Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 23:29     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:Went out with a guy four times. We fooled around a little but did not have sex on dates two and three (I think he was trying to sleep with me on date 3 but I put the brakes on that). Date four he kissed me goodnight very chastley (cheek), claimed he was tired, and walked me back to my car.

That was last Friday and nothing but one friendly text exchange since then (initiated by him). He hasn't asked me out and I don't think he will, since he didn't ask me over Friday night.

If I were a man, I could ask him out and pursue him and try to win him over.

As a woman, I know realistically he just isn't into me and I need to move on rather than try to pursue him.


Who cares? He sounds like a loser anyway.

Be glad you had the smarts not to sleep with him because I'm sure he would be acting the same if you had. Count this up as a win and keep living life. Guarantee you in 6 months time you won't even remember his name
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 22:26     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Simple, tell the guy by date 3 that you like him but want to get to know him better before that part of the relationship. Three dates is nothing, you don't know that person. Establish a relationship and that you both are a match...then comes the sex.


Wrong. I'll just move on to someone else who will have sex with me, then when you finally come calling, I'll pump you then dump you.


You aren't doing anything of the kind as you are at home wishing your low drive wife would let you touch her and soon you will do your thing with Mrs. Thumb and her four sisters, meanwhile your wife posted here on her own asking why she married someone who is so awful in bed and how she never wants you to touch her.


Bahahah! He cheats on his left hand with his right.

Don't worry about the Op she is stringing 4 or 5 guys a long right now. She just wants free stuff.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 21:53     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Just speaking generally and not just this situation, for me it's a matter of trust.

Plenty of times I am totally ready to sleep with and am attracted to the guy. Like, really want to sleep with him. But I don't want to sleep with someone who doesn't like me and may just want to sleep with me a few times or until someone better comes along. It would be awful to sleep with a guy and then have him ghost me or never call me again.

Women risk a lot emotionally and physically when they have sex - pregnancy, stds, emotional attachment. I want to make sure the guy likes me and isn't a jerk before I sleep with him. Physical desire is not the issue. If by the third date, I am not attracted to him enough to sleep with him I don't keep dating him. I have better things to do. The extra time is to figure out if he is a nice person, likes me, I like his personality etc.

Any guy can be charming and pretend to like a girl for three or so dates.


Men risk all of those things too.

Obviously, men can't get pregnant. But if you unexpectedly get someone pregnant, that certainly affects you.


I was just having a conversation with a friend how guys try to get you to go hone with them after the first coffee date. Clearly they aren't worried about risking emotional and physical to have sex with a virtual stranger! OP, I'm with you. I always thought my husband was clever because he let me chase him a little. He showed he was interested but didn't pressure me for sex which had me trying to put the moves on him.


I don't most guys try to get sex on the first date. And yeah, smart guys who want a relationship will play it cool.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 21:44     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Just speaking generally and not just this situation, for me it's a matter of trust.

Plenty of times I am totally ready to sleep with and am attracted to the guy. Like, really want to sleep with him. But I don't want to sleep with someone who doesn't like me and may just want to sleep with me a few times or until someone better comes along. It would be awful to sleep with a guy and then have him ghost me or never call me again.

Women risk a lot emotionally and physically when they have sex - pregnancy, stds, emotional attachment. I want to make sure the guy likes me and isn't a jerk before I sleep with him. Physical desire is not the issue. If by the third date, I am not attracted to him enough to sleep with him I don't keep dating him. I have better things to do. The extra time is to figure out if he is a nice person, likes me, I like his personality etc.

Any guy can be charming and pretend to like a girl for three or so dates.


Men risk all of those things too.

Obviously, men can't get pregnant. But if you unexpectedly get someone pregnant, that certainly affects you.


I was just having a conversation with a friend how guys try to get you to go hone with them after the first coffee date. Clearly they aren't worried about risking emotional and physical to have sex with a virtual stranger! OP, I'm with you. I always thought my husband was clever because he let me chase him a little. He showed he was interested but didn't pressure me for sex which had me trying to put the moves on him.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 21:33     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Just speaking generally and not just this situation, for me it's a matter of trust.

