Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why aren't parents the best judge (in public school) when it comes to accelerating children in that same, very specific, very limited circumstance? If they can choose to hold out a year, why not allow them to accelerate a year? What makes parents the best judge at delay but not the best judge at acceleration?

Take it up with your state board of education -- or the board of trustees of your private school, if you're in private school.

Huh. So you think it makes perfect sense for parents to be the best judge for retaining, but not accelerating.

And parents who think parents are the best judge for accelerating should take it up with the authorities. Yet people here get all angst ridden when parents vent about a growing trend of other parents retaining, often for no specific reason.

Interesting.

You're the one who wants a change from the status quo. So you're the one who should push for the change from the status quo.

My children are in grades appropriate for them, so I'm not particularly worried about it. I do find this discrepancy fascinating though.
You seem somewhat hostile about it. That's interesting too.

Anonymous wrote:

You must have little kids.

It is a HUGE difference in maturity in middle school and high school.

Eleven years old = just starting to get crushes. 13-14 years old = very interested in sex/sexually active in many cases.

11 years old = some kids still wanting to do kid things. 13-14 year olds = experimenting with alcohol and possibly drugs.

Long term it is a very poor decision.

I have a 13-year-old and a 9-year-old, and I am not going to get upset about an 18-month range vs. 12-month range.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why aren't parents the best judge (in public school) when it comes to accelerating children in that same, very specific, very limited circumstance? If they can choose to hold out a year, why not allow them to accelerate a year? What makes parents the best judge at delay but not the best judge at acceleration?

Take it up with your state board of education -- or the board of trustees of your private school, if you're in private school.

Huh. So you think it makes perfect sense for parents to be the best judge for retaining, but not accelerating.

And parents who think parents are the best judge for accelerating should take it up with the authorities. Yet people here get all angst ridden when parents vent about a growing trend of other parents retaining, often for no specific reason.

Interesting.

You're the one who wants a change from the status quo. So you're the one who should push for the change from the status quo.

The parents might regret it when they have to try to parent an 18 year old HS junior.

Anonymous wrote:My son spent an extra year in preschool and has been the star of the class for two years in a row. We don't push him. He is mature and he handles himself well. Furthermore, he's not much bigger than the kids who are younger.

It wasn't a mistake. It was actually a way to ensure he would do well.

We had our reasons to start him a year later.

Then that makes no sense if he is mature and the star for two years in a row.

My son spent an extra year in preschool and has been the star of the class for two years in a row. We don't push him. He is mature and he handles himself well. Furthermore, he's not much bigger than the kids who are younger.

It wasn't a mistake. It was actually a way to ensure he would do well.

We had our reasons to start him a year later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There should definitely be a range by a couple of months. I think most people are just annoyed that the difference in ages can be up to two years.

There will be a range of 12 months under any circumstance, unless you want to have half grades. Maybe you can muster up the energy to be indignant about a range of 16 months instead of 12; I can't.

12-14 months is reasonable. 16-24 months is not. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the oldest.

but who is saying anything about 24 months? The most that I have heard of in real life is 14 months.

One of the two older kids is 17 months older than the rest.

Panic! An occasional kid is 17 months older than the youngest kid! Panic!

Actually I'm not panicking, and I actually have a kid who may well be 17 months younger than the oldest kid in the class.

No panic here, but my kid is one of three September birthdays. The problem is the younger ones who are all on target and doing very well are compared to the older ones who are slightly ahead, but only because of that year difference. (actually I think the younger ones have pretty much caught up now) The grading system should be grade appropriate and kids should not be compared to each other. Sadly, two of us are leaving the school partly because of the behaviors of the older kids.

What behaviors? Can you give examples? And are they leaving from public or private? And where are they going; I mean are they taking a year off?
Yes, I agree with you on the grading. It should be strictly individual, not comparing the children within one class. Why is that the way it is anyways??

A few kids left last year and a few of us are leaving the school year. (It is a private school) They are the favored kids. More hitting/pushing, talking back, poor language - words that never should be said at school, just making really mean comments to some of the other kids. I fully expect it but when you have a small class size and those kids are dominating the class and setting the tone, socially its a problem. I am to the point where I told my kit to hit them back if he gets hit and I'll deal with the principal.

All the kids get 100% on their spelling tests. Those two kids get great report cards and the rest of ours are barely passing. Ours barely got credit for doing great on their spelling tests and never get acknowledged for doing homework. If all the kids are getting 100% on their spelling tests, grades should be equal. Their overall spelling is a little better but that is because they are over a year older. But, all our kids are on target grade wise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There should definitely be a range by a couple of months. I think most people are just annoyed that the difference in ages can be up to two years.

There will be a range of 12 months under any circumstance, unless you want to have half grades. Maybe you can muster up the energy to be indignant about a range of 16 months instead of 12; I can't.

12-14 months is reasonable. 16-24 months is not. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the oldest.

but who is saying anything about 24 months? The most that I have heard of in real life is 14 months.

One of the two older kids is 17 months older than the rest.

Panic! An occasional kid is 17 months older than the youngest kid! Panic!

Actually I'm not panicking, and I actually have a kid who may well be 17 months younger than the oldest kid in the class.

No panic here, but my kid is one of three September birthdays. The problem is the younger ones who are all on target and doing very well are compared to the older ones who are slightly ahead, but only because of that year difference. (actually I think the younger ones have pretty much caught up now) The grading system should be grade appropriate and kids should not be compared to each other. Sadly, two of us are leaving the school partly because of the behaviors of the older kids.

