Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again.

To the PP who said that 'stuff happens' and makes one's income less accessible to spend as planned, it has happened to us. Simply put my MIL needs $2K a month from us for living expenses. She is 90. We are going to do it because it is the right thing to do. However we are having to reduce both our college savings and our 401K saving as well as vacations, etc...Sp much for patting ourselves on the back for being so well situated saving-wise.

Oh well.

Dear lord, this is one of the things that happen when you wait until your 40s to have kids. How old are you guys?!

Not OP, but here, let me lend you a hand getting down from that high horse.

Are you aware that people are not in complete control of when they get married, and when they conceive children?

+1 Also, PP fails math, because there is another variable in that equation -- i.e. age of the parent when they gave birth.

But I am sure everyone will listen to him anyway and start reproducing at 18, because that is always a good choice that works out great every time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again.

To the PP who said that 'stuff happens' and makes one's income less accessible to spend as planned, it has happened to us. Simply put my MIL needs $2K a month from us for living expenses. She is 90. We are going to do it because it is the right thing to do. However we are having to reduce both our college savings and our 401K saving as well as vacations, etc...Sp much for patting ourselves on the back for being so well situated saving-wise.

Oh well.

Dear lord, this is one of the things that happen when you wait until your 40s to have kids. How old are you guys?!

Not OP, but here, let me lend you a hand getting down from that high horse.

Are you aware that people are not in complete control of when they get married, and when they conceive children?

I am old. 60 with a kid entering college this year and another who is in 6th grade. Here’s my situation. I am the one who posted earlier about the fully funded 529 plans. $300K in each. That’s one of the benefits of waiting to have kids lol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again.

To the PP who said that 'stuff happens' and makes one's income less accessible to spend as planned, it has happened to us. Simply put my MIL needs $2K a month from us for living expenses. She is 90. We are going to do it because it is the right thing to do. However we are having to reduce both our college savings and our 401K saving as well as vacations, etc...Sp much for patting ourselves on the back for being so well situated saving-wise.

Oh well.

Dear lord, this is one of the things that happen when you wait until your 40s to have kids. How old are you guys?!

Not OP, but here, let me lend you a hand getting down from that high horse.

Are you aware that people are not in complete control of when they get married, and when they conceive children?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again.

To the PP who said that 'stuff happens' and makes one's income less accessible to spend as planned, it has happened to us. Simply put my MIL needs $2K a month from us for living expenses. She is 90. We are going to do it because it is the right thing to do. However we are having to reduce both our college savings and our 401K saving as well as vacations, etc...Sp much for patting ourselves on the back for being so well situated saving-wise.

Oh well.

Dear lord, this is one of the things that happen when you wait until your 40s to have kids. How old are you guys?!

You sound like a judgmental jerk.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again.

To the PP who said that 'stuff happens' and makes one's income less accessible to spend as planned, it has happened to us. Simply put my MIL needs $2K a month from us for living expenses. She is 90. We are going to do it because it is the right thing to do. However we are having to reduce both our college savings and our 401K saving as well as vacations, etc...Sp much for patting ourselves on the back for being so well situated saving-wise.

Oh well.

Dear lord, this is one of the things that happen when you wait until your 40s to have kids. How old are you guys?!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But there are those of use who have the disposable income to spend on college...$280 sitting in 529 waiting to go. My kid does not want a state college. He has had his eyes set on one particular school (not an ivy) for his whole life...a school that would do him well and is a great fit. We are going to give him his dream. He is an excellent student, hard worker, very smart. He got scholarships elsewhere, but we are going to give him his dream. I didn't have that. My husband went to ivies, was successful in his career and consequently he can afford to provide this to our kids. Those ivies opened doors for him. We can only hope that as a result our kid will be able to do the same for his kids some day. State colleges are great for those who can't afford otherwise and for those who are hard workers willing to go above and beyond. You see, that's the thing. To be successful at lower level schools, you have to put that much more into it, whereas at an elite school, you still work hard (you have to in order to get good grades), but you have that added bonus of the name recognition which opens bigger doors.

Not sure what you are comparing state colleges to in this statement. If it is top private *universities* and Ivies then yes, maybe they are not as strong in general (though it really depends on the department), but if you are saying that state colleges are worse than private LACs, from the perspective of quality of the faculty, you are wrong. If above all a student is interested in having the highest caliber research faculty in their field, state universities generally trump LACs and lesser known private universities. Not everybody prioritizes that but for many, that's a big factor.

Don’t forget the loads of classes taught by TA’s while aforementioned prestige faculty are away in their research labs.

Not sure what you really mean. The profs I know at state schools teach their own classes. Though it's true, I know people who taught Calculus as grad students at the U of Chicago.

