Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is just one poster of a young kid who is generating all of the "I was poor, went to Harvard, will not buy Monclear" rhetoric. Shit changes as they get older and not all of it is within your control. The posters of young kids who "don't get why it's more expensive" need to stop lecturing me about something you know nothing about.

+1
It's like unsolicited parenting advice from the childless couple.

Why do you have to bring childfree people into it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is just one poster of a young kid who is generating all of the "I was poor, went to Harvard, will not buy Monclear" rhetoric. Shit changes as they get older and not all of it is within your control. The posters of young kids who "don't get why it's more expensive" need to stop lecturing me about something you know nothing about.

There's more than one. But go ahead and continue to believe that trips to Iceland and golf lessons are *esssentials*.

No more essential than a lactation consultant.

YES, most people will likely see some savings once daycare has ended. NO, it will not be as much as you might hope. Kindergarten and early elementary are pretty cheap, but costs will creep up after that, culminating in the bloodletting that is college, for those who go that route.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This area is extremely expensive and competitive. We have HS seniors. $1600 total for sat prep. $1500 for college applications ( including test scores) College trips. We did it cheap about $200 each one x 8 colleges. Kids cars. They have fender benders ( find a kid who hasn't ) wisdom teeth. Clothes and shoes. Health care. Counseling. Tutors. I guess it paid off in merit grant. But what if it hadn't?

- I never had a car
- I never visited any colleges
- I prepped myself for the SAT with books
- Wisdom teeth removal is a racket for dentists

This is all discretionary spending.

You are working class. No need to spend on these things. And that was then this is now. Hey I bought my SFH in Bethesda for $225. That was then ...

Is that supposed to be an insult? I'm not working class, but whatever. It's just funny that you people can't contemplate what a rich, full life is that does not involve spending so much money.

Anonymous wrote:I think there is just one poster of a young kid who is generating all of the "I was poor, went to Harvard, will not buy Monclear" rhetoric. Shit changes as they get older and not all of it is within your control. The posters of young kids who "don't get why it's more expensive" need to stop lecturing me about something you know nothing about.

There's more than one. But go ahead and continue to believe that trips to Iceland and golf lessons are *esssentials*.

Anonymous wrote:I think there is just one poster of a young kid who is generating all of the "I was poor, went to Harvard, will not buy Monclear" rhetoric. Shit changes as they get older and not all of it is within your control. The posters of young kids who "don't get why it's more expensive" need to stop lecturing me about something you know nothing about.

+1
It's like unsolicited parenting advice from the childless couple.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine are older now and the majority of our money spent on them is the costs associated with travel sports teams. It's not really the cost of the team as much as the trips out of town and hotels and food and flights etc. With 3 kids it's non stop.

For us they were expensive when they were babies until kindergarten. Then there was a few years where we got a bit of a break cost wise. Now we have 2 teens and a 10 year old and they're much more expensive than the baby phase.

I don't doubt 3 kids can add up but we are about to say good bye to our nanny as oldest heads for ft kindergarten. Does it cost you more than 55k annually? This year it cost about 45k for nanny and 11k for pt preshool (5 days for older and 1 day for younger). Next year with summer camps and 1 ft preschool tuition and 2 aftercare for both kids we'll probably save 15k. Once dc2 is in k we will save 22k. We have then both in classes and some summer camps even with nanny. This quarter I spent about 1000 for soccer, 2 lacrosse, ice skating, 2 swimming nd 3 gymnastic classes. Summer camp cost about 1500 total for 4 weeks for kid 1 and a week for 2nd kid.

I looked at our work dental insurance and for $10 per pay period, it will cover up to 5k in orthodontia for each kid, so that should help some. Although not looking forward to driving more I can't wait to see them get into their respective activities. Dc is really starting to live gymnastics and ice skating.

Most people, even with multiple kids, aren't spending nearly $5k/month on daycare in any given year -- you have a very expensive nanny. OPs post was about her $1200/month daycare, and that will likely be a wash. Your own numbers say that summer, camp, preschool, and 2 aftercare will be $15k, which works out to $800/kid/month -- add in a sport or lesson and you hit OP's daycare cost pretty quick.

So yes, if someone is really lavish in the infant years (all the gear and gadgets, breast feeding and formula feeding, nannies and night nurses), it will get cheaper. For most of us working stiffs with kids in plain old daycare, don't expect some bonanza of savings.

What so don't get is how the folks who were lavish in the baby years think they won't be in the older years., Spending a 1000 on breast feeding expenses? Get that kid braces and it will cost four times that. Need a full day camp because you work full time? I pay $1000 a week For camp forb2 kids. Want to go on vacation? Much easier to share a room with a six month old than a 16 yearvold, and still have a good vacation.

Baby clothes, shoes, toys, cheap. Big kids, two to three times as much.