Plenty of times I am totally ready to sleep with and am attracted to the guy. Like, really want to sleep with him. But I don't want to sleep with someone who doesn't like me and may just want to sleep with me a few times or until someone better comes along. It would be awful to sleep with a guy and then have him ghost me or never call me again.

Women risk a lot emotionally and physically when they have sex - pregnancy, stds, emotional attachment. I want to make sure the guy likes me and isn't a jerk before I sleep with him. Physical desire is not the issue. If by the third date, I am not attracted to him enough to sleep with him I don't keep dating him. I have better things to do. The extra time is to figure out if he is a nice person, likes me, I like his personality etc.

Any guy can be charming and pretend to like a girl for three or so dates.


Men risk all of those things too.

Obviously, men can't get pregnant. But if you unexpectedly get someone pregnant, that certainly affects you.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 17:30     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Just speaking generally and not just this situation, for me it's a matter of trust.

Plenty of times I am totally ready to sleep with and am attracted to the guy. Like, really want to sleep with him. But I don't want to sleep with someone who doesn't like me and may just want to sleep with me a few times or until someone better comes along. It would be awful to sleep with a guy and then have him ghost me or never call me again.

Women risk a lot emotionally and physically when they have sex - pregnancy, stds, emotional attachment. I want to make sure the guy likes me and isn't a jerk before I sleep with him. Physical desire is not the issue. If by the third date, I am not attracted to him enough to sleep with him I don't keep dating him. I have better things to do. The extra time is to figure out if he is a nice person, likes me, I like his personality etc.

Any guy can be charming and pretend to like a girl for three or so dates.


So you didn't sleep with THIS guy after three dates which means--by what you just said--you're not attracted to him!!!!

Fuck you are a head case OP.


Can you read? I said that on a physical level, I might really really want to sleep with a guy (as I did with him) but I need for the relationship to be at a certain level in order to feel emotionally comfortable doing so. I don't want to just casually sleep with someone I am not actually dating.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 16:57     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Just speaking generally and not just this situation, for me it's a matter of trust.

Plenty of times I am totally ready to sleep with and am attracted to the guy. Like, really want to sleep with him. But I don't want to sleep with someone who doesn't like me and may just want to sleep with me a few times or until someone better comes along. It would be awful to sleep with a guy and then have him ghost me or never call me again.

Women risk a lot emotionally and physically when they have sex - pregnancy, stds, emotional attachment. I want to make sure the guy likes me and isn't a jerk before I sleep with him. Physical desire is not the issue. If by the third date, I am not attracted to him enough to sleep with him I don't keep dating him. I have better things to do. The extra time is to figure out if he is a nice person, likes me, I like his personality etc.

Any guy can be charming and pretend to like a girl for three or so dates.


So you didn't sleep with THIS guy after three dates which means--by what you just said--you're not attracted to him!!!!

Fuck you are a head case OP.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 16:54     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why the OP has all this angst.

This guy she was dating wanted to have sex with her and she doesn't want to have sex with him. No one says she has to do that if she doesn't feel like it.

On the other hand, OP has this entitlement princess mentality that somehow the guy is supposed to stick around and cater to her whims....where is this delusional attitude coming from, exactly?

There's nothing "wrong" with OP being frigid or not sexually attracted to this particular guy.

But there's equally nothing wrong with him wanting to have sex with her and then moving on when she doesn't want to have sex with him.

OP's only problem is she seems to feel he "owes" something to her.

He doesn't.


Whiny men think they are owed sex.

Whiny women think they areally owed a relationship.


Of course men are "owed" sex. That is, if the objective is a normal, serious, healthy adult relationship. Only frigid women believe otherwise.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 16:20     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Op here. Just speaking generally and not just this situation, for me it's a matter of trust.

