Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 10:20     Subject: Re:Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

You would think that, but as you're reading here, so many parents assume boys with August birthdays will start late. Even when my kid was a newborn, I had people say to me, "Well he'll be the oldest in his class since you can start him late". WTF?


People act like we're rebels for sending our septembers on time. This city is nuts.

Have you ever lived elsewhere? It's not just "this city" or affluent people...I spent the first 15 years of my education career (1995-2010) as a kindergarten teacher in a very middle class part of the Midwest (Appleton, WI area - 9/1 cutoff) and the vast majority of August boys went to school at a young 6 instead of young 5.


+1 My sister lives in a midwest city and held back my nephew with a May birthday because he was immature, both socially and physically, and she was concerned about the expectations of kindergarten and the conditions at their school -- K was a half-day program with 30 kids in a class and 1 teacher. An environment that would not be very supportive of a kid who needed a bit more support. My DS is over a year younger than his cousin with a late June birthday and we sent him on time so the boys are in the same grade.

I had no concerns about sending my late-June birthday boy on time when he was just-turned-5. I did question it later as there were years of impulsive behavior/immaturity issues which only later were ID'd as ADHD. While being younger can = more ADHD diagnoses, in our case it instead meant issues that should have been a flag for ADHD were instead written off as just being young. At the time I appreciated that our school wasn't one to rush to a diagnosis/push for medication but was great about implementing informal accommodations to help manage his "immaturity" but it also meant he didn't get an appropriate evaluation until high school.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 10:15     Subject: Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Here is what I don’t understand about all of these redshirting threads. People that believe that 1 extra year can be good for their kids because it will give them more time to mature, will hold their summer kids one year. Those that believe that redshirting is bad, will make kids bored, that is so bad to have An 18-19 year old in high school, will not redshirt.
There are so many decisions that we make for our kids (always what we believe is in their best interests). Are you raising your kids believeing in God, Santa, etc? Are you teaching them math and reading at 4 or waiting until they are in elementary school? We all have different beliefs on what is best for our own (specific) kid. Why do people care so much what other people do? Are the antiredshirted (that believe that redshirting will be a negative for the older kids) so invested in otherwise kids’ lives that worry so much about their parents making the wrong decision?
Now, if you (anti-redshirter) think that redshirting is actually good for those kids, but you can’t afford it for your own, then I see why this may be upsetting... but in his case redshirting is just like anything money can buy... tutors, vacations, private schools, etc.


The vitriolic posters are the ones looking to justify their own past decisions. The are transferring their doubt about their own choice into anger at parents who made a different choice.

This can’t be true... are they really do mean and vicious that they are trying to have other people make the same mistake they made? That’s horrible! I actually think that the more likely (though still not very nice) scenario is that the anti-redshirter parents have spring birthday kids that will end up being the youngest if all the summer kids are redshirted. It shows a lack of self awareness at best and a uber mean competitive spirit at worst
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 10:13     Subject: Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Here is what I don’t understand about all of these redshirting threads. People that believe that 1 extra year can be good for their kids because it will give them more time to mature, will hold their summer kids one year. Those that believe that redshirting is bad, will make kids bored, that is so bad to have An 18-19 year old in high school, will not redshirt.
There are so many decisions that we make for our kids (always what we believe is in their best interests). Are you raising your kids believeing in God, Santa, etc? Are you teaching them math and reading at 4 or waiting until they are in elementary school? We all have different beliefs on what is best for our own (specific) kid. Why do people care so much what other people do? Are the antiredshirted (that believe that redshirting will be a negative for the older kids) so invested in otherwise kids’ lives that worry so much about their parents making the wrong decision?
Now, if you (anti-redshirter) think that redshirting is actually good for those kids, but you can’t afford it for your own, then I see why this may be upsetting... but in his case redshirting is just like anything money can buy... tutors, vacations, private schools, etc.


The vitriolic posters are the ones looking to justify their own past decisions. The are transferring their doubt about their own choice into anger at parents who made a different choice.

Yes, this does seem to be the case. Seems to be parents secretly second guessing not holding back their kids, but instead of being introspective about it, they are lashing out at others.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 10:10     Subject: Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:Here is what I don’t understand about all of these redshirting threads. People that believe that 1 extra year can be good for their kids because it will give them more time to mature, will hold their summer kids one year. Those that believe that redshirting is bad, will make kids bored, that is so bad to have An 18-19 year old in high school, will not redshirt.
There are so many decisions that we make for our kids (always what we believe is in their best interests). Are you raising your kids believeing in God, Santa, etc? Are you teaching them math and reading at 4 or waiting until they are in elementary school? We all have different beliefs on what is best for our own (specific) kid. Why do people care so much what other people do? Are the antiredshirted (that believe that redshirting will be a negative for the older kids) so invested in otherwise kids’ lives that worry so much about their parents making the wrong decision?
Now, if you (anti-redshirter) think that redshirting is actually good for those kids, but you can’t afford it for your own, then I see why this may be upsetting... but in his case redshirting is just like anything money can buy... tutors, vacations, private schools, etc.