“Highest caliber research faculty” don’t teach much, so their value to the vast majority of undergrads who aren’t part of that research benefit little.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But there are those of use who have the disposable income to spend on college...$280 sitting in 529 waiting to go. My kid does not want a state college. He has had his eyes set on one particular school (not an ivy) for his whole life...a school that would do him well and is a great fit. We are going to give him his dream. He is an excellent student, hard worker, very smart. He got scholarships elsewhere, but we are going to give him his dream. I didn't have that. My husband went to ivies, was successful in his career and consequently he can afford to provide this to our kids. Those ivies opened doors for him. We can only hope that as a result our kid will be able to do the same for his kids some day. State colleges are great for those who can't afford otherwise and for those who are hard workers willing to go above and beyond. You see, that's the thing. To be successful at lower level schools, you have to put that much more into it, whereas at an elite school, you still work hard (you have to in order to get good grades), but you have that added bonus of the name recognition which opens bigger doors.

Not sure what you are comparing state colleges to in this statement. If it is top private *universities* and Ivies then yes, maybe they are not as strong in general (though it really depends on the department), but if you are saying that state colleges are worse than private LACs, from the perspective of quality of the faculty, you are wrong. If above all a student is interested in having the highest caliber research faculty in their field, state universities generally trump LACs and lesser known private universities. Not everybody prioritizes that but for many, that's a big factor.

FWIW, I was comparing them to top 20 universities. But of course, even if you chose a LAC, that is the person's choice and if they can afford it, people have no right to trash that person for wasting money. It's about fit -- financially and academically.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But there are those of use who have the disposable income to spend on college...$280 sitting in 529 waiting to go. My kid does not want a state college. He has had his eyes set on one particular school (not an ivy) for his whole life...a school that would do him well and is a great fit. We are going to give him his dream. He is an excellent student, hard worker, very smart. He got scholarships elsewhere, but we are going to give him his dream. I didn't have that. My husband went to ivies, was successful in his career and consequently he can afford to provide this to our kids. Those ivies opened doors for him. We can only hope that as a result our kid will be able to do the same for his kids some day. State colleges are great for those who can't afford otherwise and for those who are hard workers willing to go above and beyond. You see, that's the thing. To be successful at lower level schools, you have to put that much more into it, whereas at an elite school, you still work hard (you have to in order to get good grades), but you have that added bonus of the name recognition which opens bigger doors.

Not sure what you are comparing state colleges to in this statement. If it is top private *universities* and Ivies then yes, maybe they are not as strong in general (though it really depends on the department), but if you are saying that state colleges are worse than private LACs, from the perspective of quality of the faculty, you are wrong. If above all a student is interested in having the highest caliber research faculty in their field, state universities generally trump LACs and lesser known private universities. Not everybody prioritizes that but for many, that's a big factor.

Don’t forget the loads of classes taught by TA’s while aforementioned prestige faculty are away in their research labs.

Not sure what you really mean. The profs I know at state schools teach their own classes. Though it's true, I know people who taught Calculus as grad students at the U of Chicago.

Anonymous wrote:Here's a thing I notice about these threads:

Those that are full pay often say something like "it sucks but we saved and it was the right decision for us" (similar to OP).

Those that choose to NOT be fully pay and choose schools accordingly often say "it's not worth it to anyone".

I think both of those statements come from internal conflict and doubt about the decision they have made. However, only one of them attacks the other's decision. Why do you think that is the case?

Not like OP. OP is freaking out about the last few thousand and not sure she can do it.

And your first group often says "you should have saved like that, too." -- no value judgment there.

OP here again.

To the PP who said that 'stuff happens' and makes one's income less accessible to spend as planned, it has happened to us. Simply put my MIL needs $2K a month from us for living expenses. She is 90. We are going to do it because it is the right thing to do. However we are having to reduce both our college savings and our 401K saving as well as vacations, etc...Sp much for patting ourselves on the back for being so well situated saving-wise.

Oh well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But there are those of use who have the disposable income to spend on college...$280 sitting in 529 waiting to go. My kid does not want a state college. He has had his eyes set on one particular school (not an ivy) for his whole life...a school that would do him well and is a great fit. We are going to give him his dream. He is an excellent student, hard worker, very smart. He got scholarships elsewhere, but we are going to give him his dream. I didn't have that. My husband went to ivies, was successful in his career and consequently he can afford to provide this to our kids. Those ivies opened doors for him. We can only hope that as a result our kid will be able to do the same for his kids some day. State colleges are great for those who can't afford otherwise and for those who are hard workers willing to go above and beyond. You see, that's the thing. To be successful at lower level schools, you have to put that much more into it, whereas at an elite school, you still work hard (you have to in order to get good grades), but you have that added bonus of the name recognition which opens bigger doors.

Not sure what you are comparing state colleges to in this statement. If it is top private *universities* and Ivies then yes, maybe they are not as strong in general (though it really depends on the department), but if you are saying that state colleges are worse than private LACs, from the perspective of quality of the faculty, you are wrong. If above all a student is interested in having the highest caliber research faculty in their field, state universities generally trump LACs and lesser known private universities. Not everybody prioritizes that but for many, that's a big factor.

