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Anonymous wrote:PLEASE! This is a serious issue. A child is dead. Can we make our schools better? What can we do to prevent this?

Has FC brought in mental health professionals to interview families and students?

What exactly are the mental health professionals recommending?

They bring them in to 'help with stress reduction'. When I suggested that the school could simply reduce stress, the administrators just looked at me with blank stares. The mental health professionals, on the other hand, could not agree more. They are simply doing their best to counteract the daily damage being done.

INDEPENDENT Health Professionals MUST:

1. First IDENTIFY the PROBLEMS
2. Formally RECOMMEND the best SOLUTIONS

Nothing will improve until this happens. Believe me.

Anonymous wrote:^^^ that's not the teachers fault. How often do you hear parents on this thread spouting off about merit pay for teachers. Teachers who produce get better pay. Well how the hell is that measured? Oh that's right! Test scores.
Check out the thread on Hayfield. Bunch of a$$holes talking about how terrible Lee, Annandale, Stuart etc... are. They would never send their kids to a GS 5! Well, pick your poison. You want your property values, I guess some eggs get cracked in that omelette. God forbid you don't have a big enough "peer" group.
Quit blaming the administration and teachers. Or move ffs. You don't like the culture of that GS 10 school? Well honey, there are a bunch of 5's right down the road.

Much easier to spout off about how great her $40,000 private was.

^^^ that's not the teachers fault. How often do you hear parents on this thread spouting off about merit pay for teachers. Teachers who produce get better pay. Well how the hell is that measured? Oh that's right! Test scores.
Check out the thread on Hayfield. Bunch of a$$holes talking about how terrible Lee, Annandale, Stuart etc... are. They would never send their kids to a GS 5! Well, pick your poison. You want your property values, I guess some eggs get cracked in that omelette. God forbid you don't have a big enough "peer" group.
Quit blaming the administration and teachers. Or move ffs. You don't like the culture of that GS 10 school? Well honey, there are a bunch of 5's right down the road.

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Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

Agree.

No tragedy fails to bring out Bullis Mom and her gripes against Langley, based on her daughter's one year there (which was five or six years ago). Sigh.

Stop. Just stop.

No. It's Bullis Mom who needs to stop trying to make everything about her. That act - which centers around spreading a narrative about Langley that no one else with kids there recognized - got tired years ago and has not aged well.

It's not about me, you moron. When I see yet another area child has taken his life, it breaks my heart in a million pieces. And if I can do something to help, I damn well will. SO STFU.

Oh, Linda. It is always, always, always about you. Do you really think that isn't clear to everyone by now?

Naming her was unnecessary. Also, the original post she wrote said nothing about Langley, she only said she had a bad experience with another FCPS school. No bad mouthing of Langley directly. Multiple Langley parents then pointed out she was referring to Langley. Her experience is her experience. If you guys had just ignored the post, I doubt many people would have a clue the school was Langley. Maybe her posts are frustrating given the time that has elapsed, but you guys really are helping to fuel this by pointing out the school she's referring to, and now posting her name. I get your frustration, but I would say step back a little and don't engage in this back and forth. Maybe if she had named the school herself, I could see posting a different perspective.

Agree. I don't have any experience with Langley, so I don't know if any of this is true with regard to that school. It is true for other FCPS schools though, so it's worth discussing. And again, she didn't say anything about Langley. I don't even know how you recognized it was her, to be honest.

Probably because her posts are virtually the same, word for word, and invariably speak to how her "straight A" daughter supposedly was pressured to take AP courses.

It is so narcissistic that it's hard to ignore, even when that probably would be the wiser course of action.

She took three her jr and sr year when it is appropriate and did really well. Thanks for playing. AP classes as a Freshman are just stupid

You're posting too much information about your kid on this forum. Also, if you're really trying to help other kids feeling the pressure, telling people to STFU isn't the best place to start. This interchange has somewhat derailed the thread.

Shhh, keep the real issues under wraps so no one is mean. Then wring your hand and pretend you want to fix things.

If you think being mean will fix this, by all means, go ahead.

Getting tough will help fix this. Sitting around doing nothing but feeling badly does not. Compassion has its place but does nothing to stop the next suicide. These kids need adults to continuously counteract the messages they are getting from the school system. Privates interfere with the indoctrination necessary to get kids to buy into this crap. If SOLs and other testing were so important to colleges, for instance, no kid in private school would be able to get into a VA school. Yet they are over-emphasized in publics. You should see the kids' faces when you explain the $$ side of SOLs.