The vitriolic posters are the ones looking to justify their own past decisions. The are transferring their doubt about their own choice into anger at parents who made a different choice.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 10:04     Subject: Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Here is what I don’t understand about all of these redshirting threads. People that believe that 1 extra year can be good for their kids because it will give them more time to mature, will hold their summer kids one year. Those that believe that redshirting is bad, will make kids bored, that is so bad to have An 18-19 year old in high school, will not redshirt.
There are so many decisions that we make for our kids (always what we believe is in their best interests). Are you raising your kids believeing in God, Santa, etc? Are you teaching them math and reading at 4 or waiting until they are in elementary school? We all have different beliefs on what is best for our own (specific) kid. Why do people care so much what other people do? Are the antiredshirted (that believe that redshirting will be a negative for the older kids) so invested in otherwise kids’ lives that worry so much about their parents making the wrong decision?
Now, if you (anti-redshirter) think that redshirting is actually good for those kids, but you can’t afford it for your own, then I see why this may be upsetting... but in his case redshirting is just like anything money can buy... tutors, vacations, private schools, etc.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 09:52     Subject: Re:Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Redshirting parents think they are beating the system. They aren’t. When you’re a kid, you want to be older and when you’re an adult, you want to be younger. Redshirting benefits someone in elementary school (most of the time) but starts to hurt them as they hit high school and graduate college. It stinks to lose another year to school. You spend YEARS in school and this isn’t including grad school. Why make your kid go through that just so they are a little bigger or faster in kindergarten? Kindergarten hardly matters. One less year of retirement savings does.

I redshirt my late july birthday boy, and i can assure you I never thought I was "beating the system". Years in school are the same no matter what. So it's an extra year of childhood versus an extra year in the working world. I am fine giving him an extra year of childhood.


+1 and also the standard deviation of retirement ages is much more than one year. I hope you're not planning your kid's retirement already! If so, you're doing it wrong.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 09:31     Subject: Re:Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:Redshirting parents think they are beating the system. They aren’t. When you’re a kid, you want to be older and when you’re an adult, you want to be younger. Redshirting benefits someone in elementary school (most of the time) but starts to hurt them as they hit high school and graduate college. It stinks to lose another year to school. You spend YEARS in school and this isn’t including grad school. Why make your kid go through that just so they are a little bigger or faster in kindergarten? Kindergarten hardly matters. One less year of retirement savings does.

I redshirt my late july birthday boy, and i can assure you I never thought I was "beating the system". Years in school are the same no matter what. So it's an extra year of childhood versus an extra year in the working world. I am fine giving him an extra year of childhood.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 09:03     Subject: Re:Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Private schools need to be more open about their cutoff dates because I think some have unofficial cutoffs like June. If a parent follows that then to me it’s not really redshirting and is totally appropriate. If a child goes to a public school or a private school that doesn’t have a different internal cutoff then call it what it is - getting a leg up for your kid.


The laws allow it for many states — it’s not breaking the rules.

If you don’t like the rules, then change them. Don’t bitch about other people who are, in fact, following the rules.


I never said it was breaking the rules. It is allowed and done to give the child an advantage unless there are special needs. Own it!
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 09:01     Subject: Re:Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Redshirting parents think they are beating the system. They aren’t. When you’re a kid, you want to be older and when you’re an adult, you want to be younger. Redshirting benefits someone in elementary school (most of the time) but starts to hurt them as they hit high school and graduate college. It stinks to lose another year to school. You spend YEARS in school and this isn’t including grad school. Why make your kid go through that just so they are a little bigger or faster in kindergarten? Kindergarten hardly matters. One less year of retirement savings does.

My parents were of this mindset, too. I ended up graduating college at 21...and had no clue what I wanted to do and wasn’t ready to hit the work force. So I went to law school and never used the degree. It doesn’t help to push someone who is not ready.


I started a 5-year grad program at 21, and have been working in that field for almost 20 years. Not sure you can necessarily blame lack of direction on being younger in your cohort.

Perhaps your parents pushed you toward law school, but that wasn’t your real interest?

I'm sure there was a lot at play, my point being, I would have benefited from another year to mature and decide what I wanted to do. I'm not in favor of pushing kids through as fast as possible with the end goal of graduating college as soon as possible, as the pp I was responding to advocated. I don't think redshirting is a given negative in college as pp said. I think it depends on the child/young adult and just wanted to show another outcome.


Starting kindergarten at 5 instead of 6 isn't pushing as fast as possible.

