Anonymous
11/29/2019 21:14
Subject: Re:30 year old DH blowing up his life
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am still living with my STBX. We are attempting marriage counseling but he is still in denial about the 20+ women he has cheated on me with over the past 5 months. At least 3 of these women have been more as in he calls texts and took them out for food/drinks.
I just can’t wrap my head around it or understand how someone can go from loving me to this?
He never loved you. He loved an illusion. Just like you love an illusion of a person that is incapable of giving you what you desire, need, or deserve.
This is how pimps get women to hook on the street and give money to them. It’s truly mind control. Do not let any one thing ever have this level of power over the way you define and view yourself. You’re highly codependent, and should talk to someone that specializes in abuse and codependency.
Leave all this trash behind in 2019, OP.
Anonymous
11/29/2019 12:02
Subject: Re:30 year old DH blowing up his life
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know I need to leave. I can’t move on for some reason. I am in therapy but it doesn’t seem to be helping.I love him and can’t let go.
This isn't love. You need to move on. Life will be hell in this relationship. Only you can help yourself.
OP, you’re over-thinking this. I know, I have been in your shoes. All it takes to end things is to say it’s over and to walk out. It’s that simple. You don’t need a therapist to help you leave. (Frankly you are better off spending therapy money on a divorce lawyer at this point.) You can love him and still leave him. All it takes is walking out the door. Of course, you can plan a little first and pack a bag, take your name off key accounts and copy key documents and then walk out the door and things will go a little better for you.
Stop engaging him. You can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do already. Stop listening to his words and listen only to his consistent behaviors. Those are telling you it is time to leave.
Anonymous
11/28/2019 23:08
Subject: Re:30 year old DH blowing up his life
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know I need to leave. I can’t move on for some reason. I am in therapy but it doesn’t seem to be helping.
This isn't love. You need to move on. Life will be hell in this relationship. Only you can help yourself.
Anonymous
11/28/2019 21:05
Subject: Re:30 year old DH blowing up his life
Anonymous wrote:
I’ve consulted an attorney and am waiting for his next move.
I have no family here. So I am all alone this Thanksgiving.
Ok. If you are an immigrant then thanksgiving is not a meaningful holiday other than an excuse to whine.
In any case, you should be thanking your lucky stars that your husband revealed himself for the asshole he is now, before you had kids with him.
Cut him loose, pick yourself up off the floor, and live your life.
Anonymous
11/28/2019 20:26
Subject: Re:30 year old DH blowing up his life
Anonymous wrote:Last Thursday DH came home hammered at 4 am. I let him in and he was having trouble walking up the stairs. He was glued to his phone and was texting someone. I went to the kitchen and got him a glass of water. When I asked him who he was texting he said he will throw water in my face. I went to bed. He crashed on the couch.
I woke up and looked at his phone. Saw he had text messages from 2 girls Tessa and Allison. When he wakes up I ask him who the two girls are. He screams at me to leave him alone. I hold my own and say stop screaming at me and tell me who these girls are. He gets up and runs after me screaming and chases me into the bedroom saying I’m a psycho b*tch and he is going to kick me out of his house.
I lock the door.
After 30 minutes I step out and I ask him again to stop treating me like this. He now makes his hand into a fist and says he hates me and he is going to kick me out. I scream and run away. He runs and locks himself in the bedroom. I call 911.
The cops arrive. They do not make an arrest as nothing happened but they tell me to stay out of the house for a few hours.
I go to grab a coffee when I receive angry texts from him. “This is over. You called the cops on you!! You wanted to jeopardize my future!!i don’t feel safe in this marriage any more and I am leaving. I have contacted my attorney. I will not be paying your bills anymore!”
He has been gone for a week now with no contact except he randomly sends me pictures of the family dog. He is staying with his parents.
I’ve consulted an attorney and am waiting for his next move.
I have no family here. So I am all alone this Thanksgiving.
Dude likes to rage. Let him party.
Anonymous
11/28/2019 11:37
Subject: Re:30 year old DH blowing up his life
Last Thursday DH came home hammered at 4 am. I let him in and he was having trouble walking up the stairs. He was glued to his phone and was texting someone. I went to the kitchen and got him a glass of water. When I asked him who he was texting he said he will throw water in my face. I went to bed. He crashed on the couch.
I woke up and looked at his phone. Saw he had text messages from 2 girls Tessa and Allison. When he wakes up I ask him who the two girls are. He screams at me to leave him alone. I hold my own and say stop screaming at me and tell me who these girls are. He gets up and runs after me screaming and chases me into the bedroom saying I’m a psycho b*tch and he is going to kick me out of his house.
I lock the door.
After 30 minutes I step out and I ask him again to stop treating me like this. He now makes his hand into a fist and says he hates me and he is going to kick me out. I scream and run away. He runs and locks himself in the bedroom. I call 911.
The cops arrive. They do not make an arrest as nothing happened but they tell me to stay out of the house for a few hours.
I go to grab a coffee when I receive angry texts from him. “This is over. You called the cops on you!! You wanted to jeopardize my future!!i don’t feel safe in this marriage any more and I am leaving. I have contacted my attorney. I will not be paying your bills anymore!”
He has been gone for a week now with no contact except he randomly sends me pictures of the family dog. He is staying with his parents.
I’ve consulted an attorney and am waiting for his next move.
I have no family here. So I am all alone this Thanksgiving.
I woke up and looked at his phone. Saw he had text messages from 2 girls Tessa and Allison. When he wakes up I ask him who the two girls are. He screams at me to leave him alone. I hold my own and say stop screaming at me and tell me who these girls are. He gets up and runs after me screaming and chases me into the bedroom saying I’m a psycho b*tch and he is going to kick me out of his house.
I lock the door.
After 30 minutes I step out and I ask him again to stop treating me like this. He now makes his hand into a fist and says he hates me and he is going to kick me out. I scream and run away. He runs and locks himself in the bedroom. I call 911.
The cops arrive. They do not make an arrest as nothing happened but they tell me to stay out of the house for a few hours.
I go to grab a coffee when I receive angry texts from him. “This is over. You called the cops on you!! You wanted to jeopardize my future!!i don’t feel safe in this marriage any more and I am leaving. I have contacted my attorney. I will not be paying your bills anymore!”
He has been gone for a week now with no contact except he randomly sends me pictures of the family dog. He is staying with his parents.
I’ve consulted an attorney and am waiting for his next move.
I have no family here. So I am all alone this Thanksgiving.