I hate how enmeshed my IL’s are. I hate that they pull the BS “part of the family” during the engagement and wedding, and then afterwards I don’t get any of the warm welcoming I was hoping for. They ignore my texts, don’t take any genuine interest in getting to know me, and I get basically snubbed at family events. That’s why I don’t go to anything anymore to do with my IL’s. I’m suddenly busy.

I know my children will not have the same, close relationship with their grandparents as DD’s niece does. There’s no way I or DH could ask MIl to do what she did for my SIL, which is provide unpaid, full time childcare.

I’m not having a baby shower. They’re not invited to the hospital room, or the hospital in general when I’m in labor. They’re not invited to come see DD until I’ve been at home for a few days.

I know it sounds horrible, but I have no interest in over extending myself to people who barely give me the time of day or reciprocate zero interest in me as a human being.

I won’t see you at Thanksgiving, or Christmas. As far as I’m concerned you’re not my family and you’re DH’s.

Nearly every communication from MIL is a ploy to hit us up for cash. We are not wealthy and she's not living in poverty, she just has a shopping addiction and a hoarding issue that she has ultimately prioritized over her child and grandchildren. Any attempts, subtle or direct, to offer help or do anything other than supply money are met with months of silence, and then she reappears and pretends like nothing ever happened. I can't even describe what this does to my spouse, an only child, emotionally. We rarely see her and I find it hard to look at her during her visits... it's so hard to hide my anger.

Anonymous wrote:Bumping thread to vent.

I just spent Father's Day with my local ILs and have decided that my ILs are keenly interested in themselves. I used to think that ILs weren't much interested in me, but now I realize they ask zero questions and hurry any conversation that doesn't involve them so that they can get back to themselves.

So, so strange. Infuriating to have to sit at rapt attention to hear every single detail of a relative's financial problems but when DH talks about recent travel to an interesting locale, MIL uses the opportunity to express once again how she hates to fly. Quick break in conversation flow, then they are right back to themselves.

Latest is a lecture on Alzheimer's disease. One of their friends recently diagnosed. All they talk about is how devastated they are, how worried they are, how strange the symptoms are, etc. My dad died from Alzheimer's complications two years ago.

I've gone gray rock, but I can't figure out how to manage the non stop talking and monologues.

My ILs are like this and I don’t give them an audience. I chat for a bit, then I do chores or go read, nap or sleep. They talked about their vacation nonstop while I cleaned the fridge. I still mmm-hmm-ed a bit. I give them some polite attention, but they don’t get to hold me hostage.

Bumping thread to vent.

I just spent Father's Day with my local ILs and have decided that my ILs are keenly interested in themselves. I used to think that ILs weren't much interested in me, but now I realize they ask zero questions and hurry any conversation that doesn't involve them so that they can get back to themselves.

So, so strange. Infuriating to have to sit at rapt attention to hear every single detail of a relative's financial problems but when DH talks about recent travel to an interesting locale, MIL uses the opportunity to express once again how she hates to fly. Quick break in conversation flow, then they are right back to themselves.

Latest is a lecture on Alzheimer's disease. One of their friends recently diagnosed. All they talk about is how devastated they are, how worried they are, how strange the symptoms are, etc. My dad died from Alzheimer's complications two years ago.

I've gone gray rock, but I can't figure out how to manage the non stop talking and monologues.

MIL insisted that DD open her Christmas presents from MIL and FIL on Christmas Eve when it was just Us at their house. They gave DD 3 gifts totaling like $50 (whatever). But on Christmas when DH's sibling and kids arrive, MIL pulls out like 15 presents each for each of those kids totaling like $500. DD gets nothing.

MIL pressured me for a list of wedding gifts (including $ amounts for checks) that DH and I received from their friends and family. She wanted to keep tabs and have it for reference when a gifting occasion came up for one of their kids.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave my son (with whom she has spent almost no time despite living nearby) the book "Leo the Late Bloomer" for his birthday because she thinks his vocabulary and reading skills significantly lag behind those of his same age cousin, who is the first born child of her favorite son. I think her theory is that if we read it to him, it will help him feel better about being so "delayed". My son is 2.

She is horrible. I'm sorry!

My MIL gave my son (with whom she has spent almost no time despite living nearby) the book "Leo the Late Bloomer" for his birthday because she thinks his vocabulary and reading skills significantly lag behind those of his same age cousin, who is the first born child of her favorite son. I think her theory is that if we read it to him, it will help him feel better about being so "delayed". My son is 2.

My mother in law texts my toddler and tells me to read the text to him. How about calling and talking to him you crazy lady??

Anonymous wrote:MIL often begs for DD and DS pics to be sent to her via text. When I send them, she posts them on her Facebook to make it seem like she sees them more than she actually does. Then she loves writing in the comments about how they're growing up too fast. B!tch.

I hear you! "Grandmother of the year" - yeah, right.

Sorry you are going through this also, PP.

ILs insist on coming over at 8am every Sunday to see grandchild. They would throw a fit if we did not treat them like the most honored guests. They constantly criticized us for the most trivial things while they are over. Then they got upset when we said this is too much after almost two years of us putting up with their BS.

MIL often begs for DD and DS pics to be sent to her via text. When I send them, she posts them on her Facebook to make it seem like she sees them more than she actually does. Then she loves writing in the comments about how they're growing up too fast. B!tch.

My MIL is what I'll call a competitive hypochondriac. If someone is sick she has to be sicker. Preferably with the same thing. When it's a family member she claims the illness is genetic and she's patient zero.

Then she started acquiring illnesses by marriage. That's talent.

So MIL is having SILs wait on her hand and foot while MIL recovers from being sick. I would gladly make myself available, if MIL wasn't such a rude, snarky, SOB when I had a serious illness.

Besides that, she has never offered to watch the kids, in spite of the fact that she did so, weekly, for her other grandkids - who probably wore her out. She lives locally, but it is as if we have no family, really.

i=is