Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 10:53     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
I'm not an introvert by any means but I am OCD about cleanliness and all I can ever think about when people are over is how they are contaminating my house. Even just the wet/dirty shoes coming in my entryway are enough to make me not want to have people over. Add to that my uncertainty about their handwashing or how they use my bathroom, the probability of them spilling drinks on my rug or couch, etc. No thanks, let's just go out to dinner
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2020 10:46     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
There are extroverts and there are introverts. In general introverts have a hard time inviting people over. I get majorly anxious and stress for WEEKS. It's not worth it. If everyone in my life decided not to invite me then I guess I wouldn't have any friends. Thankfully those closest to me accept me, for me. I don't expect to have myself and my family fed all the time. I bring food over as well. But I just don't like hosting. At this point in my life....or maybe it's just my personality now....it's just not worth the massive amount of stress it brings. People can say over and over "who cares! have people over." They don't get it. This isn't something I can control. It's just who I am. I'm not sure why this is so offensive to people.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 10:43     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today, I finally admitted to myself that I HATE having people over to my home. I am a very social person and love getting together with friends, but I become so anxious when anyone visits - is my house clean enough? What will we eat? How does the lawn look? Will people notice the crappy paint job in the living room? Should we eat outside or inside? Where should I put the crudites? Etc. etc. I find myself secretly hoping that people will cancel on us after we invite them over. I dread the visits for days beforehand. Anyone else like this? How do you deal? I am an anxious person by nature and I care too much what people think about me, I need to get over it! Our friends have had to invite themselves over in order to meet our now-several-months-old baby.


OP, don't bother hosting. No-one will enjoy to be around you in your house. I love to have people over, and my house is far away from perfect, but we always have people popping up even without invitation (mom dropped my kid after practice or playdate -- she is always invited for cup of coffee or glass of wine; I chat with the neighbor this morning while walking my dog -- the neighbor invited for breakfast at our house; kids friends are always welcome here; I have few good friends who can just pop up any time they are around in our area without invitation. My house is clean most of the time, have no clutter. We did a lot of DIY fixing it, so the paint job is superb. The rest of the things -- no one cares. People just to want to have a good time, and if you act relaxed and welcoming, everyone will have a good time.


Op might respond to you if this were 11 years ago.

And yeah, I’m at the stage where people barely visit us anymore. We live a few blocks from our friends and they’ve came over maybe....one or two times? I think there’s more appeal to meeting up elsewhere than our house. And we both have good sized homes for hosting, but it just never comes up.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2020 07:30     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today, I finally admitted to myself that I HATE having people over to my home. I am a very social person and love getting together with friends, but I become so anxious when anyone visits - is my house clean enough? What will we eat? How does the lawn look? Will people notice the crappy paint job in the living room? Should we eat outside or inside? Where should I put the crudites? Etc. etc. I find myself secretly hoping that people will cancel on us after we invite them over. I dread the visits for days beforehand. Anyone else like this? How do you deal? I am an anxious person by nature and I care too much what people think about me, I need to get over it! Our friends have had to invite themselves over in order to meet our now-several-months-old baby.


This is not normal, you need to get over it.


Actually, it's totally normal for someone with anxiety. Different strokes for different folks! OP, don't stress over this--if you don't feel comfortable having people over, just meet them out. Maybe try to do something at your house when you have time to prepare and see how it goes? Then you can try to do more frequently as YOU feel more comfortable and confident about it.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2020 23:59     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:I hate it too but not bc of the reasons you mentioned above but with 2 kids that are all over the place - I can never focus on my guests and have the gathering that I envision when I made the plans. They are sooo chaotic with noise and the kids take up too much of my attention to enjoy anyone else anymore. Please tell me this gets better over time bc I truly do enjoy entertaining - but not since kids.
I dont mind playdates that are 1-2 hours where it is structured play and our focus is on that - but anything more than that I start having a meltdown with all the kids.


Not to worry. Before you know it they'll be teenagers, and you'll be lucky if they mumble hello to the guests before they disappear into the basement.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2020 20:18     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today, I finally admitted to myself that I HATE having people over to my home. I am a very social person and love getting together with friends, but I become so anxious when anyone visits - is my house clean enough? What will we eat? How does the lawn look? Will people notice the crappy paint job in the living room? Should we eat outside or inside? Where should I put the crudites? Etc. etc. I find myself secretly hoping that people will cancel on us after we invite them over. I dread the visits for days beforehand. Anyone else like this? How do you deal? I am an anxious person by nature and I care too much what people think about me, I need to get over it! Our friends have had to invite themselves over in order to meet our now-several-months-old baby.


OP, don't bother hosting. No-one will enjoy to be around you in your house. I love to have people over, and my house is far away from perfect, but we always have people popping up even without invitation (mom dropped my kid after practice or playdate -- she is always invited for cup of coffee or glass of wine; I chat with the neighbor this morning while walking my dog -- the neighbor invited for breakfast at our house; kids friends are always welcome here; I have few good friends who can just pop up any time they are around in our area without invitation. My house is clean most of the time, have no clutter. We did a lot of DIY fixing it, so the paint job is superb. The rest of the things -- no one cares. People just to want to have a good time, and if you act relaxed and welcoming, everyone will have a good time.