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Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

Agree.

No tragedy fails to bring out Bullis Mom and her gripes against Langley, based on her daughter's one year there (which was five or six years ago). Sigh.

Stop. Just stop.

No. It's Bullis Mom who needs to stop trying to make everything about her. That act - which centers around spreading a narrative about Langley that no one else with kids there recognized - got tired years ago and has not aged well.

It's not about me, you moron. When I see yet another area child has taken his life, it breaks my heart in a million pieces. And if I can do something to help, I damn well will. SO STFU.

Oh, Linda. It is always, always, always about you. Do you really think that isn't clear to everyone by now?

Naming her was unnecessary. Also, the original post she wrote said nothing about Langley, she only said she had a bad experience with another FCPS school. No bad mouthing of Langley directly. Multiple Langley parents then pointed out she was referring to Langley. Her experience is her experience. If you guys had just ignored the post, I doubt many people would have a clue the school was Langley. Maybe her posts are frustrating given the time that has elapsed, but you guys really are helping to fuel this by pointing out the school she's referring to, and now posting her name. I get your frustration, but I would say step back a little and don't engage in this back and forth. Maybe if she had named the school herself, I could see posting a different perspective.

Agree. I don't have any experience with Langley, so I don't know if any of this is true with regard to that school. It is true for other FCPS schools though, so it's worth discussing. And again, she didn't say anything about Langley. I don't even know how you recognized it was her, to be honest.

Probably because her posts are virtually the same, word for word, and invariably speak to how her "straight A" daughter supposedly was pressured to take AP courses.

It is so narcissistic that it's hard to ignore, even when that probably would be the wiser course of action.

She took three her jr and sr year when it is appropriate and did really well. Thanks for playing. AP classes as a Freshman are just stupid

You're posting too much information about your kid on this forum. Also, if you're really trying to help other kids feeling the pressure, telling people to STFU isn't the best place to start. This interchange has somewhat derailed the thread.

Shhh, keep the real issues under wraps so no one is mean. Then wring your hand and pretend you want to fix things.

If you think being mean will fix this, by all means, go ahead.

Anonymous wrote:I wish that argument above would go away. We need to think about what we can do NOW not 6 years ago. It makes my heart hurt for this family.

Same problem

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Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

Agree.

No tragedy fails to bring out Bullis Mom and her gripes against Langley, based on her daughter's one year there (which was five or six years ago). Sigh.

Stop. Just stop.

No. It's Bullis Mom who needs to stop trying to make everything about her. That act - which centers around spreading a narrative about Langley that no one else with kids there recognized - got tired years ago and has not aged well.

It's not about me, you moron. When I see yet another area child has taken his life, it breaks my heart in a million pieces. And if I can do something to help, I damn well will. SO STFU.

Oh, Linda. It is always, always, always about you. Do you really think that isn't clear to everyone by now?

Naming her was unnecessary. Also, the original post she wrote said nothing about Langley, she only said she had a bad experience with another FCPS school. No bad mouthing of Langley directly. Multiple Langley parents then pointed out she was referring to Langley. Her experience is her experience. If you guys had just ignored the post, I doubt many people would have a clue the school was Langley. Maybe her posts are frustrating given the time that has elapsed, but you guys really are helping to fuel this by pointing out the school she's referring to, and now posting her name. I get your frustration, but I would say step back a little and don't engage in this back and forth. Maybe if she had named the school herself, I could see posting a different perspective.

Agree. I don't have any experience with Langley, so I don't know if any of this is true with regard to that school. It is true for other FCPS schools though, so it's worth discussing. And again, she didn't say anything about Langley. I don't even know how you recognized it was her, to be honest.

Probably because her posts are virtually the same, word for word, and invariably speak to how her "straight A" daughter supposedly was pressured to take AP courses.

It is so narcissistic that it's hard to ignore, even when that probably would be the wiser course of action.

She took three her jr and sr year when it is appropriate and did really well. Thanks for playing. AP classes as a Freshman are just stupid

You're posting too much information about your kid on this forum. Also, if you're really trying to help other kids feeling the pressure, telling people to STFU isn't the best place to start. This interchange has somewhat derailed the thread.