I see what you're saying, but our biggest expense was childcare, and it was far from lavish. It would be nice if there were cheaper substitutes but there really are not in DC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look if you're one of those parents who don't care about enriching their children's lives with activities, lessons, summer camps, vacations, orthodontia, nice clothes and age appropriate toys (including the iphone and data plan they'll eventually need starting in upper elementary or ms), and oh yeah COLLEGE, then yes I guess you're right, they're not that expensive.

If you're the typical UMC parent who DOES care about all that stuff? They're expensive as f***.

and yet somehow I went to an Ivy League school and became a typical UMC parent, even though I never did any activities other than free school teams and bands, never took vacations, never had an iphone. This consumerist lifestyle is not necessary. Free yourself!

Were iPhones readily available when you were a teenager? You must be a very, very young parent. I did not grow up with the same standards, either, however times are a changing! You may be in for a rude awakening.

yeah, there was no expensive stuff when we grew up. expensive stuff appeared for the first time in the history of mankind the moment you became a parent. what a coincidence!

It's not just expensive things. Way more competitive than when we grew up. You seem determined that because you didn't have it, neither should your children. Maybe you will stick with that, but most parents I know want to help their children succeed.

speak for yourself. i was extremely competitive as a child, went to harvard and have a phd. there are many ways to compete and even more to be happy, successful and productive.

my 5 yo is extremely ambitious and competitive and i am looking for ways to diffuse that rather than add pressure.

btw, my children have travelled overseas multiple times. and i don't count that as "child cost". i do it because i enjoy it, not because it's a way for my children to "fit in" or be competitive and successful.

Please mention your Ivy League degree again. Also I'd like to hear of your 5 year old's accomplishments since she is "extremely ambitious and competitive". Is she MVP for soccer? Straight A's? Made a killer STEM fair project?
I would like some more tips from you on how to be so successful. It's really nice of you to come in and set all of us moms with older kids straight.

people pay me to learn from me so you are lucky that i am even responding to you. oh, and i have two ivy league degrees. you are basically spending money merely to hope that one day your kids will be as successful as me.

that my very young child is extremely ambitious and competitive is a personality trait. you know, something that we are born with and it's pretty obvious. school-level accomplishments such as soccer and straight As, which loom so huge in your mind, are a different animal entirely. success and happiness in life is yet another completely different thing, as you should sometimes remind yourself, know-it-all mom of middle-school kids.

For two Ivy League degrees, you are lacking some common sense. You are lecturing me about how straight A's "loom so huge in my mind" while telling us for the THIRD time about your Ivy League degrees, which clearly you beleive indicate your success. At the end of your full-of-yourself post you admonish me not to be a know it all. You really don't get it.

I think there is just one poster of a young kid who is generating all of the "I was poor, went to Harvard, will not buy Monclear" rhetoric. Shit changes as they get older and not all of it is within your control. The posters of young kids who "don't get why it's more expensive" need to stop lecturing me about something you know nothing about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how you're raising your children and what your expectations are. If you're preparing them for community college, it's likely cheaper. If they attend school with upper middle class children and you expect them to attend a selective four year college, there are additional costs. They're not required costs in the same way that daycare was, but they're costs that some parents would consider necessary to raise a child well.

Two of my children developed serious anxiety and it's quite often impossible to find psychiatrists and psychologists who are in network for your insurance. $300 a week for mental health care isn't something you can foresee when your child enters kindergarten. Tutors for organizational skills for a child with ADHD add up quickly too.

When you're working full time and have a toddler or two, life is pretty cheap (outside of child care) because you're exhausted. As they get older, you want to restart those activities you've given up - and you want to experience them with your children.

two children developing anxiety in a household that "expects them to attend a selective for your college". you don't say....

+1000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine are older now and the majority of our money spent on them is the costs associated with travel sports teams. It's not really the cost of the team as much as the trips out of town and hotels and food and flights etc. With 3 kids it's non stop.

For us they were expensive when they were babies until kindergarten. Then there was a few years where we got a bit of a break cost wise. Now we have 2 teens and a 10 year old and they're much more expensive than the baby phase.

I don't doubt 3 kids can add up but we are about to say good bye to our nanny as oldest heads for ft kindergarten. Does it cost you more than 55k annually? This year it cost about 45k for nanny and 11k for pt preshool (5 days for older and 1 day for younger). Next year with summer camps and 1 ft preschool tuition and 2 aftercare for both kids we'll probably save 15k. Once dc2 is in k we will save 22k. We have then both in classes and some summer camps even with nanny. This quarter I spent about 1000 for soccer, 2 lacrosse, ice skating, 2 swimming nd 3 gymnastic classes. Summer camp cost about 1500 total for 4 weeks for kid 1 and a week for 2nd kid.

