Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 20:36     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My daughter was sleeping at her house and my mom overslept, and did not set an alarm clock, and did not use a monitor or keep the doors open in her hallway. I found my daughter crying in her crib, hungry and wet, 4 hours after she wakes up every day. So, yeah. Short of physical injury I can't think of much worse. I want to cry just typing this.



So you have no idea if it really was 4 hrs? Maybe she was exhausted from playing with your mom? Maybe she happily played for awhile? Sorry but you are assuming a lot and sound a little crazy.


NP here. are you serious? Doesn't your kid generally wake up at the same time every day? How would you feel if you were stuck somewhere wet and hungry with no explanation? This was neglectful...and it's sad her mom doesn't realize this.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 20:13     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
Anonymous wrote:I'd be more worried that my mother was sleeping that long and couldn't hear DD. Prescription or not (I take meds that cause drowsiness and I still wake up when I hear DS getting up in the AM) being able to sleep that late and through a kid screaming would worry me.

Also yeah, this wasn't extraordinarily neglectful.


agree
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 19:51     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
Anonymous wrote:OP the person who really got neglected was you. You just lost a pregnancy, and you need all the love and care you can get from all those close to you, including your mother.

She let you down, big time.

Sadly she may be demonstrating symptoms that need medical attention, or an increased level of care.


Agree with this.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 19:37     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
Anonymous wrote:
BUT . . . your child was safe. Your child was never really in danger. Yes, it was horrible, yes your kid was probably miserable, hungry, and wet. But in danger? Not really. Your mom screwed up, no doubt. I probably wouldn't let my mom watch the baby overnight again until she acknowledged what she did was wrong.


I strongly disagree. The danger was that the toddler had no supervision. Not safe.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 19:35     Subject: Re:So angry at my mother I could just explode
I'm sorry about your miscarriage. But even aside from this miscarriage, I would be pissed too. I don't think there is much you can do except limit alone time between your mom and daughter.

There was an incident with my Mom a few months ago- not even remotely as severe as yours- and I just feel like I can't trust her to put my daughter's well-being first. Its weird because my mom was a *great* parent to me. But she's not the same kind of grandmother. Now, I wouldn't leave my DD alone with my mom for more than an hour. But she lives across the country so non-issue I guess.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 19:19     Subject: Re:So angry at my mother I could just explode
OP, I hope today is a little better, you are in my thoughts.

I think some of the flak you got in the early part of the thread was because you initially did not include any details about what happened, so it sounded like it wasn't such a big deal. Now that we know the whole story it very clearly is a big deal and you were right to be so upset.

I'm one of the people who posted early on and I should have been more thoughtful. I'm very sorry.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 18:23     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
Anonymous wrote:OP, I have not read all 10 pages of this thread. Just sending you a virtual hug and a glass of wine. Maybe a pedicure. Because I totally get why you freaked out. If I had discovered my infant in a similar situation, I'd have been livid. Furious. Angry. And I am known for my absolutely epic overreactions, so I'm sure I would have gone ballistic.

BUT . . . your child was safe. Your child was never really in danger. Yes, it was horrible, yes your kid was probably miserable, hungry, and wet. But in danger? Not really. Your mom screwed up, no doubt. I probably wouldn't let my mom watch the baby overnight again until she acknowledged what she did was wrong.


I disagree the child was not in danger. Would you leave your toddler in her crib and go out? It does not sound like the mom would have woken up in any type of emergency situation. I would never let her watch my child alone again regardless of whether she acknowledges it was wrong. Did you see the part where OP had to bang on the mom's locked bedroom door for several minutes in order to wake her? Add the wine glass in the sink.

So sorry, OP, for this and for your loss.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 18:12     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
OP, I have not read all 10 pages of this thread. Just sending you a virtual hug and a glass of wine. Maybe a pedicure. Because I totally get why you freaked out. If I had discovered my infant in a similar situation, I'd have been livid. Furious. Angry. And I am known for my absolutely epic overreactions, so I'm sure I would have gone ballistic.

