Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twice a week cleaning service. Hourly rates for any domestic chores. These ladies have worked for me for past 10 years.

Lawn mowing and lawn treatment services.

Organic milk, poultry, fish, meat and soft skin fruits.

Kids EC activities, coaches and tutors at home.

Weekly massages at home.

Expensive haircut every three weeks with 30% tip.

Hired help for serving food for all at home dinner parties.

Home renovation and maintenance.

Annual big vacation.

I am very frugal in ways that does not show to others.

What other ways are left to be frugal? Cheap gifts?

I’m going to go with “cheap in regards to others”.

So no tipping, no staff bonus, no savings for college.

LOL. I told you that my frugality does not show. Read the list below. Many of you will pay for these costs and not think anything of it. My splurge is paying for service mainly. (and some organic food and one overseas vacation). I could go on for a long time but here is a partial list.

1) I cook all/most meals. I do not get catered food for large parties that we host frequently because of DH's job. I cook for 60-70 people at a time. (how often do you pay for prepared meals during the day?)
2) Kids go to public schools in well regarded, highly competitive programs. (ie no private school cost)
3) No designer clothes or accessories. I source amazing pieces from overseas because my sister is in garments and accessory business, for next to nothing or for free.
4) I color and highlight my own hair, do all my beauty treatments at home with homemade products - wax, facials, bath scrubs. Mix my own lotions and oils. My own mani, pedi, peels, microdermabrasion. I buy all prescription strength skin care products (serums, creams) from overseas.
5) Shop for every day clothes on sale at Macy's, Kohl's, Amazon, Land's End, Costco.
6) Shop at Walmart, Aldi's, Costco, Asian markets for most groceries and booze. We entertain a lot. Most food bought at wholesale prices.
7) Grow my plants from seeds. I have a lovely garden overflowing with flowers. My costs is less than $20 a season. I have fabulous houseplants that I divide, grow and gift.
8) All drycleaning at a wholesale drycleaner.
9) House at a low COL area.
10) State college tuition prepaid for all three. Pension and retirement on track. No private school costs.
11) Never fly first class. Get the lowest airfare, use ff miles, always economy.
12) Nice but not expensive cars. Nothing above $35K. Drive it till they are on their last legs.
13) Green lifestyle- solar panels, hybrid cars, compost, rain barrels, free-cycle.
14) Refinish and reupholster most furniture. I used to work in an interior design company. I can make a house look high end with ordinary things.
15) Never paid for - IVF, therapy, cosmetic surgery or procedures, prepackaged meal plans, botox, anti-anxiety meds, hair extensions, fake nails, fake tan, hair blowouts, eyebrow shaping, gym memberships, spa day.
16) No pets. (Yes, this is a huge hidden cost that no one thinks about. Pets are expensive).
17) No clubbing, no drugs, no gambling, no going to topless bar, no smoking, no drinking except during parties.
18) Vacation in moderately priced hotels, friend's homes, airBnB. Never stay at resorts.
19) Marriage is intact so - no attorney's fees, no alimony and child support. Maintaining only one household.
20) While raising kids - hardly used diapers or formula. Kids wore disposable diapers only at night and out of the house. BF the kids. Cloth diapers. Kids were potty trained very early.
21) No Starbucks.
22) Great dental hygiene. Did not have to pay for dental work that stems out of poor hygiene. All usual dental cleaning for the entire family is covered by insurance.
23) Meet all my health care deductibles during the first two months of the year by scheduling the entire family's well visit during that time.
24) No debt except a very low mortgage.
25) Used my employer's benefits to go to school part-time for years. If your employer will reimburse tuition (even a measly amount) then use that to go to school for a certification or degree. It is free money and eventually you will have the credits required to get your degree or certificate.
26) I will always try and find a deal for any merchandise/service that I can.
27) Selling at eBay. I started because I am always decluttering my home and electronics and now this has become an easy way to make money, instead of hosting a garage sale.
28) No swimming pool at our house.
29) No beach house.
30) Simplified holiday gift giving with family and friends. We only do the one gift per person rule through a secret Santa gift giving. We are not going crazy buying tons of stuff for everyone.
31) Full house remodeling done under $50 K (labor and material) and we did not have to move to a hotel when the work was going on. I sourced all material from wholesale vendors and through connections from builders etc. The same would have cost at least $150 on the open market. I got the work done off-season (winter).
32) Wash and detail all my cars by myself. Kids help.

