Anonymous
06/10/2015 11:53
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's not a very simple issue. It would be my daughter choosing to adopt the patriarchal paradigm and patriarchy-dictated norms. It would still be her choice to do so, but it wouldn't be happening in a vacuum.
Don't make your daughter fight the patriarchy on your behalf. Help her navigate the elementary and middle school norms emotionally intact, so she can fight the battles she wants to fight once she's old enough to do so.
It's a more extreme case, but it reminds me of the contingent of naked people I saw in a parade in a very lefty, liberal, non-patriarchal place. What troubled me was the fact that some of their elementary-aged kids were marching with them, also naked. Now maybe they really did want to fight norms by parading naked down the street, but maybe they were also feeling coerced by parents who said, "if you choose to wear clothes, you are choosing to adopt the anti-nudist paradigm and anti-nudism-dictated norms."
Did you read my post, or are you trying to stir s***? It would ultimately be her choice to shave or not. The decision just wouldn't happen in a vacuum. She'd be taught where the idea of shaving one's legs (etc.) = good comes from, who profits from people who buy into that idea, what she is actually choosing to do (i.e. bend to patriarchy norms). She would be armed with knowledge, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I'm sorry, but do you ever re-read your posts? Out loud? They are seriously comical. Is every decision in your family fraught with socio-political implications?
This kind of decision is. Because of what I already explained and I'm not going to repeat. If you want to call it comical, go ahead. We choose to be aware of the implications of our choices, especially major ones. And yes, this is a biggie.
It means something to you...but what about your children? You are going to fight them on something like shaving that may make heir tween years that much more bearable? What about being in their corner?
Anonymous
06/10/2015 07:49
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Waxing kids? Only the vain moms in DC do this. Maybe NY or LA too. 10 people!
+1
I was playing barbies at 10. Now we have 4th graders waxing, concealer, lip gloss, worried about what other people think of them.
+2
First world DC metro problems
Not really. There are plenty of emerging market countries where there would be no question that if the child had too much hair it should be removed. This is considered a basic grooming issue, like brushing one's hair. There would be genuine confusion at the suggestion that this is somehow an issue of either vanity or morality.
a 10yr old waxing/shaving is the same as her brushing her hair. Um, no. Not even close. It is for vanity and vanity only.
What about a 14-year-old shaving? An 18-year-old? A 28-year-old?
And who says brushing your hair isn't for vanity? You'll be perfectly fine with a bird's nest on your head, no serious health implications.
+1
It's all vanity.
Who the hell cares? If you don't "approve" of removing the hair on your legs, by all means, don't. But don't judge anyone else who does.
as the +1 poster - I do think it's vanity, but I personally APPROVE of vanity. Vanity isn't BAD - just means that it's about your appearance. Nothing wrong with wanting to have brushed hair and smooth legs.
Anonymous
06/10/2015 07:36
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's not a very simple issue. It would be my daughter choosing to adopt the patriarchal paradigm and patriarchy-dictated norms. It would still be her choice to do so, but it wouldn't be happening in a vacuum.
Don't make your daughter fight the patriarchy on your behalf. Help her navigate the elementary and middle school norms emotionally intact, so she can fight the battles she wants to fight once she's old enough to do so.
It's a more extreme case, but it reminds me of the contingent of naked people I saw in a parade in a very lefty, liberal, non-patriarchal place. What troubled me was the fact that some of their elementary-aged kids were marching with them, also naked. Now maybe they really did want to fight norms by parading naked down the street, but maybe they were also feeling coerced by parents who said, "if you choose to wear clothes, you are choosing to adopt the anti-nudist paradigm and anti-nudism-dictated norms."
Did you read my post, or are you trying to stir s***? It would ultimately be her choice to shave or not. The decision just wouldn't happen in a vacuum. She'd be taught where the idea of shaving one's legs (etc.) = good comes from, who profits from people who buy into that idea, what she is actually choosing to do (i.e. bend to patriarchy norms). She would be armed with knowledge, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I'm sorry, but do you ever re-read your posts? Out loud? They are seriously comical. Is every decision in your family fraught with socio-political implications?
This kind of decision is. Because of what I already explained and I'm not going to repeat. If you want to call it comical, go ahead. We choose to be aware of the implications of our choices, especially major ones. And yes, this is a biggie.