What behaviors? Can you give examples? And are they leaving from public or private? And where are they going; I mean are they taking a year off?
Yes, I agree with you on the grading. It should be strictly individual, not comparing the children within one class. Why is that the way it is anyways??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think there are some circumstances under which it is appropriate to hold a kid back or redshirt, even absent any special needs. My son is 6 and in 1st grade. One of his friends from his class is 8. Honestly, my son (who is NOT mature by any stretch) gets frustrated with his friend all of the time for acting immature, and he is right. I can't imagine how his friend would survive socially if he were in 2nd or 3rd grade.

If this kid stays immature all through his school life, then maybe it was the right decision. But, what happens if he comes into his maturity when he hits his teens, and he's in class with a bunch of 11 yr olds?

Sure, you want to make the best decision with the information you have now, but what's worse - to be immature in ES or be too mature in MS/HS compared to your peers?

There's still not that much difference between a barely 13yo and a 11.5yo, on average. You do realize that people are talking about a 15-18 month age difference, right?

You must have little kids.

It is a HUGE difference in maturity in middle school and high school.

Eleven years old = just starting to get crushes. 13-14 years old = very interested in sex/sexually active in many cases.

11 years old = some kids still wanting to do kid things. 13-14 year olds = experimenting with alcohol and possibly drugs.

Long term it is a very poor decision.

Maturity isn't just about age as preteens and teens. At 13-14, its important to be involved in your kids lives and watch for things like sexual activity and drugs. Having kids start a year later is not the answer, educating your kids on the world and preparing them for life is far more valuable. Holding a kid back is no guarantee that they will fare better in these issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think there are some circumstances under which it is appropriate to hold a kid back or redshirt, even absent any special needs. My son is 6 and in 1st grade. One of his friends from his class is 8. Honestly, my son (who is NOT mature by any stretch) gets frustrated with his friend all of the time for acting immature, and he is right. I can't imagine how his friend would survive socially if he were in 2nd or 3rd grade.

If this kid stays immature all through his school life, then maybe it was the right decision. But, what happens if he comes into his maturity when he hits his teens, and he's in class with a bunch of 11 yr olds?

Sure, you want to make the best decision with the information you have now, but what's worse - to be immature in ES or be too mature in MS/HS compared to your peers?

There's still not that much difference between a barely 13yo and a 11.5yo, on average. You do realize that people are talking about a 15-18 month age difference, right?

You must have little kids.

It is a HUGE difference in maturity in middle school and high school.

Eleven years old = just starting to get crushes. 13-14 years old = very interested in sex/sexually active in many cases.

11 years old = some kids still wanting to do kid things. 13-14 year olds = experimenting with alcohol and possibly drugs.

Long term it is a very poor decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why aren't parents the best judge (in public school) when it comes to accelerating children in that same, very specific, very limited circumstance? If they can choose to hold out a year, why not allow them to accelerate a year? What makes parents the best judge at delay but not the best judge at acceleration?

Take it up with your state board of education -- or the board of trustees of your private school, if you're in private school.

Huh. So you think it makes perfect sense for parents to be the best judge for retaining, but not accelerating.

And parents who think parents are the best judge for accelerating should take it up with the authorities. Yet people here get all angst ridden when parents vent about a growing trend of other parents retaining, often for no specific reason.

Interesting.

Anonymous wrote:My DS is in K and is almost 7. His SN are not apparent to most people. They are also none of your business.

Lots of kids have SN.. .. mine does. I'm sure most of the parents know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There should definitely be a range by a couple of months. I think most people are just annoyed that the difference in ages can be up to two years.

There will be a range of 12 months under any circumstance, unless you want to have half grades. Maybe you can muster up the energy to be indignant about a range of 16 months instead of 12; I can't.

12-14 months is reasonable. 16-24 months is not. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the oldest.

but who is saying anything about 24 months? The most that I have heard of in real life is 14 months.

One of the two older kids is 17 months older than the rest.

Panic! An occasional kid is 17 months older than the youngest kid! Panic!

Actually I'm not panicking, and I actually have a kid who may well be 17 months younger than the oldest kid in the class.

No panic here, but my kid is one of three September birthdays. The problem is the younger ones who are all on target and doing very well are compared to the older ones who are slightly ahead, but only because of that year difference. (actually I think the younger ones have pretty much caught up now) The grading system should be grade appropriate and kids should not be compared to each other. Sadly, two of us are leaving the school partly because of the behaviors of the older kids.

Anonymous wrote:Shit. My son is taller than most of the kids in his current class and has a September birthday, so he misses the cutoff for Kindergarten where we live. Should I anticipate that people will talk about him like this when he starts school?

Unfortunately, yes. People like OP and some of the other PPs gossip about children in their kids' classes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There should definitely be a range by a couple of months. I think most people are just annoyed that the difference in ages can be up to two years.

There will be a range of 12 months under any circumstance, unless you want to have half grades. Maybe you can muster up the energy to be indignant about a range of 16 months instead of 12; I can't.

12-14 months is reasonable. 16-24 months is not. Someone has to be the youngest, someone has to be the oldest.

but who is saying anything about 24 months? The most that I have heard of in real life is 14 months.

One of the two older kids is 17 months older than the rest.

Panic! An occasional kid is 17 months older than the youngest kid! Panic!

Actually I'm not panicking, and I actually have a kid who may well be 17 months younger than the oldest kid in the class.