Anonymous
08/03/2015 10:25
Subject: My husband confessed that he is resentful about us having a child
Anonymous wrote:He may just need more time.
I got pregnant accidentally because the guy I was dating apparently didn't know how to use condoms properly. He was initially very angry with me when I decided to keep the baby anyway, but he worked through it and it passed. We didn't get back together after the breakup while I was pregnant, but he has been a great father anyway. I know he misses certain aspects of his life before baby - just like I do - but we've done whatever we can to try to keep certain things intact. (like his ability to take on interesting jobs that require deployments. Harder for me, but I put up with it because it's important to him.)
Good luck.
Not the same situation at all. He doesn't need more time to bond with his son or become a loving father. This is all about OP deceiving him; something that is missing from your example.
Anonymous
08/03/2015 10:16
Subject: Re:My husband confessed that he is resentful about us having a child
OP, I am not surprised the sentiment you are receiving. In a marriage, when there are choices made about birth control that were jointly, unilaterally deciding to stop without telling your spouse is a horrible and would undermine any sense of trust for many people. You don't seem to see this, which is a huge problem.
You are lucky your DH is a good father. This could have ended in a horrific manner for you so just count your blessing and work your ass off to rebuild the trust you shattered.
You are lucky your DH is a good father. This could have ended in a horrific manner for you so just count your blessing and work your ass off to rebuild the trust you shattered.
Anonymous
08/03/2015 10:00
Subject: My husband confessed that he is resentful about us having a child
"Hey honey I haven't had a chance to pick up my BC would you mind popping by the pharmacy to pick it up? Thnx!"
That took about 20 seconds to type.
You have to be honest with yourself and take responsibility before your DH can ever move past your terrible deceit.
That took about 20 seconds to type.
You have to be honest with yourself and take responsibility before your DH can ever move past your terrible deceit.
Anonymous
08/03/2015 08:40
Subject: Re:My husband confessed that he is resentful about us having a child
+1. Op lied by omission.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
He's right. You were irresponsible. How could you not fill your prescription for 3 weeks?! Did you not use other birth control during the time.
What you did was very deceitful. No wonder your husband is resentful.
Didn't he have some responsibility also?
He may have had some and he may have handled it if OP had actually told him she was off the pill. You guys want to hold him responsible for information that she intentionally kept from him.
Anonymous
08/03/2015 08:39
Subject: My husband confessed that he is resentful about us having a child
. +1. Op and her husband agreed on a form of birth control. She then chose not to take the pill for THREE weeks without telling him so he could make appropriate choices. He is not at fault here. This rests 100% on op and she needs to own it.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Man, SOME women on here are so anti-DH that they cannot even think straight. And I say this as a woman. OP and her DH had an agreement - NO KIDS! They also had an agreement as to the form of BC that OP unilaterally broke without informing the DH. So many of you are saying that he is wrong because if he did not want kids, he should have taken steps. In essence, you are saying that the DH should not have trusted that his wife would do what they agreed to do. He should have realized that his wife is untrustworthy and deceitful? So even if he did take steps like y'all suggest, how in the world could you even advocate that he should stay married to such an untrustworty and deceitful woman? Yea, he needs to grow up and leave his lying ass wife! Anyone with a brain can see that it is not about the son - who OP admits he clearly loves. It is about being with a woman who deceived and duped him. It is not about the kid, it is about the OP.
She did not purposely stop taking the pill to get pregnant she did not take them with the thought that there was no way she would get pregnant if she missed the pill 3 weeks out of 15 years.
I trust my H to pay the bills, I also know that when he is on travel, if I don't pay the credit card bill we will be charged a late fee, because he is not very diligent when he travels, I learned this after paying the late fee every time he travels.
The H expected his wife to be perfect and to never make an error in judgement, that is why he is the douche in this scenario.
After being on the pill a gazillion years I did not notify my H every time I missed one, or every time I was on antibiotics, or every time I threw up from the stomach flu after I took the pill, or every time I took it in the PM instead of the am, or when I change to a lower dose to try to help with bleeding issues. I never even thought about the pill when I took St. John's Wart.
Sorry - we are not talking about paying a credit card bill. We are talking about a life changer - becoming a parent.