Don’t forget the loads of classes taught by TA’s while aforementioned prestige faculty are away in their research labs.

Anonymous wrote:Other incidentals to consider: science books can cost $300 each, and science "lab supplies" are $100 per class per quarter. And some classes have field trip expenses.

It does cost even more than the sticker price, believe me.

Yes! And if going into a computer science field, talk about even more money! Specific machines that can only be purchased through a specific seller approved by the University, software for outside of class to do projects, certifications, additional online supplemental training with certifications, money to attend conferences to secure internships & job prospects. It adds up fast! It's easily another $2-5k each year.

Also, for those shouting get a job. It's not always the simple. Mine hasn't found a place that will work around his schedule. Why? Because nearly everyone applying for the jobs have the same availability: after 4 PM through the week and all day on weekends. While visiting him at his college and walking around town, every place had help wanted signs specifying morning hours and daytime hours and stores needed overnight stock workers. Shifts that most college kids can't work. He has several friends who are upperclassmen and do Uber to make some $$ Thur-Sun. He's not yet allowed to have a car on campus but he doesn't think that's something he'll want to do because traffic at his campus is a nightmare and lots of fender benders happen each day due to stop & go traffic and distracted young drivers. He's so far made money tutoring. He did have a job at a pizza place beside of his dorm but they had to let him go because he needed two weekends off in a row to attend conferences for his major. He was bummed, but we keep stressing that school comes first. We're happy to provide money as long as he's working hard at school and getting good grades. He's also worked each summer leading up to college and saved that money, so that's been helpful. He's ecstatic that he's secured a paid internship for this summer and one that pays very well on top of that!

Anonymous wrote:But there are those of use who have the disposable income to spend on college...$280 sitting in 529 waiting to go. My kid does not want a state college. He has had his eyes set on one particular school (not an ivy) for his whole life...a school that would do him well and is a great fit. We are going to give him his dream. He is an excellent student, hard worker, very smart. He got scholarships elsewhere, but we are going to give him his dream. I didn't have that. My husband went to ivies, was successful in his career and consequently he can afford to provide this to our kids. Those ivies opened doors for him. We can only hope that as a result our kid will be able to do the same for his kids some day. State colleges are great for those who can't afford otherwise and for those who are hard workers willing to go above and beyond. You see, that's the thing. To be successful at lower level schools, you have to put that much more into it, whereas at an elite school, you still work hard (you have to in order to get good grades), but you have that added bonus of the name recognition which opens bigger doors.

Well, that's nice for us. Please remember, thought, that for some of us, we set up trustfunds when our children were born (this is pre 529s) and put every penny, every check the child received on birthdays and holidays in those - had them professionally managed - and they still got decimated by the great recession. Once that compounding is gone, it cannot be brought back by majic. Fortunately everyone went in-state.

Community college 2+2 is a better deal than state school for four years, absent a significant scholarship at the latter. Always interesting to see where people draw that line. So many of the “waste of money” folks act like they are taking the most economical route but they aren’t. You say “community college” or “did you buy a new car?” and they run.

I have one at a T25 SLAC who will graduate with some debt. He’s cool with it. As he told me “so I’ll drive a crappy car for ten years.” I have another at a regional state school who will graduate with no debt. He’s also happy with his decision. (They are doing radically different levels of work for comparable grades but that’s apples and oranges and a debate for another thread.) Both are spending their money where it matters to them. Not sure why people have to get on here and tell everyone universal truths.

Anonymous wrote:But there are those of use who have the disposable income to spend on college...$280 sitting in 529 waiting to go. My kid does not want a state college. He has had his eyes set on one particular school (not an ivy) for his whole life...a school that would do him well and is a great fit. We are going to give him his dream. He is an excellent student, hard worker, very smart. He got scholarships elsewhere, but we are going to give him his dream. I didn't have that. My husband went to ivies, was successful in his career and consequently he can afford to provide this to our kids. Those ivies opened doors for him. We can only hope that as a result our kid will be able to do the same for his kids some day. State colleges are great for those who can't afford otherwise and for those who are hard workers willing to go above and beyond. You see, that's the thing. To be successful at lower level schools, you have to put that much more into it, whereas at an elite school, you still work hard (you have to in order to get good grades), but you have that added bonus of the name recognition which opens bigger doors.

Not sure what you are comparing state colleges to in this statement. If it is top private *universities* and Ivies then yes, maybe they are not as strong in general (though it really depends on the department), but if you are saying that state colleges are worse than private LACs, from the perspective of quality of the faculty, you are wrong. If above all a student is interested in having the highest caliber research faculty in their field, state universities generally trump LACs and lesser known private universities. Not everybody prioritizes that but for many, that's a big factor.