The damage isn't real. Is this really an issue for anyone past the age of 25?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's peculiar that "having respect for yourself" is often code for "acting in conformity with someone else's more conservative moral code."

I think it's peculiar that people think they should be able to escape the consequences for their bad behavior by attacking those who call them out on it.

Lemme ask you something Mr-High-and-Mighty: who exactly does this "bad behavior" harm? Why is it bad behavior? Like, show me the harm to random passers by that this behavior causes that makes it 'bad". The woman and the men who make out with her aren't random passers-by - they're willing participants. You sound like the straight morons who complain that "gay marriage" is a threat to your straight relationship. I've got news: if you and your spouse are really straight - truly, not just closet cases in hardcore self-denial - then what gay people do has zero effect on you or your marriage.

The women who slut shame are angry that these "easy" women are more attractive to men and the men who slut shame just want women who they think they have no risk of losing. It's all about sexual property and ownership.

Drinking in excess and taking drugs doesn't harm anyone "unwilling", either. Would you call them examples of good or bad behavior?

I'm the person who posted the question to High-and-Mighty. I would call taking drugs or drinking neither good or bad, in and of itself.

It was not clear that the OP was "drinking to excess"...that whole assumption has kind of wormed it's way in and changed things. No, I do not believe that intoxication - either from alcohol or any other drug - is, in and of itself, a "bad" activity, or necessarily "harmful" (to self or others). I know a shit-ton of highly functional, highly successful people who smoke weed and get a little drunk regularly. They don't abuse their children (or other personal relationships) or cause office drama or fail to perform in other aspects of life.

I recognize that there are Al-Anon and AA and NA types (all of whom share a particular brand of rigid, circular thinking) who will vehemently disagree with me and I will never persuade them. These people argue that "one drop" is the same as being at the end of the slippery slope down in the septic tank. I don't expect to persuade them. I personally don't choose to live in a black-and-white world.

In addition to being surrounded by highly successful role models, who poured me a few, I've also had plenty of dysfunctional substance abusers in my life. I've also had a few dysfunctional and emotionally dysregulated teetotalers, and you know what the common thread was? (Hint: not substance abuse!) It was being head cases. I'm sorry this will hurt the fee-fees of the headcases who want to blame it all on demon rum (or some other external locus of control - $deity forbid a human should be responsible, we are all, afterall powerless, aren't we? Before some kind of "Higher Power", right? Talk about magical thinking!).

In this particular case, the OP is complaining that it has damaged her reputation at work and is in the way of being seen as relationship material. So yes, the damage seems clear.

In this particular case, a troll has constructed a just-so story, one which sounds very much like the kind of story a real person wouldn't post online, but instead one which represents the fantasy imagination of someone who judges a "party girl". For all we know, the real "party girl" on whom this fictional archtype is based isn't suffering negative consequences and is perfectly happy. Jealous, insecure shitbirds, male and female, lurk everywhere. To some degree, we should be discreet in our lives because we are, unfortunately, surrounded by people like this, sometimes people like this in positions of professional power over us. On the other hand, we can't let these puritan scold shitbirds rule our lives - that means subjecting ourselves to the tyranny of the lowest (emotional IQ, common denominator, take your pick).

A serious question: Have you ever watched Rashomon?

My original challange was to people who "call them out on it". What fucking business is it of anyone - anyone not directly involved - to be "calling out" others on their behavior? Glass houses, glass houses. The vast majority of people "calling out" others are merely doing so to tear others down in an effort to make themselves feel better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's peculiar that "having respect for yourself" is often code for "acting in conformity with someone else's more conservative moral code."

I think it's peculiar that people think they should be able to escape the consequences for their bad behavior by attacking those who call them out on it.

Lemme ask you something Mr-High-and-Mighty: who exactly does this "bad behavior" harm? Why is it bad behavior? Like, show me the harm to random passers by that this behavior causes that makes it 'bad". The woman and the men who make out with her aren't random passers-by - they're willing participants. You sound like the straight morons who complain that "gay marriage" is a threat to your straight relationship. I've got news: if you and your spouse are really straight - truly, not just closet cases in hardcore self-denial - then what gay people do has zero effect on you or your marriage.

The women who slut shame are angry that these "easy" women are more attractive to men and the men who slut shame just want women who they think they have no risk of losing. It's all about sexual property and ownership.

Drinking in excess and taking drugs doesn't harm anyone "unwilling", either. Would you call them examples of good or bad behavior?

In this particular case, the OP is complaining that it has damaged her reputation at work and is in the way of being seen as relationship material. So yes, the damage seems clear.

Anonymous wrote:You're just wrong about self-respect. There may be a correlation between lack of self-respect and people who get drunk and screw. But it's a tenuous correlation. I respect myself tremendously and am, nevertheless, a fan of getting drunk and having sex when they seem like fun things to do.

You got it wrong, chronologically speaking. First, you get drunk. Then, in that state, having sex with random people seems like a fun thing to do. It doesn't usually seem like fun when you're sober. When you're drunk, lots of things seem fun that aren't really.

I'm so confused. Why can't hypothetical girl go outside her circle to look for dates?

All right, all right. I'm the OP. And yes, I trolled. Out of curiosity, because this argument happened to someone I know in RL. The responses were interesting, thank you.

Is this the first time in history someone has admitted to this? Night folks.

This thread is annoying in so many respects.

Party girl is probably a troll.

Yet I want to give her advice and guide her.

While I hate the term "feminazi" and I am not a liberal feminist by any means it still makes me mad when angry men snipe at the so-called "feminazi's."

So - here is a new name for YOU ALL. We will use an acronym for now and see which one of you neanderthals can figure it out first!

PWPF

Clue: second word is WHIPPED.