+1 relax and enjoy your company
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2020 20:14     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:Today, I finally admitted to myself that I HATE having people over to my home. I am a very social person and love getting together with friends, but I become so anxious when anyone visits - is my house clean enough? What will we eat? How does the lawn look? Will people notice the crappy paint job in the living room? Should we eat outside or inside? Where should I put the crudites? Etc. etc. I find myself secretly hoping that people will cancel on us after we invite them over. I dread the visits for days beforehand. Anyone else like this? How do you deal? I am an anxious person by nature and I care too much what people think about me, I need to get over it! Our friends have had to invite themselves over in order to meet our now-several-months-old baby.


OP, don't bother hosting. No-one will enjoy to be around you in your house. I love to have people over, and my house is far away from perfect, but we always have people popping up even without invitation (mom dropped my kid after practice or playdate -- she is always invited for cup of coffee or glass of wine; I chat with the neighbor this morning while walking my dog -- the neighbor invited for breakfast at our house; kids friends are always welcome here; I have few good friends who can just pop up any time they are around in our area without invitation. My house is clean most of the time, have no clutter. We did a lot of DIY fixing it, so the paint job is superb. The rest of the things -- no one cares. People just to want to have a good time, and if you act relaxed and welcoming, everyone will have a good time.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2020 19:58     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Hate hate hate it.

No interest whatsoever.

Love ya.

Just not here.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2020 19:45     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
I don't like entertain/party people at my home. A short time visiting is fine, but no meals at home and DO NOT stay over.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2018 15:43     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today, I finally admitted to myself that I HATE having people over to my home. I am a very social person and love getting together with friends, but I become so anxious when anyone visits - is my house clean enough? What will we eat? How does the lawn look? Will people notice the crappy paint job in the living room? Should we eat outside or inside? Where should I put the crudites? Etc. etc. I find myself secretly hoping that people will cancel on us after we invite them over. I dread the visits for days beforehand. Anyone else like this? How do you deal? I am an anxious person by nature and I care too much what people think about me, I need to get over it! Our friends have had to invite themselves over in order to meet our now-several-months-old baby.


I can honestly say that I have never attended a function at someone’s home where I paid one bit of attention to what you worry about. I’m happy to be invited and enjoy the food and socializing. If someone hasn’t vacuumed or mopped for two weeks, I wouldn’t notice.


A bit cluttered and not-polished? Totally fine.

Seriously dirty, when you know I'm coming over because YOU invited me? I know you're not a clean person, and I don't want to eat your food. Especially if you have kids and/or pets.

I went to a house party once and consumed nothing other than sparkling water for three hours. It was THAT bad.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2018 15:28     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:Today, I finally admitted to myself that I HATE having people over to my home. I am a very social person and love getting together with friends, but I become so anxious when anyone visits - is my house clean enough? What will we eat? How does the lawn look? Will people notice the crappy paint job in the living room? Should we eat outside or inside? Where should I put the crudites? Etc. etc. I find myself secretly hoping that people will cancel on us after we invite them over. I dread the visits for days beforehand. Anyone else like this? How do you deal? I am an anxious person by nature and I care too much what people think about me, I need to get over it! Our friends have had to invite themselves over in order to meet our now-several-months-old baby.


I can honestly say that I have never attended a function at someone’s home where I paid one bit of attention to what you worry about. I’m happy to be invited and enjoy the food and socializing. If someone hasn’t vacuumed or mopped for two weeks, I wouldn’t notice.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2018 15:24     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:Today, I finally admitted to myself that I HATE having people over to my home. I am a very social person and love getting together with friends, but I become so anxious when anyone visits - is my house clean enough? What will we eat? How does the lawn look? Will people notice the crappy paint job in the living room? Should we eat outside or inside? Where should I put the crudites? Etc. etc. I find myself secretly hoping that people will cancel on us after we invite them over. I dread the visits for days beforehand. Anyone else like this? How do you deal? I am an anxious person by nature and I care too much what people think about me, I need to get over it! Our friends have had to invite themselves over in order to meet our now-several-months-old baby.


This is not normal, you need to get over it.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2018 15:14     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
Anonymous wrote:I like having visitors in my home in small doses. I do not like children that are so loud and destructive and nosy that I cannot relax and enjoy the parents who are my Grandchildren. The kids do not listen and of course, are bored in a mobile home park for Seniors. I do not like to cook and clean up or have to clean the house after it all. I am 71 with a bad back. It is far easier for me to take a couple of dishes to their house and they only have to accommodate 1 person as opposed to me feeding and catering to about 8. I do not want my things broken and they have done that with their roughhousing. Please advise.


Don't host. You're over it, and that's fine--but then don't invite and be grouchy.

They can stay in a hotel.

Or you can all meet up at a reastaurant.

Or you can just visit them.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2018 15:10     Subject: Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
I like having visitors in my home in small doses. I do not like children that are so loud and destructive and nosy that I cannot relax and enjoy the parents who are my Grandchildren. The kids do not listen and of course, are bored in a mobile home park for Seniors. I do not like to cook and clean up or have to clean the house after it all. I am 71 with a bad back. It is far easier for me to take a couple of dishes to their house and they only have to accommodate 1 person as opposed to me feeding and catering to about 8. I do not want my things broken and they have done that with their roughhousing. Please advise.
Anonymous
Post 10/02/2017 22:59     Subject: Re:Anyone else HATE having people to their home?
We have a very small house. I am on the claustrphobic side, so I do not enjoy entertaining. Everyone gravitates to the kitchen and there is barely space for two people in there.
What works for me is entertaining in the summer ( or any time you can sit outside). Bbqs work as people sit outside and i can have the kitchen to myself for prep..
Other times , we just meet friends for dinner out.