Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:49     Subject: This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Does your dh have a disorder like adhd or dyslexia?


I don't know. That is a good question. Anything is possible I suppose. B/c, honestly, when things like this happen to us in our lives, and they do seem to happen with more regularity than I would have thought possible, I am often left wondering, "HOW could this HAPPEN?" I just don't get it.

And as I said, he is competent at work, so??? (?) I just don't know. . .


Probably unhappy at home. People tend to put in less effort and work into something they do not necessarily care about. Do you think you could convince him to see a therapist with you?


Yes, he devalues anything on the home front, anything that is not work. He puts minimal effort in therefore, and now things like this happen. And then he blows up at me and thinks I am badgering him over pesky little details which are below him.


Root of the real problem is right here folks.

OP, please make a couples counseling appointment and get both of your good selves in there.
You two are in a bad death spiral and you need to unwind it all and get re-motivated at your marriage, family, teamwork and togetherness.
Resentment is on both sides, a good counselor will get to the root of the problem so there is no anger on either side and both people want to put in the effort.

You will know where things stand after the sessions. And most counselors see right through gaslighting, so if he think the problem is his angry disappointed wifey, he will have to address his repeated role in why you are angry.


Root of the problem is DW is batshit crazy and hyper critical. Poor man and poor daughter being raised with this example. She's being sentenced to a lifetime of the same crazy critical attitude towards others which will be hard.
Good luck with your divorce. I hope DH gets plenty of custody.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:44     Subject: This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Anyone who has done scout sales would understand that scouts don't order a little of this and a little of that and then hope it matches what people pre-ordered. The number of boxes received should exactly equal the number of boxes on the sheet. And the scout parent has to deliver the money before taking possession of any cookies. It's a grid, with name on each row and the exact type of cookies each person ordered (and paid for). How could anybody screw this up? I would be livid, knowing that neighbors paid for cookies that my DH was sitting there eating.


Actually, having just done scout sales, if you have preorders for 7 boxes of thin mints, you need to order a case (so 12 boxes). So it's totally possible for "left overs" - this is why people sell them at cookie booths

The "left overs" that you paid for (when you put down the deposit for the cookies) your daughter should work with the troop to sell at the cookie booth.

As for the way OP talks about her husband. Yikes.


Op says that she picked up the exact order based on the orders on her daughter's sheet. She didn't pick up extra cookies, she had the exact number of boxes to deliver.

Any extra boxes would have gone to the sidewalk sale that the troop does.


Cookie momster here. For us, in the Nation's Capital region of the GS, The TROOP does get extra cookies because we can only order full cases of cookies. Each case has 12 boxes of cookies in it. If a troop odered a total of 11 boxes of thin mints they would get a case of thin mints, so would have one box left over. Which somebody has to pay for (yes, the booth sales, or neighbors, etc. etc.). But that is troop based. No troop will end up with more than 11 extra boxes of each cookie flavor.

But each GIRL gets exactly what she ordered.

Perhaps dad ordered his own leftovers.


For the last time, dad did not do the ordering. Mom did.


So YOU (mom) didn't keep track of who ordered? You said that dad didn't keep track of who ordered.... why didn't you give him a list of who ordered? What the big deal anyway? Just look at your list of who ordered and see who got their stuff?

By the way... you sound horrible


You aren't really following along. Op's dh took their daughter out and got orders/payment from their neighbors. Op took the order sheet and payment to the Cookie Mom. The Cookie Mom gave Op the exact number of boxes ordered on the sheet. Op and the Cookie Mom verified the number of boxes. Op brought the boxes home and her dh/daughter went out to deliver them to the people on their order sheet. They returned after doing "all" of their deliveries but still had boxes leftover. If they had delivered to everyone on the sheet, there should not be extra boxes.

I don't know how Op is now supposed to know who got what. Op is not the one who did the delivery. Nor is the Op the one who took the orders and the payments for those orders.

It is possible that Op's husband fudged some of the order info for some reason and wrote down bogus names/addresses and paid for the bogus orders himself. If that's the case, I guess those cookies are his to keep but he should explain that to Op.



No we're all following along. She sounds horrible and her terrible marriage is because of her hyper critical attitude toward her husband.
We're talking $20-$40 of Girl Scout cookies here - no reason to lambast the husband. Fix it and be nice about it.

I ask this a lot - but is this post from a trailer park?
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:43     Subject: Re:This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Anonymous wrote:why can't OP's DH just get a copy of the order sheet and use that for delivery? Or does it not have the names/addresses, just the numbers ordered? what I'm asking is whether there's any written record of the orders?

fwiw, my husband would be the type to mess this up too, and I would probably get annoyed. But I would hardly equate that with a horrible marriage.

