Anonymous
Post 08/20/2013 09:06     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
My former boss smugly laughed off my FTM "plans" when I told her that since my DH works nights, my mom would fly to where I was traveling for a business trip to help care for our infant dd. She said she tried not to think about her kids on business trips and advised me to do the same.
I held my tongue. Her husband is a SAHD which is why she doesn't have to worry about childcare on trips.
Talk about revisionist thinking.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2013 08:58     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Anonymous wrote:I like the dads who are smug about their wives' natural childbirths. Or their breastfeeding. Smug by proxy.


Oh my goodness yes! Once had a male boss who offered a smug cautionary tale about waiting too long to go to the hospital (I was pregnant at the time with our first). His "macho" wife (his words not mine) did this and ended up going to the hospital nearest the job instead of where she was registered. He gave me a blow by blow account of how she kept a stiff upper lip while medical residents looked on. He gave me a blow by blow account of her episiotomy...which she weathered like a trooper, apparently.
You can't unhear something like that.
Then he told me to get an epidural because there are few women like his wife.
A fellow mom coworker and I just stated at each other like "did that just happen in real life."
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2013 08:44     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Anonymous wrote:I am a single dad of a toddler, and there is a mother in my building that I try to avoid at all costs. Every single thing she says comes back around to my daughter not having a mother.

"Oh, look at your pretty yellow dress! Your daddy must not know all girls love pink." Then to me, "I know she doesn't have a mother so you have no way of knowing this, but pink is the way to go. Any time there's a pink option, pick that. And if a store doesn't have pink, ask."

She actually believes she's helping me. Never mind that my daughter picked out her own yellow dress when we were in the store.

The woman does this EVERY TIME we run into each other in the elevator. I have taken to giving my daughter piggy back rides and taking the stairs to avoid her.


I'm so sorry, PP. In all seriousness, I would say something to her. You can be polite and gentle, but let her know that her comments are unwelcome and unwarranted, and not only do they seem judgmental and sexist, but they may be upsetting your daughter and/or undermining you to your daughter. (I doubt the last two things are true, but they are possible and maybe this bozo will take that seriously.)
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2013 07:34     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Deep down this is the same woman who as a little girl who Mickey Mouse or Pluto didn't hug when she visited Disney as a kid and now she holds a life long grudge, argh!
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2013 07:27     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
I hate those balance bikes, all I hear is the slam of them on the nice wood floors and walls of the house.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2013 07:25     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Balance Biking Mom. Yes, it's impressive that your just turned 3 yo is riding a big kids bike with no training wheels. Please stop trying to give my 4yo (with training wheels) your old balance bike "so he can catch up." He's fine.

My balance biking kid didn't have the coordination to stop the bike properly and while he can ride it fine at 5, he doesn't want to because he had a couple unfortunate encounters with trees and is not comfortable with braking. I doubt the 3 year old has the faculties to properly control the bike anyway.



AKA "If my five-year-old is unwilling/unable to do something, it is unfathomable to me that there exists a younger child who is willing/able to do the same thing." Not smug at all.

-Friend of a parent of a 4 year old who "has the faculties to properly control" a balance bike and has for about 6 months now.


Was it my use of the word faculties that bothered you? Sorry about that. I agree about the 4 year old being able to use the bike but would be really surprised about a 3 year old just because riding a bike requires so much coordination. Since you called me smug, well smug you too. Actually when it comes to my son I think he's really uncoordinated and clumsy so it's probably better that he doesn't ride the bike. I think there probably exist millions of children much younger than him that are probably much more advanced, mature and better at a lot of things. Am I still being smug? I give up.
Anonymous
Post 08/20/2013 03:02     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ok, now I'm wondering if I came off sounding doubly smug in this situation: I show up at another family's house for a playdate. Other kid starts handing me diapers with Sesame street characters on them. I show them to my kid and say, "Look it's a bird! You haven't met him yet, but he's called Big bird" and then I turned to the parents, "sorry, she doesn't know what these are." (=potential mistake #1) They assumed I meant my kid didn't know what diapers are because we use cloth which is not at all what I meant. I already knew the cloth vs disposable confused might have seemed smug and I tried to clarify that's not what I was saying and my kid knows what a paper diaper looks like, but maybe the "oh, she doesn't know Sesame Street characters" comment could have also offended.

Ufh people - I hope we aren't all so sensitive in real life.


I can't tell if you're serious or joking.

If you're joking...good one.

