Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear sorority people, how has this stuff even made your life better after you graduated?

to an outsider, it all sounds pretty pathetic

As a female engineer who moved for jobs and was in a male-dominated profession. my sorority alumni groups were very helpful. It was so nice to have a built in network in new cities and some social events already planned. How many times does a DCUM thread pop up lamenting how hard it is to make adult friends? Alumni groups help you make friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is like taking a trip to some exotic land. I am trying not to be judgemental...but this whole way of thinking is extremely foreign to me or anyone I ever met (and I am in my 60's). I had no idea it still went on or that there were parents who encouraged their children to "pursue" such goals in college.

We literally would not apply to any school that had a strong greek presence. Again, not saying our approach is superior in any way...but it IS interesting when presumably intelligent, well intentioned people come down on such different sides of an issue.

The exotic land you haven’t traveled to and don’t know a thing about is today’s college student: very different than the students of the 1960 and 70s. While it may be difficult to be in a top house at a few schools, most schools sororities are accessible (even the top ones) and a big part of social life. They aren’t pursuing a goal; they just want the friendships. Sororities are back in a big way! Some of the things that seem childish at rush when 18 (and just months from HS) are over by 2nd semester freshman year.

Anonymous wrote:I'm still stunned by this thread. Is your goal to send your daughter to the right southern college for an MRS degree? Or are you sending her to college to get a solid education so she can go on and do the work she wants to do, or grad work? I really don't understand this antiquated view.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What college?

There are campuses where rush is pretty straightforward and this would be massive overkill. And then there are the big southern schools where it may actually be useful.

+1. At a smaller school or a school that is less Greek, it’s not needed. You can find a lot of information on Pinterest/admitted student forums/etc. If the school does formal recruitment in the Spring semester (after they come back from winter break - less common but does happen at some schools), it’s probably not needed there either as your DD will have the whole Fall semester to get acquainted with the chapters on campus.

For a big Greek school though, it might be helpful. But I would still emphasize going into recruitment with a very open mind and not use the the consultant to try to get into one of the three or so top houses. She’ll have an overall better experience if she goes with the best fit house as opposed to gunning for the “top” chapter(s).

OTOH, if the girl is ambitious and really wants a top chapter because she wants that specific experience (social connections and easy access to the “best” guys with the biggest future earning potential), a consultant might be useful.

I say this as someone who knew nothing about Greek Life or how rich people control social networks post college and how disadvantaged you are if you are shut out of those networks.

+1

Especially since everyone knows that college is your best opportunity to find the most eligible mate you can.

And this, right here, is my problem with Southern sororities. The message you send your daughter the the most important thing she can invest in in college— in terms of money, and time and thought and planning and what she should work and sacrifice for— is landing the guy who will ensure her social standing and financial well being. In my world view, you should teach your daughter that college is the time to be investing those things in herself and her studies so that she can have a successful career and ensure her own financial success and social standing. It’s moms teaching their daughters to out themselves second to what “the right” men want. And there might be a useful place for networking and there is nothing inherently wrong with sororities that doesn’t pull resources that should be spend elsewhere.

At heart, many of these SEC sororities are about join the good sorority to meet a boy from the good fraternity so he will marry you and support you in the style to which you are accustomed. You are there to get an Mrs. And your own personal development is second to that. Before you’ve had a real chance to develop. It’s one thing to decide with your spouse auto offtrack and raise kids at 35. It’s another to never develop the skills, or even think about what you want out of life at the beginning of adulthood.

The truth is, it's both. You should be investing in yourself. Of course. That goes without saying. But it's also one of the easiest times to find a future husband. That's just reality. You may not like it but ignoring it doesn't make it go away.

Completely agree. As a yankee who attended an SEC school and fought tooth & nail to get into the best sorority I could get in, it PAID OFF. I met the right people, married well and now have a powerful alumni network for life. I've always been an "empowered women" who can support myself but also snagged the best guy to contribute to the bottom line.

It also taught me to take pride in my appearance and dress well which contributes to ANY women's confidence. Confidence=Success

Put on that Lilly pulitzer dress, wear your pearls, blow out that hair and give it your best shot!

Anonymous wrote:This thread is like taking a trip to some exotic land. I am trying not to be judgemental...but this whole way of thinking is extremely foreign to me or anyone I ever met (and I am in my 60's). I had no idea it still went on or that there were parents who encouraged their children to "pursue" such goals in college.

We literally would not apply to any school that had a strong greek presence. Again, not saying our approach is superior in any way...but it IS interesting when presumably intelligent, well intentioned people come down on such different sides of an issue.

Anonymous wrote:I'm still stunned by this thread. Is your goal to send your daughter to the right southern college for an MRS degree? Or are you sending her to college to get a solid education so she can go on and do the work she wants to do, or grad work? I really don't understand this antiquated view.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What college?

