Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NCS moms, do you have an idea of where your DD fits into the social strata? From my observations and conversations with my DD and her friends, my DD seems to be fitting in very well with everyone. I had heard through the grapevine (3rd hand gossip), however, that my DD could be one of those middle school girls in the "in crowd," who is being mean to others not considered to be part of that crowd. This has distressed me to no end, one, because I'd be horrified and alarmed if true. Two, because I'd be shown to be totally clueless, and I really thought I knew my DD. Third, I'd be wondering the cause of such behavior (her friends? the school environment? me?!?).

Is she a lifer? Do you belong to ccc or other country club? Did she go to dancing school? If so, she is prob in the mean girl crowd.

Your response is mean.

I wasn't being snarky. I was being accurate. The mean girls cliques at ncs tend to consist of girls who went to dancing school (particularly shippins), are lifers starting from Beauvior or at least fourth grade, belong to country clubs, etc. not mean. Just true.

Anonymous wrote:NCS moms, do you have an idea of where your DD fits into the social strata? From my observations and conversations with my DD and her friends, my DD seems to be fitting in very well with everyone. I had heard through the grapevine (3rd hand gossip), however, that my DD could be one of those middle school girls in the "in crowd," who is being mean to others not considered to be part of that crowd. This has distressed me to no end, one, because I'd be horrified and alarmed if true. Two, because I'd be shown to be totally clueless, and I really thought I knew my DD. Third, I'd be wondering the cause of such behavior (her friends? the school environment? me?!?).

You could speak with the middle school head and find out if its true (I suspect she would know) and if so what you can do about it.

You won't get a straight answer from other moms or from your daughter.

Anonymous wrote:I'd ask her point blank, well almost. Look her straight in the eye and say: "There's a lot of information out there about the social stuff in your class. What's going on with so and so?" inserting whatever name of the girl(s) who is no longer around or you never hear about. You may get an answer about how awful said girl is and I would press dd about her own actions and behavior and that of her clique.

Your response is thoughtful and helpful -- kudos.

Anonymous wrote:Is she soccer or lax player?

And your response is mean.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NCS moms, do you have an idea of where your DD fits into the social strata? From my observations and conversations with my DD and her friends, my DD seems to be fitting in very well with everyone. I had heard through the grapevine (3rd hand gossip), however, that my DD could be one of those middle school girls in the "in crowd," who is being mean to others not considered to be part of that crowd. This has distressed me to no end, one, because I'd be horrified and alarmed if true. Two, because I'd be shown to be totally clueless, and I really thought I knew my DD. Third, I'd be wondering the cause of such behavior (her friends? the school environment? me?!?).

Is she a lifer? Do you belong to ccc or other country club? Did she go to dancing school? If so, she is prob in the mean girl crowd.

Your response is mean.

I'd ask her point blank, well almost. Look her straight in the eye and say: "There's a lot of information out there about the social stuff in your class. What's going on with so and so?" inserting whatever name of the girl(s) who is no longer around or you never hear about. You may get an answer about how awful said girl is and I would press dd about her own actions and behavior and that of her clique.

Is she soccer or lax player?

Anonymous wrote:NCS moms, do you have an idea of where your DD fits into the social strata? From my observations and conversations with my DD and her friends, my DD seems to be fitting in very well with everyone. I had heard through the grapevine (3rd hand gossip), however, that my DD could be one of those middle school girls in the "in crowd," who is being mean to others not considered to be part of that crowd. This has distressed me to no end, one, because I'd be horrified and alarmed if true. Two, because I'd be shown to be totally clueless, and I really thought I knew my DD. Third, I'd be wondering the cause of such behavior (her friends? the school environment? me?!?).

Is she a lifer? Do you belong to ccc or other country club? Did she go to dancing school? If so, she is prob in the mean girl crowd.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if it is different for the girls who come to NCS just for high school. My daughter switched over to NCS for 9th grade, and she has been very happy for her 4 years there. Her friends (many of whom were also new in 9th grade) seemed to enjoy their experience also.

+1

I came in at seventh grade, which I believe is the worst entry year, particularly since I was in glasses, braces, had bad hair, etc. those are the meanest years. By the ninth grade the girls are more mature, less judgmental,etc, so I think those who come in 9th don't have the bad memories of middle school weighing them down etc. I very much wish I had gone to deal for middle and started at ncs in 9 th

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish to God I could be a fly on the wall of that middle school counselors office...
If anyone knows what goes on there if anything please share.

They try to correct the damage done at home.

I believe this is true for the most part. Mean moms beget mean girls.

NCS moms, do you have an idea of where your DD fits into the social strata? From my observations and conversations with my DD and her friends, my DD seems to be fitting in very well with everyone. I had heard through the grapevine (3rd hand gossip), however, that my DD could be one of those middle school girls in the "in crowd," who is being mean to others not considered to be part of that crowd. This has distressed me to no end, one, because I'd be horrified and alarmed if true. Two, because I'd be shown to be totally clueless, and I really thought I knew my DD. Third, I'd be wondering the cause of such behavior (her friends? the school environment? me?!?).

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if it is different for the girls who come to NCS just for high school. My daughter switched over to NCS for 9th grade, and she has been very happy for her 4 years there. Her friends (many of whom were also new in 9th grade) seemed to enjoy their experience also.

From my observation, yes, the girls who entered during 9th grade during my DD's year were far happier on many levels. There was only one girl who left after 9th grade, she couldn't handle the academics, transition, etc.

I wonder if it is different for the girls who come to NCS just for high school. My daughter switched over to NCS for 9th grade, and she has been very happy for her 4 years there. Her friends (many of whom were also new in 9th grade) seemed to enjoy their experience also.

11th grade at ANY school is incredibly stressful now. It is difficult for parents to see their kids struggle. I know several parents of 11th graders - some at NCS, and many that are not, who have hated watching their kids suffer through this year feeling helpless because they cannot help solve the problem. Too much pressure is packed into this one year. An all girl's school filled with high-achiveers only enhances the effects. I'm not suggesting that there aren't bullies at NCS (and every other school). I just don't think it's fair to suggest the school is not doing enough to fix it. IMO the school is very aware of the emotional pressures girls this age place on themselves and each other. We as parents also bear some responsiblity. The 11th graders I know who have managed this year the best all seem to have a lot of outside activities that have helped lower some of the pressure of school work, tests, and college applications.

I know firsthand how a particular group of kids can be toxic - we pulled one child out of a school for that very reason. It does get harder over time to make that choice, but parents can and should do so if they see a problem. I have two DDs at NCS and they know they are free to leave whenever they choose. And, to answer the obvious question, "no", neither is the "Queen Bee" or part of the mean girl crew (which thankfully is not a large group in their resepctive classes).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Au contraire 7:24 the damage done at school. Is that not what all these posts are about. true to form it could NEVER be the school. Hmmmm...

You seriously don't think the entitled selfish behavior is learned by most at home?

So what if it is. The school has a responsibility to control its own environment.