I am not expecting the OP to be perfect at all. I am expecting her to be open and honest with her DH. If you and your DH agree about no kids, you and your DH agree on the BC, you miss taking the pill and you do not tell your DH OR insist on another form of BC during that time, it is NOT "douchey" for him to be upset when you become pregnant. It is a natural consequence. And that "error in judgment" can cause a reasonable person to lose trust in you.
Anonymous
08/03/2015 03:43
Subject: My husband confessed that he is resentful about us having a child
Anonymous wrote:He may just need more time.
I got pregnant accidentally because the guy I was dating apparently didn't know how to use condoms properly. He was initially very angry with me when I decided to keep the baby anyway, but he worked through it and it passed. We didn't get back together after the breakup while I was pregnant, but he has been a great father anyway. I know he misses certain aspects of his life before baby - just like I do - but we've done whatever we can to try to keep certain things intact. (like his ability to take on interesting jobs that require deployments. Harder for me, but I put up with it because it's important to him.)
Good luck.
I can't imagine anyone not being able to figure that one out...lmao, pretty self explanatory
Anonymous
07/30/2015 10:21
Subject: My husband confessed that he is resentful about us having a child
He may just need more time.
I got pregnant accidentally because the guy I was dating apparently didn't know how to use condoms properly. He was initially very angry with me when I decided to keep the baby anyway, but he worked through it and it passed. We didn't get back together after the breakup while I was pregnant, but he has been a great father anyway. I know he misses certain aspects of his life before baby - just like I do - but we've done whatever we can to try to keep certain things intact. (like his ability to take on interesting jobs that require deployments. Harder for me, but I put up with it because it's important to him.)
Good luck.
I got pregnant accidentally because the guy I was dating apparently didn't know how to use condoms properly. He was initially very angry with me when I decided to keep the baby anyway, but he worked through it and it passed. We didn't get back together after the breakup while I was pregnant, but he has been a great father anyway. I know he misses certain aspects of his life before baby - just like I do - but we've done whatever we can to try to keep certain things intact. (like his ability to take on interesting jobs that require deployments. Harder for me, but I put up with it because it's important to him.)
Good luck.
Anonymous
07/30/2015 10:10
Subject: My husband confessed that he is resentful about us having a child
A few points I think folks are missing:
Baby did not result due to an accident (which does happen). OP did not miss a single, or two pills, or get ill and have he pills not work. She missed an entire cycle and did not inform heR DH when they had intercourse. This is not an "oops", this is a deliberate action.
Yes, sh*t happens, but it happens in a day and as an accident. All OP a needed to do is either pick up alternative contraception (condoms, etc) knowing full well she hadn't had her pills in weeks, tell her husband during sex that she was unprotected (and offer oral sex, etc if backup wasn't abailable OR let him I on the risk) OR get Plan b afterwards.
I can't believe that not once in three weeks.. Before sex, during, or after, that OP did not inform her DH she was off the pill. That, to me as a woman, is deceit.
DH does not want children. I do. se jointly take care of birth control. There is trust there. Without it, what do y have?
Baby did not result due to an accident (which does happen). OP did not miss a single, or two pills, or get ill and have he pills not work. She missed an entire cycle and did not inform heR DH when they had intercourse. This is not an "oops", this is a deliberate action.
Yes, sh*t happens, but it happens in a day and as an accident. All OP a needed to do is either pick up alternative contraception (condoms, etc) knowing full well she hadn't had her pills in weeks, tell her husband during sex that she was unprotected (and offer oral sex, etc if backup wasn't abailable OR let him I on the risk) OR get Plan b afterwards.
I can't believe that not once in three weeks.. Before sex, during, or after, that OP did not inform her DH she was off the pill. That, to me as a woman, is deceit.
DH does not want children. I do. se jointly take care of birth control. There is trust there. Without it, what do y have?
Anonymous
07/30/2015 09:46
Subject: Re:My husband confessed that he is resentful about us having a child
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
He's right. You were irresponsible. How could you not fill your prescription for 3 weeks?! Did you not use other birth control during the time.
What you did was very deceitful. No wonder your husband is resentful.
Didn't he have some responsibility also?
He may have had some and he may have handled it if OP had actually told him she was off the pill. You guys want to hold him responsible for information that she intentionally kept from him.