Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We enjoy our kids so we bring them. But it makes it much more expensive. We have 3.

And we typically have to d Airbnb over a luxe hotel.

NEWSFLASH.

Those of us that do trips without our kids ALSO enjoy our kids. Good lord people. Why is it so hard to comprehend that you can adore your children and still value time away from them???

I don’t value my time away from them. It makes me sad to be away from them.

I'm PP. Just discussed this with a friend whose kids are about 10 years older than mine. Last year she traveled to France with her daughter who recently graduated from college. They had a great time together and the daughter was super appreciative because she now realizes how much a 10-day trip (non-budget/hostel) to Europe costs. She said she was really glad they had not spent their money on expensive trips back when the kids were little so that she can afford to do it now that they're older. They were good about saving money for retirement throughout life (probably instead of spending it to take 5 people to Stockholm) so they're now able to do expensive trips guilt-free.

My child has traveled internationally and domestically a LOT. Has been to places that are on many people's bucket lists. Just turned 15. The other day she complained that we'd gone on all these trips with her when she was little, and that was a waste because she either was too young to remember it or was too little to do all the fun things that people usually go there to do. Almost all the trips were for our jobs or for family visits and destination weddings, so they weren't really discretionary. But her comment reminded me of all the times she'd entertained herself with Matchbox cars at a world-famous place surrounded by priceless art, architecture, and vistas. Totally not a good use of money to take the average elementary school kid to Tahiti so she can play in the bathtub with a rubber boat.

I try to take one vacation with my DD every year and one without. I am unable to really relax on a vacation with my DD and a trip I may really want to go to, may not be ideal for her. For example, this year I'm going to San Diego for Comic Con and DD would not be able to keep up the pace needed for an event like that.

Not married, though I do agree that healthy marriages need time just for the couple to be together without kids.

Don’t know if kids want to see or hear what we do on vacation.

We go on about 4 big family trips a year with our two kids including usually 2 long abroad ones. We travel as a couple twice a year as well - short trips 2-3 nights. We have a 6yo and 4yo. Love traveling with them, but those solo trips are really really nice too and the kids love their time with the grandparents.

Anonymous wrote:Parents are people. Children should know and understand that. Some of the best times of my childhood was spending time with my grandparents and cousins. Also sleep away camp, which I did from 5 to 15. My parents didn't abandon me or hate me, in fact, as a tween I wished my mother was less helicopter-y, she was there ALL OF THE TIME, and taking time away to enjoy themselves was good for them.

Same! We didn't have a lot of money growing up and took fairly simple vacations but dad won a couple trips through his work to Australia and Hawaii. It covered two people only and they never could have afforded to take us, so we had a fun week with my grandma and aunt instead. Chocolate pancakes for dinner, movie nights, etc. It was good for them and I didnt feel abandoned at all.

Now as parents of two little ones we’ve been appreciative when my in-laws have offered to come visit and babysit. We don’t have local family so breaks are few and far between, of course we are going to take them up on it! Nothing fancy, we went skiing one time and another we just went to another city and visited art museums, breweries, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.

To neglect our relationship is to do a disservice to our kids.

I can't believe there are 10 pages on this thread. Lots of people like lots of different things. People's preferences may chance based on things like grandparent availability, age of kids, work status, amount of vacation, etc. Tolstoy was wrong -- happy families don't all look alike.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vacations are in way perfect for spending more time and connecting with your family, so why many people vacation without their kids? I am not trying to be judging, I want to understand what the thought process.

Because there are things I enjoy, and want to do, that my kids don't want to do, or aren't appropriate for them. And I see no reason why my spouse and I should have to wait 15 years to go wine tasting in Napa, for example.

Our kids stay with their grandparents, and all parties involved love the arrangements.

So, let me ask you - what is difficult to understand about this? Do you have a hard time interacting with your spouse if your kids aren't present? Do you need the kids as a buffer?

Nope. My kids are 20 and 18 now . We have a very strong marriage. Napa is not a necessity and is selfish. I would save that for when the kids are grown.

Do you know delayed gratification? Do you always put yourself first? You can manage without Napa.

You sound insufferable. Also the message your kids got may not be the one you thought you were sending by never prioritizing your marriage.

I do prioritize my marriage, I have been married 21 years. BUT I don't need to dump my kids off for a week to do that. Date night is good enough.

Pp probably doesn’t have a lot of money. Her kids are already adults so she has all the time in the world with her husband.

I have 3 young kids. I stay home. I spend so much time with my kids. There is no shortage of family time. My kids crawl into bed with us everyday. I love to travel with and without my kids. I love my girlfriend getaways, family vacations and DH only getaways.

Anonymous wrote:The answer is kinky, hot hotel sex. If you don’t get that now, give it a shot and report back.

+69

You can also get this with 1 night getaways. But it's better for days on end.

The answer is kinky, hot hotel sex. If you don’t get that now, give it a shot and report back.

Anonymous wrote:"why vacation without the kids?" said no parent of multiple kids... ever

+1.
I spend 51 weeks per year with my kids. It's ok if I want to spend 1 week per year without them.

Anonymous wrote:We enjoy our kids so we bring them. But it makes it much more expensive. We have 3.

And we typically have to d Airbnb over a luxe hotel.

NEWSFLASH.

Those of us that do trips without our kids ALSO enjoy our kids. Good lord people. Why is it so hard to comprehend that you can adore your children and still value time away from them???

We enjoy our kids so we bring them. But it makes it much more expensive. We have 3.

And we typically have to d Airbnb over a luxe hotel.