I hate to admit this, but at first, I was offended that my husband spent $5k on my ring, which is ~ 1 mo. salary. Sorta like... why wasn't I worth more to him?

BUT now I know that he's just practical with his money and the size of the ring and how much he spent was NOT a reflection of how he feels about me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy what you can afford to pay in a lump sum now, or are OK with paying off in the future. For some, that would be a $1000 ring, for others, a $100,000 ring.

People really do go into debt for engagement rings? Wow. Now I have officially heard it all.

I agree it is a poor financial decision, but not everyone gets married in their 30s with a six-figure income.

Ok, but still.

I can see going into debt for education, for a house, for a car... heck, I can see going into moderate debt (not 20K!) for a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but... for a piece of jewelry? It seems so horrendously frivolous to me to take on a financial burden for that.

You know what's really romantic? Get two hundred $100 bills. Get down on one knee. Then light that shit on fire. Propose over the flames. She'll swoon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I proposed to my fiancé on valentines day. The ring was around $22,000. It's a 3 carat Asscher cut ring.

I believe it's two months salary. I own a very lucrative business and wanted to buy her the best ring I knew she would love. I would be much more practical if I did not have a high-earning income.

If $22,000 is two months salary, your definition of very lucrative is very different than mine.

You are misreading what I wrote. I reiterated that I believe it is 2 months salary. I bought my fiance a $22,000 ring because it was perfect for her, not based on my salary. My annual income exceeds $1mil, making my business very lucrative.

A man should spend an amount that is about equal to the amount his woman spends on her engagement gift to him.

In marriage, both partners are 100% equal, right?

My husband bought a ring then we traded up. Wedding jewelry is all the jewelry I wear daily so it was important to me. He bought a flawless loose stone and put money down or a setting. When I went in to size the setting, I found one I liked better so I paid the difference. I didn't tell him the new setting was more, but I'm very happy with the result. Unfortunately our 25 year marriage didn't last, so keep that in mind with a ring. Oddly, we still see one another and sleep with one another and live together. Don't ask. I don't know what it means.

Anonymous wrote:Rule: Buy the ring that you can afford to buy with cash on hand. The idea of financing a ring (unless its one of those 6 month interest free deals) is just crazy and a sign of financial irresponsibility - not a way to start off building a life together.

Agree with this. I paid cash for my wife's ring. It was just under 20k and it's what I could afford. No credit cards, no financing and it is stunning. My douche bag cousin who is in banking and makes more than me financed an absurd ring and now he can't afford to pay for the wedding. He didn't realize that the nicer venues don't take credit cards for deposits. Moron.

18:35 Moissanite poster here. By the way, we spent $25 on DH's ring off of Amazon. EXACT same ring, same material that was going for over $300 at a mall jewelry store. If your husband is wanting something like Tungsten Carbide or Titanium, shop online for sure. (DH didn't want gold and wanted something he wouldn't feel bad if he lost - and he has it in two sizes so as his fingers swell and shrink with the seasons he can wear the one that feels best that day.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy what you can afford to pay in a lump sum now, or are OK with paying off in the future. For some, that would be a $1000 ring, for others, a $100,000 ring.

People really do go into debt for engagement rings? Wow. Now I have officially heard it all.

I agree it is a poor financial decision, but not everyone gets married in their 30s with a six-figure income.

Then buy what you can afford and trade up later if the 4 Cs are important to you.

I completely agree with you, I just think you are living in a bubble if you were completely unaware that this is happening.

Anonymous wrote:OP, there's something called an Amora Gem (look up BetterThanDiamond.com) that is a very realistic-looking diamond alternative that is a fraction of what a diamond would cost. That might be an option.

I don't know what Amora is (from my research, you need to watch out for CZ because it won't stand the test of time), but we went with moissanite set in palladium and I still LOVE it (3 years on). Has held up extremely well to a fair amount of abuse (as expected, it is stronger than many alternative stones people go with in rings and just slightly below diamond). We had plenty of money and no debt, I just had no desire to own an actual diamond - but I like the look of clear stones so it goes with a wide variety of clothing/other jewelry.

I think my engagement ring was around $750 and my wedding band was around $750 - total of $1500. I am super happy with them. I think the key is that it is what I wanted from the start, not something I settled on.

I think the engagement ring alone was around 12% of one month's gross pay for my DH, probably about 20% of one month's take-home pay. We have the same values around money and spending, so it worked great for us. I think being happy with your choice and being on the same page as your partner is all that matters.

Anonymous wrote:I proposed to my fiancé on valentines day. The ring was around $22,000. It's a 3 carat Asscher cut ring.

I believe it's two months salary. I own a very lucrative business and wanted to buy her the best ring I knew she would love. I would be much more practical if I did not have a high-earning income.

If $22,000 is two months salary, your definition of very lucrative is very different than mine.

Anonymous wrote:I proposed to my fiancé on valentines day. The ring was around $22,000. It's a 3 carat Asscher cut ring.

I believe it's two months salary. I own a very lucrative business and wanted to buy her the best ring I knew she would love. I would be much more practical if I did not have a high-earning income.

If I had a partner who made 120k, and he spent 22k on a ring, I would hesitate to marry him. Sound financial decision making is crucial to marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy what you can afford to pay in a lump sum now, or are OK with paying off in the future. For some, that would be a $1000 ring, for others, a $100,000 ring.

People really do go into debt for engagement rings? Wow. Now I have officially heard it all.

I agree it is a poor financial decision, but not everyone gets married in their 30s with a six-figure income.

Then buy what you can afford and trade up later if the 4 Cs are important to you.

Rule: Buy the ring that you can afford to buy with cash on hand. The idea of financing a ring (unless its one of those 6 month interest free deals) is just crazy and a sign of financial irresponsibility - not a way to start off building a life together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy what you can afford to pay in a lump sum now, or are OK with paying off in the future. For some, that would be a $1000 ring, for others, a $100,000 ring.

People really do go into debt for engagement rings? Wow. Now I have officially heard it all.

I agree it is a poor financial decision, but not everyone gets married in their 30s with a six-figure income.