Anonymous wrote:I am home and my son is in kindergarten. I can always find something to fill my time, but I'm planning to look for something part time soon. I really like walking him to and from school and being there after school with him, but to be honest I do think "is this it?" when I think of just doing this forever. I am well educated and smart and enjoy intellectual conversation. Ideally I'll find something a few days a week or shorter hours that is stimulating for me. I know that I'm very lucky to have that flexibility.

For now though, I do all the housework, cooking etc. (that's sort of the tacit agreement since my husband makes the money) do errands, workout, and when I have time leftover I take on big house projects or personal projects. I don't ever turn on the tv, and rarely sit during the day. I'm far less sedentary than I was at my desk job. And we have weekends to do family hikes, activities, etc. because there isn't grocery shopping or other chores to be done.

Also - if anyone is seriously considering this - I would think about your community around you. There were lots of stay at home moms around me when my son was in preschool, but all my friends went back to work when their youngest hit kindergarten. If I have a community of friends who I could take walks with, meet up with, etc. I would probably feel a good deal less isolated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, very happy. Love being home. There is not that much time as one would think.

I was home for 11 years. I used to say this!!! Then I realized that I had the exact same “time” I have now (back to work) yet I only added 250k to the equation.


I am mao so much more efficient with my time now that I’m earning a living.

Anonymous wrote:Funny you should post this as I've been thinking the same thing. DC is starting Kindergarten, and I thought (several years ago) that at this point I'd be looking to ramp up at work, rather than scale back (or even leave the workforce). DH's career is on an upward trajectory. He makes a lot more money than he did a few years ago but he also works more hours and has less flexibility (there was never a lot, but now there's basically none). I don't see this changing. He's never going to split the snow days and sick days, be at home to deal with the home repair contractors, etc. He's never going to help with meals and housework when he's working long hours at the office and then coming home and working more after DC goes to bed. I also see that the elementary years entail a lot of driving to activities after school and on the weekends. It was easier when DC was younger as she never had anywhere to be in the evenings and we would hang out at home most of the time on the weekends. Now it's run, run, run. All of this is on me, and it's hard to have a job and feel like I'm giving it much energy when there's just no time for downtime, exercise, etc. I'm sick of being stressed out, sometimes to the point that I've actually become really ill (like illnesses that take months to recover from). DH makes good money and I have family money. So we don't need the money and it's hard to keep this up when I don't even really have the intrinsic motivation to give much energy at work. Why not just try to enjoy my life?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so pretty typical. Someone starts a thread asking stay-at-home parents if they are happy so that she can make a decision for herself, and some bitter nasties come in and start attacking stay-at-home parents for answering the question.

I am a working mom and the only reason I came to this red was to see the train wreck that other working moms would make it. I wasn't disappointed

I’ve been a full time working mom, a full time stay at home mom, and a part time working mom (but much closer to full time), so I have multiple perspectives on this and try not to take things personally. I definitely see the judgy comments about “why have kids if you aren’t going to parent themmmmm!!!” When a working mom posts about her and her spouse both having work travel or late night commitments or whatever, and those comments suck and make stay at home parents look really rude and backwards. But it really, honestly seems like there are MORE, as in a greater volume though probably not as overtly rude, sh*tty comments given toward stay at home moms. It’s sometimes disguised as concern trolling about your “finances” or “what if your husband leaves you what will you do then” or whatever, but it’s there. I really don’t get it. Can’t people accept that what works for one person/family might not work for another one?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the point of all these threads, anyway? It doesn’t make any stay at home moms suddenly want to go back to work when all the posts call them “lazy” and ask what they do all day, and it doesn’t make working moms want to stay home when people say that they’re “missing their kids childhood” or whatever. I mean even the woman working 10 or 15 hours a week or whatever it was in a professional job was crapped on. What’s the point?

It does make me feel a bit bad that people think I should be working but then I really think about it and if I’m going to work for the opinion of others and not what I want to do that would be ludicrous. I want to sahm, my kids and husband agree. We are happy this way and my situation is unique (as is everyone’s) but I wouldn’t trade it. We’ve done things we could not have otherwise in exchange for the pittance I would earn and the stress it would involve. I love doing all the things other kids have nanny’s do. I’m not knocking people who use them as my dh and many parents don’t enjoy doing some of these tasks. I would think it’s crazy for a high earner who doesn’t enjoy the daily kid stuff to stay home as much as it would be crazy for a low earner married to a high earner to work full time when they love being present for all the home,sports and school stuff.

Yes, you spend more time with your children, but most of us do work do not have nannies. We cook and clean and run errands, etc, we just have less time to do it. I like doing things for my family as well, working for pay (we are all working here) is not exclusive of "doing what nannies do"

Did you take that personally? Because you shouldn’t. It seems like nobody can express their personal thoughts without causing offense. If a wohm says she doesn’t want to be bored I assume they would be bored staying home. I don’t take it personally unless they say “you are bored”. I’m a big cheerleader for working moms. By “doing what nannies do” my main thoughts were of shuttling kids to sports practice and the doldrums. I guess I shouldn’t assume all working people are not as into that kind of thing as I am. Maybe many love it but don’t have as much time. I know plenty of sahms that loathe it so much they don’t even do extracurriculars but we enjoy it. I just mean to say I can choose and that’s my choice.

Anonymous wrote:so pretty typical. Someone starts a thread asking stay-at-home parents if they are happy so that she can make a decision for herself, and some bitter nasties come in and start attacking stay-at-home parents for answering the question.

I am a working mom and the only reason I came to this red was to see the train wreck that other working moms would make it. I wasn't disappointed

Anonymous wrote:so pretty typical. Someone starts a thread asking stay-at-home parents if they are happy so that she can make a decision for herself, and some bitter nasties come in and start attacking stay-at-home parents for answering the question.

I am a working mom and the only reason I came to this red was to see the train wreck that other working moms would make it. I wasn't disappointed

Anonymous wrote:so pretty typical. Someone starts a thread asking stay-at-home parents if they are happy so that she can make a decision for herself, and some bitter nasties come in and start attacking stay-at-home parents for answering the question.

I am a working mom and the only reason I came to this red was to see the train wreck that other working moms would make it. I wasn't disappointed