Plenty of times I am totally ready to sleep with and am attracted to the guy. Like, really want to sleep with him. But I don't want to sleep with someone who doesn't like me and may just want to sleep with me a few times or until someone better comes along. It would be awful to sleep with a guy and then have him ghost me or never call me again.

Women risk a lot emotionally and physically when they have sex - pregnancy, stds, emotional attachment. I want to make sure the guy likes me and isn't a jerk before I sleep with him. Physical desire is not the issue. If by the third date, I am not attracted to him enough to sleep with him I don't keep dating him. I have better things to do. The extra time is to figure out if he is a nice person, likes me, I like his personality etc.

Any guy can be charming and pretend to like a girl for three or so dates.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 14:44     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
I have only read the OP, not the comments, so forgive me if this has been addressed already.

My DH was shocked that I didn't sleep with him on the first few dates and told me later (much later!) that he almost didn't ask me out again because he was so thrown. He thought I wasn't interested and he didn't want to waste his time. To this day he refers to it as our "50s style courtship." (Mind you it happened within 3 or 4 weeks, just not 3 or 4 dates.)

You could invite him over for dinner, to show him that you ARE interested and aren't just trying to get him to take you out to restaurants. Make an effort with the meal. If he declines, it's all over. If he says yes, and things get physical at the end, explain to him how you feel and see what happens.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 14:36     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Wow, this thread really blew up since the last time I checked.

I am not interested in having a sexless, platonic relationship. By the end of our third date, I had spent maybe eight hours total with this guy in my entire life. For me, that's not enough time to know whether or not I like and trust someone enough to sleep with him.


You don't think he's attractive. That's what men will read into it. He will also feel rejected because you probably slept with other men quicker in your past.


Agreed PP.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 14:36     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure why the OP has all this angst.

This guy she was dating wanted to have sex with her and she doesn't want to have sex with him. No one says she has to do that if she doesn't feel like it.

On the other hand, OP has this entitlement princess mentality that somehow the guy is supposed to stick around and cater to her whims....where is this delusional attitude coming from, exactly?

There's nothing "wrong" with OP being frigid or not sexually attracted to this particular guy.

But there's equally nothing wrong with him wanting to have sex with her and then moving on when she doesn't want to have sex with him.

OP's only problem is she seems to feel he "owes" something to her.

He doesn't.


Excellent post
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 14:14     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Wow, this thread really blew up since the last time I checked.

I am not interested in having a sexless, platonic relationship. By the end of our third date, I had spent maybe eight hours total with this guy in my entire life. For me, that's not enough time to know whether or not I like and trust someone enough to sleep with him.


You don't think he's attractive. That's what men will read into it. He will also feel rejected because you probably slept with other men quicker in your past.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 09:33     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Simple, tell the guy by date 3 that you like him but want to get to know him better before that part of the relationship. Three dates is nothing, you don't know that person. Establish a relationship and that you both are a match...then comes the sex.


Wrong. I'll just move on to someone else who will have sex with me, then when you finally come calling, I'll pump you then dump you.


You aren't doing anything of the kind as you are at home wishing your low drive wife would let you touch her and soon you will do your thing with Mrs. Thumb and her four sisters, meanwhile your wife posted here on her own asking why she married someone who is so awful in bed and how she never wants you to touch her.


Bahahah! He cheats on his left hand with his right.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 08:21     Subject: Hate being a woman in the the dating scene
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Simple, tell the guy by date 3 that you like him but want to get to know him better before that part of the relationship. Three dates is nothing, you don't know that person. Establish a relationship and that you both are a match...then comes the sex.


Wrong. I'll just move on to someone else who will have sex with me, then when you finally come calling, I'll pump you then dump you.


You aren't doing anything of the kind as you are at home wishing your low drive wife would let you touch her and soon you will do your thing with Mrs. Thumb and her four sisters, meanwhile your wife posted here on her own asking why she married someone who is so awful in bed and how she never wants you to touch her.