There are campuses where rush is pretty straightforward and this would be massive overkill. And then there are the big southern schools where it may actually be useful.

+1. At a smaller school or a school that is less Greek, it’s not needed. You can find a lot of information on Pinterest/admitted student forums/etc. If the school does formal recruitment in the Spring semester (after they come back from winter break - less common but does happen at some schools), it’s probably not needed there either as your DD will have the whole Fall semester to get acquainted with the chapters on campus.

For a big Greek school though, it might be helpful. But I would still emphasize going into recruitment with a very open mind and not use the the consultant to try to get into one of the three or so top houses. She’ll have an overall better experience if she goes with the best fit house as opposed to gunning for the “top” chapter(s).

OTOH, if the girl is ambitious and really wants a top chapter because she wants that specific experience (social connections and easy access to the “best” guys with the biggest future earning potential), a consultant might be useful.

I say this as someone who knew nothing about Greek Life or how rich people control social networks post college and how disadvantaged you are if you are shut out of those networks.

+1

Especially since everyone knows that college is your best opportunity to find the most eligible mate you can.

And this, right here, is my problem with Southern sororities. The message you send your daughter the the most important thing she can invest in in college— in terms of money, and time and thought and planning and what she should work and sacrifice for— is landing the guy who will ensure her social standing and financial well being. In my world view, you should teach your daughter that college is the time to be investing those things in herself and her studies so that she can have a successful career and ensure her own financial success and social standing. It’s moms teaching their daughters to out themselves second to what “the right” men want. And there might be a useful place for networking and there is nothing inherently wrong with sororities that doesn’t pull resources that should be spend elsewhere.

At heart, many of these SEC sororities are about join the good sorority to meet a boy from the good fraternity so he will marry you and support you in the style to which you are accustomed. You are there to get an Mrs. And your own personal development is second to that. Before you’ve had a real chance to develop. It’s one thing to decide with your spouse auto offtrack and raise kids at 35. It’s another to never develop the skills, or even think about what you want out of life at the beginning of adulthood.

The truth is, it's both. You should be investing in yourself. Of course. That goes without saying. But it's also one of the easiest times to find a future husband. That's just reality. You may not like it but ignoring it doesn't make it go away.

Completely agree. As a yankee who attended an SEC school and fought tooth & nail to get into the best sorority I could get in, it PAID OFF. I met the right people, married well and now have a powerful alumni network for life. I've always been an "empowered women" who can support myself but also snagged the best guy to contribute to the bottom line.

It also taught me to take pride in my appearance and dress well which contributes to ANY women's confidence. Confidence=Success

Put on that Lilly pulitzer dress, wear your pearls, blow out that hair and give it your best shot!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is interested in sororities but having read this thread, it sounds like it’s impossible to get into a top house in the SEC without connections- eg, southern high school, southern family/connections/friends to advocate for you. Are there any other schools/regions!where it is similarly competitive?

Hmmm, I dont think its true that you have to have connections or to have gown to a southern high school to get into a top house. DD attended a private day school in Philadelphia. A few kids each year go to SEC schools, ex South Carolina, Alabama, Auburn over the last 3 years. Almost all have joined sororities without specific connections. From the look of things on instagram you can see the sororities they join broadly align with the type of kid they were in high school -- popular outgoing, nice kid, friendly, etc. I dont think sororities are devil or the best things since sliced bread; they are what they are. If you want to rush, do it; dont be intimidated out of the process by wild rumors.

+1. The familial, “do you have a recognizable last name” connections are a little important, maybe in a “tiebreaker” sense, but in the end two things are true: 1) there are far more OOS students at Alabama/Georgia/Florida/Clemson/etc. now than there were in the 80s and 90s, and 2) the sororities aren’t going to pass up a great candidate just because she’s not from that state or because her family isn’t “known.”

I took a quick glance at the exec board of a sorority chapter at Alabama, and only 3 of the I think 10 girls were from Alabama and 3 weren’t from the South at all (Illinois, Maryland, and California).

Yes and no. You can definitely get in *a* sorority at Bama/Clemson/Auburn/etc. if you are not from the south; there are many chapters known to be "OOS" chapters where the majority of girls aren't from said state or even the south. But...there ARE sororities where you will be passed up if you're not from the state (or at least a neighboring one) or didn't go to a certain high school. At Alabama they have "Old Row" and "New Row" with the Old Row sororities being the Southern Belles and you're just not getting in if that's not you. (Which, if you didn't grow up with that lifestyle, or as part of that group, not sure why you would want to get in, anyway.)

The sorority you looked up is definitely new row.

