Anonymous wrote:So in a few months OP will be back whining that her MIL doesn't do anything for her kids, stopped being part of their lives and the poor babies don't understand why Grandma doesn't give them presents and fancy cakes anymore. Then OP can swoop in to show her mother as being the 'good' grandmother.

It's been months since the original post. Did this happen?

OP, I have a similar MIL. You have to be like a duck and let it roll off your back. Pick and choose what battles you want to fight, and then if at all possible, have your DH lay down the law. Always practice good manners - as in, be gracious when receiving gifts, then if you see fit, donate them. She probably won't even remember what she bought them.

I care less and less about what MIL does as time goes on. I have less time to spend thinking about it. I now accept that fact that I simply don't have to buy my kids anything, my MIL will buy all the toys and clothes for our kids, and that I will donate several boxes of toys and clothes every season to goodwill.

However, if there are things that are clearly inappropriate or disrespectful, confront her and set your boundaries, then let it go. (Unless she does it again). You can't be a doormat either. But nothing you described seems to go in that territory.

So in a few months OP will be back whining that her MIL doesn't do anything for her kids, stopped being part of their lives and the poor babies don't understand why Grandma doesn't give them presents and fancy cakes anymore. Then OP can swoop in to show her mother as being the 'good' grandmother.

And she can sit with her mommy and root for her alma mater in the big game, even though she probably hasn't watched it for years.

DH? oh him... yes... I'm sure he'll get over having his family cut off because they were too generous. I'm sure he'll totally understand that.

OP don't listen to these over entitled douchbags on DCUM. I understand your issues is not the toys, or the gifts, or the pink frosted cake - its the fact that your MIL is insensitive, overbearing, passive aggressive, invasive, and controlling. Can you speak with your husband? Unfortunately, you may have a turf war on your hands - try your BEST not to look like the bad guy by blowing up on your MIL. You will have fight passive aggression with passive aggression.

Hopefully that overbearing bitch will back off to a degree. Good luck.

And to other over bearing MILs out there, learn to backdaeffup once in a while.

"To me you sound incredibly rigid. You are obsessed with STUFF, albeit expensive and tasteful, and you seem to prefer that stuff to relationships. Also, your kids are just your kids, you really can't generalize your experience onto a broader population of children, who come with different needs and temperaments."

+1000

I suppose MILs are grateful for their kind, appreciative, warm DILs today (and same is true of DILs and their MILs) - thanks to OP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm you are complaining bc someone shows up for the holidays and birthdays with too many presents or presents that are too awesome. A little perspective...it sounds like you are completely threatened by her (not letting kid blow out candles twice?). Don't be threatened! You are mom and irreplaceable. Enjoy the fact that this grandma, who is not even biological, loves on your kids. And I could totally go for a slice of pink cake.

+1

You say you're not competitive but obviously feel like you're competing. You need to get over it.

+1

No kidding. OP, I don't mean to sound harsh, but some DILs have nasty, selfish MILs. You sound like you hit the jackpot, and have nothing to genuinely gripe about. Would you be complaining so much, if you had a self centered, "my daughter's kids are the only ones who really count", angry, bitter MIL? Because I would gladly trade for a big hearted, thoughtful, generous MIL - in a heartbeat!

Grow up, OP - seriously. Find another "problem" to pick on. If your MIL "bothers" you so much, maybe it is because your own mother wasn't/isn't that great of a mother/grandmother? I don't see complaining about something so positive. You must be a real Negative Nelly.

Wait until OP becomes the MIL from hell and HER DIL posts about her. LOL.

OP is so insufferable I had to stop reading after page 4 of so. She's in for a treat later when her kids actually start thinking for themselves. She will freak out when she realizes they may not fit in her neat little box.

Mil sounds great!! A lot of DCUM people have grandparents who do not care at all. OP you sound controlling and rude esp you statement about not really being a relation. Are you clueless that there are tons of parents who have adopted on these forums. Duh!!

Anonymous wrote: The point is that if I don't think that certain toy is appropriate - there is no room for that toy in our house, regardless how hard my kids are begging for it or how pushy my ILs are.

+5000

Clearly this latest poster is also (without saying so) making sure to not raise her children as demon Americans, since her writing makes it clear she is not from here. (Even beyond the obvious and sad Zacher/Sacher torte reference.)

Anonymous wrote:Where can I find a good Zacher tort?

not sure about Zacher, but if you want a Sacher torte, Heidelberg in Arlington.

Anonymous wrote:You asked if my kids fought tooth and nail, and I said yes, they did. They asked for stuff that they saw in other kids home, like video game. But we had rules in our household that being enforced. As an example I mentioned video games - no link to health ( or maybe there is a link to mental health?) I just never researched it. The point is that if I don't think that certain toy is appropriate - there is no room for that toy in our house, regardless how hard my kids are begging for it or how pushy my ILs are.

Now thinking this is not a genuine poster. The ones who keep offering up more outlandish details to stir the pot get the side eye from me.