Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 19:39     Subject: standing meeting change that conflicts with drop-off
I can't believe people are still responding to this thread.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 19:20     Subject: standing meeting change that conflicts with drop-off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
OP, I wish you were able to see all that you do well, and get some help on your self-esteem. You are clearly a valued employee, if you have been there for 14 years and allowed to telework. EVERYONE has schedule conflicts. EVERYONE. And honestly, as a manager, I would be more than willing to work with you if I knew your husband was deployed and serving our country. BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT.


That's not every manager. Lots these days are understandably anti-military.

OP, I think you are past help. But I do want to address this misconception.

I am practically a pacifist, and I guess you can interpret that as being anti-military intervention. But that doesn't translate to our service men and women and their families. As a manager, I would bend over backward to accommodate your situation...and I'd actually be offended if you didn't think you could ask for my help.


This. I am a huge flaming liberal and also a manager of people. When one of my employee’s husbands was deployed, I told her just let me know any flexibility she needed. She did training remote, worked from home more often and obviously needed more leeway for kid sick days and school events than someone who shares those duties with a spouse. I would have moved recurring meetings for her if she asked.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 19:14     Subject: standing meeting change that conflicts with drop-off
I can't imagine I'm the only one who remembers this exact question being asked maybe a year or so ago.

Meeting moved up to 7am-check. DH deployed- check. No family/friends- check. No mobile service- check. Impossible situation- check.

The only real difference is that whole quitting-would-be-good-because-we-don't-need-money-and-DH-thinks-I-can-make-friends-if-I-don't-work spin. And, of course, quitting would allow you more time with DD, on your drop off, because, as you said, she's in school all day.

Maybe, OP, you should try to search for that thread. Lots of good advice, like here, that the OP rejected. Like you.



Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 15:42     Subject: standing meeting change that conflicts with drop-off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
OP, I wish you were able to see all that you do well, and get some help on your self-esteem. You are clearly a valued employee, if you have been there for 14 years and allowed to telework. EVERYONE has schedule conflicts. EVERYONE. And honestly, as a manager, I would be more than willing to work with you if I knew your husband was deployed and serving our country. BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT.


That's not every manager. Lots these days are understandably anti-military.

OP, I think you are past help. But I do want to address this misconception.

I am practically a pacifist, and I guess you can interpret that as being anti-military intervention. But that doesn't translate to our service men and women and their families. As a manager, I would bend over backward to accommodate your situation...and I'd actually be offended if you didn't think you could ask for my help.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 15:31     Subject: Re:standing meeting change that conflicts with drop-off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You came and asked for advice and are not interested in taking it. Your maturity level is lacking. You don't quit a job because of an issue with a call time. Comes across as insanely childish. Speak up, make it work. Find a compromise.


No one has offered advice that works! And I appreciate all of it, but it's a weird situation. If it was easy, if there were multiple solutions, I would have fixed it by now.

And yes - you do quit rather than making your personal life someone else's problem. My replacement won't have this issues.


You are irritating me but since you have reception AT the school, can't you take your kid to school and sit in the parking lot for the call, then head back home afterward?


No because she might get arrested or someone might look at her strangely.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 14:52     Subject: standing meeting change that conflicts with drop-off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I know you are struggling. I wish you the best.

Also, I'm going to say this bluntly, but hopefully gently as possible: handling things this way makes you a poorly functioning employee and a bad fit for this company at this time. To be clear, it's not the situation you are in (deployment, etc.) that makes you a poor employee, and it's not the idea of making that situation clear, as a regular adult would. It's the way you are choosing to handle it.

And yes, I know you have had a hard time and feel you have been treated poorly. Honestly, that doesn't matter to being good in your position -- it's your choices that are relevant to the fit, not the reasons for them.

But this is something you can change, if you find a way to tackle this in a way that hos the possibility of working out for everyone. Your therapist hopefully can help.

Good luck.


Yes. I know I'm a bad fit. So why would I continue working on at a company where I can't meet the requirements? They can replace me with someone who has no home life and no schedule conflicts.


OR they can replace you with someone who has a home life and knows that closed mouths don't get fed.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2019 14:22     Subject: Re:standing meeting change that conflicts with drop-off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You came and asked for advice and are not interested in taking it. Your maturity level is lacking. You don't quit a job because of an issue with a call time. Comes across as insanely childish. Speak up, make it work. Find a compromise.


No one has offered advice that works! And I appreciate all of it, but it's a weird situation. If it was easy, if there were multiple solutions, I would have fixed it by now.

And yes - you do quit rather than making your personal life someone else's problem. My replacement won't have this issues.


You are irritating me but since you have reception AT the school, can't you take your kid to school and sit in the parking lot for the call, then head back home afterward?
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2019 11:55     Subject: standing meeting change that conflicts with drop-off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So you came here to find some magical incantation so you can both drop off and attend the meeting at the same time. You need to get into therapy to figure out why you don’t want to reach out to people for help.
?


I don't need therapy to answer that. I ask for help, people say no. Even on DCUM, SAHM RAIL against working moms for daring to ask for a ride to school every so often. Why on earth would I subject myself to that face to face? Honest question.


Dcum is not real life. Many people are willing to help other people out, especially in an area with military people who understand deployments.