Anonymous
06/10/2015 06:36
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Waxing kids? Only the vain moms in DC do this. Maybe NY or LA too. 10 people!
+1
I was playing barbies at 10. Now we have 4th graders waxing, concealer, lip gloss, worried about what other people think of them.
+2
First world DC metro problems
Not really. There are plenty of emerging market countries where there would be no question that if the child had too much hair it should be removed. This is considered a basic grooming issue, like brushing one's hair. There would be genuine confusion at the suggestion that this is somehow an issue of either vanity or morality.
What about a 14-year-old shaving? An 18-year-old? A 28-year-old?
And who says brushing your hair isn't for vanity? You'll be perfectly fine with a bird's nest on your head, no serious health implications.
+1
It's all vanity.
Who the hell cares? If you don't "approve" of removing the hair on your legs, by all means, don't. But don't judge anyone else who does.
Anonymous
06/10/2015 03:53
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Waxing kids? Only the vain moms in DC do this. Maybe NY or LA too. 10 people!
+1
I was playing barbies at 10. Now we have 4th graders waxing, concealer, lip gloss, worried about what other people think of them.
+2
First world DC metro problems
Not really. There are plenty of emerging market countries where there would be no question that if the child had too much hair it should be removed. This is considered a basic grooming issue, like brushing one's hair. There would be genuine confusion at the suggestion that this is somehow an issue of either vanity or morality.
What about a 14-year-old shaving? An 18-year-old? A 28-year-old?
And who says brushing your hair isn't for vanity? You'll be perfectly fine with a bird's nest on your head, no serious health implications.
+1
It's all vanity.
Anonymous
06/10/2015 00:13
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Waxing kids? Only the vain moms in DC do this. Maybe NY or LA too. 10 people!
+1
I was playing barbies at 10. Now we have 4th graders waxing, concealer, lip gloss, worried about what other people think of them.
+2
First world DC metro problems
Not really. There are plenty of emerging market countries where there would be no question that if the child had too much hair it should be removed. This is considered a basic grooming issue, like brushing one's hair. There would be genuine confusion at the suggestion that this is somehow an issue of either vanity or morality.
+1
Anonymous
06/09/2015 23:27
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Waxing kids? Only the vain moms in DC do this. Maybe NY or LA too. 10 people!
+1
I was playing barbies at 10. Now we have 4th graders waxing, concealer, lip gloss, worried about what other people think of them.
+2
First world DC metro problems
Not really. There are plenty of emerging market countries where there would be no question that if the child had too much hair it should be removed. This is considered a basic grooming issue, like brushing one's hair. There would be genuine confusion at the suggestion that this is somehow an issue of either vanity or morality.
What about a 14-year-old shaving? An 18-year-old? A 28-year-old?
And who says brushing your hair isn't for vanity? You'll be perfectly fine with a bird's nest on your head, no serious health implications.
Stop trying to rationalize.
Brushing hair = grooming
Shaving at any age = vanity
Says who?
Anonymous
06/09/2015 23:00
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Waxing kids? Only the vain moms in DC do this. Maybe NY or LA too. 10 people!
+1
I was playing barbies at 10. Now we have 4th graders waxing, concealer, lip gloss, worried about what other people think of them.
+2
First world DC metro problems
Not really. There are plenty of emerging market countries where there would be no question that if the child had too much hair it should be removed. This is considered a basic grooming issue, like brushing one's hair. There would be genuine confusion at the suggestion that this is somehow an issue of either vanity or morality.
What about a 14-year-old shaving? An 18-year-old? A 28-year-old?
And who says brushing your hair isn't for vanity? You'll be perfectly fine with a bird's nest on your head, no serious health implications.
Stop trying to rationalize.
Brushing hair = grooming
Shaving at any age = vanity
Anonymous
06/09/2015 22:53
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Waxing kids? Only the vain moms in DC do this. Maybe NY or LA too. 10 people!
+1
I was playing barbies at 10. Now we have 4th graders waxing, concealer, lip gloss, worried about what other people think of them.
+2
First world DC metro problems
Not really. There are plenty of emerging market countries where there would be no question that if the child had too much hair it should be removed. This is considered a basic grooming issue, like brushing one's hair. There would be genuine confusion at the suggestion that this is somehow an issue of either vanity or morality.