If not. Lordy. I have NEVER told my 18mo son "you haven't met him yet" or told anybody "he doesn't know who this is." Because he doesn't care, and nobody else cares!!!When ds points at something at the store I say "yes, that's Mickey Mouse!" or if I'm at somebody's house and they hand him a toy I say "look! Spongebob!" And that's that. You really must explain why you have a need to INTRODUCE the character and EXPLAIN to anybody whether your kid is familiar with the Big Bird or not. Really.


Not the PP you're quoting, but I can totally see myself doing/saying something like the above because I'm generally awkward and/or naive, and I'm a master at putting my foot into my mouth. I explain everything under the sun to 7 mo old DS because I don't know what to do with him half the time except talk to him! So I basically speak stream-of-consciousness to him most of the time. For what it's worth, I'm certain I'll be that mom everyone looks down on for not keeping their child away from marketing, Disney, whatever. I have yet to spend 2 minutes thinking about whether DS should grow up knowing who sponge bob is or not. I just want him to be happy.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2013 23:38     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Went to a birthday party this weekend for a classmates of my DD. They had a character come by as a surprise ("the princess and the frog" princess, the name is escaping me right now) and there was one mom there who made it known her DD had NO idea who that was because she is not exposed to Disney, media, or licensed products. It was such an odd thing to boast about and I found it really rude. She went up to her DD and said "this is just a fun dress up person who have a silly time with." It was so over the top and I couldnt get it out of my mind. Anyone run into a mom whos a little too proud of herself for some random parenting decision? Please share about similar crazies out there!


You should check out this site, www.dcurbanmom.com, lots of self-righteous parents.



I agree!!! There are a LOT of self righteous people on that website!!!! LMAO


+1, post anything and you will get flamed for making the wrong parenting choices


Yup. And after reading this thread, I think only a few of these are actual smug parent posts - single dad and yellow dress, little boy asking to play in French and hamburger mom. The Disney character blah blah blah, well while my kid recognizes most of them, if other kids don't, I don't think it's odd. And comparing Dora recognition to Mindy Kaling? Please. You couldn't have said Brad Pitt or something, lol.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2013 23:28     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
I come from a family that sheltered us kids from all the "pop culture". I remember feeling stupid and left out when I was about 7 yo and my friends would discuss the latest cartoon or movie or whatever.
Maybe if I were in Waldorf school I would not feel that way, I don't know.
But I see no big deal in exposing my son to popular characters every once in awhile.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2013 23:18     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Umm, your child is only 7 MONTHS old!! Come back and talk to us when he's seven YEARS old!!!!


Don't let others discourage you, PP. I feel strongly that the stories that feed my child's mind should be of the highest possible caliber, so I am one of those crazy moms who limits media consumption and "characters."

I agree it is impossible for most families, because if you stick your kid in daycare then preschool, then public, you lose control over what they are exposed to from friends and from classroom materials. I kept mine with a like-minded nanny, then sent them to a character-free preschool, and they are about to start a character-free elementary program. I know others who have stayed home partly for this reason. I may seem like a silly priority for some, but if you want to, you can make it work.

When my then-3-year-old saw Dora at the white House Egg Roll 2 years ago, she yelled, "Look! It's the girl from my pull-ups!" Only assocition for her. She is now 5 and in the princess phase, but the only Disney princess she knows is Merida (an intentional choice on my part). Other than that, we look for stories about princesses and queens who display bravery, sacrifice, leadership, and--most importantly--ownership of their choices. Her peer group is friends from her school and we have had only one princess birthday party so far. Her brother is right there too.

You can think this is a stupid or wasteful priority, but if you think it's impossible, you're wrong.


What on earth is a character free preschool and public school? If you actually think these exist outside of locking your kid at home you are a NUTCASE.


PP with the 7 month old boy here. I believe Waldorf Schools don't allow all kinds of marketing and commercial stuff in their schools, no Disney, etc.

I know there is a saturation of corporate crap and marketing in our culture but I don't like it so I am going to do my best to keep as much of it away from my kid as possible when he is older. Obv now he is learning to crawl so it doesn't rally matter yet. I like the PP's idea bout searching out stories about princesses and queens who have displayed good qualities, like bravery. How is having an animated stripper body and waiting around for a man to come make your life complete something we want to teach our kids is a feminine ideal?

I don't care what y'all think about me for holding these opinions.