BUT . . . your child was safe. Your child was never really in danger. Yes, it was horrible, yes your kid was probably miserable, hungry, and wet. But in danger? Not really. Your mom screwed up, no doubt. I probably wouldn't let my mom watch the baby overnight again until she acknowledged what she did was wrong.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 17:17     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
Op, I'm so sorry for your loss. I would have been livid too. I'm 100% sure your daughter will be fine.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 17:11     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
Anonymous wrote:Just skimmed thread and a couple points:

-Sorry for your loss OP. I didn't think you were overreacting when you wrote your second post. Letting a baby stay in the crib for four hoyrs crying is not okay. If any of the 'overreacting' crowd had a sitter that did that, I doubt you would have felt the same.

-Since when is a kid staying overnight at grandparent's home questionable???


That was my question! I was surprised at the number of people who asked why the kid was even there- my son has spend the night at my in laws many times before.

OP, I would be really upset, too, and I'm very sorry for your loss. Hugs to you, and ignore the people calling you crazy.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 16:53     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
Just skimmed thread and a couple points:

-Sorry for your loss OP. I didn't think you were overreacting when you wrote your second post. Letting a baby stay in the crib for four hoyrs crying is not okay. If any of the 'overreacting' crowd had a sitter that did that, I doubt you would have felt the same.

-Since when is a kid staying overnight at grandparent's home questionable???
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 15:48     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My daughter was sleeping at her house and my mom overslept, and did not set an alarm clock, and did not use a monitor or keep the doors open in her hallway. I found my daughter crying in her crib, hungry and wet, 4 hours after she wakes up every day. So, yeah. Short of physical injury I can't think of much worse. I want to cry just typing this.



So you have no idea if it really was 4 hrs? Maybe she was exhausted from playing with your mom? Maybe she happily played for awhile? Sorry but you are assuming a lot and sound a little crazy.


No, this was first thing in the morning. I put her to bed there last night, showed up at noon today to find her crying in the bed with my mom passed out in the other room. She wakes up at clockwork at 8:00 every morning. She was starving and wet and now she is scared to go back in a crib. She was screaming so loudly when my husband tried to put her pajamas on that I could hear her two floors away.


You sound ridiculous. Why are you leaving your kid overnight to begin with?


Because I had a miscarriage and had to have a D&C this morning and had to be at pre-op with my husband at 6:00 a.m. This was just not a good day.

And btw, my mom does not deny what happened at all. She was disoriented and I had to bang on her (locked) bedroom door for minutes to wake her up and she asked what time it was. She just thinks it's my fault for reasons that make no sense, like I should have helped her set her alarm the night before.

Ok, I'm not posting any more about this, it boggles my mind that anyone could side with someone who would do something so neglectful.
Yes, this is very worrying. I'd be worried about your mom but I also would think your mom doesn't have good judgment and should not take care of your daughter overnight. While it's probably true, as some pps have said, that your daughter will be fine, what if there had been a real emergency, like a house fire? No way you should leave your kid with your mom overnight again.

And forgive me, I come from a family with a lot of addiction, but I would be very concerned about her use of prescription medication as well as watching to see if she drinks while she is taking medication.

So sorry you went through this, OP!
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 15:39     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
OP the person who really got neglected was you. You just lost a pregnancy, and you need all the love and care you can get from all those close to you, including your mother.

She let you down, big time.

Sadly she may be demonstrating symptoms that need medical attention, or an increased level of care.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 15:10     Subject: So angry at my mother I could just explode
OP im so sorry about what haopened, not sure why everyone is being such a bitch to you. I have a 2 year old, and if this happened I would also be livid.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2014 14:34     Subject: Re:So angry at my mother I could just explode
Count it as only three hours because I don't know a single child that didn't sleep late this week because of daylight saving time. I know that seems smarmy, but not really.