Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re: the pocket knife, somehow a swiss army knife found its way into my 5th grader's backpack.

Retroactively, I have the sinking feeling I may even have put it there absentmindedly myself, so it wouldn't get lost, and it could be useful since it had the spoon, fork, scissors etc. Not 100% sure about this, though.

Anyway, he apparently discovered it on the bus ride home, took it out, and he and 2 friends were looking at all the gadgets on it. Another kid on the bus went up to the bus driver and said that boys in the back had a knife.

The next day he was perp-walked in front of all the other kids to have his locker emptied. They found nothing, but he was humiliated. He was suspended from public school for 3 days, I had to go in on the 4th day and meet the current principal, a new guy that was kind of controversial. For example, on Halloween all the teachers chose to dress up as him.

So I go in and this guy proceeds to tell me that my child shows signs of neglect (????) and that his only friend is this one kid he made friends with in his class, let's call him Jerry.

I lol because we've known Jerry and his family since the kids were babies, and "Jerry" was not his only friend. We had sleepovers nearly every weekend. WTF is this principal on.

The "neglect" thing came from what I warned my son about, that if he didn't take regular showers and agree to haircuts that he was going to look like crap.

Anyway, that was the extent of it, but I'll never forget how everyone flipped their shit over the whole situation.

BTW after that he started taking daily showers, we cut the hair, he stopped being married to the old sneakers he wouldn't throw out, and became a handsome devil as a teenager.

The WTF principal was fired the following year, no one liked him.

What kind of parents put a knife in their kid’s backpack and forget about it? You blame the school for taking it seriously??? If your kid sits next to a kid holding a knife on the school bus what would you do? Your kid does not know that one should not play with a knife on the school bus? WTF???

Well said!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of behavioral problems are originated from poor parenting

I'm interested in this. Can you better quantify 'lots' and provide a citation for your assertion? Thanks!

Not PP but comments like this are so stupid. Your real life acquaintances probably hate you for being such a sanctimonious pain in the ass.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of behavioral problems are originated from poor parenting

I'm interested in this. Can you better quantify 'lots' and provide a citation for your assertion? Thanks!

Lots of behavioral problems are originated from poor parenting

+1000000

Anonymous wrote:Re: the pocket knife, somehow a swiss army knife found its way into my 5th grader's backpack.

Retroactively, I have the sinking feeling I may even have put it there absentmindedly myself, so it wouldn't get lost, and it could be useful since it had the spoon, fork, scissors etc. Not 100% sure about this, though.

Anyway, he apparently discovered it on the bus ride home, took it out, and he and 2 friends were looking at all the gadgets on it. Another kid on the bus went up to the bus driver and said that boys in the back had a knife.

The next day he was perp-walked in front of all the other kids to have his locker emptied. They found nothing, but he was humiliated. He was suspended from public school for 3 days, I had to go in on the 4th day and meet the current principal, a new guy that was kind of controversial. For example, on Halloween all the teachers chose to dress up as him.

So I go in and this guy proceeds to tell me that my child shows signs of neglect (????) and that his only friend is this one kid he made friends with in his class, let's call him Jerry.

I lol because we've known Jerry and his family since the kids were babies, and "Jerry" was not his only friend. We had sleepovers nearly every weekend. WTF is this principal on.

The "neglect" thing came from what I warned my son about, that if he didn't take regular showers and agree to haircuts that he was going to look like crap.

Anyway, that was the extent of it, but I'll never forget how everyone flipped their shit over the whole situation.

BTW after that he started taking daily showers, we cut the hair, he stopped being married to the old sneakers he wouldn't throw out, and became a handsome devil as a teenager.

The WTF principal was fired the following year, no one liked him.

What kind of parents put a knife in their kid’s backpack and forget about it? You blame the school for taking it seriously??? If your kid sits next to a kid holding a knife on the school bus what would you do? Your kid does not know that one should not play with a knife on the school bus? WTF???

I'm hoping immediate PP is a troll (i.e., one describing 5th grader with pocketknife). A knife on a fifth grader's property; a school where all the teachers dress up as a parody of the principal; a parent whose attitude towards the principal and school include WTF and derisive language all while ignoring the fact that to a parent/family/teacher who's witnessed violence on school grounds, a knife is a knife is a knife....

As for OP's situation, while I'm really sorry about all of this, I can't imagine how it could have ended differently. I live in CO where we have had multiple school shootings and deaths, most famously Columbine...if there is ANYTHING we have learned, it's that we cannot underestimate the messages that drugs and weapons send. Here in CO, of course, pot's legal for those of age, but for any student to have any weapon and/or drug on his/her person or property is, quite simply, an invitation for that student's world to go upside down. It may not seem fair, but I'd argue that it's far better than having other students' and families' lives upended because someone decided 'kids will be kids' or 'he just didn't realize what was in the car.'

