sadly.

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate, I mean people totally understand when you say you have 3 dogs at home at can’t work full time. It’s like 3 toddlers!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

I think you might be surprised. We hire almost nothing done. I'm mid 50's and I'm still scrubbing floors, trimming shrubs, hauling yard debris around...

So if you are doing all the yard work, and apparently have a very messy husband that requires scrubbing floors, I see why working with suck. Definitely quit and just find a way to relax.

I have 3 dogs and two teenagers. The kids help out around the house especially during the summer but once school is in session they need to spend their time on schoolwork and their various activities. They aren't super messy but when you have two extra people eating, sleeping, showering, shaving, hanging out in the house it does create extra work. Of course it does.

Completely understand. I know teenage boys don’t do household chores; I had it easy and my teenage daughters had their own responsibilities for house care b/c I wanted them ready to live on their own and take care of a house and husband. They did well in school and did lots of sports but I still felt it was part of their ‘career’ prep.

3 dogs? That just seems like you want to make your life hard? Were they dumped on you by an old relative?

My teenage boys do help out around the house. They know how to do laundry, how to cook, clean, do yard work, etc. But during the school year there is a lot going on for them and there is a limit to the amount of household chores that we expect from them. I'd rather they spend their time studying for that AP class or participating in a fund raiser or getting their volunteer hours squared away.

As far as our dogs go, we got them each about 4 years apart. We totally adore them and they are beloved members of our family - they do shed and track dirt in. I don't mind cleaning up after them but if I didn't vacuum every day and mop floors as needed our house would get gross in a hurry...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

I think you might be surprised. We hire almost nothing done. I'm mid 50's and I'm still scrubbing floors, trimming shrubs, hauling yard debris around...

So if you are doing all the yard work, and apparently have a very messy husband that requires scrubbing floors, I see why working with suck. Definitely quit and just find a way to relax.

I have 3 dogs and two teenagers. The kids help out around the house especially during the summer but once school is in session they need to spend their time on schoolwork and their various activities. They aren't super messy but when you have two extra people eating, sleeping, showering, shaving, hanging out in the house it does create extra work. Of course it does.

Completely understand. I know teenage boys don’t do household chores; I had it easy and my teenage daughters had their own responsibilities for house care b/c I wanted them ready to live on their own and take care of a house and husband. They did well in school and did lots of sports but I still felt it was part of their ‘career’ prep.

3 dogs? That just seems like you want to make your life hard? Were they dumped on you by an old relative?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

I think you might be surprised. We hire almost nothing done. I'm mid 50's and I'm still scrubbing floors, trimming shrubs, hauling yard debris around...

So if you are doing all the yard work, and apparently have a very messy husband that requires scrubbing floors, I see why working with suck. Definitely quit and just find a way to relax.

I have 3 dogs and two teenagers. The kids help out around the house especially during the summer but once school is in session they need to spend their time on schoolwork and their various activities. They aren't super messy but when you have two extra people eating, sleeping, showering, shaving, hanging out in the house it does create extra work. Of course it does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

I think you might be surprised. We hire almost nothing done. I'm mid 50's and I'm still scrubbing floors, trimming shrubs, hauling yard debris around...

So if you are doing all the yard work, and apparently have a very messy husband that requires scrubbing floors, I see why working with suck. Definitely quit and just find a way to relax.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

I think you might be surprised. We hire almost nothing done. I'm mid 50's and I'm still scrubbing floors, trimming shrubs, hauling yard debris around...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

Hardly. I found that the kids needed me differently when they were older. MS and HS needed more logistical support and strategy because of the kinds of programs and EC activities they were participating in, and more guidance and my continuous presence because of the various kinds of pressures and stressors in their daily lives.

One solution does not fit everyone. If money is not the motivator for working then it should be job satisfaction. Most people in this world work because they need the money. If they win the lottery they will quit working. And yes, if one could have help at home, and a full time educated SAH parent who is organizing and orchestrating everything from the family needs to social interactions, mental-physical wellbeing to the educational progress and direction of the kids, then it is fabulous for all concerned.

If you are at home, with lots of money but you are an alcoholic or snorting cocaine or are contributing to dysfunction in some other way - it really does not matter if you WOH or SAH, frankly then you are detrimental to the well-being of yourself and your family.



-DP

So you were developing strategy maps from 8-3 when they were at school? Then drove to school release to execute logistics of getting them to lacross practice and drama club, maybe videotaping to allow for nightly play by play reviews analyzing what they did wrong?

What hyperbole.

I’m sorry. I don’t doubt they need guidance and you need to mentally aware, but it’s a light touch on the tiller job. It is the hour and hours of young kids — your day is mostly your own to do whatever you want. Well, yeah don’t do illegal drugs??? Not sure how you went to THAT option??? Again, you tend to hyperbole — maybe try spending some time on fan fiction?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

Hardly. I found that the kids needed me differently when they were older. MS and HS needed more logistical support and strategy because of the kinds of programs and EC activities they were participating in, and more guidance and my continuous presence because of the various kinds of pressures and stressors in their daily lives.

One solution does not fit everyone. If money is not the motivator for working then it should be job satisfaction. Most people in this world work because they need the money. If they win the lottery they will quit working. And yes, if one could have help at home, and a full time educated SAH parent who is organizing and orchestrating everything from the family needs to social interactions, mental-physical wellbeing to the educational progress and direction of the kids, then it is fabulous for all concerned.

If you are at home, with lots of money but you are an alcoholic or snorting cocaine or are contributing to dysfunction in some other way - it really does not matter if you WOH or SAH, frankly then you are detrimental to the well-being of yourself and your family.



-DP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

I’m surprised if OP has a BIG job that they are doing the bulk of housekeeping or yard care. Most hire out majority work and do light daily maintenance.

So basically childcare and cooking, and then when children are older it’s clear sailing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

I said that she is probably doing much of the house cleaning, errand running and yard work. I didn't say that her husband did nothing. It's good that you help out on the home front, you should! But even with all that you do to help - your own laundry, changing the sheets, taking out the garbage, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner- your wife is still doing the bulk of the housecleaning, cooking, child care, errand running. My husband handled the lawn care and weeding. I trimmed shrubs, planted flowers, mulched, raked leaves. My husband also has always handled the majority of home repairs and snow shoveling. It's definitely a team effort.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work

OP kids are much older. They have been essential yet adults for almost a decade. Her days have been mostly idle and free except for maybe an evening carpoool

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Hecka yah, who wouldn’t love to have someone give them money to do whatever the heck they want all day? Of course I’m jealous!

WTF?

Kids in college, DH working and providing all the cash she needs for hobbies, volunteering, yoga and lunch. What is confusing about that?

Op is probably taking care of errands, most of the cooking, much of the cleaning and yard work. Even if she has a housekeeper and yard service (I do not) there are things that have to get done in between.

When her husband gets home from work he doesn't have to worry about what's for dinner or whether or not the dry cleaning needs to be picked up. All those little million and one things are taken care of so his life is made much easier, too. Sometimes it's worth doing w/o the extra income from a second earner, sometimes it's not. That's something that Op has to decide for herself.

What fantasy land is that? I have a SAH wife. I do my own laundry, change the sheets, take out garbage, clean up kitchen at night. My wife is not staying home to help me or to take care of stuff nights and weekends. She has a full time job 8-6 every day. Watching 3 kids, taking care of house and cooking. She is tech support, cook, nurse, driver, guidance counselor, etc all day.

She used to work and an office job is mental not physical. She is tired by time I get home full of energy from sitting down all day. I did it myself six weeks when wife was in before at with third I could not wait to get back to work