Probably a troll. If not, I think party girl has penis envy.

At work, men don't lose self respect when they head out to strip clubs, drink a bunch of liquor, close deals, smoke cigars, trash talk women, etc...

It's a male dominated society. You'll never be a guy. Join the high powered females in your industry and stop trying to climb the ladder with your pussy. Use your brain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm PP who said the slut-shamers are self-loathing repressed people who are very much like the gay-haters.

I feel the behavior is fine among consenting adults - and let's just be honest: it's not the drunken hookups that upset people, it's the female promiscuity - but I do agree that doing this in a work setting - and that includes non-work locations (bars, etc.) with people you also work with - is colossally dumb. There's an old saying: don't shit where you eat.

I think the OP was trolling (quite effectively as it turns out) but if it was a legit question and she actually wants to know about getting an LTR, the drunk hookups are not the best way to meet people.

So glad that there is someone who knows others better than they know themselves. How... what's the right word - ah yes - judgmental of you.

Some of us have actual experience with alcoholics, with drunk drivers, with sloppy drunk people embarrassing themselves and others. Sober people watch heavy drinking and see how stupid it makes people, and they make stupid, regrettable decisions.

This is the first time that someone has mentioned drinking as a problem as opposed to sex. Please forgive us all if we doubt your truthfulness when you say it's the drinking, not the sex, that bothers you.

I also posted at 12:08, 12:38 and 13:20 about the GETTING DRUNK as a problem. That's also why I called the people saying I was slut-shaming "deliberately obtuse" when I specifically said that DRUNK hook-ups show a lack of self-respect. If you think your judgment isn't impaired when you are drunk, I have a lovely bridge to sell you.

Anonymous wrote:

I laughed so hard. So harddddd.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
whole life. But I think bullshit like accusing everyone of slut-shaming and celebrating bad behavior because it's "empowering" or "liberating" or "fighting the patriarchy" is disingenuous.

Nonsense. People are being called out for hateful, destructive name-calling. Sleeping around doesn't harm anyone; it's nobody's business if you do. Name calling harms people and is directed at harming people.

You're being "attacked" for being a jerk. Jerks are very harmful.

Once again, you have made the common error of thinking that you are arguing with one person. These are two different posters; I know, because I am one of them.

And I have not called anyone any name, nor has the other poster you are quoting, so far as I can tell. I have not, therefore, by your own reasoning, harmed people.

You, however, just called me a jerk. I guess that means you are hateful and destructive and want to harm me. Interesting rhetorical technique you've got there.

*shrug*

You are using scare quotes around "feminist" for people who don't agree with your sex negative attitude. You are playing the victim card because someone called you out for slut-shaming. You are being a jerk.

I'm perfectly comfortable giving back what you are putting out to the world. If you act like an aggressive jerk, I will be an aggressive jerk right back. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

???

I'm an NP, for the record, and I think you're completely nuts. The only person being an aggressive jerk around here is you.

So you agree with Panty Sniffer Guy and Too Much Sex Makes You Diseased Lady?

Good to know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm PP who said the slut-shamers are self-loathing repressed people who are very much like the gay-haters.

I feel the behavior is fine among consenting adults - and let's just be honest: it's not the drunken hookups that upset people, it's the female promiscuity - but I do agree that doing this in a work setting - and that includes non-work locations (bars, etc.) with people you also work with - is colossally dumb. There's an old saying: don't shit where you eat.

I think the OP was trolling (quite effectively as it turns out) but if it was a legit question and she actually wants to know about getting an LTR, the drunk hookups are not the best way to meet people.

So glad that there is someone who knows others better than they know themselves. How... what's the right word - ah yes - judgmental of you.

Some of us have actual experience with alcoholics, with drunk drivers, with sloppy drunk people embarrassing themselves and others. Sober people watch heavy drinking and see how stupid it makes people, and they make stupid, regrettable decisions.

This is the first time that someone has mentioned drinking as a problem as opposed to sex. Please forgive us all if we doubt your truthfulness when you say it's the drinking, not the sex, that bothers you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
whole life. But I think bullshit like accusing everyone of slut-shaming and celebrating bad behavior because it's "empowering" or "liberating" or "fighting the patriarchy" is disingenuous.

Nonsense. People are being called out for hateful, destructive name-calling. Sleeping around doesn't harm anyone; it's nobody's business if you do. Name calling harms people and is directed at harming people.

You're being "attacked" for being a jerk. Jerks are very harmful.

Once again, you have made the common error of thinking that you are arguing with one person. These are two different posters; I know, because I am one of them.

And I have not called anyone any name, nor has the other poster you are quoting, so far as I can tell. I have not, therefore, by your own reasoning, harmed people.

You, however, just called me a jerk. I guess that means you are hateful and destructive and want to harm me. Interesting rhetorical technique you've got there.

*shrug*

You are using scare quotes around "feminist" for people who don't agree with your sex negative attitude. You are playing the victim card because someone called you out for slut-shaming. You are being a jerk.

I'm perfectly comfortable giving back what you are putting out to the world. If you act like an aggressive jerk, I will be an aggressive jerk right back. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

???

I'm an NP, for the record, and I think you're completely nuts. The only person being an aggressive jerk around here is you.

Welp... the thread has descended to "I know you are, but what am I?"

It's a new low on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should party with fun, exciting, good looking dudes for the next 2 or 3 years. Then, when you hit 30 - before your looks start to go, you should find a stable, reasonably successful guy to settle down with, even if you wouldn't have bothered hooking up with him in your 20s.

And why should he want to settle with her?

Not OP, but because I have mad skills in bed.

But no man wNts to show up at a party with a wife of gf and have 5 or 10 other guys know how good her skills are in bed.

Which is why you don't play where you work.