Anonymous wrote:Some of the lines that, if my daughter used them on a guy and he was pressuring her to stay, I'd say cross the line:

"Say What's in this drink, I wish I knew how, to break this spell"

"I simply must go, the answer is no"

Seems like she is saying no.

Whatever -- it's just a song, but no question it's about a guy pressuring a woman to stay for sex and she's trying to say no.

Why does she not leave? Let's face it, its really about what you bring to the song. If you think the guy is being playful and flirty and the woman is responding in kind, it's fun. If you think all man are animals, there is a rape culture, sex is bad, the woman is drunk and can't leave, the guy is undesirable, etc, etc ....well the song is bad. The interpretation of the song says more about the person vs the song.

Some of the lines that, if my daughter used them on a guy and he was pressuring her to stay, I'd say cross the line:

"Say What's in this drink, I wish I knew how, to break this spell"

"I simply must go, the answer is no"

Seems like she is saying no.

Whatever -- it's just a song, but no question it's about a guy pressuring a woman to stay for sex and she's trying to say no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may have been brought up already, but every reason she gives for needing to leave is external (i.e., what others will think or say)-- not saying she herself doesn't want to stay. She clearly wants to stay. She's playing coy. It has nothing to do with rape or even consent.

Yep.

And the husband and wife who wrote the song also performed it in reverse, with her as the aggeessor and the guy as the prey.

The movie was set up this way.

Glad to see that dcum feminists are just as uotight about flirtatious songs as some of those ultra conservative ministers.

You all should should use this as a jumping off point for creating unity between dcum and their most hated entities.

Dcum feminist here who actually loves the song. ~shrug~

I do thinks it's pretty interesting that so many think it speaks of a woman not owning it during a time when there was a terrible double standard and women had to play coy, and that it portrays a man attempting to "rape" a woman...when it actually was written during that same time to depict a woman overtly pressuring a man for sex. IOW, thoroughly owning it.

Or rather overtly pressuring him to stay. Maybe she just wants to bake cookies with him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may have been brought up already, but every reason she gives for needing to leave is external (i.e., what others will think or say)-- not saying she herself doesn't want to stay. She clearly wants to stay. She's playing coy. It has nothing to do with rape or even consent.

Yep.

And the husband and wife who wrote the song also performed it in reverse, with her as the aggeessor and the guy as the prey.

The movie was set up this way.

Glad to see that dcum feminists are just as uotight about flirtatious songs as some of those ultra conservative ministers.

You all should should use this as a jumping off point for creating unity between dcum and their most hated entities.

Dcum feminist here who actually loves the song. ~shrug~

I do thinks it's pretty interesting that so many think it speaks of a woman not owning it during a time when there was a terrible double standard and women had to play coy, and that it portrays a man attempting to "rape" a woman...when it actually was written during that same time to depict a woman overtly pressuring a man for sex. IOW, thoroughly owning it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may have been brought up already, but every reason she gives for needing to leave is external (i.e., what others will think or say)-- not saying she herself doesn't want to stay. She clearly wants to stay. She's playing coy. It has nothing to do with rape or even consent.

Yep.

And the husband and wife who wrote the song also performed it in reverse, with her as the aggeessor and the guy as the prey.

The movie was set up this way.

Glad to see that dcum feminists are just as uotight about flirtatious songs as some of those ultra conservative ministers.

You all should should use this as a jumping off point for creating unity between dcum and their most hated entities.

You are so right.

Anonymous wrote:This may have been brought up already, but every reason she gives for needing to leave is external (i.e., what others will think or say)-- not saying she herself doesn't want to stay. She clearly wants to stay. She's playing coy. It has nothing to do with rape or even consent.

Yep.

And the husband and wife who wrote the song also performed it in reverse, with her as the aggeessor and the guy as the prey.

The movie was set up this way.

Glad to see that dcum feminists are just as uotight about flirtatious songs as some of those ultra conservative ministers.

You all should should use this as a jumping off point for creating unity between dcum and their most hated entities.

This may have been brought up already, but every reason she gives for needing to leave is external (i.e., what others will think or say)-- not saying she herself doesn't want to stay. She clearly wants to stay. She's playing coy. It has nothing to do with rape or even consent.

