Anonymous
08/19/2018 15:48
Subject: Re:What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The “happy and dumb” technique for dealing with difficult family members.
Basically when I see my in laws now, I don’t make any effort whatsoever to connect with them and pretend to be stupid and cheerful. I don’t talk or ask any questions at all. I say very little and if I do talk, I only remark on our immediate surroundings. I don’t share anything about myself or ask anyone any questions.
I know this sounds completely sad and crazy to people with functional families but it is a technique that I learned on the family relationships forum and it works well. My in laws like me more now than they did before.
+1
Tried, tested, approved.
I am going to try this.
+2 I do the "happy but dumb" routine a lot, just not with family. There are some people at our children's schools or at the clubs or other places whom I think are pretentious bores and I do "happy but dumb" to fend them off. Turns out that this way they're happy to be rid of a loser like me and I'm happy because I don't have to deal with them. It is win-win all the way around!
Anonymous
08/19/2018 10:56
Subject: Re:What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The “happy and dumb” technique for dealing with difficult family members.
Basically when I see my in laws now, I don’t make any effort whatsoever to connect with them and pretend to be stupid and cheerful. I don’t talk or ask any questions at all. I say very little and if I do talk, I only remark on our immediate surroundings. I don’t share anything about myself or ask anyone any questions.
I know this sounds completely sad and crazy to people with functional families but it is a technique that I learned on the family relationships forum and it works well. My in laws like me more now than they did before.
+1
Tried, tested, approved.
I am going to try this.
Anonymous
08/19/2018 09:06
Subject: Re:What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:DCUM exposed me to the comedy of Matt Bellasai, who I later discovered was the same little Matt who grew up down the street from me.
I love Matt Bellasai! He made me realize I might just be turning into a sweetly sardonic young gay man.
Anonymous
08/19/2018 08:30
Subject: What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:Senor Rico's Rice Pudding
Just tried it this weekend. So good.
Anonymous
08/16/2018 08:52
Subject: What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
Senor Rico's Rice Pudding
Anonymous
08/16/2018 08:39
Subject: Re:What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
A lot! Especially when there used to be the list serve and I read the digest almost daily. I saved a lot of those emails.
When my kids were very young, I learned a lot of really great parenting advice/resources/books. One thing that was really helpful when potty training was the idea of rewarding every 10 (or however many) times a child is willing to sit on a potty with access to a special toy, not a new trinket each time. So for example, I only rewarded when my daughter was willing to sit on the potty, not what she did when she was there. And instead of earning candy or junky toys, I bought one special toy (in this case a mermaid costume) that she got to wear for a set amount of time, then we put away until the next period. I also read a good potty training book (which basically put kids in 4 or 5 different personality groups so you realized what would work for your child, and that some kids will just be easier to potty train than others) but earning access to one special reward was really creative and unique. In general, we didn't do much sticker-chart-reward stuff, but with potty training, I really liked this approach.
Also, 10 years ago, someone posted a link to that New York magazine article that discussed praising effort vs. praising outcomes, explained the marshmallow test (that I had never heard of at that point) and generally set me on a path to think about all the little things that I did and wonder if that was good for the long term (did a child really "do a good job" when she went down the slide for the 100th time that day?!)
So many smart people take the time to post helpful, interesting info and links.
And then, there is the private school forum........ but my thoughts on that topic are probably best left for another thread...
When my kids were very young, I learned a lot of really great parenting advice/resources/books. One thing that was really helpful when potty training was the idea of rewarding every 10 (or however many) times a child is willing to sit on a potty with access to a special toy, not a new trinket each time. So for example, I only rewarded when my daughter was willing to sit on the potty, not what she did when she was there. And instead of earning candy or junky toys, I bought one special toy (in this case a mermaid costume) that she got to wear for a set amount of time, then we put away until the next period. I also read a good potty training book (which basically put kids in 4 or 5 different personality groups so you realized what would work for your child, and that some kids will just be easier to potty train than others) but earning access to one special reward was really creative and unique. In general, we didn't do much sticker-chart-reward stuff, but with potty training, I really liked this approach.
Also, 10 years ago, someone posted a link to that New York magazine article that discussed praising effort vs. praising outcomes, explained the marshmallow test (that I had never heard of at that point) and generally set me on a path to think about all the little things that I did and wonder if that was good for the long term (did a child really "do a good job" when she went down the slide for the 100th time that day?!)
So many smart people take the time to post helpful, interesting info and links.
And then, there is the private school forum........ but my thoughts on that topic are probably best left for another thread...
Anonymous
08/11/2018 20:21
Subject: What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
I can’t even deal w you people. I just tried out oven bacon and then accidentally ate the majority of the pack!!! This is ridiculous. How easy and crispy this bacon was.