I am pp above speaking about my daughter's classmates from Philadelphia. I just checked; classmate is in a sorority listed as "old row" here: https://www.greekrank.com/uni/91/topic/1358076/old-row-vs-new-row/

Is it a leg up to be from a "known" high school, community, southern state etc., absolutely. Is it imperative, no way. Its the same with college admissions; ppl want to hype up and say its impossible to get into a top 30 college w/o a hook or perfect GPA but 100s of thousands of people are admitted each year. Its constrained but not impossible

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What college?

There are campuses where rush is pretty straightforward and this would be massive overkill. And then there are the big southern schools where it may actually be useful.

+1. At a smaller school or a school that is less Greek, it’s not needed. You can find a lot of information on Pinterest/admitted student forums/etc. If the school does formal recruitment in the Spring semester (after they come back from winter break - less common but does happen at some schools), it’s probably not needed there either as your DD will have the whole Fall semester to get acquainted with the chapters on campus.

For a big Greek school though, it might be helpful. But I would still emphasize going into recruitment with a very open mind and not use the the consultant to try to get into one of the three or so top houses. She’ll have an overall better experience if she goes with the best fit house as opposed to gunning for the “top” chapter(s).

OTOH, if the girl is ambitious and really wants a top chapter because she wants that specific experience (social connections and easy access to the “best” guys with the biggest future earning potential), a consultant might be useful.

I say this as someone who knew nothing about Greek Life or how rich people control social networks post college and how disadvantaged you are if you are shut out of those networks.

+1

Especially since everyone knows that college is your best opportunity to find the most eligible mate you can.

And this, right here, is my problem with Southern sororities. The message you send your daughter the the most important thing she can invest in in college— in terms of money, and time and thought and planning and what she should work and sacrifice for— is landing the guy who will ensure her social standing and financial well being. In my world view, you should teach your daughter that college is the time to be investing those things in herself and her studies so that she can have a successful career and ensure her own financial success and social standing. It’s moms teaching their daughters to out themselves second to what “the right” men want. And there might be a useful place for networking and there is nothing inherently wrong with sororities that doesn’t pull resources that should be spend elsewhere.

At heart, many of these SEC sororities are about join the good sorority to meet a boy from the good fraternity so he will marry you and support you in the style to which you are accustomed. You are there to get an Mrs. And your own personal development is second to that. Before you’ve had a real chance to develop. It’s one thing to decide with your spouse auto offtrack and raise kids at 35. It’s another to never develop the skills, or even think about what you want out of life at the beginning of adulthood.

The truth is, it's both. You should be investing in yourself. Of course. That goes without saying. But it's also one of the easiest times to find a future husband. That's just reality. You may not like it but ignoring it doesn't make it go away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:O-M-F-G

This falls into the category of "things I didn't know existed but helps prove the end of civilized society as we know it."

Agreed. This makes me feel like we'd have been better off had we let the South go while we had the chance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is interested in sororities but having read this thread, it sounds like it’s impossible to get into a top house in the SEC without connections- eg, southern high school, southern family/connections/friends to advocate for you. Are there any other schools/regions!where it is similarly competitive?

Hmmm, I dont think its true that you have to have connections or to have gown to a southern high school to get into a top house. DD attended a private day school in Philadelphia. A few kids each year go to SEC schools, ex South Carolina, Alabama, Auburn over the last 3 years. Almost all have joined sororities without specific connections. From the look of things on instagram you can see the sororities they join broadly align with the type of kid they were in high school -- popular outgoing, nice kid, friendly, etc. I dont think sororities are devil or the best things since sliced bread; they are what they are. If you want to rush, do it; dont be intimidated out of the process by wild rumors.

+1. The familial, “do you have a recognizable last name” connections are a little important, maybe in a “tiebreaker” sense, but in the end two things are true: 1) there are far more OOS students at Alabama/Georgia/Florida/Clemson/etc. now than there were in the 80s and 90s, and 2) the sororities aren’t going to pass up a great candidate just because she’s not from that state or because her family isn’t “known.”

I took a quick glance at the exec board of a sorority chapter at Alabama, and only 3 of the I think 10 girls were from Alabama and 3 weren’t from the South at all (Illinois, Maryland, and California).

Yes and no. You can definitely get in *a* sorority at Bama/Clemson/Auburn/etc. if you are not from the south; there are many chapters known to be "OOS" chapters where the majority of girls aren't from said state or even the south. But...there ARE sororities where you will be passed up if you're not from the state (or at least a neighboring one) or didn't go to a certain high school. At Alabama they have "Old Row" and "New Row" with the Old Row sororities being the Southern Belles and you're just not getting in if that's not you. (Which, if you didn't grow up with that lifestyle, or as part of that group, not sure why you would want to get in, anyway.)

The sorority you looked up is definitely new row.