OP, I really am sorry this all happened. I don't judge you, and I honestly wonder if all these people chiming in to say 'you should have known better' and/or 'why is he working so much' have teenagers of their own, even as I wonder if they understand that it's the norm for kids to work all weekend in many, many situations. Your child is facing some very stiff consequences, but I daresay they were all spelled out in the school/county handbook and that he's being treated exactly as the process promised. He can come out of this just fine (and I don't think you have to write off college next year, btw -- just perhaps not the college he expected to enroll in at this time): the test will be letting him see your love even while he reckons with your disappointment as well as his own disappointment in himself. Please keep trying to help him see he's not being unfairly targeted; he's being treated as the policies warrant. I have to say that all the letters of support from his faculty, while kind, could have a negative impact on your son's psyche: it's imperative that not feel martyred, an attitude that never got anybody anywhere, and you can help him with this, OP. All this can have a positive outcome; I wish you all the best.

Anonymous wrote:Re: the pocket knife, somehow a swiss army knife found its way into my 5th grader's backpack.

Retroactively, I have the sinking feeling I may even have put it there absentmindedly myself, so it wouldn't get lost, and it could be useful since it had the spoon, fork, scissors etc. Not 100% sure about this, though.

Anyway, he apparently discovered it on the bus ride home, took it out, and he and 2 friends were looking at all the gadgets on it. Another kid on the bus went up to the bus driver and said that boys in the back had a knife.

The next day he was perp-walked in front of all the other kids to have his locker emptied. They found nothing, but he was humiliated. He was suspended from public school for 3 days, I had to go in on the 4th day and meet the current principal, a new guy that was kind of controversial. For example, on Halloween all the teachers chose to dress up as him.

So I go in and this guy proceeds to tell me that my child shows signs of neglect (????) and that his only friend is this one kid he made friends with in his class, let's call him Jerry.

I lol because we've known Jerry and his family since the kids were babies, and "Jerry" was not his only friend. We had sleepovers nearly every weekend. WTF is this principal on.

The "neglect" thing came from what I warned my son about, that if he didn't take regular showers and agree to haircuts that he was going to look like crap.

Anyway, that was the extent of it, but I'll never forget how everyone flipped their shit over the whole situation.

BTW after that he started taking daily showers, we cut the hair, he stopped being married to the old sneakers he wouldn't throw out, and became a handsome devil as a teenager.

The WTF principal was fired the following year, no one liked him.

Your son was in 5th grade and had a knife out on a school bus, he should have been suspended. Any sudden stops and there could have been serious harm to him or some other child. Also, you admit that your son didn't shower and looked disheveled, so the principal was not off on the neglect comment since he couldn't possibly know that your son was refusing your attempts to teach him good hygiene. You should thank the principal for caring. It seems his talk to you got results you weren't getting on your own. Your situation was entirely different than OP's DS.

Re: the pocket knife, somehow a swiss army knife found its way into my 5th grader's backpack.

Retroactively, I have the sinking feeling I may even have put it there absentmindedly myself, so it wouldn't get lost, and it could be useful since it had the spoon, fork, scissors etc. Not 100% sure about this, though.

Anyway, he apparently discovered it on the bus ride home, took it out, and he and 2 friends were looking at all the gadgets on it. Another kid on the bus went up to the bus driver and said that boys in the back had a knife.

The next day he was perp-walked in front of all the other kids to have his locker emptied. They found nothing, but he was humiliated. He was suspended from public school for 3 days, I had to go in on the 4th day and meet the current principal, a new guy that was kind of controversial. For example, on Halloween all the teachers chose to dress up as him.

So I go in and this guy proceeds to tell me that my child shows signs of neglect (????) and that his only friend is this one kid he made friends with in his class, let's call him Jerry.

I lol because we've known Jerry and his family since the kids were babies, and "Jerry" was not his only friend. We had sleepovers nearly every weekend. WTF is this principal on.

The "neglect" thing came from what I warned my son about, that if he didn't take regular showers and agree to haircuts that he was going to look like crap.

Anyway, that was the extent of it, but I'll never forget how everyone flipped their shit over the whole situation.

BTW after that he started taking daily showers, we cut the hair, he stopped being married to the old sneakers he wouldn't throw out, and became a handsome devil as a teenager.

The WTF principal was fired the following year, no one liked him.

Anonymous wrote:I also hesitate to hire a lawyer to get him off. I have seen so many kids whose parents do this and the kid realizes his parents will just bail him out. I do have the means to hire a good lawyer. I will not get him off on the marijuana charges. That is on him. The knife and expulsion from school is what I struggle with. I am 100% certain he had no idea it was in his car.

Hire the best lawyer you can. Make sure they know that your son intends to take the consequences for vaping/marijuana, but he needs help with the weapons charge.

I’d also be frank about not having a weapons charge if there had not been vaping/marijuana for the dogs to smell.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should never have agreed to open his car. What is this??

Pretty sure the search was legal since it was on school property, they are allowed to patrol with drug dogs, dog alerts.

In my day the school had an ACLU guy give a presentation to senior classes about our civil rights including search and seizure. Back when we had rights.

+1

Close in NVA high schools don't even have lockers, because lockers were such a grey area, legally.

Why are lockers a grey area. It's on school property and is subject to random searches at anytime. I think getting rid of lockers was more because they caused congestion in the hallways.