Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 21:59     Subject: not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:my mom is 60. She works out daily AND plays in a tennis league which puts her on the court 4 days a week. She has a hearty appetite. She is 5'9" tall and weighs 155. She is not scary skinny, nor is she remotely fat. She is a good 15lbs heavier than when she was 40. She's had 3 children. Just because you have gone through menopause does not mean you become fat. I see very very few women her age who are as active as she is. If you are inactive and you eat more calories than you burn you will be fat. This applies to children and senior citizens alike.


How does she manage her full time executive career with that much physical activity? Or, let me guess, she's a SAHM.


Uh, she's my mom. I know this is DC and all, She's 60. Her youngest child is 33..she still works a full time job. She always worked out when we were kids.


She worked out every day, worked full time, and was a mom. Yeah, right. There aren't enough hours in the day -- unless you are really crappy at your job or your parenting.


Whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day. There are lots of us who are moms, work full time and exercise everyday.


This is what most successful working moms are doing. I don't know many fat out of shape Type A executives. Fat people are viewed as lazy. Right or wrong people see it as a outward sign of being out of control.

I'm up every morning at 5am. I'm exercising from 5:30 -630. I make a choice not to stay up late watching TV or trolling the internet. It's choices. and the only impact it had on my kids is that they have a fit, energetic, healthy mother (and father).

Carry on making excuses. It would make you all much more attractive if you owned your condition instead of making excuses that hold no water And then attempting to claim that because you don't take care of yourself you are somehow a superior worker or mother. It's laughable.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 21:51     Subject: not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:my mom is 60. She works out daily AND plays in a tennis league which puts her on the court 4 days a week. She has a hearty appetite. She is 5'9" tall and weighs 155. She is not scary skinny, nor is she remotely fat. She is a good 15lbs heavier than when she was 40. She's had 3 children. Just because you have gone through menopause does not mean you become fat. I see very very few women her age who are as active as she is. If you are inactive and you eat more calories than you burn you will be fat. This applies to children and senior citizens alike.


How does she manage her full time executive career with that much physical activity? Or, let me guess, she's a SAHM.


This is a classic! Only on DCUM does someone think a 60yr old rising senior citizen is a SAHM.

Just because it is physically possible with the assistance of medical intervention, does not mean it should happen!
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 21:51     Subject: not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:my mom is 60. She works out daily AND plays in a tennis league which puts her on the court 4 days a week. She has a hearty appetite. She is 5'9" tall and weighs 155. She is not scary skinny, nor is she remotely fat. She is a good 15lbs heavier than when she was 40. She's had 3 children. Just because you have gone through menopause does not mean you become fat. I see very very few women her age who are as active as she is. If you are inactive and you eat more calories than you burn you will be fat. This applies to children and senior citizens alike.


How does she manage her full time executive career with that much physical activity? Or, let me guess, she's a SAHM.


Uh, she's my mom. I know this is DC and all, She's 60. Her youngest child is 33..she still works a full time job. She always worked out when we were kids.


She worked out every day, worked full time, and was a mom. Yeah, right. There aren't enough hours in the day -- unless you are really crappy at your job or your parenting.


Whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day. There are lots of us who are moms, work full time and exercise everyday.


PP didn't say you can't do it. She said you can't do it all well. I agree.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 21:47     Subject: Re:not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
We don't even know how "fat" OP is...I don't think her husbands passive aggressive approach is justified under any circumstances, but if OP has put on 100 lbs since getting married I could see him being frustrated, but maybe his idea of fat is that OP hasn't dropped the last 10 lbs of pregnancy weight in which case he really needs to get a grip.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 21:39     Subject: not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:OP, Im in a very similar situation - three kids, one of which is a baby, and working full time. I'm still overweight (5'5" 190lbs). It is really hard to juggle everything right now, but I would try to tune out what your DH is saying.

My DH started to "joke" around with me regarding my size, and I just shut it down. I will never be thin again, but I have a lot of great things in my life that bring me happiness. Your DH should love you for who you are on the inside, and making your partner feel bad about themself for their appearance is not acceptable. DH knows not to talk to me about my weight bc it makes me feel bad. As much as you don't want to confront him, you need to let him know what he's doing isn't ok.


You are certainly free to choose to never be thin again.
And DH is certainly free to be unattracted to an overweight wife.
Let's see how that works out for you both, long term.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 21:30     Subject: not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
She worked out every day, worked full time, and was a mom. Yeah, right. There aren't enough hours in the day -- unless you are really crappy at your job or your parenting.


Whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day. There are lots of us who are moms, work full time and exercise everyday.


Alot of dads too (work full time and exercise everyday) who aren't crappy parents nor crappy at job.

