Anonymous wrote:OP again. I really appreciate everyone weighin in on this and giving me a lot to think about. Unfortunately, I think it will be cost prohibitive for me to book separate accommodations for this trip, and it sucks I would have to do that. I’ve basically planned this entire trip, picked the AirBNBs, etc.

I open to the idea that this girl is amazing and would be great fun, but I think regardless, third wheel would likely suck when I don’t know the couple well. I am finding myself feeling resentful that he has put me in this spot instead of asking her to be understanding. I hope it’s not the case, but I have a feeling this is the beginning of the end of our friendship.

I’m going to sit on it for a couple days before deciding what to do and think about some of the things you all have suggested. Yes, bucket list place will still be there, but finding good travel buddies is hard to do and I’d rather not go alone. So it just sucks. I’ve already asked him to not say any thing to the GF, that this feels like a lose-lose for me, and that I needed some time to think about it.

Anonymous wrote:opposite sex friends don't work unless one is gay

Anonymous wrote:Team gf. Regardless of who else is going on the trip, it's rude and awkward to uninvite her after conferring with OP. I understand OP's discomfort, but I don't think guy friend's actions were "honorable" at all.

Anonymous wrote:Cancel. It'll be awkward. Not to mention, it sounds like he hasn't spent much time with her in person. You don't even know if they'll get along. It's a recipe for disaster.

He shouldn't have put you in that position. He's seen this woman three times. The adult thing for him to do would be not to indulge her weird jealousy. It's a new relationship, and she's already getting weird about stuff he had planned before they started dating? Um, no.

Anonymous wrote:Team gf. Regardless of who else is going on the trip, it's rude and awkward to uninvite her after conferring with OP. I understand OP's discomfort, but I don't think guy friend's actions were "honorable" at all.

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm OP- if you and friend are really platonic, never attracted physically and you are colleagues, why not look at the situation as possibly adding a new friend to the mix. She might be a lovely person and a lot of fun! You’ve done 3 trips with this guy already. If the gf of only a few weeks turns out to be his person, you’d be their friend, as well, right? If he eventually commits long term to gf, this decision isn’t ideal. You’ve put him in a position to choose you over her. It’s not very fair. If she felt threatened by you, she would not be cool with joining you on the trip. You seem threatened and feel like a third wheel, but she’s the new person involved and is willing to be ok with the history of your relationship with her bf. This says a lot about her IMO. Why risk a losing an important friend in your life? Eventually, both of you will possibly be committed with families. I’d choose to keep my friend and welcome her. Great life-long friendships are built on compromise and genuine love/care for each others well being. I would not give up my best guy friends (2 of them) for my DH and vice versa.