If you've ever seen a girl scout cookie order form, you'll know that he does have a copy of the order sheet and should have used it for delivery, but obviously screwed it up anyway. Yes, a grown adult had an exact list of what to deliver to each address and came home with lots of "leftovers". That is why OP is mad. I'd be burning red hot, too.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:32     Subject: Re:This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Some of you need a reading comprehension course. This is a pattern with her dh, it's one more among many on top of the mountain.

We had 2 friends like this, both married each other and it was one mess after another. Good happy hour stories because we couldn't believe how they would never learned. You could help till you were blue in the face, BUT they never got it.

Her husband doesn't have common sense or something.

Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:29     Subject: This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Anonymous wrote:Too funny, it sounds like your husband "can't wait for the leftovers..." Maybe he does know what he is doing...maybe he ordered more thinking he would get to eat some cookies this time around if he helped your daughter, lol!

Don't help him, don't do anything. If he has the money to pay for the "leftover" cookies then don't worry about it. If any families come up short and realize it (maybe not? maybe he did deliver all of them...) let him handle it.

You sound very controlling OP. Not everybody cares this much about a few boxes of cookies.



What do you mean by if He has the money? It is the family's money.

And most people who order from strangers are too polite to say anything later. They just won't order again from you. Life is too short to be always moving backwards.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:27     Subject: This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Does your dh have a disorder like adhd or dyslexia?


I don't know. That is a good question. Anything is possible I suppose. B/c, honestly, when things like this happen to us in our lives, and they do seem to happen with more regularity than I would have thought possible, I am often left wondering, "HOW could this HAPPEN?" I just don't get it.

And as I said, he is competent at work, so??? (?) I just don't know. . .


Probably unhappy at home. People tend to put in less effort and work into something they do not necessarily care about. Do you think you could convince him to see a therapist with you?


Yes, he devalues anything on the home front, anything that is not work. He puts minimal effort in therefore, and now things like this happen. And then he blows up at me and thinks I am badgering him over pesky little details which are below him.


Root of the real problem is right here folks.

OP, please make a couples counseling appointment and get both of your good selves in there.
You two are in a bad death spiral and you need to unwind it all and get re-motivated at your marriage, family, teamwork and togetherness.
Resentment is on both sides, a good counselor will get to the root of the problem so there is no anger on either side and both people want to put in the effort.

You will know where things stand after the sessions. And most counselors see right through gaslighting, so if he think the problem is his angry disappointed wifey, he will have to address his repeated role in why you are angry.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:26     Subject: Re:This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
The better question is why has nobody emailed to be like "Brian I'm short two boxes of Tagalongs"?


OMG, because nobody cares about this except you. Not even the people who brought the cookies.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:25     Subject: This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Anonymous wrote:Too funny, it sounds like your husband "can't wait for the leftovers..." Maybe he does know what he is doing...maybe he ordered more thinking he would get to eat some cookies this time around if he helped your daughter, lol!

Don't help him, don't do anything. If he has the money to pay for the "leftover" cookies then don't worry about it. If any families come up short and realize it (maybe not? maybe he did deliver all of them...) let him handle it.

You sound very controlling OP. Not everybody cares this much about a few boxes of cookies.



2X
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:22     Subject: This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Too funny, it sounds like your husband "can't wait for the leftovers..." Maybe he does know what he is doing...maybe he ordered more thinking he would get to eat some cookies this time around if he helped your daughter, lol!

Don't help him, don't do anything. If he has the money to pay for the "leftover" cookies then don't worry about it. If any families come up short and realize it (maybe not? maybe he did deliver all of them...) let him handle it.

You sound very controlling OP. Not everybody cares this much about a few boxes of cookies.

Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:20     Subject: This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow. You don't exactly sound like a nice person yourself. I mean, from the first sentence I could tell you were one of "those" women.

Do you also nag and micromanage? Are you big on telling him not only what to do but how to do it?


I did not tell him a thing how to do this GS cookie situation. He totally ran with it.

Here we are.


Yep, that's life. My spouse is the same way. You'd think he'd learn a lesson by now and pay more attention to things, but no. Not with home or family or property stuff. He has a lame excuse for everything and never talks about his mistakes. ANd thus never prevents them from happening again.

Meanwhile, he continues to have no organizational system for anything (wallet, keys, taxes, paperwork) and half the time he does anything he has to repeat it because he missed something. For example, went down to the XYZ office with what they needed (Oops, didn't see one thing they needed! REDO); takes child to get cast on and doesn't have wallet with health card or Credit card (Oops, let's go home and back again and spend all day here); loses his XYZ for a 5th time and buys another one (I think we're up to $1200 on the same $200 pair of Raybans!). So on and so forth.

Half assing it. I just hope he doesn't learn something very important the hard way - like a child's safety or health thing.

