Anonymous wrote:It’s funny how people on DCUM want to seem old money when they aren’t, and my rich kid friends so desperately want to seem self made.

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Anonymous wrote:The old-money people I know dress like bums, drive older cars and have old hand me down furniture - but expensive houses and educations. I think that buying stuff is boring to them and they are not trying to impress anyone anyway.

The furniture thing is funny. In some circles in Britain it's considered nouveau to buy your own furniture. The "hand me downs" are often really nice (Queen Anne or Georgian) antiques with a sprinkling of granny's chintz chairs or sofa that, several decades on, look pretty ratty.

Another thing. If your silverware includes fish forks, your family bought it after about 1880, so it's not truly "old." And don't call the stuff in your kitchen drawer silverware--it's flatware.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like what these threads are *actually* asking is ... what subtle cues could I convey to obtain some kind of social advantage?

The reality is that new money is often going to be more advantageous in many social situations, as new money can afford the multiple nanny / multiple home / vaca all the time lifestyle that DCUM covets. Old money is only advantageous to those who "know," especially as future generations rarely have the OG money. But because it's DC, people are trying to strive for the veneer of whatever their social ideal is, and no one's ideal is "new money" - so people want the $$ signifier and the class signifier and are tying themselves in knots trying to figure it out.

End of the day, my view is you can front the WASPy old money thing, but unless you have the pedigree, it won't get you anywhere. And if you don't have the new money baller cash ... you just don't. (I include myself in this FWIW.) So just do what makes you happy - and if the snobby private school moms aren't into you, then they aren't your people.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mercedes E350 Wagon

lol no

You’d be surprised. The wagon buyers have the highest net worth of any other MB buyers.

Anonymous wrote:The old-money people I know dress like bums, drive older cars and have old hand me down furniture - but expensive houses and educations. I think that buying stuff is boring to them and they are not trying to impress anyone anyway.

Anonymous wrote:They don't post on social media. They value self control and discretion.

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Anonymous wrote:Crappy house with great family antiques. Cause the money is gone but granny's stuff stuck around.

Lol this is so us. DH is old DC money (with former hippie parents) and I swear the art on our walls is worth more than the house itself. We rolled up the antique rugs when we had kids, but they’re in the basement waiting and are much nicer than the Wayfair ones we have out now. Marrying into old money has taught me that the sweet spot is having enough money to bail your kids out and help with the big things, but not so much that they get comfortable with having nice things. Work for your money, but don’t lose sleep over something going wrong.

Finding that moths had feasted on the antique rugs when you unroll them . . . then shrugging it off. . .

Anonymous wrote:The old-money people I know dress like bums, drive older cars and have old hand me down furniture - but expensive houses and educations. I think that buying stuff is boring to them and they are not trying to impress anyone anyway.

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Anonymous wrote:Two of my friends are very old money (railroad and a well known household name brand) and the immediate answer I have is that they exude a type of confidence that is magnetic and settled. Super humble. Excellent conversationalists, likely drilled into them by their great great grandparents. Good posture and strong sense of self. Elite colleges and prep schools. Unique style - in the sense that they could probably be ok no matter what they wear so they just put clothes on that feel good to them. No sense of striving, even though one is crazy successful in tech. The other dabbles in a series of creative pursuits while also staying home with kids. They both have casual family homes in multiple places. Registered for china/entertaining items at scully and scully or Gumps. Their first apartments weren’t in fancy high rises but had been their (insert family member’s) place in that city. Their weddings were surprisingly nice and expensive, in that none of our friends were completely aware of the extent of the wealth until we saw the decor, etc (even at an outdoor wedding on family property). At one of them the patriarch showed up in a cream linen suit. He was maybe 90. They drove Subarus and Toyotas till they broke down. If you are trying to replicate that vibe, Op, I think it is really hard. Some things are just in the breeding.

I'm sorry, your friends knew their great great grandparents? Did every generation have their children at 13? That seems the only way that this is feasible.

Whoops meant great grandparents… now we are much older and one of their grannies is still making martinis at 101.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two of my friends are very old money (railroad and a well known household name brand) and the immediate answer I have is that they exude a type of confidence that is magnetic and settled. Super humble. Excellent conversationalists, likely drilled into them by their great great grandparents. Good posture and strong sense of self. Elite colleges and prep schools. Unique style - in the sense that they could probably be ok no matter what they wear so they just put clothes on that feel good to them. No sense of striving, even though one is crazy successful in tech. The other dabbles in a series of creative pursuits while also staying home with kids. They both have casual family homes in multiple places. Registered for china/entertaining items at scully and scully or Gumps. Their first apartments weren’t in fancy high rises but had been their (insert family member’s) place in that city. Their weddings were surprisingly nice and expensive, in that none of our friends were completely aware of the extent of the wealth until we saw the decor, etc (even at an outdoor wedding on family property). At one of them the patriarch showed up in a cream linen suit. He was maybe 90. They drove Subarus and Toyotas till they broke down. If you are trying to replicate that vibe, Op, I think it is really hard. Some things are just in the breeding.

I'm sorry, your friends knew their great great grandparents? Did every generation have their children at 13? That seems the only way that this is feasible.