Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:45
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
I think you did the right thing OP. From his response I think he is aware of and agrees that her behavior has crossed the line from platonic running buddy to flirtatious / putting out feelers. My guess is that although he has had no plans to act on it, he (of course) feels flattered and enjoys the attention, and likely has also been feeling a little guilty about it and for not putting a direct and blatant stop to it
I used to run and completely agree that some real (and often unexpected) bonding often goes on with distance running. This sounds like the kind of situation that could have turned into a slippery slope for him, even if his intentions were innocent. I'm glad you talked to him, and that he responded in. Reasonable and respectful way that acknowledges your feelings are his priority - that's how marriage works
I used to run and completely agree that some real (and often unexpected) bonding often goes on with distance running. This sounds like the kind of situation that could have turned into a slippery slope for him, even if his intentions were innocent. I'm glad you talked to him, and that he responded in. Reasonable and respectful way that acknowledges your feelings are his priority - that's how marriage works
Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:45
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Soooo much insecurity on this thread. I completely forgot that once you're married the ability to have platonic friends of the opposite sex becomes off-limits.
No heterosexual man wants to platonic friends with an attractive woman.
I do. I have self-control. I'm also only average looking so I doubt they're interested. But why wouldn't I want to be in the company of women who are easy on the eyes?
Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:41
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
If you are uncomfortable with the way things are happening, then you should listen to your intuition and move forward in talking to your husband. You might ask how he might feel if the situation were reversed? The longer we spend getting to know someone and being with them the stronger the bond becomes. As the others have mentioned it seems to be progressing to a pretty intimate level. My prayer is he will respect your opinions and be open to putting more distance between the two of them. Hugs and prayers from Texas
Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:41
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:Soooo much insecurity on this thread. I completely forgot that once you're married the ability to have platonic friends of the opposite sex becomes off-limits.
No heterosexual man wants to platonic friends with an attractive woman.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:41
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:OP again. This is my last response.
I'm floored that there are folks that don't believe that someone, my husband in this case, could have such a kind and loving response. It makes me sad for you that you may not have ever experienced this. At dinner tonight, not only did he reiterate everything he said earlier, but he also talked to another (male) friend about working towards doing the Marine Corp Marathon.
Who has time to troll, especially with all my detail? I certainly don't.
Thank you for the kind legitimate responses I got. It really did help.
My thoughts exactly, OP. I guess if anything this attitude is easy to reconcile with the fact that there are so many bitter, unhappy divorced people on here - no one can relate to or even comprehend the type of dynamic that occurs in mature, healthy, and long-enduring marriages. These responses are certainly enlightening
Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:38
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
My DH has a female running partner and they do races together. She is gorgeous and runs in a running bra and tiny shorts, but i am sure there is nothing going on. Her husband runs with them when he’s not deployed. I’m not into running but come support them in races. However,, “happy birthday gorgeous”? That is weird. Red flag there unless it’s some sort of inside joke. And finding childcare at 5 am? Really? Totally bizarre.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:23
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:Maybe their kids would still be asleep at 5am?
My kids are asleep at 3am but that doesn't mean we can just go out and leave them alone.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:21
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Maybe their kids would still be asleep at 5am?
Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:20
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:I'm still trying to figure out what options are available for watching OP's kids at 5:00am. If she's not a troll, then her DH obviously knew this wasn't an option, but I guess she bought it anyways.
Hope the kids don't wake up or need anything any day at 5am? Lol. Can't think of any options either.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:19
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
I'm still trying to figure out what options are available for watching OP's kids at 5:00am. If she's not a troll, then her DH obviously knew this wasn't an option, but I guess she bought it anyways.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:00
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I......would put this in the category of "no."
Seems perfectly reasonable to say to DH "Look. I know you like running and I know Stacey is a nice person. And I trust you, but I have to be honest it makes me very uncomfortable that you run with her so often."
Good advice, but, to play Devil's Advocate, what if her name is not Stacey and he (the husband) just to thinks to himself Stacey? I haven't been running with any "Stacey." And then just goes, "Yeah, sure, fine I'll stop running with 'Stacey,' no problem." But really he's going to keep running with her, whatever her name really is. Just a thought.
Am I the only one here who found this hilarious?
Nope, I also thought this was a plus. DCUM at its finest.
^^A+ not a plus.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 22:00
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I......would put this in the category of "no."
Seems perfectly reasonable to say to DH "Look. I know you like running and I know Stacey is a nice person. And I trust you, but I have to be honest it makes me very uncomfortable that you run with her so often."
Good advice, but, to play Devil's Advocate, what if her name is not Stacey and he (the husband) just to thinks to himself Stacey? I haven't been running with any "Stacey." And then just goes, "Yeah, sure, fine I'll stop running with 'Stacey,' no problem." But really he's going to keep running with her, whatever her name really is. Just a thought.
Am I the only one here who found this hilarious?
Nope, I also thought this was a plus. DCUM at its finest.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 21:58
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
OP again. This is my last response.
I'm floored that there are folks that don't believe that someone, my husband in this case, could have such a kind and loving response. It makes me sad for you that you may not have ever experienced this. At dinner tonight, not only did he reiterate everything he said earlier, but he also talked to another (male) friend about working towards doing the Marine Corp Marathon.
Who has time to troll, especially with all my detail? I certainly don't.
Thank you for the kind legitimate responses I got. It really did help.
I'm floored that there are folks that don't believe that someone, my husband in this case, could have such a kind and loving response. It makes me sad for you that you may not have ever experienced this. At dinner tonight, not only did he reiterate everything he said earlier, but he also talked to another (male) friend about working towards doing the Marine Corp Marathon.
Who has time to troll, especially with all my detail? I certainly don't.
Thank you for the kind legitimate responses I got. It really did help.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 21:33
Subject: Re:He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP HERE.
Does everyone want to know how this turned out?
He came home for lunch and I told him I wanted to talk about the situation again. Because of all of your helpful posts, you gave me the confidence to tell him I didn't like him running with her so often and that I called Pacers and found a running group that he could join two days a week at 5am. I even mentioned seeing her text "Happy Birthday, Gorgeous!"
He smiled at me and said, "No problem. You are the most important thing in my life. She is the type of person that just gets really close to crossing the line of inappropriateness. If you want me to stop running with her, then done. She was just the only person that would reliably show up every...single...morning and run with me and kept me motivated but it's not worth it if you're uncomfortable. Will you please start running with me? We'll figure out what to do with the kids that early. And if you can't run that far, you can ride your bike or just stop early and I'll keep going. Even better if you could come with me to this running group."
DC Urban Moms...thank you very much!! I'm feeling A LOT better and I guess I'm going to start running now!
None of this happened.
+10000
Yup. No dude is that much of a mangina.
Anonymous
11/06/2017 21:11
Subject: He runs with her 5-6 days a week.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I......would put this in the category of "no."
Seems perfectly reasonable to say to DH "Look. I know you like running and I know Stacey is a nice person. And I trust you, but I have to be honest it makes me very uncomfortable that you run with her so often."
Good advice, but, to play Devil's Advocate, what if her name is not Stacey and he (the husband) just to thinks to himself Stacey? I haven't been running with any "Stacey." And then just goes, "Yeah, sure, fine I'll stop running with 'Stacey,' no problem." But really he's going to keep running with her, whatever her name really is. Just a thought.
Am I the only one here who found this hilarious?