You live a very privileged life and it's great you do. Yet, most of what you wrote is not frugality, that's why your "frugality doesn't show". You don't realize how fortunate you are that you don't have to spend money on some of the things I've highlighted, no one wants to "splurge" on IVF, believe me.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:Well, I came here to say I use the most expensive toilet paper as an everyday spurge, but after reading about safaris etc.. I guess I'm one of the poors. My tp makes me feel rich though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we the only ones with weekly cleaners? Is that indulgent? It's probably a wash costwise and it seems to be easier on our lady to come each week and lightly clean. We are not messy but we have two dogs so it's mostly floors/bathrooms.

We do every-other-week. It's a bit of a hassle to prep for the cleaners and for us it doesn't seem worth spending more to get the full cleaning weekly. We wipe down our bathrooms daily and will vacuum the living area in the off-week. I feel like the full deep clean is only needed every 2 weeks.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single mom on a decent but not lavish income. I get a teaspoon of child support but no actual physical presence in my child's life from his father. I have a very limited support system and take on a lot emotionally and physically taking care of my child by myself.

Since I work hard and work a lot, my splurge is our vacations. I spend thousands every year for 2-3 nice trips. These give me and my child time to get away from the hard grind of our daily lives and focus on our bond. I consider it money well spent and don't regret a dime of any vacation $$ I've spent. Our memories and time together are priceless.

My second splurge is our home. I bought at the top of my affordability range to make sure we are in a safe area with excellent schools and close to major job centers. It has worked out well and I have no regrets, even though I do still cringe at my mortgage and tax payments sometimes. But the peace of mind is worth it.

Thirdly, since I have limited time, I splurge on healthy prepared meals for us. I don't have the time to cook a lot or grocery shop, so this has helped save my sanity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a 100k African safari

I need more details please!

And boy do I feel small potatoes with my once a month cleaning service (amazing!) and regular takeout

We went 7 years ago, I think. The two of us, our four adult children (college aged through late 20s) and our SIL. A four week trip. Landed in Cairo during the height of the Arab Spring (the pyramids were so deserted we felt like it was a private tour); from there to the Masai Mara in Kenya, then Rwanda to see the mountain guerrillas, followed by five or six days high-end camping in Botswana (think chandelier over a beautiful dining room table serving a gourmet meal with a private bartender in a tent in the middle of bush country), then Zimbabwe and the Victoria Falls Hotel for a few days, then four days in Cape Town in a luxury hotel. No expense spared. Best money we ever spent.

Wow - that sounds absolutely incredible.

I don't mean to derail this conversation - but was this a trip you'd planned for a decade? How did it come about? How did you save $100k to pay for it?

Anonymous wrote:Our second home. Within driving distance for weekends away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Twice a week cleaning service. Hourly rates for any domestic chores. These ladies have worked for me for past 10 years.

Lawn mowing and lawn treatment services.

Organic milk, poultry, fish, meat and soft skin fruits.

Kids EC activities, coaches and tutors at home.

Weekly massages at home.

Expensive haircut every three weeks with 30% tip.

Hired help for serving food for all at home dinner parties.

Home renovation and maintenance.

Annual big vacation.

I am very frugal in ways that does not show to others.

What other ways are left to be frugal? Cheap gifts?

I’m going to go with “cheap in regards to others”.

So no tipping, no staff bonus, no savings for college.

LOL. I told you that my frugality does not show. Read the list below. Many of you will pay for these costs and not think anything of it. My splurge is paying for service mainly. (and some organic food and one overseas vacation). I could go on for a long time but here is a partial list.

