12.49, We aren't stupid, we are well aware we have limited time to have kids, Stop being patronising.

As for the poster who said my saying that abusive women shouldn't have children, it was in response to the posters who say that all women should have children. Such an utterly stupid comment when there are so many women who should never be moms due to who they are as people.

I have two friends who are childless by quasi-choice (partners did not want children). One I think is making a mistake; the other is quite a peace and content. I have two other friends who just never met a partner in time. And I have a fifth friend who is very happily unpartnered and child-free (the only true "child-free" of the bunch.) So, a lot of different paths and reasons for ending up with no kids. But they're all amazing women and their reproductive status really has nothing at all to do with their lives. I'm sure they feel sad about it sometimes, but they have full, rich lives. Different from mine, but full and rich.

It depends.
I have friends who said they didn't want children by choice. And what happened. Their husband ended up having an affair and ended up becoming fathers. What happens to the former wives? They sit at home and go what the heck. Now they feel they are too old to have kids.

If you decide not to have kids, make sure it's what you really want as a woman. you can only have kids within a certain time or there would be high risks and low energy.

Anonymous wrote:Pretty sure the kids who have been badly abused by their moms would say in later life that their moms should never have even considered having children.

Which is a topic that is completely different than OP's original post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for people who never had kids. Not really those who were always firm and unwavering in their dislike of kids but more those who were on the fence and might have had them had circumstances been different (money, infertility, job constraints, no partner/met partner late in life). It's such a huge, enriching part of life. I can't imagine missing such a fundamental experience.

This is what gives us moms a bad name with childless women. Having children is a huge, enriching part of life, but if we're being honest, it's also a huge, annoying, repetitive, difficult pain-in-the ass at times. There are a million ways to get gratification and mothering doesn't need to be one of them to have a rich, full, wonderful life. I'd be sad if I hadn't had my kids, but there are lots of other things I'd have used my time, energy, and money on that would have brought me joy.

Amen sister.

PP isn't saying that it's the only way to find gratification. She's saying she feels bad for those who either did want them or were on the fence. I think you missed what PP was saying.

Pretty sure the kids who have been badly abused by their moms would say in later life that their moms should never have even considered having children.

Anonymous wrote:My best friend is childless by choice. She spends some time with my child and that is enough for her. I can tell she tolerates her (and when she drops her off she is just about done with the whole kid thing).

Some people just don't love/like kids.

But a lot of people would love their own kids. I don't really care for my friends ' children either. But I adore my own!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for people who never had kids. Not really those who were always firm and unwavering in their dislike of kids but more those who were on the fence and might have had them had circumstances been different (money, infertility, job constraints, no partner/met partner late in life). It's such a huge, enriching part of life. I can't imagine missing such a fundamental experience.

+1. This exactly. Having children and watching them grow is the essence of life.

I enjoy watching my kids grow but I also realize that it's a pretty brief segment of my entire life. There's no need to feel bad for people who never had kids.

My best friend is childless by choice. She spends some time with my child and that is enough for her. I can tell she tolerates her (and when she drops her off she is just about done with the whole kid thing).

Some people just don't love/like kids.

There are plenty of women who should not have kids for many reasons so to say all women should have them is ludicrous and damaging all at once.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for people who never had kids. Not really those who were always firm and unwavering in their dislike of kids but more those who were on the fence and might have had them had circumstances been different (money, infertility, job constraints, no partner/met partner late in life). It's such a huge, enriching part of life. I can't imagine missing such a fundamental experience.

+1. This exactly. Having children and watching them grow is the essence of life.

For you it is. Not for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see how someone might not want to raise kids. But it's hard for me to imagine how an older person wouldn't want to have adult kids. I have to imagine that on some level there is a certain regret that they don't have adult kids around, even if they don't think raising children would have been worth it.

You can imagine? Uh, okay. How about you imagine the opposite, which most childfree people have confirmed.

Why in the world would a person not desire to have a relationship with an adult child of their own?

NP here. I'm childfree and an introvert. To answer your question, I don't actually like most people. I have very close friends, but there are many people in my life I just tolerate -- family and coworkers. I think to myself, what if I don't like my child? More likely, what if I don't like their spouse? And if I had grandchildren, ugh, I'd have to feign interest in them, wouldn't I? I'd much rather just do my own thing, hopefully with my spouse (someone I chose rather than got stuck with) still by my side.

Hahaha. ILY.

If anything you'll love your own kids and get sick of your spouse or your spouse will betray you. I don't like most people except my kids and pets. Don't know about grand kids, but if I had a choice I'd opt for Grand Dogs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see how someone might not want to raise kids. But it's hard for me to imagine how an older person wouldn't want to have adult kids. I have to imagine that on some level there is a certain regret that they don't have adult kids around, even if they don't think raising children would have been worth it.

You can imagine? Uh, okay. How about you imagine the opposite, which most childfree people have confirmed.

Why in the world would a person not desire to have a relationship with an adult child of their own?

NP here. I'm childfree and an introvert. To answer your question, I don't actually like most people. I have very close friends, but there are many people in my life I just tolerate -- family and coworkers. I think to myself, what if I don't like my child? More likely, what if I don't like their spouse? And if I had grandchildren, ugh, I'd have to feign interest in them, wouldn't I? I'd much rather just do my own thing, hopefully with my spouse (someone I chose rather than got stuck with) still by my side.

Hahaha. ILY.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for people who never had kids. Not really those who were always firm and unwavering in their dislike of kids but more those who were on the fence and might have had them had circumstances been different (money, infertility, job constraints, no partner/met partner late in life). It's such a huge, enriching part of life. I can't imagine missing such a fundamental experience.

This is what gives us moms a bad name with childless women. Having children is a huge, enriching part of life, but if we're being honest, it's also a huge, annoying, repetitive, difficult pain-in-the ass at times. There are a million ways to get gratification and mothering doesn't need to be one of them to have a rich, full, wonderful life. I'd be sad if I hadn't had my kids, but there are lots of other things I'd have used my time, energy, and money on that would have brought me joy.

Amen sister.

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for people who never had kids. Not really those who were always firm and unwavering in their dislike of kids but more those who were on the fence and might have had them had circumstances been different (money, infertility, job constraints, no partner/met partner late in life). It's such a huge, enriching part of life. I can't imagine missing such a fundamental experience.

+1. This exactly. Having children and watching them grow is the essence of life.