Oy vey, the matza balls that op has

Chutsvah

Good friends of mine who are ultra orthodox cams tomy wedding which included a full Catholic mass

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What?! You would put your family before your RELIGION? No way that’s crazy. They are all just going to hell anyway by supporting your “sister’s” impure marriage. Just do the right thing according to the Jewish rules and pretend she is dead. Of course you shouldn’t go to the wedding. It’s a shame she is doing this. The unhappiness and all. Sorry OP.

That is very cult like behavior

+1.

Sounds like OP is Dem and she's saying her sister is readybto vote Trump in 2020.

I get the impression that if sister was marrying a non practicing Jew it would be ok, but that is not the case.
Half breeds are not Jewish according to halacha, there is no way around that.
It would be interesting to know if the half children really are lost to Judaism, or if that is a myth promoted by the cult that op is part of.

Anonymous wrote:What?! You would put your family before your RELIGION? No way that’s crazy. They are all just going to hell anyway by supporting your “sister’s” impure marriage. Just do the right thing according to the Jewish rules and pretend she is dead. Of course you shouldn’t go to the wedding. It’s a shame she is doing this. The unhappiness and all. Sorry OP.

That is very cult like behavior

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is not an Orthodox-friendly board. Notice what is missing from all the horrified responses you are getting: anything about what Hashem wants, or what the Torah says to do, even if it's hard. It's all about what you feel, or what you like. That is the gap in understanding. Ask your rabbi and ignore this thread. There may be a heter to go and there may not. DCUM cannot pasken for you.

OP said from the get go that she was going to get that kind of advice from her Rabbi and others in her Orthodox community. She started thisnthread to also get advice from others, which we have almost unanimously provided.

Put it in the context of shalom bayit (peace in the family) and kibud av v em (honoring your parents). I was in a similar circumstance. I went to my brother's wedding to a non jew (and she was kind of a high needs person so the family wasn't thrilled aside from religion). It was 10 years ago and I'm still glad I went.

It feels like such a big deal now...but it really isn't... unless you don't go and irreparably damage your family relationships.

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(sympathetic C Jew again) To note the kids will be halachically Jewish (lets leave off with the "culturally Jewish" BS - the kids won't be speaking Yiddish, vaguely aware of Judaism is not "culturally Jewish") and at some point may have curiosity about Judaism. If you, OP, are involved in their lives, and can model a happy successful O life, they may be drawn either to O, or at least to some more Torah focused life.

I would also suggest you talk with an Orthodox rabbi familiar with the situation among non O in America (IE a mainstream modern O rabbi, esp one familiar with BT issues) Not sure a rabbi in Israel would be a good source on the sociology, even if you follow them on halacha.

So the kids are only worth being involved with if they are "halachically" Jewish through the mother? Such bullsh*t reasoning is why the numbers of Jews will decrease in the U.S. My son is not "halachically" Jewish because I (the mom) am not, but I make a lot of effort to educate him and expose him to the faith. If what you're intending is to alienate Jews and decrease your numbers, good job.

Good for you. However halachically Jewish kids will find an easier path to traditional Judaism, especially given that in this case the Jewish parent is an atheist so they will not be educated as Jews.

And that matters, why? Being obsessed with the gender of the Jewish parent only makes the child less likely to find their way to traditional Judaism, because it's so arbitrary. The only reason the path is easier for the halachically Jewish kid is because you discriminated against the non-halachic kid based solely on the gender of the Jewish parent.

You are correct. Interfaith marriages are the reason that Reform Judaism is dying out. While I think the OP is wrong if she doesn’t attend her sidter’s wedding, statistics show that there is a significant chance that her future nieces and nephews will not raise Jewish children.

You're ignoring the point: if Jewish congregations (of all types) were more welcoming to intermarriage and half-Jewish children, then numbers would grow.

On the contrary, Reform, reconstructionist and even conservative synagogues have bent over backwards to welcome everyone and anyone to keep their numbers strong to no avail. Interfaith marriages, same sex marriages, adoption without conversion. It’s not lack of acceptance. It’s the fact that these places of worship lack any seblance to actual religion.

Anecdata, I know, but:

I’m a Reformer Jew married to an atheist who was raised atheist by parents who were raised Methodist. DH considers himself “Jew-ish,” and has embraced our culture wholeheartedly. He even chants in Hebrew now. We’re raising our children Jewish.

Many of our friends are also in mixed marriages—almost all with one Jewish and one atheist/agnostic spouse from a Christian/Catholic background. All are committed to raising Jewish children. One family’s children even call them Ima and Abba.

Our Reform congregation is absolutely “actual religion.” Shabbat services are well-attended, especially Tot Shabbats and other events aimed at families. Holidays are traditionally celebrated. And we also adhere to the Reform tenets of tikkun olam and gemilut chasadim by doing service throughout our community. We are committed.

Ugh, sorry for the embarrassing typo!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(sympathetic C Jew again) To note the kids will be halachically Jewish (lets leave off with the "culturally Jewish" BS - the kids won't be speaking Yiddish, vaguely aware of Judaism is not "culturally Jewish") and at some point may have curiosity about Judaism. If you, OP, are involved in their lives, and can model a happy successful O life, they may be drawn either to O, or at least to some more Torah focused life.

I would also suggest you talk with an Orthodox rabbi familiar with the situation among non O in America (IE a mainstream modern O rabbi, esp one familiar with BT issues) Not sure a rabbi in Israel would be a good source on the sociology, even if you follow them on halacha.

So the kids are only worth being involved with if they are "halachically" Jewish through the mother? Such bullsh*t reasoning is why the numbers of Jews will decrease in the U.S. My son is not "halachically" Jewish because I (the mom) am not, but I make a lot of effort to educate him and expose him to the faith. If what you're intending is to alienate Jews and decrease your numbers, good job.

Good for you. However halachically Jewish kids will find an easier path to traditional Judaism, especially given that in this case the Jewish parent is an atheist so they will not be educated as Jews.

And that matters, why? Being obsessed with the gender of the Jewish parent only makes the child less likely to find their way to traditional Judaism, because it's so arbitrary. The only reason the path is easier for the halachically Jewish kid is because you discriminated against the non-halachic kid based solely on the gender of the Jewish parent.

You are correct. Interfaith marriages are the reason that Reform Judaism is dying out. While I think the OP is wrong if she doesn’t attend her sidter’s wedding, statistics show that there is a significant chance that her future nieces and nephews will not raise Jewish children.

You're ignoring the point: if Jewish congregations (of all types) were more welcoming to intermarriage and half-Jewish children, then numbers would grow.

On the contrary, Reform, reconstructionist and even conservative synagogues have bent over backwards to welcome everyone and anyone to keep their numbers strong to no avail. Interfaith marriages, same sex marriages, adoption without conversion. It’s not lack of acceptance. It’s the fact that these places of worship lack any seblance to actual religion.

Anecdata, I know, but:

I’m a Reformer Jew married to an atheist who was raised atheist by parents who were raised Methodist. DH considers himself “Jew-ish,” and has embraced our culture wholeheartedly. He even chants in Hebrew now. We’re raising our children Jewish.

Many of our friends are also in mixed marriages—almost all with one Jewish and one atheist/agnostic spouse from a Christian/Catholic background. All are committed to raising Jewish children. One family’s children even call them Ima and Abba.

Our Reform congregation is absolutely “actual religion.” Shabbat services are well-attended, especially Tot Shabbats and other events aimed at families. Holidays are traditionally celebrated. And we also adhere to the Reform tenets of tikkun olam and gemilut chasadim by doing service throughout our community. We are committed.