For purposes of this conversation, I’m going to stay on topic of redshirting (and avoid other possibilities of finishing school earlier) so the discussion IS 5 versus 6. Clearly you don’t agree with me, which is completely fine, but I’m sharing my own personal experience and feelings that I would have benefited from another year of maturity and you are literally arguing with me about that. It’s a discussion board. I am sharing my experience. Sounds like going earlier was right for you. It was not for me. The end.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 08:49     Subject: Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:I understand this explanation but many parents in my community are putting their kids in kindergarten when they are already 6 and nearly 7 essentially sitting the kids out nearly 2 years. The kid should have started at 5, was 5 in the fall they should have started but the parent sits them out.


Where do you live? I have never heard of anyone with a fall birthday (already oldest in the class) being redshirted.... May, April... ok, but October, November? If that’s the case it’s not to give the kid a leg up.... I am sure there are profound delays or medical issues to warrant that. Even then the kid will not turn 20 until freshman year in College
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 08:41     Subject: Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I understand this explanation but many parents in my community are putting their kids in kindergarten when they are already 6 and nearly 7 essentially sitting the kids out nearly 2 years. The kid should have started at 5, was 5 in the fall they should have started but the parent sits them out.

But that’s illegal, so no. Unless the kid has developmental delays.


Redshirting isn't illegal...?
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 08:39     Subject: Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:I understand this explanation but many parents in my community are putting their kids in kindergarten when they are already 6 and nearly 7 essentially sitting the kids out nearly 2 years. The kid should have started at 5, was 5 in the fall they should have started but the parent sits them out.

But that’s illegal, so no. Unless the kid has developmental delays.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 08:38     Subject: Re:Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Redshirting parents think they are beating the system. They aren’t. When you’re a kid, you want to be older and when you’re an adult, you want to be younger. Redshirting benefits someone in elementary school (most of the time) but starts to hurt them as they hit high school and graduate college. It stinks to lose another year to school. You spend YEARS in school and this isn’t including grad school. Why make your kid go through that just so they are a little bigger or faster in kindergarten? Kindergarten hardly matters. One less year of retirement savings does.

My parents were of this mindset, too. I ended up graduating college at 21...and had no clue what I wanted to do and wasn’t ready to hit the work force. So I went to law school and never used the degree. It doesn’t help to push someone who is not ready.


I started a 5-year grad program at 21, and have been working in that field for almost 20 years. Not sure you can necessarily blame lack of direction on being younger in your cohort.

Perhaps your parents pushed you toward law school, but that wasn’t your real interest?

I'm sure there was a lot at play, my point being, I would have benefited from another year to mature and decide what I wanted to do. I'm not in favor of pushing kids through as fast as possible with the end goal of graduating college as soon as possible, as the pp I was responding to advocated. I don't think redshirting is a given negative in college as pp said. I think it depends on the child/young adult and just wanted to show another outcome.


Starting kindergarten at 5 instead of 6 isn't pushing as fast as possible.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 08:32     Subject: Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:There are kids who are redshirted twice (and some redshirted kids are retained). This seems to be a specific issue for specific private schools, not an issue that my public school kid will ever encounter.


If that’s the case and it’s upsetting to those parents/children, parents who send their kids to private schools are free to “vote with their dollars” and send their kids to another private school or to public school. But redshirting twice or redshirting/retaining just isn’t happening in public schools. Hell, even redshirting of non-summer birthdays is rare. Like “a small handful in an entire grade of hundreds of kids” level of rare.

I’m going to be super annoyed if all this “debate” is just a bunch of salty private school parents upset because their schools have their own cutoffs (official or “unofficial” and the parents just didn’t realize that’s how private schools do things.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2019 08:30     Subject: Re:Here's what I don't understand about red shirting
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Redshirting parents think they are beating the system. They aren’t. When you’re a kid, you want to be older and when you’re an adult, you want to be younger. Redshirting benefits someone in elementary school (most of the time) but starts to hurt them as they hit high school and graduate college. It stinks to lose another year to school. You spend YEARS in school and this isn’t including grad school. Why make your kid go through that just so they are a little bigger or faster in kindergarten? Kindergarten hardly matters. One less year of retirement savings does.

My parents were of this mindset, too. I ended up graduating college at 21...and had no clue what I wanted to do and wasn’t ready to hit the work force. So I went to law school and never used the degree. It doesn’t help to push someone who is not ready.


I started a 5-year grad program at 21, and have been working in that field for almost 20 years. Not sure you can necessarily blame lack of direction on being younger in your cohort.

Perhaps your parents pushed you toward law school, but that wasn’t your real interest?

I'm sure there was a lot at play, my point being, I would have benefited from another year to mature and decide what I wanted to do. I'm not in favor of pushing kids through as fast as possible with the end goal of graduating college as soon as possible, as the pp I was responding to advocated. I don't think redshirting is a given negative in college as pp said. I think it depends on the child/young adult and just wanted to show another outcome.