Shhh, keep the real issues under wraps so no one is mean. Then wring your hand and pretend you want to fix things.

I wish that argument above would go away. We need to think about what we can do NOW not 6 years ago. It makes my heart hurt for this family.

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Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

Agree.

No tragedy fails to bring out Bullis Mom and her gripes against Langley, based on her daughter's one year there (which was five or six years ago). Sigh.

Stop. Just stop.

No. It's Bullis Mom who needs to stop trying to make everything about her. That act - which centers around spreading a narrative about Langley that no one else with kids there recognized - got tired years ago and has not aged well.

It's not about me, you moron. When I see yet another area child has taken his life, it breaks my heart in a million pieces. And if I can do something to help, I damn well will. SO STFU.

Oh, Linda. It is always, always, always about you. Do you really think that isn't clear to everyone by now?

Naming her was unnecessary. Also, the original post she wrote said nothing about Langley, she only said she had a bad experience with another FCPS school. No bad mouthing of Langley directly. Multiple Langley parents then pointed out she was referring to Langley. Her experience is her experience. If you guys had just ignored the post, I doubt many people would have a clue the school was Langley. Maybe her posts are frustrating given the time that has elapsed, but you guys really are helping to fuel this by pointing out the school she's referring to, and now posting her name. I get your frustration, but I would say step back a little and don't engage in this back and forth. Maybe if she had named the school herself, I could see posting a different perspective.

Agree. I don't have any experience with Langley, so I don't know if any of this is true with regard to that school. It is true for other FCPS schools though, so it's worth discussing. And again, she didn't say anything about Langley. I don't even know how you recognized it was her, to be honest.

Probably because her posts are virtually the same, word for word, and invariably speak to how her "straight A" daughter supposedly was pressured to take AP courses.

It is so narcissistic that it's hard to ignore, even when that probably would be the wiser course of action.

She took three her jr and sr year when it is appropriate and did really well. Thanks for playing. AP classes as a Freshman are just stupid

You're posting too much information about your kid on this forum. Also, if you're really trying to help other kids feeling the pressure, telling people to STFU isn't the best place to start. This interchange has somewhat derailed the thread.

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Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

Agree.

No tragedy fails to bring out Bullis Mom and her gripes against Langley, based on her daughter's one year there (which was five or six years ago). Sigh.

Stop. Just stop.

No. It's Bullis Mom who needs to stop trying to make everything about her. That act - which centers around spreading a narrative about Langley that no one else with kids there recognized - got tired years ago and has not aged well.

It's not about me, you moron. When I see yet another area child has taken his life, it breaks my heart in a million pieces. And if I can do something to help, I damn well will. SO STFU.

Oh, Linda. It is always, always, always about you. Do you really think that isn't clear to everyone by now?

Naming her was unnecessary. Also, the original post she wrote said nothing about Langley, she only said she had a bad experience with another FCPS school. No bad mouthing of Langley directly. Multiple Langley parents then pointed out she was referring to Langley. Her experience is her experience. If you guys had just ignored the post, I doubt many people would have a clue the school was Langley. Maybe her posts are frustrating given the time that has elapsed, but you guys really are helping to fuel this by pointing out the school she's referring to, and now posting her name. I get your frustration, but I would say step back a little and don't engage in this back and forth. Maybe if she had named the school herself, I could see posting a different perspective.

Agree. I don't have any experience with Langley, so I don't know if any of this is true with regard to that school. It is true for other FCPS schools though, so it's worth discussing. And again, she didn't say anything about Langley. I don't even know how you recognized it was her, to be honest.

Probably because her posts are virtually the same, word for word, and invariably speak to how her "straight A" daughter supposedly was pressured to take AP courses.

It is so narcissistic that it's hard to ignore, even when that probably would be the wiser course of action.

Try to ignore it. This thread is about a child in such despair that he committed suicide. Some kids are more sensitive than others. Maybe we can join together to figure out a way to lessen the burden on those kids. The pressure it not unique to any FCPS school, it permeates them all to some degree.

Anonymous wrote:Whether it is one mom or not, I have seen many casualties from FCPS. It makes me sad. SOMETHING is not working right. Not everyone goes so far as this student but so many are suffering from anxiety and depression. It's not 100% the parents. It's much too widespread. And when you meet the parents they are not the caricatures of helicopters that you are describing. Most of them seem kind and concerned.