I don't like the song, because it's a relic of a time when women could not admit to having sexual desires, and had to play these dumb games so that a guy wouldn't think they were easy. Also, the guy seems not to give a crap about the woman's reputation, when of course he will suffer no consequences himself.



(I really can't stay) But, baby, it's cold outside
(I've got to go away) But, baby, it's cold outside
(This evening has been) Been hoping that you'd drop in
(So very nice) I'll hold your hands they're just like ice

(My mother will start to worry) Beautiful, what's your hurry
(My father will be pacing the floor) Listen to the fireplace roar
(So really I'd better scurry) Beautiful, please don't hurry
(Well, maybe just half a drink more) Put some records on while I pour

(The neighbors might think) Baby, it's bad out there
(Say what's in this drink) No cabs to be had out there
(I wish I knew how) Your eyes are like starlight now
(To break this spell) I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell

(I ought to say no, no, no, sir) Mind if I move in closer
(At least I'm gonna say that I tried) What's the sense of hurting my pride
(I really can't stay) Baby, don't hold doubt
[Both] Baby, it's cold outside

(I simply must go) Baby, it's cold outside
(The answer is no) Baby, it's cold outside
(The welcome has been) How lucky that you dropped in
(So nice and warm) Look out the window at the storm

(My sister will be suspicious) Gosh your lips look delicious
(My brother will be there at the door) Waves upon a tropical shore
(My maiden aunt's mind is vicious) Gosh your lips are delicious
(But maybe just a cigarette more) Never such a blizzard before

(I got to get home) But, baby, you'd freeze out there
(Say lend me a coat) It's up to your knees out there
(You've really been grand) I thrill when you touch my hand
(But don't you see) How can you do this thing to me

(There's bound to be talk tomorrow) Think of my life long sorrow
(At least there will be plenty implied) If you caught pneumonia and died
(I really can't stay) Get over that old doubt
[Both] Baby, it's cold
[Both] Baby, it's cold outside

Anonymous wrote:I've answered that before - - I'm wise and all knowing

Don't play games, ladies. Want it. Own it. Enjoy it.

No matter how much someone (male or female) wants it, owns it, and enjoys it, there are plenty of times when/reasons why having sex might be questionable (I'm involved with someone else; he/she is involved with someone else; I care more about this person than he/she does about me and I don't want to get my feelings hurt; this person cares more about me than I do about him/her and I don't want to encourage them; my roommate will be home any minute; nobody has a condom; this person has a history that makes me unsure whether I should proceed; etc etc etc). Someone can want it, own it, and enjoy it, and still be on the fence about it in certain circumstances.

Ick. Never paid attention much to the lyrics. I find them sad.

I've answered that before - - I'm wise and all knowing

Don't play games, ladies. Want it. Own it. Enjoy it.

Anonymous wrote:

Sometimes my husband suggests sex and I say, half heartedly, oh but there's dishes to do, and he pushes and I say, oh I have to start a load of laundry, then he pushes some more and I laugh and run up the stairs with him

Playing games may work short-term, but I'm glad I don't have your marriage

Can you please say how long you have been married?

because someone at Salon says it is, and therefor according to other media outlets it's the truth

"Say, what's in this drink?"

ASK BILL COSBY.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh stop. In a real rape situation, for instance, a man would use the threat of violence (through intimidation of some sort). Pleading with someone not to leave is not the same as violence or intimidation. In this song if the woman wasn't kidding around she could clearly walk out the door.
I'd love to hear how a rape can happen without violence or threatening. If the woman feels threatened, there's obviously some threat. I do agree the threat does not have to be "guy holding knife to throat", in my case my rapist stood at his dorm room door making it quite clear I wasn't leaving, and when I said "no", he intimidated me with very powerful obvious threatening. Not "oh but it's so cold outside". Gimme a break.

if a woman decides after the fact that she felt threatened, I have a real issue with categorizing that as rape.

And As i said, I've not only experienced this but also have 3 daughters. Perhaps we think differently but it does not make me an "idiot" or immature.
Learn how to have a debate maybe and consider other viewpoints. That's maturity.

We get it. Any rape that isn't as rapey as yours isn't rape at all. Sorry for the guy for doing with with a bitch, and sorry for your daughters for being stuck with you as a role model.

+1