Personally, I think his parents groomed him this way (Just study sweetie, that's all you have to do) and that he has ADD, just like his brother.


I don't know. It seems like he pays for it every time he makes a mistake like that. If that isn't enough to get him to stop making those kinds of mistakes then maybe there is an element to the behavior that is simply out of his control. Why continue to set himself up like that? I would feel bad for him and I would try to help him make up a check list (or something) that he could think through before he goes on one of these errands.

It sounds almost like some sort of learning disability? I have less sympathy for the Op's dh because that was just so totally goofed up. 20 boxes of cookies misdelivered or not delivered is a big problem. And then to not even attempt to rectify it? No. Even if it means him going back door to door to figure out who he missed he should have done that. Then next year Op can handle the cookie sales!


Many people call it LACK OF COMMON SENSE. No drugs will help. Just make sure your kids develop it.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:16     Subject: This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
I don't know why I'm laughing at this.

I'm trying to imagine what a marriage must be like where you just got bat shit crazy on your husband for screwing up the delivery of cookies.

I don't think I've ever yelled at my husband (except maybe in labor).

Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:13     Subject: Re:This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Anonymous wrote:why can't OP's DH just get a copy of the order sheet and use that for delivery? Or does it not have the names/addresses, just the numbers ordered? what I'm asking is whether there's any written record of the orders?

fwiw, my husband would be the type to mess this up too, and I would probably get annoyed. But I would hardly equate that with a horrible marriage.

Because he already did the deliveries so now he has no way of knowing who didn't get what. Someone might be short 3 Thin Mints and someone else 1 Rah Rah but he doesn't know because as far as he recalls, everyone got their full order.

The better question is why has nobody emailed to be like "Brian I'm short two boxes of Tagalongs"?
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:09     Subject: This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Does your dh have a disorder like adhd or dyslexia?


Well, obviously. ADHD screams out here, but let's not talk about it because it's not an excuse - an adult should know just how much he or she is capable of taking on with that disorder. Both DH and I have ADHD, as does our son, and we know exactly how far we can go without messing up. No selling cookies for us, on top of everything else





Yes, many studies say it is genetic so look out for symptoms so you can approach things better and add more structure to tasks. Watch for it in your daughter as well. People can overcome it by learning to focus, but there are limits to what they can focus on well. multi-tasking is not one of them, plus if they spend all their focus energy on office work they may be useless at family or household stuff.

Sorry. Many adults were never diagnosed or have come up with coping mechanisms. Survival of the fittest used to take care of this stuff, now you have to.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:09     Subject: This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow. You don't exactly sound like a nice person yourself. I mean, from the first sentence I could tell you were one of "those" women.

Do you also nag and micromanage? Are you big on telling him not only what to do but how to do it?


I did not tell him a thing how to do this GS cookie situation. He totally ran with it.

Here we are.


Yep, that's life. My spouse is the same way. You'd think he'd learn a lesson by now and pay more attention to things, but no. Not with home or family or property stuff. He has a lame excuse for everything and never talks about his mistakes. ANd thus never prevents them from happening again.

Meanwhile, he continues to have no organizational system for anything (wallet, keys, taxes, paperwork) and half the time he does anything he has to repeat it because he missed something. For example, went down to the XYZ office with what they needed (Oops, didn't see one thing they needed! REDO); takes child to get cast on and doesn't have wallet with health card or Credit card (Oops, let's go home and back again and spend all day here); loses his XYZ for a 5th time and buys another one (I think we're up to $1200 on the same $200 pair of Raybans!). So on and so forth.

Half assing it. I just hope he doesn't learn something very important the hard way - like a child's safety or health thing.

Personally, I think his parents groomed him this way (Just study sweetie, that's all you have to do) and that he has ADD, just like his brother.


I don't know. It seems like he pays for it every time he makes a mistake like that. If that isn't enough to get him to stop making those kinds of mistakes then maybe there is an element to the behavior that is simply out of his control. Why continue to set himself up like that? I would feel bad for him and I would try to help him make up a check list (or something) that he could think through before he goes on one of these errands.

It sounds almost like some sort of learning disability? I have less sympathy for the Op's dh because that was just so totally goofed up. 20 boxes of cookies misdelivered or not delivered is a big problem. And then to not even attempt to rectify it? No. Even if it means him going back door to door to figure out who he missed he should have done that. Then next year Op can handle the cookie sales!
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2016 14:07     Subject: Re:This Girl Scout cookie typifies my horrible marriage.
why can't OP's DH just get a copy of the order sheet and use that for delivery? Or does it not have the names/addresses, just the numbers ordered? what I'm asking is whether there's any written record of the orders?

fwiw, my husband would be the type to mess this up too, and I would probably get annoyed. But I would hardly equate that with a horrible marriage.