I am the much-maligned PP from above, and yes, it's a Waldorf school. To address some of the accusations/assumtions:

1) the point is not to shelter Larla and Snowflake from any and all outside influence forever, but to surround them with stories about people who are making powerful, potent choices when they are very young, so that the stories starring empty stereotypes will be less appealing. That is why I prefer "scary" Brave to vapid Cinderella. Merida has terrible fights with her mother, but they come from a real and complex relationship between two characters making real choices, and the movie led to a lot of talks about listening to others and how being a leader means taking responsibility. Cinderella makes alomst no choices. She works hard (for people who abuse her) and is endlessly cheerful, but her stepmother, the fairy godmother, the king and the duke make all of the choices in the story.

2). Sorry to disapoint, but my DD potty-trained at 2, she just has a long memory--not that 3 is even that late.

3). I am not a fan of princesses, but my DD is right now, which is why we read about them. We read plenty of book about other types of characters, just not when it's her turn to pick.

4). I know I will continue to be ripped apart a d I should probably give up.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2013 23:10     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Balance Biking Mom. Yes, it's impressive that your just turned 3 yo is riding a big kids bike with no training wheels. Please stop trying to give my 4yo (with training wheels) your old balance bike "so he can catch up." He's fine.

My balance biking kid didn't have the coordination to stop the bike properly and while he can ride it fine at 5, he doesn't want to because he had a couple unfortunate encounters with trees and is not comfortable with braking. I doubt the 3 year old has the faculties to properly control the bike anyway.



AKA "If my five-year-old is unwilling/unable to do something, it is unfathomable to me that there exists a younger child who is willing/able to do the same thing." Not smug at all.

-Friend of a parent of a 4 year old who "has the faculties to properly control" a balance bike and has for about 6 months now.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2013 23:00     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I like the dads who are smug about their wives' natural childbirths. Or their breastfeeding. Smug by proxy.


I really try to get him to put a sock in it but I can not control him, sorry! He's that way about anything - our discipline approach, our kid's latest developmental achievement, how many hours I labored, anything! He's just really excited about our latest discoveries in the adventures of parenthood and expresses it in a way that can come off as smug; he means it as "Oh look as this cool thing I just found!" but it can sound like "Look how great we are!" Sorry ladies - I can't shut up the smug hubs. When I give you that panicked, apologetic look - believe that I am more mortified than you.


I can totally relate! My dh has told so many people lately that our toddler son loves feta cheese. DH is just surprised is all. It's just that dh thinks big chunks of plain feta have a very strong flavor so it's surprising that our VERY frustratingly picky eater likes it. But recently I think one relative heard him say this more than once, and had a kind of "oh big deal" response. Lol...I do the apologetic look a lot too

Also, when people say things like "oh your son is walking so well now," dh will elaborate with a very proud "oh yes, he's also climbing stairs! and can climb into the chairs!...." etc. I'm more like "yes, he's walking well now, and god help me he's climbing now too so it's all downhill from here."
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2013 22:39     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I like the dads who are smug about their wives' natural childbirths. Or their breastfeeding. Smug by proxy.


I really try to get him to put a sock in it but I can not control him, sorry! He's that way about anything - our discipline approach, our kid's latest developmental achievement, how many hours I labored, anything! He's just really excited about our latest discoveries in the adventures of parenthood and expresses it in a way that can come off as smug; he means it as "Oh look as this cool thing I just found!" but it can sound like "Look how great we are!" Sorry ladies - I can't shut up the smug hubs. When I give you that panicked, apologetic look - believe that I am more mortified than you.


You sound pretty smug about your annoying husband. Just saying.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2013 22:21     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Anonymous wrote:I like the dads who are smug about their wives' natural childbirths. Or their breastfeeding. Smug by proxy.


I really try to get him to put a sock in it but I can not control him, sorry! He's that way about anything - our discipline approach, our kid's latest developmental achievement, how many hours I labored, anything! He's just really excited about our latest discoveries in the adventures of parenthood and expresses it in a way that can come off as smug; he means it as "Oh look as this cool thing I just found!" but it can sound like "Look how great we are!" Sorry ladies - I can't shut up the smug hubs. When I give you that panicked, apologetic look - believe that I am more mortified than you.
Anonymous
Post 08/19/2013 22:18     Subject: Ever meet a mom whos so smug about the stupidest things?
Anonymous wrote:Balance Biking Mom. Yes, it's impressive that your just turned 3 yo is riding a big kids bike with no training wheels. Please stop trying to give my 4yo (with training wheels) your old balance bike "so he can catch up." He's fine.

My balance biking kid didn't have the coordination to stop the bike properly and while he can ride it fine at 5, he doesn't want to because he had a couple unfortunate encounters with trees and is not comfortable with braking. I doubt the 3 year old has the faculties to properly control the bike anyway.