Anonymous
08/08/2018 14:10
Subject: What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
Frankly, I've found DCUM overwhelmingly helpful, entertaining, and a place to commiserate. Sure, there are the smug, sanctimonious, or just over the top posts that I screen out, but I love this website.
For instance, I was in need of entertainment and read the thread where a DW was worried a small SUV wouldn't be manly enough for her DH. That thread alone, makes this forum a keeper.
I have a tween, hormonal boy with ADHD- and raising him into a responsible adult is not for the faint of heart. Right now, I especially appreciate the tween section, combined with the SN section. Sometimes his behavior is just normal, a##hat tween behavior and I don't need to attribute everything to ADHD- other times, I know that he needs more support.
For instance, I was in need of entertainment and read the thread where a DW was worried a small SUV wouldn't be manly enough for her DH. That thread alone, makes this forum a keeper.
I have a tween, hormonal boy with ADHD- and raising him into a responsible adult is not for the faint of heart. Right now, I especially appreciate the tween section, combined with the SN section. Sometimes his behavior is just normal, a##hat tween behavior and I don't need to attribute everything to ADHD- other times, I know that he needs more support.
Anonymous
08/08/2018 13:52
Subject: What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
I learned that other people make a lot of money and feel strapped here in the DMV. I thought it was just us.
Anonymous
08/07/2018 21:41
Subject: What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
The 7-minute workout. Helped me through the transition of going back to work and no time for the gym.
Really good perspective on all sorts of family dramas.
So much from the Travel forum, but especially about the Red Cap service for Amtrak when we had a big group traveling to NYC and wanted seats together.
Identifying that my DH has undiagnosed ADHD and so does his father, who may also have oppositional disorder. But on balance, DH ain't so bad compared to many in the Relationship forum.
The Japanese sunscreen from the Beauty forum.
Really good perspective on all sorts of family dramas.
So much from the Travel forum, but especially about the Red Cap service for Amtrak when we had a big group traveling to NYC and wanted seats together.
Identifying that my DH has undiagnosed ADHD and so does his father, who may also have oppositional disorder. But on balance, DH ain't so bad compared to many in the Relationship forum.
The Japanese sunscreen from the Beauty forum.
Anonymous
08/07/2018 21:29
Subject: What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Duh - the chicken shawarma!
Link? I missed this one.
https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1017161-oven-roasted-chicken-shawarma
Enjoy!
Anonymous
08/07/2018 17:55
Subject: What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
Anonymous wrote:Duh - the chicken shawarma!
Link? I missed this one.
Anonymous
08/07/2018 15:46
Subject: Re:What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
"No" is a complete and empowering sentence.
Anonymous
08/07/2018 15:44
Subject: Re:What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
The Special Needs Forum has been invaluable for me. Posters over there tend to be far more supportive, kinder and less judgmental. They've also provided excellent advice and recommendations. My kids (older ones are in HS now) wouldn't be where they are now without the support I received from the SN form. Specifically, I learned:
1. My DS's encopresis was from chronic constipation. I needed the book "It's No Accident" and to do the Modified O'Regan Protocol (MOP).
2. Lose the Wheels/iCanShine could teach my kids to ride a bike independently - and did!
3. The differences between a neuropsych evaluation and a psychoeducational eval
4. WrightsLaw should be consulted when researching Special Ed Law and questions
5. I can group-source the language I needed to use when documenting issues with the school/IEP team
6. Knowing the law and regulations is not that difficult and I can become more knowledgeable than many IEP team members.
7. The importance of removing emotion from my interactions
8. ....and a whole lot more
1. My DS's encopresis was from chronic constipation. I needed the book "It's No Accident" and to do the Modified O'Regan Protocol (MOP).
2. Lose the Wheels/iCanShine could teach my kids to ride a bike independently - and did!
3. The differences between a neuropsych evaluation and a psychoeducational eval
4. WrightsLaw should be consulted when researching Special Ed Law and questions
5. I can group-source the language I needed to use when documenting issues with the school/IEP team
6. Knowing the law and regulations is not that difficult and I can become more knowledgeable than many IEP team members.
7. The importance of removing emotion from my interactions
8. ....and a whole lot more
Anonymous
08/07/2018 15:10
Subject: What’s the best thing you’ve learned on DCUM?
Shakshuka (which I understand is now passé, but I’d never heard of it before) and the sheet pan tikka recipe got me through, and continue to get me through, many meals that I can even rouse any interest to make.
Using painters tape and band-aids to amuse a baby/ toddler on long flights. Along the same line, window clings.
And not from a single post, but just that child development really does happen at different paces, so don’t crow or worry too much either way.
Using painters tape and band-aids to amuse a baby/ toddler on long flights. Along the same line, window clings.
And not from a single post, but just that child development really does happen at different paces, so don’t crow or worry too much either way.