But once again this thread is sidetracked on how much time it takes to exercise (which, in reality, it doesn't).
If you are too busy to exercise, then DON'T EXERCISE.
Weightloss is 90% dictated by your diet (specifically, caloric intake).
It takes LESS time to eat fewer calories.
Stop with all the damned excuses about how you are fat because of being sooo busy.
False! You are fat because you eat too many bad calories. Stop doing that, and save alot of time with less eating.

Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 21:17     Subject: not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
OP, Im in a very similar situation - three kids, one of which is a baby, and working full time. I'm still overweight (5'5" 190lbs). It is really hard to juggle everything right now, but I would try to tune out what your DH is saying.

My DH started to "joke" around with me regarding my size, and I just shut it down. I will never be thin again, but I have a lot of great things in my life that bring me happiness. Your DH should love you for who you are on the inside, and making your partner feel bad about themself for their appearance is not acceptable. DH knows not to talk to me about my weight bc it makes me feel bad. As much as you don't want to confront him, you need to let him know what he's doing isn't ok.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 20:57     Subject: not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:^id like to add that in the summer I can go for a jog in the morning. But in the winter it's not possible.


I work out in a gym at lunch. Is that possible?


How do you do this and keep your job? There's travel time to the gym, changing, workingout, showering, changing back, travel back to work.

We have somebody who does this and he's gone almost 2 hours every day. And he seems to think we don't notice.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 20:05     Subject: Re:not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you check out the responses of those who say they cannot lose weight, the excuses are that they don't have the time, the cannot go on a "starvation mode" diet or that somehow the usual calories in vs calories out does not apply to them. Then others say they are fine being overweight and are willing to live with it.

One of the things about exercising is that you tend to eat less unless you exercise very strenuously and while doing so you certainly are not eating. Doing some weights in addition to cardio helps the process. You also don't need to go on a starvation diet to lose weight as long as you are active.

I eat everything incl dessert and fried foods and carbs, etc. The secret is moderation and the reality is that one does not need a lot of food to be satiated. As someone who used to overeat grossly, I am shocked today at how little food I eat and still feel fine - never hungry - because my stomach has probably shrunk. We eat out once a week and usually share an appetizer and entree because that is all we need to eat. We don't end up hungry I assure you. I also have a glass of wine most days.

Most people who think they don't eat much, do end up eating a lot more than they think they do.

I am trying to be constructive with these suggestions. It is doable but one needs to be willing to put in the effort.


I do daily cardio, I strength train, I eat low carb and if I have any appetizer it's usually just one small bite. I am losing weight. It is just much harder to do now that I'm older. When I slack off it comes right back on. At this point I just focus on feeling good and being able to do the things that I like to do and that means keeping weight below a certain point. It does not, nor never will again, mean that I'm "thin". That just is not even a goal now.


I understand. I am nearing seventy years and I am not skinny but I am definitely not overweight. I see enormous dividends in terms of what the past twenty years have done for me as a result of keeping my weight under control. I don't have the aches and pains that usually go with my age. Not diabetic, no hypertension, hardly any prescription meds, etc. It is not all genes because I have an overweight sibling who finds it difficult to move around and is taking every medication you can think of. He also does zero exercise.

I attribute this to being careful about what I eat and keeping active. The only thing worse than getting old is getting old and being infirm.


The women in my family tend to be overweight in middle age and beyond. I can't say that they have all avoided every medication out there but they have enjoyed reasonably good health and can get around, travel, enjoy grandkids even work at 70+. I'm exercising and making it a point to eat right but I think that I'm genetically wired to be a bit heavy at this age.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 20:00     Subject: not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:my mom is 60. She works out daily AND plays in a tennis league which puts her on the court 4 days a week. She has a hearty appetite. She is 5'9" tall and weighs 155. She is not scary skinny, nor is she remotely fat. She is a good 15lbs heavier than when she was 40. She's had 3 children. Just because you have gone through menopause does not mean you become fat. I see very very few women her age who are as active as she is. If you are inactive and you eat more calories than you burn you will be fat. This applies to children and senior citizens alike.


How does she manage her full time executive career with that much physical activity? Or, let me guess, she's a SAHM.


Uh, she's my mom. I know this is DC and all, She's 60. Her youngest child is 33..she still works a full time job. She always worked out when we were kids.


She worked out every day, worked full time, and was a mom. Yeah, right. There aren't enough hours in the day -- unless you are really crappy at your job or your parenting.


Whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day. There are lots of us who are moms, work full time and exercise everyday.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 19:54     Subject: not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:my mom is 60. She works out daily AND plays in a tennis league which puts her on the court 4 days a week. She has a hearty appetite. She is 5'9" tall and weighs 155. She is not scary skinny, nor is she remotely fat. She is a good 15lbs heavier than when she was 40. She's had 3 children. Just because you have gone through menopause does not mean you become fat. I see very very few women her age who are as active as she is. If you are inactive and you eat more calories than you burn you will be fat. This applies to children and senior citizens alike.