1) I cook all/most meals. I do not get catered food for large parties that we host frequently because of DH's job. I cook for 60-70 people at a time. (how often do you pay for prepared meals during the day?)
2) Kids go to public schools in well regarded, highly competitive programs. (ie no private school cost)
3) No designer clothes or accessories. I source amazing pieces from overseas because my sister is in garments and accessory business, for next to nothing or for free.
4) I color and highlight my own hair, do all my beauty treatments at home with homemade products - wax, facials, bath scrubs. Mix my own lotions and oils. My own mani, pedi, peels, microdermabrasion. I buy all prescription strength skin care products (serums, creams) from overseas.
5) Shop for every day clothes on sale at Macy's, Kohl's, Amazon, Land's End, Costco.
6) Shop at Walmart, Aldi's, Costco, Asian markets for most groceries and booze. We entertain a lot. Most food bought at wholesale prices.
7) Grow my plants from seeds. I have a lovely garden overflowing with flowers. My costs is less than $20 a season. I have fabulous houseplants that I divide, grow and gift.
8) All drycleaning at a wholesale drycleaner.
9) House at a low COL area.
10) State college tuition prepaid for all three. Pension and retirement on track. No private school costs.
11) Never fly first class. Get the lowest airfare, use ff miles, always economy.
12) Nice but not expensive cars. Nothing above $35K. Drive it till they are on their last legs.
13) Green lifestyle- solar panels, hybrid cars, compost, rain barrels, free-cycle.
14) Refinish and reupholster most furniture. I used to work in an interior design company. I can make a house look high end with ordinary things.
15) Never paid for - IVF, therapy, cosmetic surgery or procedures, prepackaged meal plans, botox, anti-anxiety meds, hair extensions, fake nails, fake tan, hair blowouts, eyebrow shaping, gym memberships, spa day.
16) No pets. (Yes, this is a huge hidden cost that no one thinks about. Pets are expensive).
17) No clubbing, no drugs, no gambling, no going to topless bar, no smoking, no drinking except during parties.
18) Vacation in moderately priced hotels, friend's homes, airBnB. Never stay at resorts.
19) Marriage is intact so - no attorney's fees, no alimony and child support. Maintaining only one household.
20) While raising kids - hardly used diapers or formula. Kids wore disposable diapers only at night and out of the house. BF the kids. Cloth diapers. Kids were potty trained very early.
21) No Starbucks.
22) Great dental hygiene. Did not have to pay for dental work that stems out of poor hygiene. All usual dental cleaning for the entire family is covered by insurance.
23) Meet all my health care deductibles during the first two months of the year by scheduling the entire family's well visit during that time.
24) No debt except a very low mortgage.
25) Used my employer's benefits to go to school part-time for years. If your employer will reimburse tuition (even a measly amount) then use that to go to school for a certification or degree. It is free money and eventually you will have the credits required to get your degree or certificate.
26) I will always try and find a deal for any merchandise/service that I can.
27) Selling at eBay. I started because I am always decluttering my home and electronics and now this has become an easy way to make money, instead of hosting a garage sale.
28) No swimming pool at our house.
29) No beach house.
30) Simplified holiday gift giving with family and friends. We only do the one gift per person rule through a secret Santa gift giving. We are not going crazy buying tons of stuff for everyone.
31) Full house remodeling done under $50 K (labor and material) and we did not have to move to a hotel when the work was going on. I sourced all material from wholesale vendors and through connections from builders etc. The same would have cost at least $150 on the open market. I got the work done off-season (winter).
32) Wash and detail all my cars by myself. Kids help.

You live a very privileged life and it's great you do. Yet, most of what you wrote is not frugality, that's why your "frugality doesn't show". You don't realize how fortunate you are that you don't have to spend money on some of the things I've highlighted, no one wants to "splurge" on IVF, believe me.

Anonymous wrote:Are we the only ones with weekly cleaners? Is that indulgent? It's probably a wash costwise and it seems to be easier on our lady to come each week and lightly clean. We are not messy but we have two dogs so it's mostly floors/bathrooms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^I know, right?

I never paid for IVF or therapy or anxiolytics. Wow, good for you! Some people don't have an option, at least if they want a shot at the life they want to live or even to be reasonably functional in society (re: therapy and meds).

Talk about a compassion-free post.

I bet she also cleverly saved money by not having open heart surgery, not having her house destroyed in a hurricane, and t having a child with special needs!

What a tool.

Anonymous wrote:Vacations. Especially safaris in Africa.

Just back from a two week safari and it's our third one. There will be another one. And another one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we the only ones with weekly cleaners? Is that indulgent? It's probably a wash costwise and it seems to be easier on our lady to come each week and lightly clean. We are not messy but we have two dogs so it's mostly floors/bathrooms.

We did it when we had a full menagerie (three pets, no kids) and were in a really intense career phase. I didn't think it was indulgent - things later calmed down and we went back to every other week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a service/experience splurge person.

Fly first class.
Eat out great restaurants.
Lots of travel and travel well.
Cleaning service once a week.
Buy the best seats to concerts/shows.

I don't spend a lot of money on physical stuff - house, furniture, clothes, jewelry, cars. Just never been a stuff person.

100% agree with this one. I don't waste my money going if I can't get this.