Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 21:02     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
When kids were babies didn’t get up once in the night to help with them. His line, I work, you breastfeed” it was awful. We had a really colicky baby and I battled constant mastitis and PPD. We are ok now , 14 years later, but I obviously still have resentment.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 20:51     Subject: Re:What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.


Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?


Honestly I have a wonderful husband too and I told him to go home and get some sleep. It's not like I was on a mountain top alone. I was in the hospital!


When my first was born via C-section I was in the hospital for about 5 days. My poor DH pulled his back out and could barely move yet he would show up at the hospital at 6am, go to work, come back at 5pm and then go home at 11pm. I felt good and I had all the help I needed and he truly suffered. He needed an epidural! He's done a bunch of dumb things over the years but I still remember him almost crawling into the hospital to be with me and my son.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 20:39     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.


Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.


Wanting to have your baby isn't being selfish. Wanting to kill an inconvenient baby is being selfish.


Yawn.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 20:26     Subject: Re:What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.


Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?


Honestly I have a wonderful husband too and I told him to go home and get some sleep. It's not like I was on a mountain top alone. I was in the hospital!
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 18:58     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:To the Breaking Bad poster— get some individual marital counseling or whatever it takes to get you past your resentment (maybe just do a couple hits of the blue stuff) because seasons 3-5 are incredible and you are missing out!


The struggle is real. During the government shutdown a few years ago, I had to work and my spouse watched the rest of Breaking Bad without me.

I joke that we’re going to buy these for marital bliss:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.yahoo.com/amphtml/lifestyle/this-ring-locks-your-netflix-so-your-partner-cant-watch-without-you-141116085.html
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 18:19     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
To the Breaking Bad poster— get some individual marital counseling or whatever it takes to get you past your resentment (maybe just do a couple hits of the blue stuff) because seasons 3-5 are incredible and you are missing out!
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 16:47     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Had an affair while we were going through IVF. I just had my nuts operated on.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 14:55     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
DH is pretty wonderful but the most selfish thing he’s ever done was go back to work and leave me at home alone with a 3yo and 2 day old baby. I was in such bad shape having suffered from pre and postnpartum depression. I’m kind of amazed we (me and the kids) survived.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 14:45     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Those of you with resentment toward your husbands for not staying with you, by the hospital bed, after childbirth -- do you do the same for him when he is hospitalized? Or is he expected to "be a man" and deal with it?


When a wife gives birth, she is taking a major, major hit for the team, and then she is expected to get up and run a marathon whilst injured (i.e., caring for a newborn after delivery, let alone a C). Hell yes, her supportive team member should be there, cheering her on. Maybe he can't score the touchdown himself, but he should be running down the field with her all the way.

Does that make any more sense to you?

Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 14:40     Subject: Re:What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:I'd heard so much about Breaking Bad, I started watching the old episodes on Hulu. I realized what a fabulous series it was, told DH he'd love it and we should watch it together. I re-watched half the first season with him (so we could enjoy it together and talk about it, KWIM?). We watched 2 seasons together. He then got sick and took a week off work. While he was off, he watched all the remaining episodes without me. But, he didn't tell me until after he'd watched them all! What a selfish prick! I have since refused to watch any more of them. F*ck it.

Now, I don't even bother to find shows we might watch together. I just look for shows our tween DS and I can enjoy together (it was something we did even before binging on Breaking Bad). When DH asks me about shows we should watch together, I just look at him and say "Breaking Bad".

Otherwise, he's a good guy and our marriage is pretty good.


Something tells me that your Gary Chapman love language is "Quality Time".
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 14:35     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
I think a lot of these are pretty bad. This is supposed to be the person who has your back above all. For them to drop the ball like some of these examples... unless all their other behaviour was 100% awesome so it was forgiven as out of character, I'd have a hard time forgetting/forgiving.

Especially ANYTHING involving having a baby. Glad some of you were playing jai alai and mixing drinks for guests immediately postpartum but I was a damn mess and my love for DH deepened due to how gentle/thoughtful/funny and kind he was in those first few days after all our kids.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 14:11     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Those of you with resentment toward your husbands for not staying with you, by the hospital bed, after childbirth -- do you do the same for him when he is hospitalized? Or is he expected to "be a man" and deal with it?


I bring a baby to his post operative room and go home to take a nap.


Yup that would be the equivalent situation that the napping dad apologists don't see.

I also had a bad experience at a "baby friendly" hospital.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 14:09     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Would go on a boys golf trip every late winter, leaving me with baby/toddler. Final straw was when I was very pregnant with #2, we had a blizzard, the furnace died, I had to drive my very pregnant self in the blizzard to a relative's where they had heat.
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 14:06     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Well, while we’re on delivery stories... after my first delivery, my spouse took a conference call from my postpartum room at Sibley (ie, ridiculously tiny) with his work computer booted up on my bed tray and when the baby cried he shot me ‘that look’.



Men can be such asses!
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2018 13:09     Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Left me at Walmart when I was 8 months pregnant. I didn't even have any shoes. I guess he was afraid of becoming a dad.


There's got to be more to the story. What happened to your shoes?
. She was able to live in the Walmart for a couple weeks I hiding away after it closed down every night. She would just go and sleep in the camping section and get everything she needed off the shelves.