What about a 14-year-old shaving? An 18-year-old? A 28-year-old?
And who says brushing your hair isn't for vanity? You'll be perfectly fine with a bird's nest on your head, no serious health implications.
Anonymous
06/09/2015 22:42
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Waxing kids? Only the vain moms in DC do this. Maybe NY or LA too. 10 people!
+1
I was playing barbies at 10. Now we have 4th graders waxing, concealer, lip gloss, worried about what other people think of them.
+2
First world DC metro problems
Not really. There are plenty of emerging market countries where there would be no question that if the child had too much hair it should be removed. This is considered a basic grooming issue, like brushing one's hair. There would be genuine confusion at the suggestion that this is somehow an issue of either vanity or morality.
a 10yr old waxing/shaving is the same as her brushing her hair. Um, no. Not even close. It is for vanity and vanity only.
Anonymous
06/09/2015 22:01
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:In my house the decision would be her body, her choice. But I would recommend Nair or waxing.
In mine too, but only after I was sure she understood the societal dynamics that makes shaving a desirable behavior for women, and after I was sure she didn't prefer me to deal with the people who should put a stop to the teasing and the persona comments from her peers.
Also, the shaving would happen in a way that's consistent with our family values - frugally, cruelty-free products only, at home, not at a salon.
Waxing kind of sucks because you actually have to let the hair grow before you wax. So you have to be hairy for a bit before you can wax. And the hair grows back in stages, so she'll have random hairs popping everywhere.
This is why I don't understand waxing. The first time, sure, it's great - all that hair gone in one fell swoop. But then, as you say, you have to allow the hair to grow back in long enough to wax again. And there are always different stages of hair growth, so you're constantly having to wax. What a pain. I did laser as an adult and it has changed my life. But for my young daughter, I think we'll stick to shaving.
Anonymous
06/09/2015 21:58
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's not a very simple issue. It would be my daughter choosing to adopt the patriarchal paradigm and patriarchy-dictated norms. It would still be her choice to do so, but it wouldn't be happening in a vacuum.
Don't make your daughter fight the patriarchy on your behalf. Help her navigate the elementary and middle school norms emotionally intact, so she can fight the battles she wants to fight once she's old enough to do so.
It's a more extreme case, but it reminds me of the contingent of naked people I saw in a parade in a very lefty, liberal, non-patriarchal place. What troubled me was the fact that some of their elementary-aged kids were marching with them, also naked. Now maybe they really did want to fight norms by parading naked down the street, but maybe they were also feeling coerced by parents who said, "if you choose to wear clothes, you are choosing to adopt the anti-nudist paradigm and anti-nudism-dictated norms."
Did you read my post, or are you trying to stir s***? It would ultimately be her choice to shave or not. The decision just wouldn't happen in a vacuum. She'd be taught where the idea of shaving one's legs (etc.) = good comes from, who profits from people who buy into that idea, what she is actually choosing to do (i.e. bend to patriarchy norms). She would be armed with knowledge, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I'm sorry, but do you ever re-read your posts? Out loud? They are seriously comical. Is every decision in your family fraught with socio-political implications?
Anonymous
06/09/2015 18:16
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Electric razor is the best option. No pain, no awful stubble, no cuts. Easy.
Anonymous
06/09/2015 18:03
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The problem with waxing is that you then have to wait for it all to grow back (and be visible) before you can wax again.
It doesn't have to grow out much h, and it's not that visible whole it does.
Sure, whatever you say. My two best friends wax and their legs are hairy when they are growing it. Plus, if you are hairy, you have to wax a lot more often because of hair cycles. regrowth will be more noticeable.
Imagine how gnarly their stubble would be. All of the time.
Anonymous
06/09/2015 17:48
Subject: 10yo embarrased by hairy legs and wants to shave. i am at a loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The problem with waxing is that you then have to wait for it all to grow back (and be visible) before you can wax again.
It doesn't have to grow out much h, and it's not that visible whole it does.
Sure, whatever you say. My two best friends wax and their legs are hairy when they are growing it. Plus, if you are hairy, you have to wax a lot more often because of hair cycles. regrowth will be more noticeable.