Anonymous wrote:Excessive amounts of pet hair on the floor, unless you have a big fluffy dog.

I have one friend whose floor always has a layer of black dog fur matted down over her tan carpet. She insists on shoes coming off, too, which bugs the crap out of me because then I get my socks or bare feet coated in dog fur. Then I either have to use my hand to brush off the hair before putting my shoes back on or shoving all the collected dog hair in my shoes. Ick.

My SIL has three huskies, vacuums every single day plus has an iRobot that runs during the day, and will still have little fur tumbleweeds rolling about when they're blowing their coats.

Other than that, I notice very little. Smells? Meh. People cook different foods than me and like different smelly good items than I do. Dirty bathrooms? I know how hard it is to keep those clean with little kids. Dirty toilet? I lived in a house once that had two toilets that constantly had stains from the water. Bugged the crap out of me because they always looked dirty! Clutter? Most people have that one spot that catches all clutter and doesn't get cleaned until you can't add another item without other items falling off.

Anonymous wrote:I understand that people are very busy and also that people may lack time and energy to clean their homes. The trick really is to have less possessions, give away things to salvation army and last but not the least clean as you go.

Keep house pets only if you can be fastidiously clean. It is always turns into a disaster otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:Obviously, tons of dust, sticky counters, dirty sinks, any left over food is really gross, but the grossest thing to me are the homeowners who have pets and don't even realize how foul their house smells. I'm sure they also have tons of animal hair everywhere, but one of my husband's co-worker's home smells so awful that I couldn't even get in the front door. Fortunately, this was a summer block party, so staying outside was perfectly acceptable. But the stench.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the people who are complaining about cluttered houses the same people wondering why people don't reciprocate play dates and other invites?

My partner is much messier than I am. I could live my life cleaning up after him (tried that, horrendous, made me resentful), not cleaning up after him and hoping that he will have an epiphany and start picking things up (also horrible, epiphany never came), or asking for help on certain things and picking my battles, and letting some things go. The third one of what worked best, particularly as we both have very busy work schedules. For a while that nrant we never invited anyone over, because I was ashamed of the clutter. But that wasn't fun. Now we invite people over and, you know what, it's not the end of the world that there's clutter. We have a biweekly cleaner and cover the basics ourselves daily, do it's clean enough, but it's never going to look like a show home.

Anyway, this thread was helpful for thinking about what areas to prioritize, but I do want people to know that I've been able to keep my friends without being perfect; in fact my friendships have probably improved because my friends and I let each other in on our daily lives for a last minute coffee or glass of wine, and not just after the marathon cleaning session. And the more I've been doing that, the more I'm realizing that not everyone else keeps a perfect home either, and that's okay.

+1

And I think many people are relieved, because it gives the home a kind of comfy feel. When you're relaxed and admit, "yeah, it's kind of cluttered" then it ends the weird, kind of hyper competitive vibe that some (new) friendships can sometimes have.

I am in my 20s but I have found that many men I have dated also seem to appreciate it. I think it shows to them that you're chill, or something.

I dont think a cluttered and dirty home is relaxing. If it were so comfortable then hotels and such would be cluttered and dirty. Personally i dont care if someone elses home is dirty and cluttered. It's just not the way i like to live. It is pretty easy to keep a clean house. First, you simply picknup after yourself, and second, don't mindlessly shop, if you don't fall into the copious consumption trap, you wont have clutter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't fully relax until the room I am in is picked up. Not clean-clean, not perfect-baseboards-and-fully-vaccummed, but clutter-free. So DH and I clean the kitchen together every night, my 3-yo helps me pick up toys in the living room, and I make sure my bedroom and the kids' rooms are picked up daily. It doesn't take a lot of effort, because we never get too messy.

There is a difference between picked-up, and clean.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the people who are complaining about cluttered houses the same people wondering why people don't reciprocate play dates and other invites?

My partner is much messier than I am. I could live my life cleaning up after him (tried that, horrendous, made me resentful), not cleaning up after him and hoping that he will have an epiphany and start picking things up (also horrible, epiphany never came), or asking for help on certain things and picking my battles, and letting some things go. The third one of what worked best, particularly as we both have very busy work schedules. For a while that nrant we never invited anyone over, because I was ashamed of the clutter. But that wasn't fun. Now we invite people over and, you know what, it's not the end of the world that there's clutter. We have a biweekly cleaner and cover the basics ourselves daily, do it's clean enough, but it's never going to look like a show home.

Anyway, this thread was helpful for thinking about what areas to prioritize, but I do want people to know that I've been able to keep my friends without being perfect; in fact my friendships have probably improved because my friends and I let each other in on our daily lives for a last minute coffee or glass of wine, and not just after the marathon cleaning session. And the more I've been doing that, the more I'm realizing that not everyone else keeps a perfect home either, and that's okay.

+1

And I think many people are relieved, because it gives the home a kind of comfy feel. When you're relaxed and admit, "yeah, it's kind of cluttered" then it ends the weird, kind of hyper competitive vibe that some (new) friendships can sometimes have.

I am in my 20s but I have found that many men I have dated also seem to appreciate it. I think it shows to them that you're chill, or something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the above, that "non-obvious dirt" is fine, but clutter everywhere is very noticable. I know many people who moved in YEARS ago and still have entire rooms that are unpacked/not organized. "Guest rooms" where they just keep STUFF.

Here's a hint...if you have boxes and boxes of items you haven't unpacked in years, you don't need that stuff. Throw it away or donate.

1/2 of our guest room is like that. I wish we had the time to go through it. But we tend to prioritize fun weekend activities and vacations over staying home to sort through old stuff. Maybe we will pick a long weekend this year.

well just know that your guests think you are lazy and dirty, lol

My guest room is set up very nicely for guests when they are here and I don't go into the room when a guest is using it. But when we don't have anyone staying in that room it is our gift wrap room, the place where I put items that I intend to sell or donate. A place where I might keep a craft project that I'm working on.

There is no need to keep it museum like all year round. It does clean up nicely though when we need it to.

Disagree. Pull your shit together woman!