And at a loss for how to fix it. That's the sad part. They feel like they are hitting brick walls trying.

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Anonymous wrote:PLEASE! This is a serious issue. A child is dead. Can we make our schools better? What can we do to prevent this?

Has FC brought in mental health professionals to interview families and students?

What exactly are the mental health professionals recommending?

They bring them in to 'help with stress reduction'. When I suggested that the school could simply reduce stress, the administrators just looked at me with blank stares. The mental health professionals, on the other hand, could not agree more. They are simply doing their best to counteract the daily damage being done.

Anonymous wrote:PLEASE! This is a serious issue. A child is dead. Can we make our schools better? What can we do to prevent this?

The culture needs to change. More focus needs to be put on the whole child, rather than test scores. We need to convince these kids that an Ivy League education isn't 'all that', and often times, it's inferior to other schools because so much time and energy is wasted on contemplating one's navel. There are SO many great colleges out there that focus on the whole child. So SO SO many.

Anonymous wrote:I have been reading this post and wanted to express my condolences to the young person's family. Simply no words to express what a tragedy this is. A few people have asked what we could do to stop this from happening again. I found this article to be eye opening and plan to share it with my own children when they are old enough.
https://medium.com/@jezhou/on-growing-up-in-the-bay-area-and-its-rippling-effects-b3273b9e2534[/url]

This is a fantastic, illustrative article about how toxic the public school environment has become in some areas, the DC area included. Those who want to always blame it on the parents should see that this boy's mother acted quite the opposite of how he anticipated she'd react, and how the administrators say parents react. She did a beautiful job. The culture, in this case, definitely came from the school system, who, like the DC area, encourage the competitiveness.

Now I have nothing against challenge. I do have a problem with kids working their collective a$$es to try and beat a rigged system, then placing the blame on the kids when they don't meet these ridiculous hurdles. School systems know they can do a LOT to change the culture. They don't want to. Those that love to call others narcissistic don't even consider how narcissistic it is for school teachers and administrators to place such burdens on teenagers for their own benefit. A teacher knows when they assign too much homework. Some choose to do it anyway. Perhaps they 'get off' on being 'that' teacher. Perhaps they feel it elevates their class to the 'most important'. Administrators want that prestige that comes with a high ranking.

The net result is that some kids feel their only way out of what they see as hell is suicide. It's tragic on so many levels. It's fixable too. It's really too bad that high-pressure school systems seem to see these kids as expendable.

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Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

Agree.

No tragedy fails to bring out Bullis Mom and her gripes against Langley, based on her daughter's one year there (which was five or six years ago). Sigh.

Stop. Just stop.

No. It's Bullis Mom who needs to stop trying to make everything about her. That act - which centers around spreading a narrative about Langley that no one else with kids there recognized - got tired years ago and has not aged well.

It's not about me, you moron. When I see yet another area child has taken his life, it breaks my heart in a million pieces. And if I can do something to help, I damn well will. SO STFU.

Oh, Linda. It is always, always, always about you. Do you really think that isn't clear to everyone by now?

Naming her was unnecessary. Also, the original post she wrote said nothing about Langley, she only said she had a bad experience with another FCPS school. No bad mouthing of Langley directly. Multiple Langley parents then pointed out she was referring to Langley. Her experience is her experience. If you guys had just ignored the post, I doubt many people would have a clue the school was Langley. Maybe her posts are frustrating given the time that has elapsed, but you guys really are helping to fuel this by pointing out the school she's referring to, and now posting her name. I get your frustration, but I would say step back a little and don't engage in this back and forth. Maybe if she had named the school herself, I could see posting a different perspective.

Agree. I don't have any experience with Langley, so I don't know if any of this is true with regard to that school. It is true for other FCPS schools though, so it's worth discussing. And again, she didn't say anything about Langley. I don't even know how you recognized it was her, to be honest.

Probably because her posts are virtually the same, word for word, and invariably speak to how her "straight A" daughter supposedly was pressured to take AP courses.

It is so narcissistic that it's hard to ignore, even when that probably would be the wiser course of action.

She took three her jr and sr year when it is appropriate and did really well. Thanks for playing. AP classes as a Freshman are just stupid