How does she manage her full time executive career with that much physical activity? Or, let me guess, she's a SAHM.


Uh, she's my mom. I know this is DC and all, She's 60. Her youngest child is 33..she still works a full time job. She always worked out when we were kids.


She worked out every day, worked full time, and was a mom. Yeah, right. There aren't enough hours in the day -- unless you are really crappy at your job or your parenting.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 19:23     Subject: not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:my mom is 60. She works out daily AND plays in a tennis league which puts her on the court 4 days a week. She has a hearty appetite. She is 5'9" tall and weighs 155. She is not scary skinny, nor is she remotely fat. She is a good 15lbs heavier than when she was 40. She's had 3 children. Just because you have gone through menopause does not mean you become fat. I see very very few women her age who are as active as she is. If you are inactive and you eat more calories than you burn you will be fat. This applies to children and senior citizens alike.


How does she manage her full time executive career with that much physical activity? Or, let me guess, she's a SAHM.


Uh, she's my mom. I know this is DC and all, She's 60. Her youngest child is 33..she still works a full time job. She always worked out when we were kids.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 19:16     Subject: Re:not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you check out the responses of those who say they cannot lose weight, the excuses are that they don't have the time, the cannot go on a "starvation mode" diet or that somehow the usual calories in vs calories out does not apply to them. Then others say they are fine being overweight and are willing to live with it.

One of the things about exercising is that you tend to eat less unless you exercise very strenuously and while doing so you certainly are not eating. Doing some weights in addition to cardio helps the process. You also don't need to go on a starvation diet to lose weight as long as you are active.

I eat everything incl dessert and fried foods and carbs, etc. The secret is moderation and the reality is that one does not need a lot of food to be satiated. As someone who used to overeat grossly, I am shocked today at how little food I eat and still feel fine - never hungry - because my stomach has probably shrunk. We eat out once a week and usually share an appetizer and entree because that is all we need to eat. We don't end up hungry I assure you. I also have a glass of wine most days.

Most people who think they don't eat much, do end up eating a lot more than they think they do.

I am trying to be constructive with these suggestions. It is doable but one needs to be willing to put in the effort.


I do daily cardio, I strength train, I eat low carb and if I have any appetizer it's usually just one small bite. I am losing weight. It is just much harder to do now that I'm older. When I slack off it comes right back on. At this point I just focus on feeling good and being able to do the things that I like to do and that means keeping weight below a certain point. It does not, nor never will again, mean that I'm "thin". That just is not even a goal now.


I understand. I am nearing seventy years and I am not skinny but I am definitely not overweight. I see enormous dividends in terms of what the past twenty years have done for me as a result of keeping my weight under control. I don't have the aches and pains that usually go with my age. Not diabetic, no hypertension, hardly any prescription meds, etc. It is not all genes because I have an overweight sibling who finds it difficult to move around and is taking every medication you can think of. He also does zero exercise.

I attribute this to being careful about what I eat and keeping active. The only thing worse than getting old is getting old and being infirm.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 17:57     Subject: not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
OP, sorry this happened to you and affected your vacation. It's not right.

In my view, it is completely irrelevant how much you weigh and even whether you made "good" calorie decisions while on vacation.

You have 3 kids. You are on vacation. You need a break, deserve a spouse who's supportive.

When you're not on vacation, if he wants to help cook healthful choices, suggest physical activities to do together, be with the kids so you can go to the gym, great.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2015 17:18     Subject: Re:not so subtle weight comments from DH ruining my vacation
Anonymous wrote:If you check out the responses of those who say they cannot lose weight, the excuses are that they don't have the time, the cannot go on a "starvation mode" diet or that somehow the usual calories in vs calories out does not apply to them. Then others say they are fine being overweight and are willing to live with it.

One of the things about exercising is that you tend to eat less unless you exercise very strenuously and while doing so you certainly are not eating. Doing some weights in addition to cardio helps the process. You also don't need to go on a starvation diet to lose weight as long as you are active.

I eat everything incl dessert and fried foods and carbs, etc. The secret is moderation and the reality is that one does not need a lot of food to be satiated. As someone who used to overeat grossly, I am shocked today at how little food I eat and still feel fine - never hungry - because my stomach has probably shrunk. We eat out once a week and usually share an appetizer and entree because that is all we need to eat. We don't end up hungry I assure you. I also have a glass of wine most days.

Most people who think they don't eat much, do end up eating a lot more than they think they do.

I am trying to be constructive with these suggestions. It is doable but one needs to be willing to put in the effort.


I do daily cardio, I strength train, I eat low carb and if I have any appetizer it's usually just one small bite. I am losing weight. It is just much harder to do now that I'm older. When I slack off it comes right back on. At this point I just focus on feeling good and being able to do the things that I like to do and that means keeping weight below a certain point. It does not, nor never will again, mean that I'm "thin". That just is not even a goal now.