I looked at our work dental insurance and for $10 per pay period, it will cover up to 5k in orthodontia for each kid, so that should help some. Although not looking forward to driving more I can't wait to see them get into their respective activities. Dc is really starting to live gymnastics and ice skating.

Most people, even with multiple kids, aren't spending nearly $5k/month on daycare in any given year -- you have a very expensive nanny. OPs post was about her $1200/month daycare, and that will likely be a wash. Your own numbers say that summer, camp, preschool, and 2 aftercare will be $15k, which works out to $800/kid/month -- add in a sport or lesson and you hit OP's daycare cost pretty quick.

So yes, if someone is really lavish in the infant years (all the gear and gadgets, breast feeding and formula feeding, nannies and night nurses), it will get cheaper. For most of us working stiffs with kids in plain old daycare, don't expect some bonanza of savings.

What so don't get is how the folks who were lavish in the baby years think they won't be in the older years., Spending a 1000 on breast feeding expenses? Get that kid braces and it will cost four times that. Need a full day camp because you work full time? I pay $1000 a week For camp forb2 kids. Want to go on vacation? Much easier to share a room with a six month old than a 16 yearvold, and still have a good vacation.

Baby clothes, shoes, toys, cheap. Big kids, two to three times as much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This area is extremely expensive and competitive. We have HS seniors. $1600 total for sat prep. $1500 for college applications ( including test scores) College trips. We did it cheap about $200 each one x 8 colleges. Kids cars. They have fender benders ( find a kid who hasn't ) wisdom teeth. Clothes and shoes. Health care. Counseling. Tutors. I guess it paid off in merit grant. But what if it hadn't?

- I never had a car
- I never visited any colleges
- I prepped myself for the SAT with books
- Wisdom teeth removal is a racket for dentists

This is all discretionary spending.

You are working class. No need to spend on these things. And that was then this is now. Hey I bought my SFH in Bethesda for $225. That was then ...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This area is extremely expensive and competitive. We have HS seniors. $1600 total for sat prep. $1500 for college applications ( including test scores) College trips. We did it cheap about $200 each one x 8 colleges. Kids cars. They have fender benders ( find a kid who hasn't ) wisdom teeth. Clothes and shoes. Health care. Counseling. Tutors. I guess it paid off in merit grant. But what if it hadn't?

- I never had a car
- I never visited any colleges
- I prepped myself for the SAT with books
- Wisdom teeth removal is a racket for dentists

This is all discretionary spending.

Okay, sure. But if we have the discretionary income, isn't it natural that we do things like this? I mean, kids really only NEED maybe three outfits a season, right? And man, they can wrap up in plastic instead of having a warm winter coat. They don't NEED beds, the floor will do! This isn't a thread about how much one can deprive their children of, simply people answering what having older kids looks like for them, cost wise. Of course that is going to look different for everyone, and family size and income naturally influences that.

Anonymous wrote:I keep reading this on this forum and am a bit perplexed. I mean how can it be more than daycare? Are the kids just in a ton of activities? We pay 1200 per month and I just can't imagine how something else will eat up that amount per month like daycare! What am I missing? Clothing we spend about $50-75 every 4 to 5 months buying a mix of new and used at consigments.

They eat a ton more. By middle school they can eat 2-3 times the amount the adults eat. plus, if you want them to eat healthy fresh food......this is by far the biggest expense people forget to tell you about. They frequently bring friends and everyone is always hungry.

Braces cost quite a bit.

If they play an instrument and you want them to take private lessons....

Savings for college adds up

They need more clothes and wear them out- after age six or so, you can't find consignment clothes. They seem to run through sneakers and their feet grow every 3 months.

Sports can cost a bit.

Before - after in ES is costly when you add in all the breaks. Some kids need someone at home after school in MS and HS to stay on the straight and narrow and sometimes you don't know what kind you have, so it may be better to hedge ones bets.

In HS , car insurance is high. Don't think girls are cheaper, cell phones have made their costs just as high as the boys.

You may find you really want an extra hotel room to ensure your sanity on family vacations. ?

They use a ton of hot water. Think at least double what you use now. Same for laundry. Same for dishwasher.

Their laptops. And other electronics cost a ton and... use a ton of electricity - also expect that to increase significantly

Just expect all your utilities to at least double

If your kid needs tutoring, it can be expensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the people who say that didn't have kids in daycare? My kids weren't ever in daycare (I was a SAHM during their younger years) so I'd say that statement is true for us.

++1

And again SAH is by far the bigger expense.

Absolutely. The long-term financial implications are compelling. If I had a healthy trust fund I would totally stay home for a couple years while the kids are little. But my family's overall well-being depends in part on the money I earn, so DH and I stay in the salt mines. Having a SAHP is a true luxury.

If you have children with special needs, it becomes more of a necessity. It all depends on ones individual situation.